Chuck Norris Counts to Infinity Twice

[mugaliens]

Continental drift? Nope. Chuck Norris.

 

[mugaliens]

Chuck Norris never visited Europe.

Europe visited Chuck Norris.

 

[mugaliens]

Chuck Norris doesn't take out the trash. He kicks it out.

 

[mugaliens]

Chuck Norris doesn't fix his own cars. They fix themselves as he's walking towards them.

 

[mugaliens]

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep on a bed. The bed sleeps under Chuck Norris.

 

[mugaliens]

Chuck Norris doesn't need a remote. Nothing is beyond his reach.

 

[mugaliens]

San Antonio once invited Chuck Norris to join their police force. What they didn't realize is that he was the police force.

 

[mugaliens]

When Chuck Norris needed a place to store his data, he roundhouse kicked the Beatles' White Album into a 1 TB hard drive. In 1967.

 

[mugaliens]

When Chuck Norris needs his back scratched, he roundhouse kicks whoever's in front of him clear around the planet.

 

[mugaliens]

Chuck Norris owns seven homes, one on each of the seven different continents, and lives in all of them.

At the same time.

 

[mugaliens]

Chuck Norris would never run for President. Ruler of the Universe, perhaps, but never President.

 

[mugaliens]

Chuck Norris never tapes his moving boxes shut. They stay closed out of fear.

 

[mugaliens]

Chuck Norris had a dog. It lived for 4,379 years, just like Chuck Norris.

 

[mugaliens]

When Chuck Norris decides to have a cup of coffee, the beans grind themselves.

 

[mugaliens]

Chuck Norris once grabbed a pair of live electrical wires.

He shocked the whole town.

 

[mugaliens]

Mailmen aren't afraid of anything.

Except dogs.

And Chuck Norris.

 

[mugaliens]

Clive Cussler didn't Raise the Titanic.

Chuck Norris did.

Well, he felt bad, as he was the one who sunk it in the first place.

 

[mugaliens]

Chuck Norris once had an epiphany.

Rome.

 

[nismaratwork]

Chuck Norris once had an epiphany.

Rome.

:rofl:

That is the best of a very large bunch.

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

In the bathroom of chuck Norris you will find a roll of sand paper instead of the regular toilet paper!

That's not quite correct.

 

[FizixFreak]

That's not quite correct.

Its looks like you have been to the bathroom of chuck Norris how did you survived?...,Anyways


Chuck Norris was once attacked by grizzly bears while camping in the woods....,chuck Norris was later charged with animal cruelty!

Despite being a man chuck Norris can breastfeed a baby!

Chuck Norris can measure the speed and position of any subatomic particle...,SIMULTANEOUSLY!

If the mentors find out that i am a friend of chuck Norris they will never lock any of my thread

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Borek surmised that the PF post rate jumped radically due to this thread. Not true! I did some checking and found that the post count doubled when Chuck Norris made a post.

 

[nismaratwork]

Borek surmised that the PF post rate jumped radically due to this thread. Not true! I did some checking and found that the post count doubled when Chuck Norris made a post.

:rofl:

That's a winner right there.

Chuck Norris is the Bodhisattva of ***-kicking.

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Chuck Norris can measure the speed and position of any subatomic particle...,SIMULTANEOUSLY!

Yeah!

If the mentors find out that i am a friend of chuck Norris they will never lock any of my thread

Problem is... Chuck Norris doesn't have friends, he's a One Man Wrecking Crew.

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Borek surmised that the PF post rate jumped radically due to this thread. Not true! I did some checking and found that the post count doubled when Chuck Norris made a post.

I thought it tripled??

 

[FizixFreak]

Problem is... Chuck Norris doesn't have friends, he's a One Man Wrecking Crew.

No you are wrong...,kill him chuck kill him!

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

So you're saying Chuck isn't a One Man Wrecking Crew?

 

[FizixFreak]

So you're saying Chuck isn't a One Man Wrecking Crew?

You will not live long enough to find the answer!

Chuck Norris can make Nismar's lesbian friend straight

 

[nismaratwork]

You will not live long enough to find the answer!

Chuck Norris can make Nismar's lesbian friend straight

He could too, it's not that he's attractive, he just has magical powers.

She'd go back to women when he was gone however, even Norris has his limits.


Chuck Norris can command slime-molds to form enormous structures and act as his private army, or privy (depending on need).

Chuck Norris takes his coffee black, with a splash of botulinum for flavor.

Chuck Norris injects sea-snake venom into his neck every morning to get him going.

 

[FizixFreak]

Chuck Norris has seven testicles often referred to as DRAGON BALLZ!

 

[nismaratwork]

Chuck Norris has seven testicles often referred to as DRAGON BALLZ!

Hmmmm... I'd hate to see the dragon appear! :rofl:

 

[FizixFreak]

Hmmmm... I'd hate to see the dragon appear! :rofl:

Dont worry about the dragon only worry about chuck Norris!

 

[zorro]

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.

This is ultimate!

 

[FizixFreak]

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.

Abdul Quadeer...,MASHA-ALLAH nice name you are either from south Asia or middle east am i right?