Is alcohol necessary for successful dates?

[Pengwuino]

"Go get a drink" dates

I was reading in another forum about this guy complaining about something that I have recently being realizing as well. This guy and I both don't drink. This guy was complaining about whenever he wants to go on a date with a girl, the girl invariably says that they should go get a drink or to a bar. He made some very funny observations such as wondering if dating is such an awkward concept that alcohol must be introduced for it to be bearable. I brought up the idea that girls do it because a drink is much easier to run away from than dinner or a movie if they don't like the guy.

I wonder if most people realize that they're so dull that alcohol must be introduced in order to make them seem more interesting.

So how in the world do people get by meeting new people if they aren't down with just going to a bar or partying?

DISCUSS!

 

[turbo]

In college, I asked girls to hook up with me and attend recitals at the music department or to wander out to the stock-yards and feed the cows or sheep. Maybe I was a stupid cheap date, but I ended up with some very tight girlfriends, even if they were not my main love-interests.

 

[Astronuc]

So how in the world do people get by meeting new people if they aren't down with just going to a bar or partying?

DISCUSS!

Um - find others who don't drink. Many people don't drink alcohol. Both sets of my grandparents were tea totalers. My dad occasionally drank wine or beer, but it was rare.

On my first date with my wife, we went to a steakhouse. We each had iced tea, which is somewhat customary in the south. At the time, we had encountered each other opver a period of 6 months at the home of a mutual friend who used to do dinner parties. Some drank beer, others drank soda or tea.

Sometimes meeting dates in the middle of the day precludes drinking alcohol. If someone is drinking a cocktail in the middle of a workday, that's not a good sign (in the US). In Europe, I had beer or wine with lunch during a business meeting, but that's cultural.

Start out slow, and if one has an aversion to alcohol, get it out early.

 

[BobG]

I was reading in another forum about this guy complaining about something that I have recently being realizing as well. This guy and I both don't drink. This guy was complaining about whenever he wants to go on a date with a girl, the girl invariably says that they should go get a drink or to a bar. He made some very funny observations such as wondering if dating is such an awkward concept that alcohol must be introduced for it to be bearable. I brought up the idea that girls do it because a drink is much easier to run away from than dinner or a movie if they don't like the guy.

I wonder if most people realize that they're so dull that alcohol must be introduced in order to make them seem more interesting.

So how in the world do people get by meeting new people if they aren't down with just going to a bar or partying?

DISCUSS!

They go get coffee instead.

The best part of this is that the caffeine keeps you from falling asleep even when your date is incredibly dull.

If she's absolutely too dull to be tolerated even with coffee and she happens to be wearing sandals, you could always wander out to the stockyards with her in the dark. She'll want to go back home and wash her feet and it will save you the awkwardness of telling her you want her to leave.

Or at least I hope she'll leave after wandering through the stockyards in sandals. Oh, god, please leave. Please, please leave.

 

[Topher925]

Um - find others who don't drink. Many people don't drink alcohol.

You're not too in touch with the younger generations are you? I can count on one hand the number of girls I met in my entire life that don't drink. One of them I've already dated.

I don't drink either, and I always find it awkward having a date get smashed and myself be completely sober. I think a lot of people use alcohol as liquid courage as the main motivation to drink. Nothing you can really do about it but accept that's just the way most people are.

 

[Evo]

Welcome to Dating Chat, with your hostess with the mostess - Evo.

Most dating sites advise meeting a date at a predetermined, safe place. They also suggest that it's a place you've been before, if not, do a dry run and check it out first so you don't feel lost, have an idea of what's available, prices, where the bathroom is and how to make a quick exit, just in case.

Make it drinks, whether it's coffee, soda, smoothies, or alcohol, it's easier to make an excuse after one drink and leave (which is why you take your own car, cab, whatever). If it turns out the angels sing and you see fireworks, you can always move the date to a restaurant or a movie to make it last longer.

Make sure your friends/family know where you are, and if you decide to go somewhere else, send them a text to let them know.

 

[BobG]

If it turns out the angels sing and you see fireworks, you can always move the date to a restaurant or a movie to make it last longer.

If the angles sing, I'll pull out my trusty protactor and twang it in accompaniment.

I'll bet that will get me a second date.

 

[Evo]

If the angles sing, I'll pull out my trusty protactor and twang it in accompaniment.

I'll bet that will get me a second date.

Singing angles is probably more exciting for this crowd.

 

[Pengwuino]

Welcome to Dating Chat, with your hostess with the mostess - Evo.

Sigh.

BYE EVO!

 

[Evo]

Here you go Peng. Use this as a come on to women, I assure you that you will get a reaction. I don't know what, but no one could ignore this. "You sould message me if you'd like to wander out to the stock-yards and feed the cows or sheep".

Thank our survivalist dating expert "turbo one kenobi". for that one.

Perhaps we could have a "Chuck Norris dating pick up lines" thread?

 

[Evo]

Here you go Peng. Use this as a come on to women, I assure you that you will get a reaction. I don't know what, but no one could ignore this. "You sould message me if you'd like to wander out to the stock-yards and feed the cows or sheep".

Thank our survivalist dating expert "turbo one kenobi". for that one.

Perhaps we could have a "Chuck Norris dating pick up lines" thread?

Hey, I'm getting hits, but I'm too lazy to do anything.

 

[micromass]

Here you go Peng. Use this as a come on to women, I assure you that you will get a reaction. I don't know what, but no one could ignore this. "You sould message me if you'd like to wander out to the stock-yards and feed the cows or sheep".

*micromass is wondering if he should put this on his OKCupid profile*

 

[zoobyshoe]

I wonder if most people realize that they're so dull that alcohol must be introduced in order to make them seem more interesting.

You misunderstand the function of booze in the equation. As someone said, the superego is the one part of the psyche that is soluble in alcohol. Most people don't have the nerve to initiate a physical encounter unless they're feeling high and expansive from at least a couple under their belt.

 

[mege]

I think you have to view it like this: drinking is a hobby-like past time for many. Even social drinking to some is a no-no.

Replace drinking with 'going to the movies' and does the post sound any more odd? Or replace drinking with 'sky diving', 'rock climbing', 'cow tipping' or any other activity and treat it as such. I think the only thing that makes 'drinking' a situation is because it's pretty ubiquitous and far more common of an interest than anything above (except maybe movie going).

Also remember that many don't drink to get drunk. Some just enjoy the social atmosphere of a club/bar - the drinks are just the MO of the situation.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

So how in the world do people get by meeting new people if they aren't down with just going to a bar or partying?

They don't live in Fresno?

 

[JaWiB]

Replace drinking with 'going to the movies' and does the post sound any more odd? Or replace drinking with 'sky diving', 'rock climbing', 'cow tipping' or any other activity and treat it as such. I think the only thing that makes 'drinking' a situation is because it's pretty ubiquitous and far more common of an interest than anything above (except maybe movie going).

I've thought of rock climbing as a first date idea, but then I realized when you go rock climbing you're actually putting your life in your date's hands. Maybe try bouldering instead.

 

[Lichdar]

Coffee.

Otherwise, I don't drink and tend to avoid girls who drink more than very slightly.

 

[Pengwuino]

I don't drink coffee either by the way. I wonder if I can ask a girl out for a soda.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I don't drink coffee either by the way. I wonder if I can ask a girl out for a soda.

You don't have to dictate what she's going to order.

 

[Pengwuino]

You don't have to dictate what she's going to order.

I'm just trying to be chivalrous

 

[Astronuc]

You're not too in touch with the younger generations are you? I can count on one hand the number of girls I met in my entire life that don't drink. One of them I've already dated.

My kids are of the younger generation, and I used to be. It was the same then as now. My kids generally don't drink. Mostly they'll have wine with dinner.

When I was single, along time ago, it would never occur to me to go to a bar with a date or go looking for a date. I preferred quieter places where I could hear the other person talk.

Meeting over lunch or for coffee/tea/smoothies would be a good idea.

I don't drink either, and I always find it awkward having a date get smashed and myself be completely sober. I think a lot of people use alcohol as liquid courage as the main motivation to drink. Nothing you can really do about it but accept that's just the way most people are.

In that case, I'd drop her off safely at her place and leave. No point in pursuing a close relationship (co-dependence) with someone who gets smashed.

 

[turbo]

I don't know what, but no one could ignore this. "You sould message me if you'd like to wander out to the stock-yards and feed the cows or sheep".

Thank our survivalist dating expert "turbo one kenobi". for that one.

When I was first getting to know my Susan Anton-like GF (compared to my Dudley Moore stature) I suggested that we each grab an extra apple after supper at the food-hall and visit the stock-yards. The space between the sheep pen and the cow-pasture was very narrow, with just thin wire fencing. When the cows noticed us, they sensed treats and came thundering toward us, screeching to a halt only inches away from the fence, panting and blowing green spit everywhere. Once she realized that we were not going to be trampled, my friend let go of me and relaxed a bit (it was a death-grip, but one that I thoroughly enjoyed). I bit the apples into big chunks so we could feed them to the cows. As we left the cows, she hugged me and said "I've never had so much fun!" Sheer terror does that to some, I guess.

You don't have to "go get a drink" to get to know someone a bit better. In fact, I'd put bars and taverns pretty low on the list of good places to get to know someone better.

 

[blade123]

Go get coffee. If you don't like coffee, coffee shops have tea, water, non-coffee drinks.

I honestly think that opinions on psychoactive substances is a huge factor with a significant other. Very rarely do you see a sober person in a relationship date a huge drinker/stoner/tripper and both be happy.

If you don't drink, and someone else likes it so much that they do it every time they go on a first date, it's probably best to avoid going that route.

 

[nucleargirl]

:) I don't like drink-bar-dates either! you can't talk properly and its always smoky and manky and a bit gross in bars... well the ones I've been to anyway. and, if it does work out, I always think: we met over alcohol, and that's sets a shadow over the rest of the relationship for me!
I don't like meal-first-dates either... you don't know each other well enough to eat in close proximity! embarassing! and can't talk and eat at same time, awkward...
I like botanic garden dates! that was my first one with this person, and its great! there's loads to talk about cos you're going to be like 'come look at this!', 'I like this one!' etc. and its relaxing walking around in plants, and just nice! and I recommend bringing ice cream as well.

 

[turbo]

:) I don't like drink-bar-dates either! you can't talk properly and its always smoky and manky and a bit gross in bars... well the ones I've been to anyway. and, if it does work out, I always think: we met over alcohol, and that's sets a shadow over the rest of the relationship for me!
I don't like meal-first-dates either... you don't know each other well enough to eat in close proximity! embarassing! and can't talk and eat at same time, awkward...
I like botanic garden dates! that was my first one with this person, and its great! there's loads to talk about cos you're going to be like 'come look at this!', 'I like this one!' etc. and its relaxing walking around in plants, and just nice! and I recommend bringing ice cream as well.

The organist in my college band was also the top horticultural student, and he got to live in the apartment in the brick building attached to the greenhouse. That was a great place to take dates! I could hang back while my band-mate extolled the virtues of one flower over another for northern climates, or explained why some orchids seemed to bloom profusely while others were recalcitrant (his terms!). The greenhouse wasn't "open" but it sure was to me and whomever I wanted to bring with me, and my organist loved to talk about his work, so he was a perfect tour-guide.

BTW, he played a Hammond C-3 with a Leslie, and whenever we played (Friday or Saturday frat parties) we made sure that the brothers would pick up that organ and put it into the van, get it to the gig, and get it back to his apartment the day after (Don't want to entrust the care of a $$$$ instrument to the gentle ministrations of some college boys that are stoned or drunk!) The rest of us could grab our guitars, amps, mics, etc, and bail out at the end of the evening, but that Hammond console organ was just too much!