Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[zoobyshoe]

How would this leave you feeling if the price of chips were suddenly to drop and you just couldn't stop thinking about that bratty little child who opened the door owning your giraffe-necked, loggerhead-flippered, amphibious mutant tree sloth?

Well, leaving it there was my decision, and choice so there would be no one left to blame in my mind but that bratty little kid.

Grampa Boulderhead, Founder of the Clan:
Address:http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/8338/Faces/labels/Wilson.html

Speking of brats, blame, giraffes, turtles, and amphibians, used to be a guy could go out and pick up a couple of flashlight batteries for $1.50, bring 'em home, crack 'em open with a hammer, smear the black stuff inside all over his body, and run up and down the stairs shouting "I'm Johnny-Cake Johnny! That's who I am! I'm Johnny-Cake Johnny!", and everyone was happy. Now, a couple of batteries will set you back 4-5 bucks, and who can afford that? Any suggestions?

 

[BoulderHead]

Speking of brats, blame, giraffes, turtles, and amphibians, used to be a guy could go out and pick up a couple of flashlight batteries for $1.50, bring 'em home, crack 'em open with a hammer, smear the black stuff inside all over his body, and run up and down the stairs shouting "I'm Johnny-Cake Johnny! That's who I am! I'm Johnny-Cake Johnny!", and everyone was happy. Now, a couple of batteries will set you back 4-5 bucks, and who can afford that? Any suggestions?

Only one; purchase the non-alkaline types because hammering little dents into them (I prefer biting) will actually put some life back into the things.



BoulderHead out with 'the boys';


Note; I will need to remove this link after a few minutes, hehe.


Are public restroom vending machines good for avoiding anything?

 

[zoobyshoe]

BoulderHead out with 'the boys';
http://www.bitoffun.com/images/wei-Hard_as_a_Rock.jpg

Note; I will need to remove this link after a few minutes, hehe.

Why? Can't keep it up?

hehehehehe

Are public restroom vending machines good for avoiding anything?

Bar owners frequently avoid having their legs broken by placing those machines in their bathrooms, yes.


Recently, while practising the ancient art of dowsing, I succeeded in finding no fewer than 14 pairs of old dowsing rods. Any explanations?





Boulderhead trying to be surreptitious:
Address:http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/8338/Faces/labels/Grafton.html

 

[BoulderHead]

Hahahaha, I was too slow on the draw !

Now my true nature is at last revealed

Recently, while practising the ancient art of dowsing, I succeeded in finding no fewer than 14 pairs of old dowsing rods. Any explanations?

I'd have to consult with (Q) for an explanation.

Boulderhead's Polynesian sweety;
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/8338/Faces/labels/Pipestone.html


Can dowsing rods be used to locate a suitable area on a commercial jetliner for parachute mounting?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Now my true nature is at last revealed

hehehehehehehe

Can dowsing rods be used to locate a suitable area on a commercial jetliner for parachute mounting?

Of course. I know someone who once used them to locate a place to mount the flight attendant.

Say, given all the noise on a jet, all the engine rumbling and such, and the fact you're going 800 miles an hour, and because the pilots sometimes hum tunes into the PA system cause they forget to shut them off, do you suppose it is possible that sound is being produced in the infrasonic range that could be affecting the passeners? Ya think this could explain why, whenever I fly I have the strong urge to stand in front of everyone announcing "De plane! De Plane!"?

 

[BoulderHead]

...do you suppose it is possible that sound is being produced in the infrasonic range that could be affecting the passeners?

I don't think so 'cause I'm fairly certain they had all those types of ranges replaced with more modern microwave ovens.

Ya think this could explain why, whenever I fly I have the strong urge to stand in front of everyone announcing "De plane! De Plane!"?

Methinks those little bottles they sell for exorbitant prices would be a more likely cause.


Are not those seat-buckle demonstrations performed by flight attendants some of the most captivating performances ever witnessed in nature?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Are not those seat-buckle demonstrations performed by flight attendants some of the most captivating performances ever witnessed in nature?

I don't fly for any other reason.


I have an autograph book with the signatures of over 300 lovely flight attendants; the past and present stars of the seat belt demonstrations all over the globe. What am I bid?

 

[Math Is Hard]

I'll give you 30 tons of raw jellyfish, seeing as Zoobs don't appreciate the value of U.S. legal tender.

How many barbers have gone insane after encountering Boulderhead's massive pompadour?

 

[zoobyshoe]

How many barbers have gone insane after encountering Boulderhead's massive pompadour?

Trick quetion. None. Boulder gets his hair cut by jackhammer artists at the foot of Mt. Rushmore.


I wonder, do all the real Boulderheads feel envious of all the attention the fake Boulderheads at Mt. Rushmore recieve?

Disgruntled, envious boulderhead:?
Address:http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/8338/Faces/labels/WhtMtnFor.html

 

[BoulderHead]

How many barbers have gone insane after encountering Boulderhead's massive pompadour?

Too many, and all I ever wanted was a little trim...but it appears I am stuck with my cowlick !


[edit = ignore (been beaten to punch by the Zoobster once again)]

 

[Gokul43201]

I wonder, do all the real Boulderheads feel envious of all the attention the fake Boulderheads at Mt. Rushmore recieve?

There are no real Boulderheads.

But there are the retired sculptors from the stellar system, Rockstar Chisellitallup. So the day they get their pensions (they're periodic beings, like our cicadas - all born the same day, start working together, and retire simultaneously, a Mersenne prime number of years later - but that's a different story) the entire sculpting community of planet Boulderdash (the only other community on the planet are a bunch of surgeons that specialize in setting bones broken by flying granite) go traveling about the Galaxy performing their artwork upon yet unbeautified planets.

The most recent generation of the Boulderdash sculptors (retired about 4000 years ago) proudly take the credit for the canals of Mars - even though they had to consume several gigatonnes of asteroids to keep them going.

Did you know that the Boulderdashian sculptors are a species devoid of the female sex ?

 

[BoulderHead]

Did you know that the Boulderdashian sculptors are a species devoid of the female sex ?

To a point approaching physical pain, YES !


I saw an advertisement in a local newspaper selling a two-year old cement mixer for $125. How can anyone so young perform such back-breaking labor ??

 

[zoobyshoe]

I saw an advertisement in a local newspaper selling a two-year old cement mixer for $125. How can anyone so young perform such back-breaking labor ??

We here at area 51 have been looking for that child since his escape last month. Please PM me with the location. In the meantime phone the vendor and tell them not to feed it any lobster. I'm not at liberty to explain.


Every once in a while someone finds a boulderhead somewhere in Mexico that looks exactly like the Virgin Mary. It's a miracle, isn't it?

 

[motai]

Every once in a while someone finds a boulderhead somewhere in Mexico that looks exactly like the Virgin Mary. It's a miracle, isn't it?

Absolutely, it is right next to the large rock that looks mysteriously like Richard Nixon's nose. That is when you set up a booth and charge people to have their picture taken with a up-scaled version of nature's rendition of a former U.S. Presidents nose. 140% of the people who did this reported gaining thousands of pesos and using all of the money up to buy one loaf of bread.

*last sentence is slightly inaccurate.

Can one theoretically rob a bank with a frozen loaf of bread and get away with it?

EDIT: to Math Is Hard - I meant using the frozen loaf of bread as a weapon, like a gun. sorry for misunderstanding. put changes in edit so as to not ruin the flow of this gigantic thread.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Wouldn't it be better rob a bank that had money rather than just a lousy loaf of frozen bread?

If Ask a Stupid Quetion.. became a hit TV show, who would be the sponsors?

 

[zoobyshoe]

If Ask a Stupid Quetion.. became a hit TV show, who would be the sponsors?

Due to vanity, I'm more concerned about who they'll get to play the role of Zooby.


I bought a CD the other day, a recording of a rarly performed violin sonata by rarely recorded composer, Uwe S. Ohrenkreig, performed by pianist Schnellen D. Bangenhammer and violinist Schramme D. Blitzgeige. The composer describes this work as being set in the key of Z minor. It consist of noises produced by dropping delicate, airy things like leaves and feathers onto the strings of the two instruments.
It is a subtle work, and went over my head. Anyone have any idea what it was all about?

 

[Gokul43201]

Sure...it's more popularly known as the levitationally traveling oxymorchestra. For a couple months each year, you'll find it going over everybody's heads.

If I now asked a quetion that was not stupid, would this thread, in a moment of angst, give up, pack its bags, and go home ?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Let's find out. I will ask a "borderline" stupid quetion as a test, and we can measure how long the thread stalls.

My textbook says that if you have a current moving through a wire, electrons move in the opposite direction of the current. Why is that?

 

[motai]

My textbook says that if you have a current moving through a wire, electrons move in the opposite direction of the current. Why is that?

Simple, it is mating season and the electons want to move upstream to fertilize the opposite "sex (i.e charge)". Its a subatomic world of salmon migration.

Would the following statement be true based on that assumption? "Electrons have feelings too" if the opposite charge dumps an election?

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

holy **** there is 1100 replies to this thread, well make this 1101

 

[Math Is Hard]

Would the following statement be true based on that assumption? "Electrons have feelings too" if the opposite charge dumps an election?

Absolutely. Electrons certainly have feelings. So does friction.

Many elementary physics textbooks will preface a problem by stating "Ignore friction."
How long do you think friction will continue to take being ignored by thousands upon thousands of students before it finally snaps, and what will be the consequences?

 

[jimmy p]

Absolutely. Electrons certainly have feelings. So does friction.

Many elementary physics textbooks will preface a problem by stating "Ignore friction."
How long do you think friction will continue to take being ignored by thousands upon thousands of students before it finally snaps, and what will be the consequences?

I think that friction will tired of being constantly ignored and within the next year or two will snap and give people horrible rashes and burns.

Speaking of ignored science with feelings, how bad do you think air resistance feels when textbooks tell you that it is negligable?

 

[Kacper]

Absolutely. Electrons certainly have feelings. So does friction.

Many elementary physics textbooks will preface a problem by stating "Ignore friction."
How long do you think friction will continue to take being ignored by thousands upon thousands of students before it finally snaps, and what will be the consequences?

I think friction doesn't mind being ignored because it understands the twist that is put onto the problem when it is applied so there will be no consequences.

But for a stupid question what's more annoying? A big huge fly buzzing around your head or a bunch of gnats flying around?

 

[Gokul43201]

Not very bad at all. You see air resistance is a poor learner (what with all the resistance... ) and never got the hang of big words. It still enjoys strutting about in a transparent negligee.

If there's ever a revolution going to happen among the ill-appreciated physical quantities, it will likely be led by the growingly disgruntled gang of commonplace objects' velocities. They've had a decent time until Alfred Einstein came along and questioned their manhood.

How do you think they feel about being continually (over the last century) referred to as 'small compared to the speed of light' ?

EDIT : IGNORE THIS. I type too slowly...beaten by multiple posts.

 

[Math Is Hard]

I am going to defer to your quetion, Gokul. I have deleted my prev post. Your quetion stands as the quetion to be answered.

 

[zoobyshoe]

If there's ever a revolution going to happen among the ill-appreciated physical quantities, it will likely be led by the growingly disgruntled gang of commonplace objects' velocities. They've had a decent time until Alfred Einstein came along and questioned their manhood.

How do you think they feel about being continually (over the last century) referred to as 'small compared to the speed of light' ?

Trick quetion. Alfred© Einstein, of course, had nothing to say about the speed of light. Alfred's concerns were gelatinous and purple. As for speed, he had to rely on a stipulation of the speed of a nocturnally roving herd of weird, purple jellyfish in a vacuum for his calculations, since a real herd in those circumstances would simply explode into a lavender mess.


Since the great bulk of Alfred's ideas came from "thought experiments" (sittengedankenthinkin versuchungen) do you suppose that all the weird, purple jellyfish he experimented upon were experimenting back upon him with sittengedankenthinkin experiments of their own?

 

[Gokul43201]

Trick quetion. Alfred© Einstein, of course, had nothing to say about the speed of light. Alfred's concerns were gelatinous and purple. As for speed, he had to rely on a stipulation of the speed of a nocturnally roving herd of weird, purple jellyfish in a vacuum for his calculations, since a real herd in those circumstances would simply explode into a lavender mess.


Since the great bulk of Alfred's ideas came from "thought experiments" (sittengedankenthinkin versuchungen) do you suppose that all the weird, purple jellyfish he experimented upon were experimenting back upon him with sittengedankenthinkin experiments of their own?

I don't suppose it; I know it. And the result was disastrous. Let me explain...

You see Einstein (borrowing from Finny Descartilage) eventually announced : "I think, therefore you (the weird, purple jellyfish) are." And the weird, purple jellyfish decided (all together, since they're bassons - refer Dr. S. N. Bass) to see what would happen if they performed a Fluvier transform on those words. So they performed it and arrived at : "We are integral, therefore you are imaginary."

And Einstein disappeared in a puff of purple smoke.

Since that day, Einstein can be found only in the sittingedankenthinkin experiments of the weird, purple jellyfish.

Isn't it a gigantic pity that this was the end of one of the greatest thinkers to ever be?

 

[jimmy p]

Isn't it a gigantic pity that this was the end of one of the greatest thinkers to ever be?

I wouldn't call Alfred Einstein one of the greatest thinkers of all time, if he can be out-smarted by weird purple jellyfish.

Which other great scientists have been out-smarted by weird purple jellyfish and how?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Which other great scientists have been out-smarted by weird purple jellyfish and how?

Well, of course there was Aristotle, who completely misunderstood the cause and nature of the weird, purple jellyfish' weirdness, but he was outsmarted by the entire physical world, so that's no surprise. Strangely, though, even Galileo fell down on this quetion because, when trying to devise some sort of scale of weirdness against which to measure any given weird, purple jellyfish, the jellies kept messin' with his head by adopting a level of weirdness equal to wherever they were placed on the scale.


As mentioned earlier in the thread, it wasn't till Isaac Newty, using a prism and rotten apple setup, discovered that every weird, purple jellyfish is composed of a spectrum of weirdness, that galileo's mystification was cleared up. Who, then, though discovered that the presence of a weird, purple jellyfish can induce weirdness in certain, select other things in Nature, and how does that work?

 

[Math Is Hard]

That would have been astronomer Tai-bo Brahe who carefully observed jellyfish outside his window while doing his vigorous morning exercises. Brahe discovered first-hand the insane weirdness of purple jellyfish when he challenged one to a duel (over a minor mathematical discrepancy) and it promptly cut off his nose.

Without a nose, how did Brahe smell?