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Originally posted by Mentat
Son, it should be pretty fun to see a nun make a pun, but there are none, who'd make a pun, under the sun.

Is this statement false?


well, first off, i am not your son. secondly, it would not be fun. also, there are many nuns who I'm sure would love to make a pun, but for the love of god, not under the sun! they'de melt!

have you ever noticed that the first letter of every second letter in the third letter of everyones first name is actually the ninth letter of the the second alphabet, and is always divisable by three?
 
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Originally posted by maximus
well, first off, i am not your son. secondly, it would not be fun. also, there are many nuns who I'm sure would love to make a pun, but for the love of god, not under the sun! they'de melt!

have you ever noticed that the first letter of every second letter in the third letter of everyones first name is actually the ninth letter of the the second alphabet, and is always divisable by three?

umm, no, its 3.14159

What is the fifth number of our alphabet?
 
Originally posted by Cummings
umm, no, its 3.14159

What is the fifth number of our alphabet?

um...B. No, 6. No...ummm...42!

How come a tree's rings tell you how old the tree is, don't they have any shame?
 
Originally posted by Mentat

How come a tree's rings tell you how old the tree is, don't they have any shame?

because trees, like lettuce and mustard, grow only more respectable with age.


why doesn't the devil face work?
 
Originally asked by Maximus

why doesn't the devil face work?

Ah, but you are fooled, as it is the devils greatest trick, making you think he doesn't exist, when all the time you are being seduced by his D'evil!

And now, the "Homer(s)ized" version...

Is the reason that there is no word, in the English language, that rhymes with Orange, because none of the other words can reach a note in the d'Oh-range??


(As suggested by; "A friend"..Tee heee heee heheheheheheheheR?)
 
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Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Is the reason that there is no word, in the English language, that rhymes with Orange, because none of the other words can reach a note in the d'Oh-range??
No, gorange rhymes with orange and is clearly in the d'oh! range.

<------d'oh!------->
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;gorange

see?
 
Insert Homer (here)

Originally asked by J-Man

see?

WHat? where? D'Oh, Ya!, that! there! yup!


Have you ever used, ooooor, been a Victim of …….
"Reverse Bumpkin Tecka-Gnawl-(d')O(h)-GEE!"??
 
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Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Have you ever used, ooooor, been a Victim of …….
"Reverse Bumpkin Tecka-Gnawl-(d')O(h)-GEE!"??
I never even knew there was such a thing.

If the airspeed velocity of an unladen, (European,) swallow is 42 knots North, but it's airspeed velocity when laden, (with say a 2 lb. coconut,) is only 17 knots (whatever direction,) what time does the train arrive at the station?
 
Originally asked by J-Man

If the airspeed velocity of an unladen, (European,) swallow is 42 knots North, but it's airspeed velocity when laden, (with say a 2 lb. coconut,) is only 17 knots (whatever direction,) what time does the train arrive at the station?

Well, if the bird (That's me?) uses "Reverse Bumpkin Technology" (patents pending, BTW) then the right hand rules tells us that the summation fo the vectors cancels out to twelve gad-zillion meters per half year, (squared...naturally) in hyperspacatial reality, but in this dimensionality, the train got derailed, so at 42 O'clock!


When Mr, Robin Parsons, representing the (Wild ) bear, called himself the (i)D(i)ot typissst, was it apparent to you that his use of the two ( ) around his iconographic i was actually to indicate the reflective qualities of mirrors, to the effect that the D could be seen as 'duplicable', ERGO creating the actual title of (i)D (i)Dot, which is a representation of the actuality of a human, with respect to creation, (My ID is simply I'DOT), and that the furthering of this analogy is found in the generation of this iconographic illustration of humanity to include the "Corporeally Ensconced Mind" (that is a Human being) represented by the i, (which is the mind, above the body that it is ensconced within) which is a product of a mirroring effect itself, (hence the two mirrors ( )) ensconcing/generating the i) is further "Universally Humanized in Commonality" by the (i)D (i)Dot's Title in it's signification of the very self reflective quality of being human, such that if you couldn't distinguish between the self generation of i's, then you probably really are (the one and only, as the people in this forum do NOT qualify for such a title, BUT, there is that Universal LAW that states; “There is an exception to EVERY RULE!) a true, and actual, the one and only, in the entire Universe, idiot?
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Well, if the bird (That's me?) uses "Reverse Bumpkin Technology" (patents pending, BTW) then the right hand rules tells us that the summation fo the vectors cancels out to twelve gad-zillion meters per half year, (squared...naturally) in hyperspacatial reality, but in this dimensionality, the train got derailed, so at 42 O'clock!


When Mr, Robin Parsons, representing the (Wild ) bear, called himself the (i)D(i)ot typissst, was it apparent to you that his use of the two ( ) around his iconographic i was actually to indicate the reflective qualities of mirrors, to the effect that the D could be seen as 'duplicable', ERGO creating the actual title of (i)D (i)Dot, which is a representation of the actuality of a human, with respect to creation, (My ID is simply I'DOT), and that the furthering of this analogy is found in the generation of this iconographic illustration of humanity to include the "Corporeally Ensconced Mind" (that is a Human being) represented by the i, (which is the mind, above the body that it is ensconced within) which is a product of a mirroring effect itself, (hence the two mirrors ( )) ensconcing/generating the i) is further "Universally Humanized in Commonality" by the (i)D (i)Dot's Title in it's signification of the very self reflective quality of being human, such that if you couldn't distinguish between the self generation of i's, then you probably really are (the one and only, as the people in this forum do NOT qualify for such a title, BUT, there is that Universal LAW that states; “There is an exception to EVERY RULE!) a true, and actual, the one and only, in the entire Universe, idiot?

Is that even a quetion?
 
Originally asked by mentat

Is that even a quetion?

D'Oh look, "Reverse Bumpkin Technology" (patents pending) at work!

What does "Patents Pending" really mean??
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What does "Patents Pending" really mean??
It comes from the Greek words "paten" (pants) and "tspen" (to sue) and "ding" (dang). Literally, "to sue your dang pants off."

Why do they want your pants?
 
Origially asked by J-Man

Why do they want your pants?

So they can "pend" them what else would/could it have been!

Is the word "Karaoke" translated into English, "Karry-Off-Key"??
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Is the word "Karaoke" translated into English, "Karry-Off-Key"??
Yes, but most people screw it up and translate it as "Barry's Monkey", and their voice cracks when they say it.

Is the world safe from joggers?
 
Originally posted by J-Man
Yes, but most people screw it up and translate it as "Barry's Monkey", and their voice cracks when they say it.

Is the world safe from joggers?

You mean, is the safe jog from worlders? Or, is the jog world from safers?

If a tree falls in the middle of the forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it kill a squirrel?
 
Originally asked by Mentat
If a tree falls in the middle of the forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it kill a squirrel?

Well now, the tree falling at angle &Theta; with the cooresponding angle of interferential differentiation being &alpha; twix the variable of the known &alpha;/&Omega; range, the squirrel, {if present} must execute a double back-flipping summersault, at an inverted angle of
&zeta; * &asymp; thus arranging for the momentum to be &equiv; to &plusmn; the &radic; &pi; thus obtaining the maximum velocity achievable as to ensure that, (if the squirrel is present) the last longest branch may, or may not, strike the squirrel firmly and soundly, hence making it much simpler for all of us to enjoy squirrel "frikase'e" this evening.

If Ms. Spelt, miss spelt, misspelled, would she need a legal name change?
 
Mr. Robin Parsons asked:
If Ms. Spelt, miss spelt, misspelled, would she need a legal name change?
Only if she married Mr. Spelling, cause she'd then be 'Misses Spelling'.

Why do people tell me I'm out of shape? After all, 'round' is a shape.
 
Originally asked by J-Man

Why do people tell me I'm out of shape? After all, 'round' is a shape.

Because it doesn't fit into there 'square thinking' minds!

Why does a "Square Thinking Mind" not fit into a round hole??
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Because it doesn't fit into there 'square thinking' minds!

Why does a "Square Thinking Mind" not fit into a round hole??

Why, do you really need a phenomenological anal probe?

Why do people believe that aliens use anal probes?
 
Originally asked by Mentat

Why do people believe that aliens use anal probes?

Because, 'rumor has it' they keep using the "Back Door", of the planet, for entry.

How does one employ a "phenomenological anal probe" for testing flatulate spectroscopy?
 
Originally asked by dextercioby
Now there's a stupid question from me:how much can one earn by webmastering a hardcore site??

Rumor has it that nothing ever is gained from it.

Why would anyone, work at a job, that rewards them, with nothing?

EDIT SP!
 
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Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Rumor has it that nothing ever comes from it.

Why would anyone, work at a job, that rewards them, with nothing?

And now, for the dumbest answer of all time: Sometimes the work is a reward in itself.

What exactly would a phenomenological anal probe look like?
 
Originally answered, and asked, by Mattius_
coke or pepsi?

Why yes! please! cold preferably!

What is the opposite of Orange?
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why yes! please! cold preferably!

What is the opposite of Orange?

Egnaro (pronounced: egg-nah-row) noun. Etymology: From the Old English "Egnaro", which meant nothing whatsoever to them, and hasn't changed much since.

Definition:
1) The opposite of Orange, for whatever reason one may wish to conjur up in their twisted, useless, minds.

2) The noun form of the verb, to "egn", which cannot be pronounced, so don't even try.

3) In some cultures, the name of the Almighty God, who egned this Earth from nothing.*



*these cultures are only hypothetical, and no such religion is known to exist, but the definition just didn't look long (or stupid) enough without this third point.


What is the purpose of definitions?
 
Originally posted by Mentat
Egnaro (pronounced: egg-nah-row) noun. Etymology: From the Old English "Egnaro", which meant nothing whatsoever to them, and hasn't changed much since.

Definition:
1) The opposite of Orange, for whatever reason one may wish to conjur up in their twisted, useless, minds.

2) The noun form of the verb, to "egn", which cannot be pronounced, so don't even try.

3) In some cultures, the name of the Almighty God, who egned this Earth from nothing.*



*these cultures are only hypothetical, and no such religion is known to exist, but the definition just didn't look long (or stupid) enough without this third point.


What is the purpose of definitions?

To put de fine point on things.

What is the opposite of grok? (and don't say korg!)
 
Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
What is the meaning of "is"?

ARE!

How do you start a bicycle?
 
by getting a bi'person to cycle it.


when will hell freeze over i want to go there for christmas