Are More Product Warnings Necessary to Prevent Lawsuits?

[G01]

We Need More Product Warnings!

Think of all the lawsuits that can result without these warnings present!

http://www.cse.unsw.edu.au/%7Egeoffo/humour/truth/truth.html

 

[hypatia]

PLEASE NOTE
Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.

 

[Evo]

PLEASE NOTE
Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.

That was my favorite.

 

[DaveC426913]

I think these would be a lot wittier if they didn't spell out the joke in minute detail. Good humour is that which causes you to arrive at the punchline yourself.

The first one does this nicely:
WARNING - This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.

The fifth one should simply be:
CONSUMER NOTICE - It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.

And the sixth one:
ADVISORY - There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.

 

[Evo]

I think these would be a lot wittier if they didn't spell out the joke in minute detail. Good humour is that which causes you to arrive at the punchline yourself.

That's why you can tell these were written by real nerds, they can't keep it simple.

 

[G01]

This one may actually really scare some people if they don't understand E=mc^2:

CAUTION
The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.

 

[Four]

ATTENTION
Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.

I would love to see that on a bottle of water.

 

[NoTime]

LOL!
My favorite warning lable

Warning: Do not read warning lables while operating product.