Collection of Lame Jokes

[Jodo]

As a physicist, I find myself working with engineers quite often. I used to have a hard time until I figured out what we have in common. We both wish we were physicists."

 

[Ibix]

What is blue and smells like red paint?

Red paint moving very fast towards you.

Think I've told this one before, but a friend claims to have seen a bumper sticker in the carpark at CERN that said

If this sticker appears blue you are driving too fast

Edit: knew I'd posted it before.

 

[Orodruin]

Einstein shouting out of a train window to a railroad worker:
”Excuse me, young man! Does Hamburg stop at this train?”

 

[strangerep]

View attachment 303954

I actually tried this starting a couple of years ago, by resuming my teenage interest in chess. In the first tournament I attempted, my heart nearly gave out from the stress.

It seems I can't win (in life nor at chess).

 

[strangerep]

As a physicist, I find myself working with engineers quite often. I used to have a hard time until I figured out what we have in common. We both wish we were physicists."

Experimental or theoretical?

Istm that theoretical engineering overlaps quite a bit with theoretical physics.

 

[Baluncore]

Where the precise mathematics and joules of physics, interface with the $ of economics, and the compromises of commerce, you will find an isolation transformer. That victim, abused from both sides, is called an engineer.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jtbell]

Utah's Great Salt Lake has been shrinking so much, I hear it's going to be renamed the Great Salt Lick.

 

[BillTre]

Utah's Great Salt Lake has the potential to become a large source of toxic dust for the Salt Lake city area if enough of it becomes a salt flat. It has a lot of toxic runoff from old mining operations in the area.

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

God was talking to Adam when Adam noticed a guy off in the distance and asked God who that was. God said, ah that's Keith Richards. He was here when I got here.

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[phinds]

 

[DrGreg]

There are 3 kinds of people -- those who can count and those who can't.
________________

There are 10 kinds of people -- those who understand binary and those who don't.
_______________

There are II kinds of people -- those who understand roman numerals and those who don't.

 

[Ibix]

There are two kinds of people: (1) those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Baluncore]

I believe that is actually an early 4G version. The easiest way to identify the difference is to note that the chemtrails from the latest 5G systems, are now made invisible by the addition of fluoride.

 

[Ibix]

From an earlier post with a similar theme, I believe they don't actually fly but are carried by swarms of murder hornets.

 

[Orodruin]

carried by swarms of murder hornets.

… genetically modified of course.

 

[phinds]

 

[DennisN]

View attachment 304169

This reminded me of a very funny page I found when I was searching the net for "most hated fonts". There are some hilarious quotes on that page:

https://www.prepressure.com/fonts/interesting/most-hated

e.g.

Comic Sans: “It’s not that it’s a terrible font – it’s rather that it suits non-designers far better than those with a sense of the aesthetic would like.”

Arial: "If you’re working in a medium where you’re not restricted to certain fonts, and you’re considering using Arial – don’t.”

Times New Roman: "I cannot look at Times New Roman without automatically assuming that it is a placeholder font, waiting to be replaced by something appropriate for the text.“

Brush Script: "Brush Script is a useful tool for identifying morons. It is the typeface equivalent of the backward-worn baseball cap.”

 

[pinball1970]

This reminded of a very funny page I found when I was searching the net for "most hated fonts". There are some hilarious quotes on that page:

https://www.prepressure.com/fonts/interesting/most-hated

e.g.

Comic Sans: “It’s not that it’s a terrible font – it’s rather that it suits non-designers far better than those with a sense of the aesthetic would like.”

Arial: "If you’re working in a medium where you’re not restricted to certain fonts, and you’re considering using Arial – don’t.”

Times New Roman: "I cannot look at Times New Roman without automatically assuming that it is a placeholder font, waiting to be replaced by something appropriate for the text.“

Brush Script: "Brush Script is a useful tool for identifying morons. It is the typeface equivalent of the backward-worn baseball cap.”

It's so weird the things that get under one's skin.

Comic sans. Anyone over the age of 12 who uses it is either childish, stupid or thinks they are funny when everyone just thinks they are annoying.

I DO use Arial though, 11. It's innocuous enough. What am I missing?

 

[DennisN]

I DO use Arial though, 11. It's innocuous enough. What am I missing?

I won't argue with you. I still like Arial myself.

 

[Bandersnatch]

Comic sans. Anyone over the age of 12 who uses it is either childish, stupid or thinks they are funny when everyone just thinks they are annoying.

How rude.

 

[pinball1970]

How rude.

Do you have different experience? If you have a positive experience then please share.
EDIT. This is a font we are discussing, kind of tongue in cheek. I probably have friends who use Comic sans. Fine people, educated, professional. Just at weekends though possibly. Not a regular thing. Can stop any time.

 

[Borg]

Font style does matter.