Collection of Lame Jokes

[Borg]

Nothing to see here.

 

[WWGD]

At the supermarket.
Cashier: " You're a little short".
Me: " You're a little fat".
...Then realizing what she meant and apologizing. .

 

[jtbell]

But are they full?

 

[jtbell]

In Kent, England:

I had to look it up in Google Maps, and sure enough...

 

[jtbell]

This triggered a memory:

“You alarm me!' said the King. 'I feel faint—Give me a ham sandwich!'

On which the Messenger, to Alice's great amusement, opened a bag that hung round his neck, and handed a sandwich to the King, who devoured it greedily.

'Another sandwich!' said the King.

'There's nothing but hay left now,' the Messenger said, peeping into the bag.

'Hay, then,' the King murmured in a faint whisper.

Alice was glad to see that it revived him a good deal. 'There's nothing like eating hay when you're faint,' he remarked to her, as he munched away.

'I should think throwing cold water over you would be better,' Alice suggested: 'or some sal-volatile.'

'I didn't say there was nothing better,' the King replied. 'I said there was nothing like it.' Which Alice did not venture to deny.”

-- Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass

 

[Ibix]

Private Investi-gator

 

[WWGD]

I walked directly into a woman just exiting a flower shop with a large bouquet. I made a fake teary face and said " Oh, you remembered!?!?"and just walked away. Wonder how she took it.

 

[WWGD]

In Kent, England:

View attachment 373987

I had to look it up in Google Maps, and sure enough...

View attachment 373988

Amazing if they both were in County Mayo.

 

[WWGD]

Stunning connection found by Spanish scientists between sea quakes and cereal: " A Tsunami es una Gran Ola" ( Granola).

 

[WWGD]

I thought my neighbor's ceremony to rid the building was nonsense until the landlord moved out permanently the next day.

 

[symbolipoint]

Stunning connection found by Spanish scientists between sea quakes and cereal: " A Tsunami es una Gran Ola" ( Granola).

Thanks for the clarification but I still do not understand. Something I should not worry about. WAIT! Now I understand part of it: Great Wave! (It finally came to me as I was writing, "not understand").

 

[WWGD]

Thanks for the clarification but I still do not understand. Something I should not worry about. WAIT! Now I understand part of it: Great Wave! (It finally came to me as I was writing, "not understand").

Got it. Enjoy the lameness ;).

 

[jtbell]

No help needed from ACME, apparently.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[berkeman]

 

[WWGD]

Saw a little book on sale " Love is letti g go of Fear ". Thought off having Hannibal Lechter writing his own version: " Love is letting go of the Ear".

 

[jtbell]

I guess in Sweden, you need to be careful what you eat before you drive.

 

[Swamp Thing]

"hinder" lol

 

[Filip Larsen]

I guess in Sweden, you need to be careful what you eat before you drive.

In Denmark some of the bulky lifts are declared "Gods elevator" and often includes a warning light saying "I fart".

 

[jtbell]

In Denmark some of the bulky lifts are declared "Gods elevator"

I've seen "Gods expedition" for truck/freight companies (for which the trendy term in the US is "logistics companies").

 

[Svein]

In Swedish "fart" means "speed". In Danish "gods elevator" means "freight elevator". In addition, "gods expedition" means "freight expedition".

 

[jtbell]

 

[DennisN]