Collection of Lame Jokes

[DaveC426913]

 

[davenn]

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 371331​

I've told this one before, but there's a Looney Tunes where Yosemite Sam has had enough of Bugs Bunny's antics and demands he draw his gun. Bugs draws his gun. On a piece of paper. Then shoots Sam with it, cartoon physics being what it is.

Just to top it off, the episode is called "Hare trigger".

 

[jtbell]

Did you hear about the guy who got hit by a butcher's truck that was carrying a load of steaks?

He was T-boned.

 

[davenn]

 

[BillTre]

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[berkeman]

 

[jtbell]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 371467

Ribbit.

 

[jtbell]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 371613

Phone 'em up and give 'em a pizza your mind.

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[jtbell]

I guess these geese can read.

 

[wrobel]

Text:

1) Let's solve a physics problem. There is a block hung on a string. A bullet shoots straight through the block and loses half of its speed...

2) Do you have any tasks about a little squirrel and nuts, please?

3) Sure! There is a little squirrel hung on a string...


ps No squirrels were injured in the making of this story

 

[jtbell]

 

[berkeman]

 

[WWGD]

McDonald's unveiled a new product in Spain, the Mc Arena. It's full of alegría y cosa buena.

 

[davenn]

 

[jtbell]

Just bop the button with your nose, Dino.

 

[WWGD]

Just bop the button with your nose, Dino.

Dino might.

 

[jtbell]

Mwah - hah - ha!

 

[nsaspook]

Why does New York have all the lawyers and New Jersey the toxic waste dumps?
New Jersey had first choice.

 

[sbrothy]

Why does New York have all the lawyers and New Jersey the toxic waste dumps?
New Jersey had first choice.

Are you sure it's like that? Even for someone living in Denmark I know New Jersey is as popular as the Dollar coin!

 

[jtbell]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 371976

My favourite from that series was "Make me a hamburger Ernie". Ernie comes out from behind the counter with a large pencil, erases the other guy's midsection, and redraws it as a hamburger.