Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[Huckleberry]

It is definitely "There's a bathroom on the right." The idear here is that it is impossible to leave a bathroom on the right if you are unable to make a left hand turn. So it is a reference to purgatory, which has often been compared to foreign unisex bathrooms.

Why exactly did 'Big ol' Jed have a light on?'

*grumble grumble... nevermind*

 

[zoobyshoe]

What...?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Was Steve Miller deliberately trying to be confusing?

No. The impulse behind that cryptic lyric was something much worse than the attempt to confuse. The singer was, in fact, speaking an ancient proto-egyptian language, saying "Beego jeh! Arro layeenah!" For those of you who are conversant with the various proto-egyptian dialects, I need only point out what will happen if you shift the stress on the first syllable to the second. We might translate the result, for polite company, as "Camel lover! You eat day old droppings!"

What, however, is to be made of: "Blinded by the light! Racked up like a douchen nana rollah ina night!"?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Ah, yes, I remember that song .."It was Bryan's Friday night. Tacked up like a pushpin, butter roller in the night". This was a tribute to musician, Bryan Adams. I actually knew Bryan, back in the day, and I remember some of the details from when he recounted the whole experience to me. He said he got lost in SoCal in the WeHo district when he was accosted by a gang of young vandals who stapled him to a billboard over the 405 freeway, thus the "tacked up like a pushpin" reference.
Brian was pretty unintelligible back then, even in his most lucid moments, so I could never figure out the butter roller part.
Was he just making that up? Or is this some aspect of the WeHo experience that we should probably not question any further?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Was he just making that up? Or is this some aspect of the WeHo experience that we should probably not question any further?

I think you've hit the pushpin on the head. As the man said to the other guy at the end of the movie: "Forget it, Jake. It's WeHo."

Why couldn't I just remember Buck Henry's name?

 

[Danger]

Why couldn't I just remember Buck Henry's name?

Because despite his genius, he will forever live in Mel Brooks' shadow.

Why don't parrots fly north in winter?

 

[Dr.Brain]

Because the Parrots are PhD in magnetism...
So.. they fly towards magnetic north pole which is opposite to the real north pole..


Why is Earth not perfectly round?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why is Earth not perfectly round?

Sheer laziness.

Speaking of posture, should not people's z axis be measured first thing in the morning in order to discover it at its maximun?

 

[Huckleberry]

Don't flatter yourself.

Is there some unusual and unfortunate aspect of zooby physiology that I am not aware of?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Is there some unusual and unfortunate aspect of zooby physiology that I am not aware of?

There is, yes, an aroma issue.

How could Mr. Finn twist my innocent quetion about height into such a double-entendre, and throw it back at me?

 

[Anubis]

"it's all in the hip...it's all in the..."

why did they put the lime in the coke?

 

[Danger]

The watermelon wouldn't fit.



If the plural of 'mouse' is 'mice', why isn't the plural of 'spouse' 'spice'?

 

[brewnog]

Because the plural of 'house' would have to be 'hice', and 'grouse' 'grice'.

What are the actual rules for this thread?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What are the actual rules for this thread?

Ya poot de laym in de ko-ko nut an' drink 'em bote togeddah, poot de laym in de ko-ko nut an' drink em bote up!

I'm thinking Sir Isaac Newty may have made an error when he assumed the existence of absolute spice. Was this the result of a misunderstanding of his regional accent?

 

[Rabid]

Sir Isaac Newton didn't make an error. Einstein sold his soul to Satan in exchange for the power to change the laws of the universe.


When AI is developed and it takes over the world and make all humans slaves, what kinds of jobs will it make us do?

 

[PeteSF]

We're already doing it - this thread is case study in BA (biological intelligence), and why it isn't.

If I say "mouses", "gooses", "sheeps", "persons", "octopods", and "radiuses", instead of "mice", "geese", "sheep", "people", "octopodes", and "radii", why do grammarians get their knickers in a twist?

 

[zoobyshoe]

If I say "mouses", "gooses", "sheeps", "persons", "octopods", and "radiuses", instead of "mice", "geese", "sheep", "people", "octopodes", and "radii", why do grammarians get their knickers in a twist?

Those aren't grammarians, but members of the Twisted Knickers motorcycle/sexual fetish club, and it isn't your pluralisations attracting them, but the fact you mention so many of their favorite animals.

Two years ago I was hiking up a trail in the Adirondacs when one of my shoes was grabbed by something hiding beneath a bush at the side of the path. Quickly shouldering my bazooka, I replaced the bush with an empty crater. My foot was free, but I never found out what it was that had grabbed me. Any ideas?

 

[Rabid]

Nike has clandestine sweat shops in the Adironacks. Obviously, it was a young Chinese girl who had dug a tunnel from under the hidden warehouse to get to freedom and save the others. Unfortunately, since she is now dead! So is all hope of her saving her twenty brothers and sisters from the slave operation and returning peace to the burial ground where the sweat shop is located.


If I could be any animal I wanted to be, what would I be and why?

 

[zoobyshoe]

If I could be any animal I wanted to be, what would I be and why?

You would want to be a sheep or goose provided there was a chapter of the Twisted Knickers in the neighborhood.

Recently when I was scouting around the perimeter of Area 51 I came upon a wounded wild fried egg. Slipping the delicate creature into a box I took it home and have been nursing it back to health. It is healing up nicely, but how will I know when it is really ready to be released back into the wild?

 

[caffeinstein]

WHat is common between Jackie Chan and Albert Einstein?

Simple.

Adam Sandler was initially rumoured to play Einstein's father berating his dumb kid in the Jackie Chan film, Around the World In 80 Days.

It's NOT a cooincidence that Chan, Einstein, & Reagan each have 6 letters in their first names.

And if that's not enough;
Jackie Chan was in Enter the Dragon (1973) with Keye Luke.

Keye Luke was in The Green Hornet, (1940) with Walter McGrail.

Walter McGrail was in Womanhood, The Glory of the Nation (1917) with Theodore Roosevelt.

Theodore Roosevelt was in Installation Ceremonies, Columbia University (1902) with Nicholas Murray Butler.

Nicholas Murray Butler was in World Leaders On Peace and Democracy (1939) with Albert Einstein who later predicted that Jackie Chan would NOT become the center of the entertainment universe, but Kevin Bacon would.

Einstein's Bacon prediction came true: Turkey Bacon is processed, smoked turkey meat cut into strips that resemble, but only barely function as, bacon. Thanks to Einstein all rent-a-cops have now been referred to as, "turkey bacon," For their similar function to police.

Why then is Knievel, Evel?

 

[Mental Gridlock]

Because with so many hits to the head eventually he started getting jaded that death hadn't won yet so he declared himself Evel so that he could truly defy not only death but hell as well..

Where does the sun go when it's night?

 

[caffeinstein]

Where does the sun go when it's night?


LMN-tree, sir, it goes down.


go 1 v. went, (wnt) gone, (gôn, gn) go·ing, goes (gz)
v. intr.
goes
go along
go around
go at

go down

To drop below the horizon; set: The moon went down.
To fall to the ground: The helicopter went down in a ball of fire.
To sink: The torpedoed battleship went down.
To experience defeat or ruin.
To decrease in cost or value.


or of course the significant and most logical answer:Vulgar Slang To perform fellatio or cunnilingus.

so now you know what happens when the sun goes down, yes?


what's the correct answer to "soup 'r salad?"

 

[zoobyshoe]

what's the correct answer to "soup 'r salad?"

It's funny you should ask that quetion because it provides me with the opportunity to ignore it as you ignored mine back when mine was next to be adressed.


Recently when I was scouting around the perimeter of Area 51 I came upon a wounded wild fried egg. Slipping the delicate creature into a box I took it home and have been nursing it back to health. It is healing up nicely, but how will I know when it is really ready to be released back into the wild?

 

[Danger]

It is healing up nicely, but how will I know when it is really ready to be released back into the wild?

Found, my ass! You are obviously a poacher. It will therefore be released back into the wild at the whim of your digestive system.

Okay, 'Blinded by the Light' is on the radio right now. So I must ask, what the hell is a scurly whirly?

 

[Gokul43201]

Okay, 'Blinded by the Light' is on the radio right now. So I must ask, what the hell is a scurly whirly?

'Curly-whirly' is the only legitimate word in the English language that rhymes with 'early-pearly'.

Isn't "Blinded..." way better than any rhyming dictionary you could get you hands on ?

 

[caffeinstein]

It's funny you should ask that quetion because it provides me with the opportunity to ignore it as you ignored mine back when mine was next to be adressed.

Recently when I was scouting around the perimeter of Area 51 I came upon a wounded wild fried egg. Slipping the delicate creature into a box I took it home and have been nursing it back to health. It is healing up nicely, but how will I know when it is really ready to be released back into the wild?

Mucho mas sorry Senior Shoe. As the resident noob, I have the luxurious built-in excuse that I will now utilize just as political hacks spend political capital: "I didn't know any better." Now that I am excluded from using that excuse further, I will answer your question.

We are clearly dealing with numerology and Alphabetic harmonics here. I will prove how Danger was able to slice through your verbal distortion (exposing your poaching addiction) all while solving the Scurly Whirly question.

S is the 20th letter.
C is... 3rd
O 15th
U 22nd
T 21st This equals 81. you were walking the 'perimeter' of area 51, hence---

81/3.1415926535+51=76.783100781623978928113443909287 (ignore any miscalculations as irrelevant to the core matter.)

Now I notice in the quote above, in the first sentence you casually refrained from using the "S" in the word "question." Now, I'm a noob, but I still have observational skills, and it seems you have this affinity for missspeeling that particular word. Well, I can clearly dismiss this first "S." Thanks for that obvious clue.

What remains is "cout" which is, ironically, Galactic Standard for Tpl Rsaf, which is on PAGE 76.783100781623978928113443909287 of the G.S. Encyclopedia AND means "errrleepurrrlee" which is just a garden variety broomstick. Alas---Tpl Rsaf is the rub.

T ap the magazine
P ull the charging handle
L ook into the chamber for obstructions
R ealease the charging Handle
S trike the forward assist
A im
F ire

...which is the acronym used by the secret society of jarhead recruits to remember the proper Immediate Action excersized upon an M16A2 service rifle upon interruption in normal operation (commonly referred to as a JAM).

So now we know that not only do you poach wild fried eggs, but you use an errrleepurrrlee (aka "broomstick" or M16A2) which rhymes so well with Scurly Whirly it makes perfect sense. Special thanks here to Gokul43201.

Soup 'r Salad?

 

[zoobyshoe]

That time you were supposed to anser Gokul's quetion.

 

[caffeinstein]

Since my noob capital is spent I will act as my own defense attorney in this matter:

Originally Posted by brewnog
What are the actual rules for this thread?

Ya poot de laym in de ko-ko nut an' drink 'em bote togeddah, poot de laym in de ko-ko nut an' drink em bote up!

This single posted rule was followed explicitely- and I don't care for Lime or coconut!

Also, post #19 reflects what appears to be a forgiven, or at least quietly overlooked, departure from the question/answer "dealio."

Furthermore, I followed the rules as set forth by the accuser, I apologized immediately upon detection, I apologize again, I am obtuse, and it isn't deliberate...and I never learned to read! (looking for the sympathy vote here.)

In light of my noobidity I defer to your obvious seniority and will answer the question: Isn't "Blinded..." way better than any rhyming dictionary you could get you hands on ?

Yes, it's far superior -- except, well, nevermind. Yes.

Soup 'r Salad?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Soup 'r Salad?

This is my preferred response:
SOUP R' SALAD?! SOUP R' SALAD?! HOW DARE YOU?! I AM A FREE-THINKING BEING, DAMMIT AND I CAN CHOOSE A MULTITUDE OF THINGS WORTHY OF INGESTION, NOT JUST THE PIDDLY TWO THAT YOU SO PATHETICALLY PRESENT TO ME NOW, YOU WORTHLESS VICTIM OF THE ESTABLISHMENT... they got to you, too, didn't they? I AM NOT A BINARY AUTOMATON INCAPABLE OF MORE THAN TWO CHOICES. I MIGHT WANT TO HAVE SOUP - I MIGHT WANT SALAD - I MIGHT WANT .. something else.. I MIGHT WANT..cheese.. or waffles.. my mother used to make waffles.. BUT I DON'T NEED YOUR SOUP and I don't NEED YOUR SALAD!

But the ironic thing is that this never produces soup or salad. Only the men in the white coats with that damned needle.

Why is thorazine always the implicit third choice in these cases?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Give it up, coffeinstein, I know who you are.

 

[caffeinstein]

Why is thorazine always the implicit third choice in these cases?

When the patient decides they don't want no stinking 'super salad' it is obvious thorazine's the only obvious alternative.


How did Fermat's Last Tango give rise to Nine Inch Nails album, "The Downward Spiral?"

 

[caffeinstein]

Give it up, coffeinstein, I know who you are.

zubbyshoe,

You may now tell the audience who I am and what "it" is! I can't wait to find out myself!

caffeinstein.


How did Fermat's Last Tango give rise to the Nine Inch Nails album, "The Downward Spiral?"

 

[Mental Gridlock]

Trent Reznor, a highly cultured individual, was watching musicals like he always does, and he went to this one. He saw this 300 pound opera singer there who was one of the leads in the play. He thought, "I want to #$%@&! her like an animal!" Then he thought he needed an album name so he could release this song. Just then, as the bulky singer was making an entrance, she tripped on her high heels and went tumbling down the spiral staircase and landed flat on her face onstage. "Eureeka!" Trent shouted. All this of course after he invented his time machine to go into the future to watch the premiere of the play six years after the "Downward Spiral" was released.

Unfortunatly, Trent was missing something from his time machine, a crucial piece which due to its absence caused a rip in the fabric of space-time. What did he forget and why?

 

[The Bob]

Unfortunatly, Trent was missing something from his time machine, a crucial piece which due to its absence caused a rip in the fabric of space-time. What did he forget and why?

He forgot his common sense. That is all. He should have realized that the blue wire is connected to the brown wire so that the power would work.

Why time machines?

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[The Bob]

Why time machines?

You Shall NOT die.

Talking to myself?

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Math Is Hard]

You Shall NOT die.

Talking to myself?

The Bob (2004 ©)

Yes you are.

Who is Caffeinstein?

 

[caffeinstein]

Yes you are.

Who is Caffeinstein?

I am Caffeinstein.

Is it just coincidence that both robins wear green tights?

 

[The Bob]

Is it just coincidence that both robins wear green tights?

Robins? Robin Hood and... ?

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[zoobyshoe]

Robin Hood and... ?

It must almost certainly be Mr. Robin Parsons, although he is now just a faded green-tights memory to most.

Recently, I acquired a used old laptop made sometime in the early 1960s by the Macrohard corporation. It was equiped with Bathroomwindows '78, and that was apparently the most recent version of that popular and ubiquitous software it could possibly handle because whenever I turned it on a message appeared which said:

Frbbb Exxx & wewewe port
Sbindle dbb 234sd
I am not entirely worthy
plse insl orgnl sftwre

That just seemed wimpy, so I smacked it a few times and cried "Buck up!" because that always works in old Samurai movies when someone is chickening out. However the screen simply went blank and the unit emitted something between a balloon deflation noise and a mouthwash gargle.

I called Macrohard Tech support. The guy was very nice, and explained that I had to tap the thing firmly with a sledge hammer until it came apart into at least five pieces, carefully set it in the nearest dumpster, and then purchase a 2005 model.

In the dumpster I found a hampster chewing on this very month's issue of Laptop Lover's Journal so I took it away from the furry homeless fellow and paged through it hoping to be inspired about which new unit to purchase but it turned out to be a very strange kind of porn, so I threw it back.

How was your day?

 

[caffeinstein]

How was your day?

Fine, thanks for asking!

Who wears a black mask, yellow cape, red shirt, Green Gloves, Green Boots, and Tight Green Short-Shorts?

Star-Spangled Comics #65

 

[Math Is Hard]

That was me. I really don't want to talk about it. There's a lawsuit pending.

In the year 500 BC, the scholar, Nugelotuvus buried a scroll in the sand for his students to find. For the one who was lucky enough to find this, the inscription read: "There are 27 things you do not know. Dig deeper and you will find them." If the student dug far enough into the earth, he would find another scroll reading: "There are 26 things you do not know. Dig deeper and you will find them." What the student learned with each arduous digging was only that the next scroll was still further down.
Was any student diligent enough to find the first scroll?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Was any student diligent enough to find the first scroll?

Absolutely! In fact, they all were, and their team work was rewarded by finding that the first scroll read:

Frbbb Exxx & wewewe port
Sbindle dbb 234sd
I am not entirely worthy
plse insl orgnl sftwre

It occurred to me today that what the US military is lacking is a plane large enough to fly an entire army of 200,000 men and all necessary equipment to any point on earth. I figure it should be about two miles long, and have a three mile wingspan. It would be named The Atlas after the mythological character who was big and strong enough to hold up the earth.

Suddenly, though, I noticed a spot of dirt on the corner of the napkin I was sketching on, and I became nauseated.

Retiring to a locked interior room, I carpeted the floor with newpaper, peeled off my germ infested clothing, and lived on milk for several months, as I laboriously worked out the proper, step by step, proceedure for opening a bottle of milk. This wasn't easy.

I was nearly done, when a voice from the other side of the door interrupted my 4th, bottle-opening dress rehearsal, saying:

"Oh, Zooby, I never knew you were such a good dancer!"

That alarmed me, since I wasn't properly dressed, and, grabbing a box of tissues and my Leonardo DiCaprio mask, I flug the door open to find some person unknown seated there in an Alec Baldwin mask smoking a pipe.

"Who, the hell are you, and what does that mean?" I demanded.

"That's what I'm here to ask you!" the person retorted, handing me a scroll upon which were written the words:

Frbbb Exxx & wewewe port
Sbindle dbb 234sd
I am not entirely worthy
plse insl orgnl sftwre

"Do you want to explain what that means, please, Mr. Shoe?"

"Oh, I get it," I snarled, "I bet if I pull that Alec Baldwin mask off your face I'm going to find something not quite purple enough for most people's taste. Smething downright lavender. No?"

 

[Rabid]

No.

Who did what? When? Why and where?

 

[The Bob]

Who did what? When? Why and where?

To do with what?

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Moonbear]

"That's what I'm here to ask you!" the person retorted, handing me a scroll upon which were written the words:

Frbbb Exxx & wewewe port
Sbindle dbb 234sd
I am not entirely worthy
plse insl orgnl sftwre

"Do you want to explain what that means, please, Mr. Shoe?"

"Oh, I get it," I snarled, "I bet if I pull that Alec Baldwin mask off your face I'm going to find something not quite purple enough for most people's taste. Smething downright lavender. No?"

No. Well, yes, but not really. You see, I've been working undercover to infiltrate The Lavenders for some time now. I've had to cut all contacts with the purple jellyfish in order to avoid suspicion. One wrong move, and I'd be smeared on toast. But I finally got the code to their secret lair, and have risked exposure to bring it back to the Order of Welch. I can't talk long, or risk being uncovered; the only thing preventing that now is that the jar lid is on too tight for anyone to open.

So, really, you'll have to explain what the code means. I was able to copy it and get it to you, but don't have the tools to decipher it. All I know is that the Wewewe Port is significant. You'll have to head there and talk to the fishermen to get more information on that.

Okay, have to go. As I gain more intel. I'll try to make contact again.

Why did they have to be Lavender? Why not pink, or magenta?

 

[Astronuc]

Why did they have to be Lavender? Why not pink, or magenta?

It was a compromise!

Did the original quetion get answered??

 

[lwymarie]

Let me ask you the least stupid question:
Hi. How are you?

>_^

 

[Rabid]

Let me ask you the least stupid question:
Hi. How are you?

>_^

Because you think.


What was the original question?

 

[Moonbear]

What was the original question?

The original question was, "Hey Adam, do you like my apples?" Soon after, the apples were all made into apple butter and the rudiments of the theory of jellitivity began to take shape, or at least it's speculated to be so. The first written documents on the Theory of Jellitivity allude to this origin, but scholars studying them can't determine it conclusively yet as it's quite difficult to track the oral histories of the subject.

How did jellitivity develop from it's rudimentary apple-butter origins to the mature theory involving purple jellyfish?

 

[The Bob]

How did jellitivity develop from it's rudimentary apple-butter origins to the mature theory involving purple jellyfish?

The apple was hard to remove. Slow distillation and filtration until it is removed. Then the butter is chernd (?) more so that it is more jellified. This takes millions of years and then you have jelly fish.

It is a slow process but why?

The Bob (2004 ©)