Turns out there should be 9 equation, but 6 of them are 0.
Rge matris elements are, movement of an atom in x directio, what is the restoring force in x-direction.
This is the same for xy,xz,yx,yy,yz,zx,zy,zz.
xx, yy, zz are down the diagonal of the matrix. the others would be in there...