Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If I say the word "Lewinski" 42
times, and you say it 21 times,
and a third party says it 10.5
times, and a fourth party says it
5.25 times will anyone ever end up
saying it 0 times?

Lord Knows! We can only HOPE!

When you are turning around, how far must you go to accomplish being backwards, to the opposite of what had been forwards??

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When you are turning around, how far must you go to accomplish being backwards, to the opposite of what had been forwards??

The answer is: Don't move at all.
Instead, dangle yourself from a
swinging rope and wait for the
earth to turn beneath you.A plane leaves the ground in the
southern hemishphere headed for
a destination in the northern
hemisphere. The duration of the
flight is calculated to be five
hours based on initial distance.
Figuring in the coriolis effect,
how many small, cellophane bags
of peanuts could you stuff into
your cheeks during the flight?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
A plane leaves the ground in the southern hemishphere headed for a destination in the northern hemisphere. The duration of the flight is calculated to be five hours based on initial distance.
Figuring in the coriolis effect, how many small, cellophane bags of peanuts could you stuff into your cheeks during the flight?

Specifically, seventeen in the oral cheeks, (I know, I tried, just got back!) Zero in the other set.

How far must you travel to get "All the way there, and back"?

 

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Specifically, seventeen in the oral cheeks, (I know, I tried, just got back!) Zero in the other set.

How far must you travel to get "All the way there, and back"?

To infinity! And BEYOND!

Mr Owl, how many licks DOES it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Originally posted by Zantra
To infinity! And BEYOND!

Mr Owl, how many licks DOES it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

ONE!

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

It drives the flying saucer pilots
nuts and forces them to park in
corn fields.Do grays let's grays pilot flying
saucers drunk?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
It drives the flying saucer pilots
nuts and forces them to park in
corn fields.


Do grays let's grays pilot flying
saucers drunk?

They don't get drunk. They just lean to the right and then drive in circles. This is why we often observe the erratic flight patterns.

Where are their lips?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
Where are their lipsAngelina Jolie seems to have acquired all extra lips on earth
so she is the prime suspect.Do grays ever suffer from B.O.?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
Where are their lips


Angelina Jolie seems to have acquired all extra lips on earth
so she is the prime suspect.


Do grays ever suffer from B.O.?

Have you seen the size of those ships? Do you know how far it is to Alpha Centauri? DUH!

The question is, how do they go number three while in flight?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
The question is, how do they go number three while in flight?

One of the advantages of being from a super evolved race is that they can hold #3 indefinitly.
When skittles are in short supply
what is a grays favorite snack food?

 

[Sonty]

Cornflakes of course.

Do their women have PMS?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Sonty
Do their women have PMS?

Yes. It's why their men are all
looking for a new planet to set-
tle on?
Aside from human beings, what other pets do the grays enjoy
having?

 

[Sonty]

Scarecrows?

Or are the scarecrows just spies?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Sonty
Or are the scarecrows just spies?

The scarecrows are just straight
forward scarecrows. They scare the
crows away so they don't get suck-
ed into the zeropoint energy hyper
spacewarp drives of the crop
circle craft and jam the positron
turbines.If you were a gray and your posit-
tron turbine got jammed would you
take it to a quantuum mechanic?

 

[FZ+]

No. They just bodge it together with Superstring and Supertape
.
How many Grays does it take to tranfigurate an electromagnetic boson emissive silicate capsule?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by FZ+
How many Grays does it take to tranfigurate an electromagnetic boson emissive silicate capsule?

Telepathetically, seventeen, in person about forty eight.
(thats what they told me)

How do you communicate with greys, when they are scared white?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by FZ+
How many Grays does it take to tranfigurate an electromagnetic boson emissive silicate capsule?

Four:

One to whip up a batch of Ununquadium catalyst.
One to open the capsule.
One to pour the catalyst in.
And one to "burp" the lid.If you were a gray and wondered
where your navel was, would you
look in a copy of Gray's Anato-
my?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How do you communicate with greys, when they are scared white?

Invite them into your home for
some popcorn and an entertaining
video, say...Independence Day.If you were a gray and wondered where your navel was would you
consult "Gray's Anatomy?"

 

[carla]

Originally posted by Another God
Anything you want Buddy...

How can everyone else think of such good questions still?
(by good I mean stupid)

It's still going! Amazing!

Because everyone else can and I can't!

Could this thread be the great infinite nothing?

 

[Sonty]

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
If you were a gray and wondered where your navel was would you
consult "Gray's Anatomy?"

No. I would lay on my back, spit upwards and eventually the spit will end up in my navel.

At what angle should I spit?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Sonty
At what angle should I spit?

Hmmmm...Let's see.

Oh, I get it! You're trying to
sucker me into the old "At what
angle should I spit?" paradox.
Well, I'm not biting.If a dozen Grays knocked on your
door and said "Trick or Treat!"
but a quick glance at the calendar
informed you it was April Fools
Day, would you think it was an
April Fools joke, or would you
think that Grays don't know how
to read Earth calendars?

 

[Another God]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If a dozen Grays knocked on your
door and said "Trick or Treat!"
but a quick glance at the calendar
informed you it was April Fools
Day, would you think it was an
April Fools joke, or would you
think that Grays don't know how
to read Earth calendars?

I'd actually be wondering what the greys were doing out of water...You know they drown if they stop swimming.

Why do i spend so long trying to think of an interesting question, when in reality, I don't even care?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Another God
Why do i spend so long trying to think of an interesting question, when in reality, I don't even care?

Oh you wish you didn't care!If four and twenty grays were baked in a pie what would they
do when the pie was opened? (Grays
don't sing.)

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If four and twenty grays were baked in a pie what would they
do when the pie was opened? (Grays
don't sing.)

Jump up and exclaim "LOOK AT MY TAN MA!, WE'R BROWNS NOW!"

How many greys, turned brown, will fit into the Mother ship, when it is turtle egg laying season?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How many greys, turned brown, will fit into the Mother ship, when it is turtle egg laying season?

Since, as is well known, the body
mass of grays increases by pre-
isely .0020098654 % during turtle
egg laying season the answer ought
to be: "Fewer than usual." However
since no one has measured the body
mass of grays-turned-brown during
turtle egg laying season, the
answer must remain a matter of
debate.A highly polished metal ball has a
radius of 15cm. Where will it image the nose holes of a gray
positioned 23m from its surface?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
A highly polished metal ball has a
radius of 15cm. Where will it image the nose holes of a gray
positioned 23m from its surface?

What a 'silly question' EVERYONE KNOWS it would be side opposite, OYE!

In all of your years of experience with the greys, have you ever known them to demonstrate stupidity? (like me!)

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
In all of your years of experience with the greys, have you ever known them to demonstrate stupidity? (like me!)

Yes, consistantly. But in their
practice of consistant stupidity
they achieve an inverted form of
intelligence. This can be manipulated algebraically to make
them look as smart as Ivan Seeking
thinks they are.When grays are not abducting
humans for laughs, what is there
preferred entertainment?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
When grays are not abducting
humans for laughs, what is there
preferred entertainment?

Watching (stupid) Humans on television, what else!

When the beam of light comes down from the grey's ship, to pick you up, (for a laugh) to prevent its operational function, what do you use??

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When the beam of light comes down from the grey's ship, to pick you up, (for a laugh) to prevent its operational function, what do you use??

My own preferred method is the
emission of hydrogen sulphide
and methane gasses. This does not
actually interfere with the beam,
but it does obviate one's desir-
ability as an object of amusement.

Given the tremendous speeds of
their craft how much does a speeding ticket set them back
when they're pulled over back on
the homeworld?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked by Zoobyshoe
Given the tremendous speeds of
their craft how much does a speeding ticket set them back
when they're pulled over back on
the homeworld?

Well, it is a sliding scale, in their monetary funding, (of course) you pay 1/2 of the speed times the nearness of the home planet, for all tickets below C, and @ speeds in excess of C, you pay exponetial rates based upon a formula that integrates the number of times that you have been caught, the number of "Browns" on your ship, how many stupid humans you have brought along, subtended by the square root bulk modus of the gravitational force that you exerted upon the officers craft, to deccelrate, summed into the log of the quantity of fuel (In Newtons per meter Sq'd) you have left.

(About twenty bucks Canadian, that's about five bucks US?)

How much should you be charging greys, to refuel their craft?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How much should you be charging greys, to refuel their craft?

It's interesting you should ask because not two weeks ago several
Grays knocked on my door asking
for some Space Fuel. I said "Come
in and we'll discuss the price."
Well, one thing lead to another
and pretty soon we were eating
microwave popcorn and watching
"Independence Day" on the VCR, and
one of them broke out some Space
Vodka, and another had some Space
Weed and pretty soon they were all
wobbly and kind of vibrated when
you looked at them, and then I
went to make some more popcorn but
when I got back they had all kind
of shriveled into these things
that looked something like deflated, gray garbage bags, so
I picked one up, stuffed all the
others into him, and carried the
whole mess out into the dumpster
and I never found out how much to
charge them for Space fuel.Do Grays "get" the Blues?

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
It's interesting you should ask because not two weeks ago several
Grays knocked on my door asking
for some Space Fuel. I said "Come
in and we'll discuss the price."
Well, one thing lead to another
and pretty soon we were eating
microwave popcorn and watching
"Independence Day" on the VCR, and
one of them broke out some Space
Vodka, and another had some Space
Weed and pretty soon they were all
wobbly and kind of vibrated when
you looked at them, and then I
went to make some more popcorn but
when I got back they had all kind
of shriveled into these things
that looked something like deflated, gray garbage bags, so
I picked one up, stuffed all the
others into him, and carried the
whole mess out into the dumpster
and I never found out how much to
charge them for Space fuel.


Do Grays "get" the Blues?

Only when they hang out with BB (Big Bang) King. Otherwise, they're just confused by the blues.

How do you grow Space Weed?! (Zooby! I'm assuming that, since you didn't get around to pricing Space Fuel, that you also don't have a clue about the going rate for Space Weed. Did you inhale? )

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Tsunami How do you grow Space Weed?! (Zooby! I'm assuming that, since you didn't get around to pricing Space Fuel, that you also don't have a clue about the going rate for Space Weed. Did you inhale? )

Space weed grows by itself. The
hard part is convincing your
flying saucer commander to pull
over onto an asteroid so you can pick some.
I don't know the going rate but
when I inhaled the first puff I felt a sensation in my head like a thousand miniature versions of
Niels Bohr were singing: "De leg
bone connected to de Thigh bone...

How many miniature gray aliens
would a woodchuck upchuck if a
woodchuck chugged a bottle of
Space VodKa?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
How many miniature gray aliens would a woodchuck upchuck if a woodchuck chugged a bottle of Space VodKa?

Well the computational formula for such a consideration roughs out at, UGA = (mGaS^Svc)⁴/mGaEX^t₁ - t₂ to the log of l(a)unchtime.
Wherein,
UGA = Upchucked Grey Aliens
mGas = miniature Grey aliens Swallowed
Svc = Space Vodka consumed
mGaEX = miniature Grey aliens Excreted
and t₁/t₂ = time differential of dinners V excretions.

(probably about 42, but we'll wait till Mentat gets back for confirmation on that one!)

While replacing his "grav drive" (at my place) one night, a grey dropped his vaporisor gun, (so I now have that technology too) how much should the minimium bid be, on e-bay?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin
Parsons

While replacing his "grav drive" (at my place) one night, a grey dropped his vaporisor gun, (so I now have that technology too) how much should the minimium bid be, on e-bay?

At first I thought "My God! He's
rich!" but then I went to E-bay to
check the going rate for vaporizer
guns of grey origin only to find
they are not that rare. Depending
on condition people are setting
their minimum bids in the $3000.00
to $5000.00 range. So, it's nought
to sneer at but not what I would
have anticipated. (Greys, apparen-
tly are "butter-fingered".If you were a grey and dropped your vaporizer somewhere what
excuse would you make up to
appease the commander of your
flying disc?