Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[Gokul43201]

For the same reason that I can happily walk barefoot over a giant, robotic platform made of tungsten, and the giant , robotic platform can happily walk barefoot over a bed of hot coals, but ... you know !

"tastes good with" and "walk barefoot over" can be treated as mathematical structures known as relations. In particular, "tastes good with" is called a symmetric relation since ' ice-cream tastes good with chicken curry' (what ? you should try it...) implies that 'chicken curry tastes good with ice-cream'. However, it is not a transitive relation, causing the choco-peanut-mint logic to fail.

Do you think Hindu Yogis are mathematical wizards since they can force the "walk barefoot over" relation to be transitive ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Do you think Hindu Yogis are mathematical wizards since they can force the "walk barefoot over" relation to be transitive ?

No, because they can't: the peculiar truth is, they become disoriented and fearful when faced with the challenge of transversing tungsten robot platforms.


Recently I encountered a gentlman who asked if I would save all the hair that collected in my hairbrush for him. When I asked why, he replied that he planned to build a boat out of old hairbrush hair. When I asked why, he responded that he wanted to prove that, with enough ingenuity, you could build a boat out of anything. He said he had already built practical boats from old v-belts, pencil shavings, audio speakers, old camera lenses, and chicken feet. So I said that I thought once he had succeeded with the chicken feet he must have proved his point beyond any doubt, and ought probably to move on to he next project. He considered that, and said he thought I was probably right. He asked me to save the hair anyway, since he was also thinking about opening a Starbucks.

Anyone have a clue what that meant?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Washable coffee filters.

There is another possiblity. I have noticed that if you grind up your hair in the coffee grinder it looks a lot like coffee. It looked so much like coffee that I tried making some coffee with it. I had to use a little extra sugar but otherwise it was quite tasty. Then I tried adding some hair conditioner, just for kicks. Boy, Tsu thought that was really funny.

Has anyone else tried this?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Has anyone else tried this?

No. I think you stand alone in that particular school of creativity.


In a book I have entitled Inexplicably Mysterious Enigmas of the Unknown a report from 1930 tells of a sighting of two large dark clouds near lake Loch Lochy in Scotland. The report ends there. I reread it several times failing to see the point.

Seeking expert advice, I called Art Bell, who snapped at me "Maybe we're all living in a post-nuclear burned out world, and everything you think you see is an hallucination!"I apologized for interrupting his drinking binge, and hung up.
Baffled, I thought I'd get my mind off it. I pulled the kitchen garbage bag out of its container and proceeded out to the dumpster. Suddenly, there in the sky, I noticed two dark clouds.

Comments? Explanations? Donations?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Comments? Explanations? Donations?

In a thread entitled Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer a post from Zoobyshoe tells of a sighting of two large dark clouds near lake Loch Lochy in Scotland. The report ends there. I reread it several times failing to see the point. Suddenly, there in the sky, I noticed two dark clouds.

Oh my god! Don' t read this! Don't look up! What...[/Size]

 

[zoobyshoe]

In a thread entitled Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer a post from Zoobyshoe tells of a sighting of two large dark clouds near lake Loch Lochy in Scotland. The report ends there. I reread it several times failing to see the point. Suddenly, there in the sky, I noticed two dark clouds.

Oh my god! Don' t read this! Don't look up! What...[/Size]

Perhaps the most incoherent post since the Mr. Robin Parsons/Firefly war of incoherence.


In a book I have entitled Unexplainable and Enigmatic Tales of the Unknown and Mysterious there is a report from 1930 concerning twin brothers separated at the age of 40 who were miraculously reunited by sheer coincidence at age 41 only to discover that they had no interests whatever in common anymore.

In a similar story from 1988, identical twin sisters were separated by circumstances beyond their control at age 37 and spent the rest of their lives in the vain hope that one day they might completely forget about the existence of the other.

A third tale tells of twin chickens, Martha and Mary McClucky, born from a double yolked egg, who were separated at age one year and six months and formed the main dish of two separate, tasty meals.

What is it about twins and coincidences?

 

[Tsu]

Well, I had a set of fraternal twins for friends when I was a kid and before they moved to my town, they lived in SAUDI! :surprise:

How't THAT for a coincidence?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Well, I had a set of fraternal twins for friends when I was a kid and before they moved to my town, they lived in SAUDI! :surprise:

How't THAT for a coincidence?

A real show stopper.



In a book I have, entitled Unknown Mysterious Weirdly Enigmatic Non-Explainable Tales of the Strange there is a report from 1954 concerning a man who ingested a special mixture of Island herbs and fish glands and proceeded to systematically hynotize himself to obey his every order. This story, you may know, was the basis for the 1965 hit film I Am My Own Zombie directed by Roger Corman, and staring Jack Nicholson, in one of his early roles, miscast as the miscast Shakespearian actor, Rupert C. Ptolomy, who was cast as Hamlet when he should have been playing Polonius. Since Nicholson would be unsuitable for both Hamlet and Polonius, he was miscast as the miscast actor, and the viewing audience never feels much sympathy when the auto-zombie stalks him. Regardless, Corman, due to budget restraints, was forced to ignore some of the most fascinating aspects of the historical truth from which he borrowed his plot. Name and describe at least one incident he was unable to include in his film.

 

[Gokul43201]

He found it hard to show - in the film - that a self hypnotized being is neither awake nor asleep, but in a superposition of these 2 states. Eventually, an external perturbation, such as a falling bucket of water or a falling bucket of bricks causes the being to collapse into one of the states.

How is a zombie-state different from an Eigenstate ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

How is a zombie-state different from an Eigenstate ?

Eigenstates are discrete. In a zombie-state, however, a person might shoot their mouth off at the drop of a hat without thinking about it.


I a book I have, entitled Uncanny Tales of the Unconventional, Remarkable, and Peculiar, there is a report from 1887 in which it is told that a crowd of people waiting for a train in Hogsbutt, Arkansas, USA all witnessed one of their number begin to dance around the train platform in an unconventional, remarkable, and peculiar manner, for no apparent reason and with no music being heard in the vicinity. The gentleman was, at first, suspected of being intoxicated or insane, but after about 5 minutes of this behaviour he was heard to utter: "I'm Johnycake Johny! That's What I am! I'm Johnycake Johny!", whereupon he leaped up into the air, and kept going until he was no longer visible.

Later in the book, in another chapter, the story is told of a man sitting at a table outside a Café in 1972, in the city of Paris, France, who, about to take a sip of his expresso, was started out of his wits by the sight of a man descending from the sky without the benefit of vehicle or parachutte, dressed in 1880's clothing, and who, upon reaching the street, turned and walked calmly away, betraying no hint he was aware that he'd just accomplished anything special.

I was bothered by the fact the editors of the book had not noticed the obvious connection between the two tales, and had placed them in separate categories of unconventional, remarkable, peculiarity. Why aren't these people paying attention?

 

[Gokul43201]

Obvious connection ? What obvious connection ? Clearly this is just a zooby trick - playing with our heads.

Am I the only one, or does everone else see some "obvious" connection between the tales ?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Obvious connection ? What obvious connection ? Clearly this is just a zooby trick - playing with our heads.

Am I the only one, or does everone else see some "obvious" connection between the tales ?

The connection is obvious: This is a case of a rogue, not-mass tenticlet of a weird purple jellyfish - a R,NMTOAWPJ.

Euphemistically known as R,NMTOAWPJ.1, ,oh my, but don't get me going...anyway...it is thought to be comprised of goo-ons and to complete the model for the newly discovered "weird" quark, as well as its counterpart the "psychotic" quark.

The model predicts that whenever not-mass encounters mass, such as with our friend from 1887 and what clearly was a R,NMTOAWPJ, a goo-hole is formed which connects 1887 to 1972. Why these two years are involved nobody knows but they always are. So, I think we can be certain that this was a case of spacetime sliming caused by a goo-hole.

What I don’t understand is the 1887 / 1972 connection. Why do goo-holes only have pustules [nodes] at these two points in slimetime?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What I don’t understand is the 1887 / 1972 connection. Why do goo-holes only have pustules [nodes] at these two points in slimetime?

Behind closed doors, and under guard, there is a team of physicists, engineers, slime/time theorists, and bakers at work trying to fathom this very quetion. The answer is tentativly believed to be mysteriously encoded somewhere in the recipe for johnycake.


In a book I have, entitled Experimental Time/Slime Demonstrations Of Chaotic Laboratory Setups For The Simian, Marsupial, and Homo Sapien Home Testing Of Goo-Hole Nodes there is described a simple, easy means for determining the johnycake constant j of any chaotic system using some common vinegar, baking soda, the kitchen stove, a straw, and a refrigerator magnet. However, it warns the stove should only be used with parental permission and supervision.

This raises the quetion: how many jellyphysics discoveries do you suppose have been lost to posterity because of physicists parents refusing them permission to use the kitchen stove?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

This raises the quetion: how many jellyphysics discoveries do you suppose have been lost to posterity because of physicists parents refusing them permission to use the kitchen stove?

In the famous Goo-Dell Incompletelness Theorem, Goo posits that johnycake conservation makes moot the famous "Kitchen Debates". This all gets down to a simple fact that we expect an equal and opposite reaction.

So, given that constant johnycakes not only ensures but is in fact a measure of the chaos of a system, isn't the johnycake really just the old hyperweirdpurplejellyfishattractor with goo added?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Why, no, Ivan, even first year jellyphysics students know that if you add goo you will also have to add the opposite of goo, else you forfeit symmetry.

Speaking of Goo, along with the direction of goo flow, what are some other mistakes first year jellyphysics students make about goo?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Why, no, Ivan, even first year jellyphysics students know that if you add goo you will also have to add the opposite of goo, else you forfeit symmetry.

Speaking of Goo, along with the direction of goo flow, what are some other mistakes first year jellyphysics students make about goo?

I would say that they falsely assume that goo-symmetry is preserved.

Why is goo-symmetry not preserved, now that is an interesting question.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Goo symmetry is only preserved in the presence of Oog particles according to Mack Swell's liquations, which states that the degradation of goo symmetry, precipitated by the abscence of oog, results in an icky liquid mess.

Why did Swell's wife leave him after only 3 months of marriage?

 

[BoulderHead]

Why did Swell's wife leave him after only 3 months of marriage?

His goo producers were unsymmetrical.





Did Mack feel Swell after being dumped by his wife?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Did Mack feel Swell after being dumped by his wife?

Matter of fact, he felt great. He'd been trying to get rid of her since the wedding night when he discovered she had a disagreeable habit of dancing around the bedroom in an unconventional, remarkable, and peculiar manner after mating.


In a book I have, entitled The Interesting, Heartwarming, Bizzarre, Iconolastic, and Porcine Life of Mack Swell it relates the poignant tale from his childhood of being ridiculed in front of all the other children for his clumsiness with math. Determined to overcome this deficiency, he selected small stones from a riverbank, put them in his mouth, and proceeded to practise reciting the times tables out loud until he could pronounce them perfectly in spite of the stones.
Since his perfected pronounciation only made the fact that he had memorized the tables incorrectly all the more clear, he had merely made himself easier to ridicule. Realizing then, it wasn't enough to pronounce them well, but that you also had to get the multiplication correct, was a stunning realization for Mack, and from there on everything fell perfectly into place, allowing for his eventual mathematical contributions to Jellyphysics, without which it would have stalled and gone nowhere.

Where, exactly, did it go?

 

[BoulderHead]

Where, exactly, did it go?

It went over to Matt the Mortician’s place where Swell had learned so much. Mack Swell went on to develop his mathematical skills so well that later Matt the Mortician, studying the liquations, could not help but be impressed…



What influence might that famous polished corn jewelry maker Kentuckian, Kernel Sander, have had on Mack Swell had it been possible for them to have known each other?

 

[Gokul43201]

Their collaboration could well have resulted in the physical realization of those currently abstract mathematical structures known as popcorn jelly.

Popcorn jelly is hypothsized to exist in packets of 10 and 20 only. These popcorn jelly, along with the quarks and goo-ons form the holy trinity of fundamental jellicles, as proposed by the famous Jellicle Jellycist, Murray Jellman.

Did you know that Chineyman had proposed the existence of popcorn jelly quite independently of Jellman (but he called them Jolly poppers) ?

 

[Math Is Hard]

I believe he actually called them Jorry Poppa, and you could get a pint of them free with Dollar Chicken at 3 a.m. at Hong's 24 Hour Dim Sum if you asked for the "special", which also included after-hours booze ("special tea") if you knew the secret code.

What was the secret code to request the "special"?

 

[Math Is Hard]

OK, I suppose I've asked a question that I can only answer, since I am privy to this information.
The answer is: you order the "johnnycakes".

If you order johnnycakes at any other restaurant, what will you get?

 

[zoobyshoe]

If you order johnnycakes at any other restaurant, what will you get?

If you are male, and the waitperson is female, you will get Johnnycakes. If you are male and the waitperson is male, you will get Johnycakes. If you are female and the waitperson is female, you will get johnycakes, but if you are female and the wait person is male you will get johhnycakes. The distinctions can be subtle.

Which brings us, logically, to General Jellitivity, a subject so massive we haven't yet had the opportunity to look at it. General Jellitivity is, of course, primarily about grabity. Grabity is that force by which all gelatinous mass reaches out and grabs all other gelatinous mass. At least in Newty-onian terms. Jellileo concieved of this as a reaching out and shaking of big invisible hands with a resultant drawing together. Newty, though, though some more about it and decided it had a more clumsy, groping quality to it, but he simply may have been in a state of irritation after his head reached up and grabbed an apple drawing it back too quickly. Alfred E. came along with General Jellitivity and proposed that space/time had the general "curved" shape of the jellyfish, and that this jellyfish shaped spacetime surrounded all mass. Grabity no longer was viewed as a grab at all, but a constant sliding down the curved inner wall of a slick, wet, giant jellyfish. Why did anyone find this to be an improvement?

 

[Gokul43201]

Because it explained why black holes - the place that all matter will eventually go to - are black. You see, if you take enough matter and slide it down the slick inner wall of the jellyfish, you could suddenly find that you've exceeded the Hand-shaker Limit (this was deduced using Newty-onian methods; hence, the name) of that jellyfish. This causes the giant jellyfish to undergo a most singular transformation into a giant squid - which immediately upon creation, releases all the excess ink formed by the destruction of all that matter. This ink-covered squid is what is known as a black hole.

Is Albert E. really different from Alfred E., the only true understander of the behavior of nocturnally roving herds of weird purple jellyfish ?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Albert and Alfred were second cousins and boyhood friends who were separated by a bitter feud between their two branches of the family. To this day no one remembers what caused the rift but each side of the family refers the other side as "those Einsteins". The fact that Albert's overwhelming success eclipsed the work and research of Alfred has only thrown gas on the fire. Alfred's family is particularly touchy, as I have cautioned Zooby, about people accidentally crediting Albert with Alfred's work. They keep a small team of lawyers on retainer.

Many years before the feud began, young Albert and young Alfred found a huge dead purple Jellyfish washed up on the beach. They began having a playful tug-of-war with the thing and noticed it was extremely elastic and they had stretched it out to nearly the size of a bedsheet. Curious Albert wanted to see how strong the material was so he asked his father to come over and place his bowling ball in the middle of the taut, stretched purple sheet.
Alfred's eyes lit up.
What had he realized at that moment?

Better question: What was Albert's father doing with a bowling ball at the beach?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Alfred's eyes lit up.
What had he realized at that moment?

Alfred had realized that one could both obviate nocturnal incontinence and create the perfect bed trampoline at the same time. He realized and patented this invention later in life, and it was the source of a financial windfall worth tens of cents in today's money.

Better question: What was Albert's father doing with a bowling ball at the beach?

He'd abandoned bowling so the ball was to become ballast in a beautiful boat.


Try as I might, I can't get a handle on all the units of measurement one encounters in Jellyphysics. I tend to confuse units of jellipotentiality with units of jellimosity with units of jellisticity and so on. Anyone got any of these sorted out properly in their head?

 

[Gokul43201]

Try as I might, I can't get a handle on all the units of measurement one encounters in Jellyphysics. I tend to confuse units of jellipotentiality with units of jellimosity with units of jellisticity and so on. Anyone got any of these sorted out properly in their head?

Some. Jellipotentiality is measured in jellictron jolts. Quantities involved in jellisticity are the poisonous ratio, the jellistic modulus, the jellistic limit, and the jello point. The poisonous ratio (discovered jointly by Alfred and Albert - their only collaborative work) is the ratio of reduction of diameter of a jellyfish to the increase in its length, and it unitless. The jello point is defined as the amount of squish required to convert a jellyfish to the physical equivalent of a bowl of jello (minus the bowl). This, as well as the jellistic limit and modulus are measured in squishes (English equivalent : Newty-tonnes.

I've heard of jellicosity, which is a measure of the meanness (sometimes confused with bellicosity, which is aggressiveness) of a jellyfish (see post#1004, pg#67 for explanation of E=mc^2), but what the jell (jell (n) : final resting place of bad, undersized jellyfish; origin : spanish) is jellimosity ?

 

[jimmy p]

I've heard of jellicosity, which is a measure of the meanness (sometimes confused with bellicosity, which is aggressiveness) of a jellyfish (see post#1004, pg#67 for explanation of E=mc^2), but what the jell (jell (n) : final resting place of bad, undersized jellyfish; origin : spanish) is jellimosity ?

Jellimosity is a term derived in the late 40's when refridgerated particle physics was split into 3 groups. It is basically "the rivallry between Jelliphysics, Goophysics, and the sub-group Playdometry.

The three fundamental particles which have separated this branch of physics are the Jellitron, Goodron and Playdough. What are the properties of each particle?

 

[Gokul43201]

The most distinguishing property of the jellitrons is their taste (some purists like the word 'flavor'). Jellitrons taste fabulous, but I really couldn't care much for the goodrons or the playdoughs.

What's a non sequitur, and why is it two words ?