Collection of Lame Jokes

  • #1

Main Question or Discussion Point

Lamest joke you know ... :zzz:
 

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  • #2
jimmy p
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My dad was a pistol, that makes me a son of a gun...
 
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  • #3
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A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill."
 
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  • #4
jimmy p
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A man walks into a bar... ouch
 
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  • #5
arildno
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-Watch out for the vacuum cleaner!
-What vacuuuuuuuuuuu.......
 
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  • #6
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?.....


......a stick
 
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  • #7
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Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

Right where you left it.
 
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  • #8
Ivan Seeking
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The first dirty joke that my parents told me: A white horse fell in the mud.

Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don't work. :rofl:
 
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  • #9
enigma
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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender takes one look at it and asks: "So, why the long face?"
 
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  • #10
enigma said:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender takes one look at it and asks: "So, why the long face?"
:rofl: ...sorry. This joke doesn't qualify to be in this thread as in my opinion it is funny :biggrin:
 
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  • #11
enigma
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Oh, I think it's hilarious too...

But the groan-to-laugh ratio is up around 90% when I tell it.
 
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  • #12
Hurkyl
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Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?
 
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  • #13
Maaaan! LOL. I'm a sucker for lame jokes! Hurkyl - u deserved a prize 4 urs ;D
 
  • #14
Hurkyl
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I generally dislike that type of humor, but this one is just too good to ignore. :smile:
 
  • #15
jimmy p
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What is green, has 8 legs and will kill you if it falls from a tree??

A snooker table.
 
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  • #16
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...terrible...

When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a driveway! :yuck:
 
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  • #17
Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was stapled to Sid Vicious.
 
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  • #18
Njorl
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I dated a girl who was a magician. She put her hand on my lap and I turned into a motel!
 
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  • #19
jimmy p
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What is long, brown and runs around the garden??

A fence.
 
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  • #20
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Why do women wear make up and perfume?








Because they're Ugly and Smelly.
 
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  • #21
Math Is Hard
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A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender points to a sign behind the bar that says NO STRINGS ALLOWED. Dejectedly, the piece of string leaves the bar... but then he has an idea. He ruffles out his edges a little bit and ties himself into a bow. Then he walks back into the bar, hops up on the barstool, and again orders a beverage. The bartender is deceived by the string's appearance only for a moment.
"hey....what are you doing back in here?" says the bartender. "You're that piece of string aren't you?"

"No Sir!" says the string, "I'm a frayed knot!"

:rofl:
 
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  • #22
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What's black and white and has wheels?

a zebra! and i lied about the wheels
 
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  • #23
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Q: Which car is the biggest car A: The big car
 
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  • #24
Where will i b @ today? - for those people who want to know - yes u people -

I am going to my exam @ 2.30 but i will go out @ 2. I will afterwards head to the fees department to get the crap sorted out...or i might come straight home. i am stil undecided. my exam lasts 2 hours so it ends @ 4.30 (i think-need to chek this). I might come out earlier than that because I might not b able to do anymore. Hope ur satisfied. i will go via harford street n my exam is in BSM 115.
 
  • #25
BoulderHead
A man walks into a bar and proclaims;
I’m feeling mean enough tonight to whip a bear!
Following that, a burly giant of a man walks over to him and asks;
and just what kind of a bear would that be?
The first man uses his thumb and forefinger to illustrate his point as he responds;
a liiiiitle bitty bear!
 

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