Collection of Lame Jokes

[jtbell]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[jtbell]

You say po-tah-to, I say po-tay-to, he says...

 

[jtbell]

...and she says po-tattoo.

 

[davenn]

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 373749

Only partly true.

This is astronomer humour:

 

[WWGD]

Maybe I didn't look too sharp by saying ' Logic ' is the name of one of Bill Gates' sons.

 

[WWGD]

New display at the Ohio museum of Natural Science: Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks.

 

[WWGD]

I had an idea for a better spell check until the Humane Society sued me for using 1,000 monkeys trained to use typewriters to produce a testing dataset. Edit: Looking for datasets to test a spellcheck method vs existing ones.
Somewhat related:
Seemed interesting, most often searched strings In the US, elsewhere, in Google:

https://backlinko.com/google-searches

 

[jtbell]

Last week at the furniture factory, one of the workers fell into the upholstery machine.

The good news is that he's now fully recovered.

 

[Swamp Thing]

"There's no point, you're just preaching to the void!"

 

[jtbell]

I wonder if this is near Marfa, Texas.

 

[jtbell]

What does a retired lawyer do for a second career?

Open an art gallery!

(seen in a mall near Atlanta today)

 

[Ibix]

"I'm moving house today."

"Be careful, I hear those are heavy."

"It's ok, I live in a lighthouse."

 

[Swamp Thing]

"I'm moving house today."

"Be careful, I hear those are heavy."

"It's ok, I live in a lighthouse."

"It's OK, I'm Amish"

 

[Borg]

It's not the same scale of course but I once convinced a group of people that we didn't need a tow truck to lift the back of a car out of a ditch. It took longer to convince them that it would work than it did to get the car out.

 

[davenn]

 

[jtbell]

"Can you call back? I'm on my other shoe."

 

[jtbell]

 

[Swamp Thing]

The joke begins at around 04:13. The video is Adolphe Sax, the inventor of the saxophone.







I think you will agree that, even if you are not sure if the world really needs yet another joke about the sax, this one is pretty ok.

 

[WWGD]

Age of the Earth: 4.5 billion and 3 years. 3 years ago , they told me it's age was 4.5 Billion years.

 

[jtbell]

News flash: Wile E. Coyote is fed up with being blown up, flattened, etc.

He's suing ACME!

 

[jtbell]

 

[davenn]

News flash: Wile E. Coyote is fed up with being blown up, flattened, etc.

He's suing ACME!

not before time :) hahaha

 

[nsaspook]

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 373806

I wonder if this is near Marfa, Texas.

María? Is that a written lithp( lisp)?

 

[WWGD]

It seems in 2021, dogs were examined for Covid. After clearing them, WHO let the dogs out.

 

[DaveC426913]

Who?
WHO
Who?
WHO!

 

[davenn]