Are you single, married, or do you have a gf/bf?

[Astronuc]

I have to say I agree with Cyrus on the not wanting to be around someone everyday. I need distance and time for myself. Even when I was married, I had my own room to do the things I wanted and not be bothered by my husband. I can't imagine being joined at the hip to someone, I would feel suffocated. I had a life before I met them, I still have a life after marriage. To each their own, if you like being together with someone all of the time, that's really lovely, but it's not for everyone.

Being married is not about being joined at the hip. A marriage is an interdependent partnership, with each partner committed to the relationship, which entails the benefit of mutual support, while at the same time retaining a certain independence.

It would drive me crazy to have a wife who wanted to be joined to my hip. I too would feel suffocated.

My wife and I have similar interests we share, but we also have (probably as much) different interests, which we enjoy independently. We'll read together in bed in the evening. She reads fiction, but I prefer history or science/technology books. She has her forums on-line, and I have mine. She has her gardening areas (in which she decides what to plant), and I have mine (my hot peppers and my berries), but we help each other. She has her activities outside the home, and I have mine, and once in a while we'll do something together.

When I'm away from home, I do look forward to coming home. And I do look forward to kissing my wife when I leave in the morning, and when I come home in the evening.


Along the lines of Cyrus's perspective, I did not pursue a closer relationship than friendship with any woman who wore a lot of make-up/cosmetics or who felt compelled to wear designer clothes and accessories.

I did know I nice girl who had a high risk of melanoma, and she had to be careful with respect to sun exposure. Had our relationship progressed, that would have been an issue, primarily with respect to children, but it wouldn't have been a show-stopper. We just remained friends though.

 

[JasonRox]

For example, Jason Rox is pretty clear about that, he's not looking for a relationship, just someone hot for regular booty calls.

I have room on my calling list.



I don't see myself falling head over heels for a girl. I don't have all these particular standards like Cyrus has. I find all kinds of girls attractive. I want a girl of quality, of real quality. I don't mean that she's quality simply because she can cook diner. I want an open minded girl in which I can have conversations of any kind and not have to worry about her getting emotional about it (my current girl does).

I've been in Quebec for 3 months and met many girls. Yet, none of them were of quality. Though there are lots of pretty girls here and they're willing to sleep with you right away. (Girls main complaint here is that Quebec guys lack confidence.)

 

[Lacy33]

yeah, most it has to do with being buddies.
Hot times with a "looker", seem to hit the buddy system by surprise and because you have a full life to go back to you don't have to be worried that you look your best while "gardening" doing dishes or cleaning the powder room...

 

[George Jones]

I've lived the life of a single man for a week, and thought the peace and quite has been great, I'm very much looking forward to meeting my wife and daughter at the airport tonight.

 

[humanino]

I've lived the life of a single man for a week, and thought the peace and quite has been great, I'm very much looking forward to meeting my wife and daughter at the airport tonight.

It has been 3 weeks, and I can't wait for another 3 weeks I'm sure many people on PF will be glad when I stop posting 123 (frustrated) messages per day

 

[Math Is Hard]

I should find Cyrus a Shirazian girl since the qualities he says mostly matches them! They don't need tan since their skin already look likes they have tan.

Bring back a girl for Cyrus and a Shirazi salad for me.

I can't tease Cyrus too much because I think my dating standards were just as rigid when I was in my 20s. I only dated guys with long hair - no exceptions. I just loooved rocker boys.

I am still pretty strict with my standards. Except now I just require that they have hair. Well, ok, maybe I can be flexible on that. But they have to have most of their teeth. I'm not budging on that one.

 

[Math Is Hard]

MIH is the one and only hot blonde though.

aww, Cyrus. :!) BTW, my back hardly ever breaks out. Only just a little on the first day after I shave it.

 

[JasonRox]

But they have to have most of their teeth. I'm not budging on that one.

Your requirements when from a full set of hair to a full set of teeth!

 

[Lacy33]

Your requirements when from a full set of hair to a full set of teeth!

ya, and if I remember correctly when one could not reach a hammer, Barbie's um well, Barbie was hard enough to pound a nail into the wall.

 

[euler_fan]

married about six years and now have a MORTGAGE!

 

[JasonRox]

married about six years and now have a MORTGAGE!

Marriage isn't about commitment to love each other. It's about paying the mortgage for the rest of your life until you pass away. You get married because it's a little easier to make the mortgage payments.

 

[rewebster]

Bring back a girl for Cyrus and a Shirazi salad for me.

I can't tease Cyrus too much because I think my dating standards were just as rigid when I was in my 20s. I only dated guys with long hair - no exceptions. I just loooved rocker boys.

I am still pretty strict with my standards. Except now I just require that they have hair. Well, ok, maybe I can be flexible on that. But they have to have most of their teeth. I'm not budging on that one.

do you mean, they could have lost one in their set of dentures?

 

[Moonbear]

I am still pretty strict with my standards. Except now I just require that they have hair. Well, ok, maybe I can be flexible on that. But they have to have most of their teeth. I'm not budging on that one.

Hmm...I live in WV, not sure if I can afford to be picky about the teeth either.

I joke with my boyfriend that if we met when we were still in college, we'd have probably run in opposite directions. I don't think people really know what they want when they're that young, which accounts for strange pairings and high divorce rates. Then again, I'm not sure people really know what they want when they're my age either, just they have relaxed a bit and don't eliminate people so quickly. I'm pretty sure that when it comes to finding someone for a relationship, you know it when you find it. You can increase your chances by being more social and dating more people, but there's no easy way to seek it, and it has a way of sneaking up in unexpected ways.

 

[rewebster]

Hmm...I live in WV, not sure if I can afford to be picky about the teeth either.

I joke with my boyfriend that if we met when we were still in college, we'd have probably run in opposite directions. I don't think people really know what they want when they're that young, which accounts for strange pairings and high divorce rates. Then again, I'm not sure people really know what they want when they're my age either, just they have relaxed a bit and don't eliminate people so quickly. I'm pretty sure that when it comes to finding someone for a relationship, you know it when you find it. You can increase your chances by being more social and dating more people, but there's no easy way to seek it, and it has a way of sneaking up in unexpected ways.

some people get more reluctant not to try someone different as they get older too---that 'I want someone exactly like me' or 'I want someone at least as good or better than the last one' attitude--

-Seinfeld episodes often touched on 'reasons things' didn't work out----the one about George "SHE'S BALD"---"SHE'S GOT 'MAN' HANDS"

 

[Cyrus]

For those who say I am too pie-in-the-sky. Today I had lunch with my friend at a market and there was a girl and her mom there. The girl was too young (probably a senior in high school), but both her and her mom were absolutely gorgeous. Dark hair, perfect olive skin, no makeup. Just natural beauty. They both could have been models. The mom had a black dress on that showed most of her back, upper chest and legs. All of it was flawless.

 

[humanino]

there was a girl and her mom there

Very interesting situation, kind of time travel.

 

[Cyrus]

I have a pic of http://www.irvinehousingblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/ugly3_lg.gif" with his lovely skin

HAhahaha kurdt you BUM!

 

[Cyrus]

When someone sets impossibly high standards for their potential mate's appearance or social status, it reminds me of High School cliques. Suzy is the head cheerleader, so she is the Alpha female and any guy that can't get her has to "settle". Bill is the high-scoring point guard and the captain of the basketball team, and he is SOO handsome... When I went to my 10-year class reunion (the only one I went to), most of the "Suzys" and "Bills" had already been divorced and remarried and I didn't know half of the people there. Some of those people are now on their third or fourth marriages. Sad. Don't accessorize yourself with your mate. Beauty is transitory. Rodin got it right with his belle heaulmière.

No, it just seems impossibly high because it seems you have no standards what so-ever. I don't see any point to your high school analogy, its so far off its hopeless and pointless. Yet again, you don't pay attention to what I write.

 

[Cyrus]

I should find Cyrus a Shirazian girl since the qualities he says mostly matches them! They don't need tan since their skin already look likes they have tan.

Well, I am a Shirazi boy.

 

[Cyrus]

When I read Cyrus' description, I thought of my own gf. Does it mean I am dating the perfect girl. I certainly think so But from an objective point of view, maybe I'm just blindly in love. I repeat N+1 times my opinion : you guys don't show respect for feelings, which only matter. Rationalizing them is possible and sometimes useful, but it only comes second and cannot change feelings. Rationalizing can change your behavior, and your open-mindness to feeling, but only in the future.

That's why I told you your gf is cute.

 

[Cyrus]

Aw, I can't get this link.
But I suppose after the the ex-playboy bunnies go south, and their counter parts employ live-in hydraulics experts.
If they are lucky to live that long they will wish they started looking inward so many years earlier.
But this young person Cyrus, may still be a teen in which case his thoughts are pretty much on target. At least as much as my dusty old diary read.

You don't even know me...

Apparently some of you think looks are the only thing I factor in, which is quite sad since I already said otherwise several times. If you read what I said, its there. I don't recall saying I dumped anyone explicity because of their skin either...

 

[Lisa!]

For those who say I am too pie-in-the-sky. Today I had lunch with my friend at a market and there was a girl and her mom there. The girl was too young (probably a senior in high school), but both her and her mom were absolutely gorgeous. Dark hair, perfect olive skin, no makeup. Just natural beauty. They both could have been models. The mom had a black dress on that showed most of her back, upper chest and legs. All of it was flawless.

Finally a man who cares about natural beauty not those girls who wear make up heavily that you're barely able to recognize their faces!

Well, I am a Shirazi boy.

Your origin's certainly affected your taste!

 

[turbo]

No, it just seems impossibly high because it seems you have no standards what so-ever. I don't see any point to your high school analogy, its so far off its hopeless and pointless. Yet again, you don't pay attention to what I write.

That post was not aimed at you in particular Cy, just a generalization about the viability of relationships based on things that ultimately turn out not to matter that much. Many of the really popular, good-looking kids in my HS are on their 2nd or 3rd marriage because they took a long time to learn lessons about perception vs reality. Believe me, I had very high standards when I was young, and still do. I would never date a woman who would gossip or do hurtful things to others. I would never date a woman who valued appearance or popularity over character - there is just no basis for a relationship between myself and someone that shallow. I dated a very attractive young woman for a while until she started doing manipulative things. She thought that she was entitled to have a much greater influence on my personal life than I was willing to allow, so we parted ways. Yeah, she was intelligent (and was a Miss Maine runner-up after we parted), but character was a much bigger issue for me.

 

[Monique]

Finally a man who cares about natural beauty not those girls who wear make up heavily that you're barely able to recognize their faces!

Not really, why do you think that some girls cake-on their make-up? Maybe because some guys expect them to have a phenomenally flawless skin?

 

[Lacy33]

You don't even know me...

Apparently some of you think looks are the only thing I factor in, which is quite sad since I already said otherwise several times. If you read what I said, its there. I don't recall saying I dumped anyone explicity because of their skin either...

As you know I just sent you a very nice PM to which you responded so rudely as to tell me in the only to "P** off." The second you reiterated such with an emphasis on "WOMAN."
I was raised in American upper class with strong emphasis on Victorian manners. Never did a man bark at a female..."WOMAN."
Tell me dear, How do you intend on treating this perfect beauty you seek in private if you treat strangers in such a way?

 

[Lisa!]

Not really, why do you think that some girls cake-on their make-up? Maybe because some guys expect them to have a phenomenally flawless skin?

Nope! I just don't care why they do this since anyone has the right to do whatever s/he wants with his/her body, IMO! It's just strange for me when I see people expect all women to wear make-up all the time, everywhere. And otherwise they take you as a weirdo and maybe not a real woman.

 

[Cyrus]

Finally a man who cares about natural beauty not those girls who wear make up heavily that you're barely able to recognize their faces!


Your origin's certainly affected your taste!

I find that girls from the mediterranean, israel, and middle east, have that type of look. Sometimes central and south america too.

What I don't like is that pale eastern european, red hair very fair skin type of woman with blonde hair and blue eyes.

 

[rewebster]

There's women out there whose goal is to have perfect skin, and to be perfect for their man in every way--to the point of wearing what the man wants her to wear, and not to speak if not spoken to, etc.---a lot of women have a goal of just trying to look as good as they can forever--just look at all of the beauty, exercise, weight loss, etc. that are directed at women for them to look 'good'--a whole lot of women take that as their main goal in life for their whole life--too bad, but its true.

And then there's some men that look for that type of women--and some men have the same goals as that type of woman too.


Some men look at women as objects, if they have a chip, they're only worth 10% of what they would be worth if they were perfect.

 

[Cyrus]

As you know I just sent you a very nice PM to which you responded so rudely as to tell me in the only to "P** off." The second you reiterated such with an emphasis on "WOMAN."
I was raised in American upper class with strong emphasis on Victorian manners. Never did a man bark at a female..."WOMAN."
Tell me dear, How do you intend on treating this perfect beauty you seek in private if you treat strangers in such a way?

Yeah, I did. Let me tell you something, honey: I don't send you PM's asking you 'please tell me your 14, dear'. There was NO POINT to your PM other than to bust my balls. So I gave you exactly the answer you deserved, and was too modest really.

I highly doubt you have any victorian manners if you sent me such a PM. Or maybe you should have just put in more thought before you sent me a random stupid message like that.

I treat people how they treat me. You're the one that sent me a PM like that, not I. Dont open your mouth and talk to me like that when I never did the same to you.

 

[Cyrus]

That post was not aimed at you in particular Cy, just a generalization about the viability of relationships based on things that ultimately turn out not to matter that much. Many of the really popular, good-looking kids in my HS are on their 2nd or 3rd marriage because they took a long time to learn lessons about perception vs reality. Believe me, I had very high standards when I was young, and still do. I would never date a woman who would gossip or do hurtful things to others. I would never date a woman who valued appearance or popularity over character - there is just no basis for a relationship between myself and someone that shallow. I dated a very attractive young woman for a while until she started doing manipulative things. She thought that she was entitled to have a much greater influence on my personal life than I was willing to allow, so we parted ways. Yeah, she was intelligent (and was a Miss Maine runner-up after we parted), but character was a much bigger issue for me.

Then I apologize Turbo. I thought you were directing that comment at me as a reply, and I agree. What I am saying is that I look for my list of physical things, before I get to the more important mental things.