Best Pickup Lines: Two Funny Ones to Try

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The discussion revolves around the use of pickup lines in bars, with participants sharing their experiences and opinions on what works and what doesn't. Two particularly bad pickup lines are highlighted: one about commitment and self-change, and another referencing a research grant for a two-day study on finding a woman's g-spot. Many contributors express disdain for traditional compliments like "You have beautiful eyes," deeming them outdated and ineffective. Instead, they advocate for more overtly sexual or humorous approaches, arguing that confidence and creativity are key to successful interactions. The conversation also touches on the broader social dynamics of bars, with some participants criticizing the behavior of both men and women in these settings. Ultimately, the thread showcases a mix of humor and frustration regarding the art of flirting and the challenges of meeting potential partners in nightlife environments.
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There's nothing like going to the bar and hitting on some random girls with the worst pickup line ever to be conceived by man. I've heard some good ones over the years but these two are my favorites;

"Hey there! You know, my two favorite things are commitment and changing myself."

and for the science nerd...

"I just received a large research grant for a two day experimental study to find your g-spot."

Anyone else got any?
 
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wow...that's lame and sad.
 


Get thi coart tha's pulled
 


Evo said:
This has been done several times already.
Bummer. Didn't know. I'll just let it die since I can't figure out how to lock a thread.
 


Topher925 said:
Anyone else got any?

"Don't scream..."


Stolen from a very funny, very evil friend of mine.
 


Topher925 said:
Bummer. Didn't know. I'll just let it die since I can't figure out how to lock a thread.
There are always new bad lines to be added. :biggrin:
 


Topher, the most effective line ever is the one least likely to raise skepticism in the mind of the recipient AND the least overtly sexual.

"Wow. You have the most beautiful eyes..."

I'm an old fart, so I KNOW this one is an ice-breaker! Don't abuse the power that I have granted you.
 


turbo-1 said:
Topher, the most effective line ever is the one least likely to raise skepticism in the mind of the recipient AND the least overtly sexual.

"Wow. You have the most beautiful eyes..."

I'm an old fart, so I KNOW this one is an ice-breaker! Don't abuse the power that I have granted you.

hahaha...oh how times have changed. I say the MOST overtly sexual thing I can say. And I mean overt.

No offense, but saying 'you have the most beautiful eyes' is lame.

Please, don't anyone ever use that line ever. EVER!
 
  • #10


Cyrus said:
hahaha...oh how times have changed. I say the MOST overtly sexual thing I can say. And I mean overt.
You don't want to die a bachelor, do you? Scoring is one thing - getting in tight with a potential mate is another thing entirely.
 
  • #11


turbo-1 said:
You don't want to die a bachelor, do you? Scoring is one thing - getting in tight with a potential mate is another thing entirely.

What's that got to do with anything?

Let me translate 'you have the most beautiful eyes' for you in modern day language.

Hi! My name is turbo-1! I want to have sex with you. I think you look purdy. I'm going to use a korny line from 30 years ago because I have no personality! What's that? You're friend arrived and you have to go now? ...I'll wait here incase you guys come back! ......20 mins later (she never comes back).

Yeahhhhhhhh....seriously. NEVER EVER EVER^EVER use that line anymore.

It lacks any confidence or creativity. It's something I'd expect to hear from the most boring person in the world if I took them to a bar. It's creepy.



My best advice though: Don't go to a bar looking for a 'potential mate to be tight with'. Although, sharing STD's probably brings people closer together?
 
  • #12


If a guy can honestly say that line, and really know what your eyes look like, now that's a plus. But...it doesn't work too often, the line is too old, we have caught on...
 
  • #13


Cyrus said:
What's that got to do with anything?

Let me translate 'you have the most beautiful eyes' for you in modern day language.

Hi! My name is turbo-1! I want to have sex with you. I think you look purdy. I'm going to use a korny line from 30 years ago because I have no personality! What's that? You're friend arrived and you have to go now? ...I'll wait here incase you guys come back! ......20 mins later (she never comes back).

Yeahhhhhhhh....seriously. NEVER EVER EVER^EVER use that line anymore.

It lacks any confidence or creativity. It's something I'd expect to hear from the most boring person in the world if I took them to a bar. It's creepy.



My best advice though: Don't go to a bar looking for a 'potential mate to be tight with'. Although, sharing STD's probably brings people closer together?
Cy, listen to your elders. Young ladies are often into insecurity and self-criticism when they are in public, even when they are posing and acting hot. When you say "You have beautiful eyes", you take her to a place where the size of her chest and the shapeliness of her butt, and the length of her legs, and the glory of her hair-do is out of play. Ask Evo, Moonie, and the other sisters. If a guy seems interested in a lady and offers such an innocuous (though heart-felt) little compliment, she WILL care. If you want, I'll start a PF lady's poll to see whether they want an overtly sexist come-on, or a nice innocuous compliment that indicates interest. Want to bet where they will come down?
 
  • #14


mcknia07 said:
If a guy can honestly say that line, and really know what your eyes look like, now that's a plus. But...it doesn't work too often, the line is too old, we have caught on...

The only time you can get away with that line is if you are in a nice restaurant with a girl and your waiting for your food talking and you hold her hand and tell her that.

If you say that in a BAR she is going to roll her eyes and walk away.
 
  • #15


turbo-1 said:
Cy, listen to your elders. Young ladies are often into insecurity and self-criticism when they are in public, even when they are posing and acting hot. When you say "You have beautiful eyes", you take her to a place where the size of her chest and the shapeliness of her butt, and the length of her legs, and the glory of her hair-do is out of play. Ask Evo, Moonie, and the other sisters. If a guy seems interested in a lady and offers such an innocuous (though heart-felt) little compliment, she WILL care. If you want, I'll start a PF lady's poll to see whether they want an overtly sexist come-on, or a nice innocuous compliment that indicates interest. Want to bet where they will come down?

Tell you what. Let's go to a bar/club and use your line and watch us get shot down, one after another after another after another after another after another ....aftear another after another.

I'm sorry, but you're flat out wrong. This isn't 1970s. I don't know what 'insecurity' had to do with anything either. You're making false arguments.
 
  • #16


Cyrus said:
The only time you can get away with that line is if you are in a nice restaurant with a girl and your waiting for your food talking and you hold her hand and tell her that.

If you say that in a BAR she is going to roll her eyes and walk away.

That's true, it all kinda does matter where the location is...
 
  • #17


turbo, that line didn't even work 30 years ago. "you have the most beautiful eyes", "you have the most sensuous lips", "you have the most beautiful smile", etc... They don't work.
 
  • #18


Evo said:
turbo, that line didn't even work 30 years ago. "you have the most beautiful eyes", "you have the most sensuous lips", "you have the most beautiful smile", etc... They don't work.

I prefer you have nice boobs. Either they laugh and I get to touch them, or they roll their eyes. Hell if I care one way or another.
 
  • #19


Cyrus said:
I prefer you have nice boobs. Either the laugh and I get to touch them, or they roll their eyes. Hell if I care one way or another.

And how often have you actually got a girl that way?? lol
 
  • #20


Can someone please, please just change the title..."You're" to "Your"...oh god, please...?
 
  • #21


lisab said:
Can someone please, please just change the title..."You're" to "Your"...oh god, please...?

Ahahahah!
 
  • #22


lisab said:
Can someone please, please just change the title..."You're" to "Your"...oh god, please...?
Hey babe - 'I know where to put my apostrophies'?
 
  • #23


mcknia07 said:
And how often have you actually got a girl that way?? lol

Works every time. (Ok, not every time. Probably >75%) See, I'm fun, playful and a flirt when I say it. So girls are very comfortable around me in a bar. I told one girl they looked fake so I took out my wallet and put a dollar between them and said here, this will help pay for it. She laughed at me and said take it out with your mouth.

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe, you have nice eyes. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...(CREEPYYYY) Don't think I'll be saying that any time soon...but thanks anyways.
 
  • #24


lisab said:
Can someone please, please just change the title..."You're" to "Your"...oh god, please...?
You're command of English is really attractive?
 
  • #25
  • #26


turbo-1 said:
You're command of English is really attractive?

...ack...
 
  • #27


BobG said:
Those were all for bad pick-up lines. This thread is for good ones.

Let's spin counter-clockwise, thereby robbing the Earth of some of its angular momentum and slowing it's rotation, and making our night together last just a little bit longer.

I feel attracted but a little dizzy. Maybe it's just the Jaegermeister.
 
  • #28


Evo said:
turbo, that line didn't even work 30 years ago. "you have the most beautiful eyes", "you have the most sensuous lips", "you have the most beautiful smile", etc... They don't work.
They might not have worked on you, but they worked. Not to score, but to get closer to a lady that you will see again in the future, and maybe get together.

A whole lot more genteel and "couth" than buying a lady a drink after complimenting her rack and asking how she likes her eggs cooked.
 
  • #29


turbo-1 said:
They might not have worked on you, but they worked. Not to score, but to get closer to a lady that you will see again in the future, and maybe get together.

A whole lot more genteel and "couth" than buying a lady a drink after complimenting her rack and asking how she likes her eggs cooked.

AHAHAHAh, buy her a drink. Second wrong piece of advice so far.



Note: Have any of you read "Surely you must be joking Mr. Feynman?"

Did you read any of the things he said to women? Like when he took them out and before they left the car for their date he would say "So, are you going to have sex with me tonight or not?"

You have purdy eyes are for suckers. Even Feynman knew that much. Wise up.

A friend of a friend went out to the bar with us once. He's from a small town like you Turbo. He was talking to this girl and he said let me buy you a drink. He waited in line at the bar (and the line is quite big) and by the time he got the drinks she was gone. He held on to that drink all night looking for her to give it to her. What an IDIOT. I told him give me that drink I am going to drink it. But he was like nooooooooooo and took it back too fast. I was seriously going to chug it infront of his face for being so stupid and pay him $2 in his hand and say never do that crap again infront of me.
 
  • #30


"My FICO score is 850 and I drive a Porsche. Would you like to go for some champagne on my yacht?"

That line .. yea.. that very line.. if all elements are true, it works :biggrin:
 
  • #31


BobG said:
Those were all for bad pick-up lines. This thread is for good ones.

Let's spin counter-clockwise, thereby robbing the Earth of some of its angular momentum and slowing it's rotation, and making our night together last just a little bit longer.

Math Is Hard said:
I feel attracted but a little dizzy. Maybe it's just the Jaegermeister.

If you look into my eyes while we spin, you won't feel so dizzy.

(This is true! This is a trick learned from contra dancing. If you look into your partners eyes while dancing, you won't feel so dizzy and will be less likely to puke - except adding the last part wouldn't be such a great pick-up line.)
 
  • #32


Cyrus said:
You have purdy eyes are for suckers. Even Feynman knew that much. Wise up.
Feynman was an idealist and he watched his first wife die of tuberculosis. the stories that he spun of later associations ring hollow. He was a lonely man.
 
  • #33


turbo-1 said:
Feynman was an idealist and he watched his first wife die of tuberculosis. the stories that he spun of later associations ring hollow. He was a lonely man.

His associations seemed pretty colorful and varied to me. He was busy having fun experience all walks of life, and going all around the world. To say they 'ring hollow' is simply your own judgment.
 
  • #34


turbo-1 said:
asking how she likes her eggs cooked.

I like my eggs unfertilized

haha this guy knows how to pick up a chick
 
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  • #35


turbo-1 said:
They might not have worked on you, but they worked. Not to score, but to get closer to a lady that you will see again in the future, and maybe get together.
We're talking about pick-up lines at a bar. That line won't work in a bar.

I know I've heard that line hundreds of times. The only time I remember was sitting with my (now ex) husband on the couch. We had been married about 6 years, no special occasion. He just suddenly blurted out "you have the most incredibly beautiful eyes". It might have been the first day in 6 years my allergies weren't bothering me. Who knows? But THAT I remember. I decided to divorce him shortly after that.
 
  • #36


cronxeh said:
"My FICO score is 850 and I drive a Porsche. Would you like to go for some champagne on my yacht?"

That line .. yea.. that very line.. if all elements are true, it works :biggrin:

Allow me to show you the flaw in that line. (a) You're in a really upscale bar. Guess what, you and almost every other guy in there has a Porsche and yacht. Woop-de-do. (b) you're not in an upscale bar, in which case why are you wasting your time scraping the bottom of the barrel?

Just a thought... throwing money around doesn't work. Never. If you're with people without money they resent that. If your with people that do have money, chances are one of them there has more money than you.

You know, there is this little bar/resturant in georgetown down in DC. If I took you there you would see women on the cover of maxim magazine. Mid 20s early 30s. Drop dead. With some guy twice their age because (obviously) he's loaded. These girls are cheating on that shmuck with a younger guy and enjoying the meal ticket from the older guy - no question about it.
 
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  • #37


Good one, fileen!
 
  • #38


You do realize that knowing a famous man's biography inside out is kind of pathetic? You think by replicating Einstein's or Feynman's life you will somehow become them? I mean I can see how you would be smarter if you studied same subjects they did, but using same pickup lines and adapting same habits will not make you them. You either have it or you don't and that is exactly the point of this thread - if you can't pick up a woman then no pickup line can help you
 
  • #39


cronxeh said:
You do realize that knowing a famous man's biography inside out is kind of pathetic? You think by replicating Einstein's or Feynman's life you will somehow become them? I mean I can see how you would be smarter if you studied same subjects they did, but using same pickup lines and adapting same habits will not make you them. You either have it or you don't and that is exactly the point of this thread - if you can't pick up a woman then no pickup line can help you

What are you talking about? I never said anything of the sort. It was an example.
 
  • #40


Cyrus said:
Allow me to show you the flaw in that line. (a) You're in a really upscale bar. Guess what, you and almost every other guy in there has a Porsche and yacht. Woop-de-do. (b) you're not in an upscale bar, in which case why are you wasting your time scraping the bottom of the barrel?

Just a thought... throwing money around doesn't work. Never. If your with people without money they resent that. If your with people that do have money, chances are one of them there has more money than you.

You know, there is this little bar/resturant in georgetown down in DC. If I took you there you would see women on the cover of maxim magazine. Mid 20s early 30s. Drop dead. With some guy twice their age because (obviously) he's loaded. These girls are cheating on that shmuck with a younger guy and enjoying the meal ticket from the older guy - no question about it.


You assuming that there is intelligence involved. Throwing your money around may cause resentment from those with higher IQ and substantially less attractiveness factor, but having a good packaged libido will attract you a hot piece of blonde
 
  • #41


cronxeh said:
You assuming that there is intelligence involved. Throwing your money around may cause resentment from those with higher IQ and substantially less attractiveness factor, but having a good packaged libido will attract you a hot piece of blonde

Learn how to read. I *never* said anything remotely to what you're saying. Thanks for putting words in my mouth. I owe you one...
 
  • #42


Cyrus said:
What are you talking about? I never said anything of the sort. It was an example.

That wasn't directed at you actually. I was generalizing in regards to Feynman's pickup line that asking the direct question like he did will not get you laid :biggrin:
 
  • #43


fileen said:
I like my eggs unfertilized

haha this guy knows how to pick up a chick


I like his pick-up line:

And when you're on the street,
depending on the street,
i bet you are definitely in the top 3
good lookin girls on the street
 
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  • #44


cronxeh said:
That wasn't directed at you actually. I was generalizing in regards to Feynman's pickup line that asking the direct question like he did will not get you laid :biggrin:

Do me a favor. Don't quote me then.
 
  • #45


Cyrus said:
Do me a favor. Don't quote me then.

You weren't quoted, yet you decided to quote me. Touche?
 
  • #46


Evo said:
We're talking about pick-up lines at a bar. That line won't work in a bar.

I know I've heard that line hundreds of times. The only time I remember was sitting with my (now ex) husband on the couch. We had been married about 6 years, no special occasion. He just suddenly blurted out "you have the most incredibly beautiful eyes". It might have been the first day in 6 years my allergies weren't bothering me. Who knows? But THAT I remember. I decided to divorce him shortly after that.

Wow! Okay, that goes on my list of pick-up lines never to use. :smile:
That will go right above "Your eyes are like searchlights in hell."
 
  • #47


ANYWAYS.....moving on cronxeh.

(I quoted you because that WAS directed at YOU).
 
  • #48


Cyrus said:
Allow me to show you the flaw in that line. (a) You're in a really upscale bar. Guess what, you and almost every other guy in there has a Porsche and yacht. Woop-de-do. (b) you're not in an upscale bar, in which case why are you wasting your time scraping the bottom of the barrel?

Just a thought... throwing money around doesn't work. Never. If your with people without money they resent that. If your with people that do have money, chances are one of them there has more money than you.
I will abandon this here. Why do you have to meet your mate in a bar and why do you have to meet your mate in an upscale bar?

There are lots of very nice people that you might meet at a tavern, a barn-dance (archaic), a church social, a community dinner to benefit disadvantaged persons, and a charity mission or other places, including church suppers, or when volunteering for outreach programs that might draw in big-hearted young ladies.
 
  • #49


Speaking of multiverse, somewhere at this very instance I'm kicking Cyrus's dog
 
  • #50


BobG said:
Wow! Okay, that goes on my list of pick-up lines never to use. :smile:
That will go right above "Your eyes are like searchlights in hell."

Your eyes are like pools.. sunken and watery.

Your teeth are like stars.. they come out at night.
 

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