Best Pickup Lines: Two Funny Ones to Try

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The discussion revolves around the use of pickup lines in bars, with participants sharing their experiences and opinions on what works and what doesn't. Two particularly bad pickup lines are highlighted: one about commitment and self-change, and another referencing a research grant for a two-day study on finding a woman's g-spot. Many contributors express disdain for traditional compliments like "You have beautiful eyes," deeming them outdated and ineffective. Instead, they advocate for more overtly sexual or humorous approaches, arguing that confidence and creativity are key to successful interactions. The conversation also touches on the broader social dynamics of bars, with some participants criticizing the behavior of both men and women in these settings. Ultimately, the thread showcases a mix of humor and frustration regarding the art of flirting and the challenges of meeting potential partners in nightlife environments.
  • #51


turbo-1 said:
I will abandon this here. Why do you have to meet your mate in a bar and why do you have to meet your mate in an upscale bar?

There are lots of very nice people that you might meet at a tavern, a barn-dance (archaic), a church social, a community dinner to benefit disadvantaged persons, and a charity mission or other places, including church suppers, or when volunteering for outreach programs that might draw in big-hearted young ladies.

I suggest you read the OP. It would save us both the headache. It said a bar.

There's nothing like going to the bar and hitting on some random girls with the worst pickup line ever to be conceived by man. I've heard some good ones over the years but these two are my favorites;

I don't know why you are bringing up anything other than a bar. I made no statements of what I said I do in a bar should be extrapolted to other social settings.


I think you also missed the line where I said don't go looking for a mate in a bar.

That's strike 2.
 
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  • #52


cronxeh said:
Speaking of multiverse, somewhere at this very instance I'm kicking Cyrus's dog

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
 
  • #54


you bad fileen
 
  • #55


Ladies ONLY:

If a guy says 'you have the most bla bla bla eyes' at a bar would you even give him 5 mins of your time?

(I already know the answer is no, but I want turbo to 'get it'. I want him to hear it for himself.)
 
  • #56


Did you fall from heaven? Because your face looks all squished like you had a big fall.
 
  • #57


maze said:
Did you fall from heaven? Because your face looks all squished like you had a big fall.

AHahahahhahaahaha
 
  • #58


maze said:
Did you fall from heaven? Because your face looks all squished like you had a big fall.

:smile::cry::smile::cry::smile:
 
  • #59


Cyrus said:
Ladies ONLY:

If a guy says 'you have the most bla bla bla eyes' at a bar would you even give him 5 mins of your time?

(I already know the answer is no, but I want turbo to 'get it'. I want him to hear it for himself.)

it all depends on how he says it. If he is confident without being arrogant, and he's hot, and he's inclined to buy me stuff then yes I certainly will. In fact Id give more time to someone who comments on my eyes than my breasts. I have the double D's and I hear about them all the time. I get it...
I might not be the kind of girl youd be into though, since I am not looking for a part time thing. I don't do the whole sleeping with strangers thing. I want the forever deal
 
  • #60


fileen said:
it all depends on how he says it. If he is confident without being arrogant, and he's hot, and he's inclined to buy me stuff then yes I certainly will. In fact Id give more time to someone who comments on my eyes than my breasts. I have the double D's and I hear about them all the time. I get it...
I might not be the kind of girl youd be into though, since I am not looking for a part time thing. I don't do the whole sleeping with strangers thing. I want the forever deal

runs without looking back...RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN (foot steps foot steps ...fades quieter and quieter into the background noise). You aint getting me for 18 years toots.


AHAHAHAHAHHA, where did that little gem come from!? Sugar daddyyyyy. (Hey I don't blame you one bit. If a guy's that dumb to give away his money to you then take it.)
 
  • #61


Cyrus said:
wow...that's lame and sad.

:smile:
 
  • #62


Cyrus said:
runs without looking back...RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN (foot steps foot steps ...fades quieter and quieter into the background noise).AHAHAHAHAHHA, where did that little gem come from!? Sugar daddyyyyy.

haha yes and this is why I don't frequent the bars. Not only do you have to deal with dumb sluts but also the guys the dig them
 
  • #63


fileen said:
haha yes and this is why I don't frequent the bars. Not only do you have to deal with dumb sluts but also the guys the dig them

That's a sweeping (and false) statement. Me0owww...why the hate? I've found that most of the people at the bars are normal everyday people.

One girl I was talking to was in her late 20's and had similar interests about being atheist. She was into Dawkins and Hitchens. She worked for the Department of homeland security. She was a nice person. Her name was Marta and she was polish descent. Tall, dark hair, thin. She was also turning guys away from her left and right that tried to dance or talk to her. I was also grabbing her butt, and she grabbed mine. We were flirting because it was fun. If you're too insecure to have fun or go to bars, you shouldn't be there. But you can't say, 'there sluts'. That's a very myopic veiwpoint.

Now, there ARE people that are sluts (guys and girls). But to say that they are ALL sluts is way, way off point.
 
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  • #64


Wow. My last post in this thread a little more than an hour ago was "I'm going to let this thread die", and now its at 4 pages.

I would really like to hear from the ladies on this forum as to what lines they like to hear. :-p

I have this one a t-shirt (seriously!);

"Is your 'butt' differentiable? Because I would like to be tangential to it."

I have to say that most girls that I've met in bars have been professional sluts. I've given up trying to find a girl that I can take seriously let alone spend the rest of my life with so I'm ok with this.
 
  • #65


Cyrus said:
That's a sweeping (and false) statement. Me0owww...why the hate? I've found that most of the people at the bars are normal everyday people.

One girl I was talking to was in her late 20's and had similar interests about being atheist. She was into Dawkins and Hitchens. She worked for the Department of homeland security. She was a nice person. She was also turning guys away from her left and right that tried to dance or talk to her. I was also grabbing her butt, and she grabbed mine. We were flirting because it was fun. If you're too insecure to have fun or go to bars, you shouldn't be there. But you can't say, 'there sluts'.

perhaps youve never been to Guelph... I don't know if its just here but its pretty normal here for people to go out to bars and bring home strangers on a daily basis. The few times I've been to the bars, I've had to deal with guys that are actually angry that I am not interested. When I go I do so to dance and I plan to go home alone. I am sure lots of people feel the same way, but I also know lots of people dont. Skanky girls offend me. I always want to some how force them to have some self esteem. I love my self way to much to just give it away to any one.
 
  • #66


fileen said:
perhaps youve never been to Guelph... I don't know if its just here but its pretty normal here for people to go out to bars and bring home strangers on a daily basis. The few times I've been to the bars, I've had to deal with guys that are actually angry that I am not interested. When I go I do so to dance and I plan to go home alone. I am sure lots of people feel the same way, but I also know lots of people dont. Skanky girls offend me. I always want to some how force them to have some self esteem. I love my self way to much to just give it away to any one.

It's hard having conversations when people live in vastly different places from one another. Where you live, where I live, and where turbo live, it's hard to talk on the same page because things are so fundamentally different.

When I say a 'bar'. I mean this:

http://www.eaw.com/frontrow/Lotus%20Open%201.jpg

773057544_12f892f809_m.jpg


http://dc.metromix.com/content_image/thumbnail/4x3/180/429282

http://www.dcsocialite.com/images/play.jpg

http://www.actincdc.com/Lima/Lima7.jpg

Not some hole in the wall to drink yourself silly. So I think we are trying to compare apples and oranges.
 
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  • #67


"I'll show you where my Y intercepts your X. Hint: it's in your fallopian tube. They call it the origin for a reason."

I thought this was hilarious :smile:
 
  • #68


Now, I don't go to bars, but the one Cyrus have a picture of, I would love to go there. It looks pretty! :biggrin:

Wanna take me sometime?
 
  • #69


mcknia07 said:
Now, I don't go to bars, but the one Cyrus have a picture of, I would love to go there. It looks pretty! :biggrin:

Wanna take me sometime?

If you come down here, yes. I'll take you to one. If my friend is DJ'ing well get in for free too, and cut the line.
 
  • #70


Cyrus said:
If you come down here, yes. I'll take you to one. If my friend is DJ'ing well get in for free too, and cut the line.

Awesome, I'm going to keep your word on that one too.
 
  • #71


mcknia07 said:
Awesome, I'm going to keep your word on that one too.

I'm not kidding. Come in the summer when its warmer. You must be over 21 though.

f8af1128-5b9d-102a-b440-5245652ba8cbthumb.png
 
  • #72


Cyrus said:
It's hard having conversations when people live in vastly different places from one another. Where you live, where I live, and where turbo live, it's hard to talk on the same page because things are so fundamentally different.

When I say a 'bar'. I mean this:

Not some hole in the wall to drink yourself silly. So I think we are trying to compare apples and oranges.
When I say a 'bar', I mean atmosphere - .98692 atmospheres to be exact.
 
  • #73


Cyrus said:
I'm not kidding. Come in the summer when its warmer. You must be over 21 though.

f8af1128-5b9d-102a-b440-5245652ba8cbthumb.png

OK, when it's warm then. And, I should be old enough by then :biggrin:
 
  • #74


BobG said:
When I say a 'bar', I mean atmosphere - .98692 atmospheres to be exact.

Ahem, that's barr

edit: Damn, it is bar. Damn you, damn damn!

Foiled by your slide rule and resistor pen yet again...
 
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  • #75


Dam Cyrus, your good. You can even pick up girls on PF! I need to start taking notes.
 
  • #76


mcknia07 said:
OK, when it's warm then. And, I should be old enough by then :biggrin:

You have purdy eyes...did you fall from heaven?? :-p

459301650_34eb874137.jpg
 
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  • #77


BobG said:
When I say a 'bar', I mean atmosphere - .98692 atmospheres to be exact.

OK, here's my new trick. I bump into an engineer at a bar and say. "oopsie!" and let a slide rule fall out of my purse. I think it has potential.
 
  • #78


Cyrus said:
You have purdy eyes...did you fall from heaven?? :-p

459301650_34eb874137.jpg

Beautiful view...sucky pick up line
 
  • #79


I got free passes to this sick bar...

http://www.libertygroup.com/c_lounge/c_lounge.html

Check out the Fire and Ice Lounge.
 
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  • #80


Math Is Hard said:
OK, here's my new trick. I bump into an engineer at a bar and say. "oopsie!" and let a slide rule fall out of my purse. I think it has potential.

Fall from where? You should be wearing a tiny top with a short skirt.
 
  • #81


Math Is Hard said:
OK, here's my new trick. I bump into an engineer at a bar and say. "oopsie!" and let a slide rule fall out of my purse. I think it has potential.

Nope, you blew it already. It had potential before you let it fall to the floor.
 
  • #82


Topher925 said:
"Is your 'butt' differentiable? Because I would like to be tangential to it."


Or better yet "id like to be Normal to your butt" :approve:

a vector pickup line for ya
 
  • #83


cronxeh said:
Or better yet "id like to be Normal to your butt" :approve:

a vector pickup line for ya

Let's play a game. Find the normal vector of my body.
 
  • #84


Ivan Seeking said:
Nope, you blew it already. It had potential before you let it fall to the floor.

:smile: :smile: :smile:
 
  • #85


I had several, but all dependent upon immediate circumstances (usually spontaneous).
The only stock phrase was "Is there any possibility that your stand on meaningless recreational sex is compatible with mine?"
Strangely enough, once in a while the answer was positive.
 
  • #86


JasonRox said:
I got free passes to this sick bar...

http://www.libertygroup.com/c_lounge/c_lounge.html

Check out the Fire and Ice Lounge.

Awesome man. Awesome.
 
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  • #87


Math Is Hard said:
OK, here's my new trick. I bump into an engineer at a bar and say. "oopsie!" and let a slide rule fall out of my purse. I think it has potential.

doesn't matter what you drop, as long as you turn away and bend at the hips to retrieve it.

or... just make physical contact.
 
  • #88


The idea of pick-up lines is itself flawed. One needs to be adaptive to the situation and seize opportunities that present themselves there and then, pre-thought lines are rarely going to come off right.
 
  • #89


Math Is Hard said:
Your eyes are like pools.. sunken and watery.

Your eyes are like pools...cesspools.

Carl Hiassen had a great bit of dialog in one of his books:
"You have the most beautiful blue eyes"
"They're green, but thanks anyway."
 
  • #90


Evo said:
The only time I remember was sitting with my (now ex) husband on the couch. We had been married about 6 years, no special occasion. He just suddenly blurted out "you have the most incredibly beautiful eyes". It might have been the first day in 6 years my allergies weren't bothering me. Who knows? But THAT I remember. I decided to divorce him shortly after that.

90% of men say the first thing they notice about women are their eyes.

90% of women say the first thing they notice about men are that they are a pack of liars.
 
  • #91


Not the best way to get girls (but have a good laugh and maybe get a conversation going):
Hey loveboat... not you shipwreck.
Hey cookie... not you dog biscuit.
(actually those are good for teasing people you already know, heaven help you if you try them on someone you like)

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

You with all those curves and me with no brakes.

Hi, my name's redargon, remember that 'cos you'll be screaming it later.

How to possibly get girls:
Forget pick up lines, be confident, walk across to the girl making eyes at you and ask her how she's doing (but not like joey: hey, how you doing?).

Other things that might get you somewhere:
Point at the cocktail menu and ask, "any idea what this tastes like?" or "what the hell is angostura bitters?" with a slight confused look on your face. It shows weakness (you're not trying to prove how smart you are) and that you're willing to ask her for and value her opinion.
"Hey, do you speak French?"
When she says "no", you say, "Yeah, neither do I..."
When she's says "yes" or "oi", you say "ummm, ****, well actually that was my pickup line, what's the french word for jackass?"

I have a t-shirt that says, "Tell your girlfriend I said thanks" For some reason girls like this one. Must be a confidence thing.
 
  • #92


"I'm not a physicist."
 
  • #93


My best wasn't a line at all... just an approach.
The bar that I worked in had nice plush rolling armchairs at the tables. Our winters here can get pretty nasty (-50C sometimes), so people dress appropriately for the season. One cute young lady had this huge fur coat draped in her chair, and she was sitting on it. When she went to the can, I took it upon myself to slump in her chair and pull the coat over myself. She sat back down never suspecting... :devil:

It startled the hell out of her, but I ended up taking her mother home. :biggrin:
 
  • #94


Vanadium 50 said:
90% of men say the first thing they notice about women are their eyes.

90% of women say the first thing they notice about men are that they are a pack of liars.


which i think is an inborn disease and an incurable one.:-p
 
  • #95


dyosa said:
which i think is an inborn disease and an incurable one.:-p

Haha, which set of eyes?
 
  • #96


http://www.dagobert.ca/

http://www.mauricenightclub.com/album.php

Those were the two places I went to all the time this summer.

Where do you guys go if this isn't the type of bars you have in mind?
 
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  • #97


JasonRox said:
http://www.dagobert.ca/

http://www.mauricenightclub.com/album.php

Those were the two places I went to all the time this summer.

Where do you guys go if this isn't the type of bars you have in mind?

Hmmm, that's a good question. Warehouses with dog agility training events is one option, but it's not exactly a very daring social excursion.

Turbo had a suggestion that actually works pretty well in this area of the country (he's not the first person I've heard this from).

turbo-1 said:
I will abandon this here. Why do you have to meet your mate in a bar and why do you have to meet your mate in an upscale bar?

There are lots of very nice people that you might meet at a tavern, a barn-dance (archaic), a church social, a community dinner to benefit disadvantaged persons, and a charity mission or other places, including church suppers, or when volunteering for outreach programs that might draw in big-hearted young ladies.

It's not quite so archaic around here, except they actually have contra dancing, which is a little bit different (a little more international flavor) and they don't have them in barns.

The plusses are:
Contra dancing is not the same as country line dancing.
Contra dance groups receive absolutely no funding from Oliver North.
We do not wear costumes (except on Halloween) or any particular style of clothes. (I think this might mean nude dancing, but I'm not sure since I've never actually seen a contra dance).
Contra dance is a form of dance that thrusts a different person of the opposite sex into your arms every 30 seconds or so.
Contra dancers make eye contact whenever possible. Remember: they're gazing into your eyes not because they love you but because they want to make the connection, and they don't want to throw up on you. (partners considerate enough not to throw up on you is a very big plus).

So the options are:

Hillside Community Center

or (if willing to go out of town):
http://www.stellardaysandnights.org/valerie.htm

Man, that's going to be really hard to choose between those two options.
 
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  • #98


Topher925 said:
Wow. My last post in this thread a little more than an hour ago was "I'm going to let this thread die", and now its at 4 pages.

I would really like to hear from the ladies on this forum as to what lines they like to hear. :-p

I have this one a t-shirt (seriously!);

"Is your 'butt' differentiable? Because I would like to be tangential to it."

I have to say that most girls that I've met in bars have been professional sluts. I've given up trying to find a girl that I can take seriously let alone spend the rest of my life with so I'm ok with this.
I hope you don't use any of those lines you've posted, they're all horrible.

I think the problem you have with meeting women is that you have a terrible attitude and misconceptions about women that are very obvious.
 
  • #99


Math Is Hard said:
OK, here's my new trick. I bump into an engineer at a bar and say. "oopsie!" and let a slide rule fall out of my purse. I think it has potential.

To pick up most engineers, I think all you really need to do is be female and willing.
 
  • #100


NeoDevin said:
To pick up most engineers, I think all you really need to do is be female and willing.
Yeah, the slide rule might distract him to the point that he forgets everything else. Like kurdt "oooh, red ball". :-p
 

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