Collection of Lame Jokes

Lamest joke you know ... :zzz:


Science Advisor
Homework Helper
Gold Member
Dearly Missed
-Watch out for the vacuum cleaner!
-What vacuuuuuuuuuuu.......

Ivan Seeking

Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
The first dirty joke that my parents told me: A white horse fell in the mud.

Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don't work. :rofl:


Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender takes one look at it and asks: "So, why the long face?"
enigma said:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender takes one look at it and asks: "So, why the long face?"
:rofl: ...sorry. This joke doesn't qualify to be in this thread as in my opinion it is funny :biggrin:


Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
Oh, I think it's hilarious too...

But the groan-to-laugh ratio is up around 90% when I tell it.
Maaaan! LOL. I'm a sucker for lame jokes! Hurkyl - u deserved a prize 4 urs ;D


Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
I generally dislike that type of humor, but this one is just too good to ignore. :smile:

When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a driveway! :yuck:
Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was stapled to Sid Vicious.
Why do women wear make up and perfume?

Because they're Ugly and Smelly.

Math Is Hard

Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender points to a sign behind the bar that says NO STRINGS ALLOWED. Dejectedly, the piece of string leaves the bar... but then he has an idea. He ruffles out his edges a little bit and ties himself into a bow. Then he walks back into the bar, hops up on the barstool, and again orders a beverage. The bartender is deceived by the string's appearance only for a moment.
"hey....what are you doing back in here?" says the bartender. "You're that piece of string aren't you?"

"No Sir!" says the string, "I'm a frayed knot!"

What's black and white and has wheels?

a zebra! and i lied about the wheels
Q: Which car is the biggest car A: The big car
Where will i b @ today? - for those people who want to know - yes u people -

I am going to my exam @ 2.30 but i will go out @ 2. I will afterwards head to the fees department to get the crap sorted out...or i might come straight home. i am stil undecided. my exam lasts 2 hours so it ends @ 4.30 (i think-need to chek this). I might come out earlier than that because I might not b able to do anymore. Hope ur satisfied. i will go via harford street n my exam is in BSM 115.


A man walks into a bar and proclaims;
I’m feeling mean enough tonight to whip a bear!
Following that, a burly giant of a man walks over to him and asks;
and just what kind of a bear would that be?
The first man uses his thumb and forefinger to illustrate his point as he responds;
a liiiiitle bitty bear!

Want to reply to this thread?

"Collection of Lame Jokes" You must log in or register to reply here.

Physics Forums Values

We Value Quality
• Topics based on mainstream science
• Proper English grammar and spelling
We Value Civility
• Positive and compassionate attitudes
• Patience while debating
We Value Productivity
• Disciplined to remain on-topic
• Recognition of own weaknesses
• Solo and co-op problem solving

Hot Threads