Well, with that sort of attitude, Canada will never have a do not call list...LOL! That's okay, keep them occupied, I'm sure the rest of the people on their list that they didn't have time to call will be happy you intervened tonight.
Hmm...I'm much better with obscene callers than telemarketers. With telemarketers, I'm usually stick with something like, "My consulting fee is $300/hour, minimum of one hour, if you'd like to discuss this with me, we can schedule an appointment as soon as you tell me where to send the bill for my charges." (I just make up the amount depending on my mood.) More often, I just used to hang up on them. Now that we have the do not call list, I haven't been bothered other than by the ocassional charity. I used to sometimes just tell them I was busy, please call me back tomorrow around 3 in the afternoon (when I'm at work...they can talk to my answering machine all they want).
Okay, but I'm not above being amused by telemarketer torture. So...if it's for a cell phone, you could ask them about international plans. If you wanted to sound really dumb, you could ask if it counts as an international call if you call the US (though that's usually more believable when someone in the US asks that about Canada...you'd be amazed how many people in the US are dumb enough to not realize going to Canada is international travel! Or maybe you wouldn't be that amazed.) You could then go through a whole list of countries and ask if each is an international call. Then, list a few provinces...never know what answer you might get there! Name a few obscure villages on another continent and ask what the rate is to call there.
Oh, and how about asking them how long the cord is for the charger. Tell them you often forget to charge the phone until the battery runs out completely, and then you have to make calls while it's charging, so how far will the cord reach? And what about the car charger? Is the cord long enough to reach the backseat? Cuz you wouldn't want to miss a call while...oh, nevermind. And if you use the hands-free attachment, will the earphone part give you brain cancer, or ear cancer? And what about the phone then being clipped to your waist, will it give you cancer in some other organs?
Oh, and you could find some obscure song that you insist you have to have as a ringtone (maybe your high school fight song or something equally unlikely to be available from any mass market site for ring tones) and ask them if they have it, or exactly which site you would have to go to get that tone?
Don't forget to ask about insurance and what's covered. Is dropping the phone in the ocean covered? Do you have to catch the phone and prove it drowned, or will they just take your word for it? What about dropping it in the toilet? Do they want it back to repair if you do that? Accidentally running it over with your car? How big is the phone? Is it small enough for your Great Dane to swallow? If he does swallow it, is that covered by insurance? What about just dog slobber on the phone? Or if the dog chews on it but doesn't swallow it?
You could also pretend someone else is on call-waiting and keep making them hold. Just put the phone on mute for a bit.
Do you have local number portability in Canada? That's where you get to keep your phone number even if you change companies. Either way, you can ask for details about that. If they don't have it there, you can tell them you heard the people in the US have it (we do), and ask if they plan to get it, and when?
How long do you think it will take for this telemarketer to realize you don't plan to actually buy the phone? Do you think they will even call you back, or was that just their strategy to get rid of you and your 10,000 questions?
Please report back :-)
