Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

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The discussion revolves around a playful and humorous exchange in a new forum, encouraging participants to ask "stupid questions" and receive equally silly answers. Participants engage in lighthearted banter, often incorporating puns and wordplay, such as discussing the time it might take to reach 1,000 posts or the best superpower, with self-levitation being a favorite. Questions range from the absurd, like the fate of old forums, to whimsical inquiries about elephants and the universe. The tone is irreverent, with users joking about the nature of their questions and the concept of "stupidity" in their responses. The thread serves as a space for creative and nonsensical dialogue, emphasizing fun over seriousness.
  • #2,951
Do you suppose he'll make another tired remake of Rocky?

One of the questions that have plagued philosophers since the dawn of modern man is this exact conundrum. If it is possible to make a rock, would it be possible to make the same rock the same again with their distinctive features already intact; fish with fins and scales; birds with wings, feathers, beaks etc.? Naturally, the blind watchmaker could indeed give rise to the devil's chaplain through the evolutionary processes that is conveniently labeled as the selfish gene. Perhaps a better angle to view the problems through is thinking it of as a river out of eden. Like a river, poor remakes of movies that where bad to begin with are indeed vacuous precis som om det hade varit en helt annan grej, som typ en bok, vars anagram became: Dog: Charles Darwin did OK in the US. To really follow the argument to its logical conclusion, what would our ancestors have responded to the sun rise? Our Ancestors' Tale is indeed rich of predictions on whether it is possible to climb a very high mountain. It is so improbable that we can even label it as climbing Mt. Improbable.

How low can I go?
 
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  • #2,952
Not lower than the limbo bar.

Are Jamacans really obsessed with limbo?
 
  • #2,953
Math Jeans said:
Not lower than the limbo bar.

Are Jamacans really obsessed with limbo?
No, only with the limbo bar. If your soul is going to be sequestered for what may be an eternity, it's nice to have a place to get liquid refreshments while you're there.

How low can you go?
 
  • #2,954
Lower than Moridin.

How many Scovilles does it take to burn a hole in a person's skin?
 
  • #2,955
About 1,800,000 which corresponds to the level of hotness of a half-naked, limbo dancing, Jamaican seagull.

If god exists, does she believe in herself, does she have faith in her omni-powers or does she have self-confidence issues like most girls do?

(Hello to all of you! I'm new here! :þ)
 
  • #2,956
No, she has PMS and is quite angry you asked, she will be sending you a lightning bolt to the rear asap.

Will I win the lottery?
 
  • #2,957
You already have.

I think Hell just froze over. What should I do?
 
  • #2,958
Wear a toque.

Are we there yet?
 
  • #2,959
You asked me that ten years ago and the answer is still no.

Where are we supposed to be going anyway?
 
  • #2,960
To Hell in a handbasket.

What's in your handbasket, Dorothy?
 
  • #2,961
A can of corned hand-Toto's Favorite!

Do you want a dancing monkey?
 
  • #2,962
No I want a naughty zebra.

So what's the moral of the story?
 
  • #2,963
Always keep your jellyfishes and your condoms away from naughty zebras.

What happens if you put all your eggs in one handbasket?
 
  • #2,964
You make a really big omelet and throw the shells on the compost pile.

Speaking of compost, I have one in my backyard. It started out as a trash dump because I was too lazy to bring my refuse to the public dump. Then the neighbors complained and showed me some city ordnance that prohibits private dumping in residential areas. So I spent weeks removing all the recyclables and nonbiodegradable matter. What I was left with was a rather large, steaming pile of kitchen compost. According to the city ordnance there are no regulations against compost piles in my area. So now that is where I dump all my biodegradable kitchen scraps and lawn clippings.

At first I let my refuse pile sit there just to annoy my neighbors, but last year I noticed that the compost melted the snow around the pile. The process of decomposing generates quite a bit of heat. One of my neighbors offered to take the compost to keep her plants from freezing in the winter. I considered this a clever trick to remove the public eyesore I was so proud of, however, her proposal did give me another useful idea.

I'm thinking of using compost to heat my house in the winter time. I figure a pile in every room should be enough to keep me warm and save me lots of money on heating expenses. I also don't have to take out the trash anymore or bag loads of leaves and grass clippings. I just throw my trash on the floor and use a wheelbarrow to cart my lawn garbage indoors. There I dump it in whichever room I want to be warmer. When summer comes around I'll just wheel it out to my backyard again. I can save hundreds of dollars every year and brag about how green I am to all the environmentalists.

My only quetion is, what can I do about the smell?
 
  • #2,965
Get used to it and make your guests wear gas masks.

Should I wear a gas mask during flu season?
 
  • #2,966
Depends on what kind of gas you've got the mask hooked up to.

I have two big compost bins. Why do I bother heating with a wood stove?
 
  • #2,967
turbo-1 said:
I have two big compost bins. Why do I bother heating with a wood stove?
Because, despite having read the instructions for your Do-It-Yourself Backyard Breeder Reactor three times you still can't find where it says what animal you're supposed to breed with it to get it started.

Recently I purchased a Do-It-Yourself Backyard Breeder Reactor. I've read the instructions three times, but I'm still confused. What animal are you supposed to fling via trebuchet at a horde of attacking double-pawed kittens?
 
  • #2,968
A male lycanthropic starfish.

Are starfishes hunted down by paparazzi?
 
  • #2,969
Zbornak said:
Are starfishes hunted down by paparazzi?
Starfishes are attention whores who lounge around just begging to have their photographs taken, never attempting to escape the flash-bulbed hunters, so, no. Too easy.

Recently I received an "expiry" notice from an internet forum where I post saying my subscription was soon to require renewal.

Reaching into my wallet for my credit card I discovered, to my amazement, that my credit card was being chewed upon by a smallish, yellow starfish. Unable to believe my eyes I said to it: "Who are you, and where the hell is the octopus I keep in my wallet to guard my credit card?"

Pausing from his meal, the starfish looked up at me and said: "I am wearing a plaid kilt and you must put the "bag" back into "bagpipes".

Why do starfishes always talk with their mouth full?
 
  • #2,970
zoobyshoe said:
Why do starfishes always talk with their mouth full?
It's all explained in Gnarles Jarvin's theory of Jellovution and in the excellent work by Hertzell and Russprung on starfish jellovution...

The early starfish - protostarfish - figured out that every time they opened their mouths to speak, the sea would rush in, resulting in unpleasant, gagging sensations. The dull starfish couldn't figure out a solution to this problem, and jellovolved into brown barfs, a species of star-creature doomed to a life of silence. Jarvin also explains how some of these brown barfs walked out of the sea and became Benedictine monks, but that's a different story.

Now, the really bright starfish, however, jellovolved into a species capable of speaking while swallowing vast amounts of sea (and tiny seacreatures), and a small number of these fat slobs consumed so much sea-mass that they collapsed into the most singular seacreatures ever: the black gobholes.

The rest is history...we've all read what Alfred, Hundredshaker, Rogets Pentarose and Stevie Shocking have had to say about the starfish: that they're perfectly disgusting things with absolutely no sense of decency (they eat with five elbows on the table).

So, lately I've heard rumors that all the starfish are slowly drifting towards an unobservable object that jellitivists and gobsmologists are calling the dark platter. I think that's a bunch of jellyslime.

But I'm rambling...so what was this all about anyway?
 
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  • #2,971
Gokul43201 said:
...so what was this all about anyway?
I'm certain I'm sure, maybe, but I can't tell.

In the meantime I think you may have opened a can of weird, purple jellyfish by raising the thorny subject of Jellovution. It begs the quetion:

Could "all this" have actually merely jellovolved, by weird, purple selection, or was it created, deliberately, according to some Ententicled Design?
 
  • #2,972
I was looking through my telescope last night. I stood hunched over the eye-piece wearing a purple, hooded sweatshirt with my hands balled up and stuffed in the pocket to ward off the cold. After several hours I noticed a strange, blurry object writhing about at the edge of my view. It seemed to resist any attempts for me to focus on it, sometimes squirming across the heavens at unimaginable velocity to excape my observation. Finally, as I was about to scream in frustration, an image began to appear.

I was looking across the universe at myself, standing hunched over a telescope wearing a purple sweatshirt with my hands stuffed in the pocket. My image appeared to be as surprised as I at this spectacle. Suddenly he turned around and looked at me. The face staring at me was not my own, but that of a weird, purple, ententicled jellyfish.

I felt suddenly as though I could not breath. As hard as I tried to inhale I seemed to have no lungs to hold air. My heart was gone too, with all my blood, evaporated into the ether. I tried to run but found that my bones had disolved and left my limbs flapping like grammy's underarms. I tried to look for help, but I had no eyes to see. I could feel my consciousness expanding and contracting, drifting back across the universe. . Then I thinks to myself, "Oh noes" and realize I have no brain to think. All that is left is this feeling of being all groovy and purple, with tentacles.

Next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed, but for some reason it is in the backyard. I spit the end of my telescope out of my mouth and hear my friends laughing at me from the porch. I throw off the covers, scattering empty cans and bottles across the yard, and run to the bathroom. After emptying the contents of my stomach in the sink I hardly notice the genetalia drawn on my face in indelible marker or that half my head is shaved. All I could remember was that weird, groovy, purple feeling. It must be jellativity.

I'm not sure if "all this" merely jellovolved by weird purple selection or if it was created deliberately through Ententicled Design. Was my experience some vision of jellovolution of humanity, or was it just the Ententicled Design of some inebriated college fraternity guys?
 
  • #2,973
Huckleberry said:
I Was my experience some vision of jellovolution of humanity, or was it just the Ententicled Design of some inebriated college fraternity guys?

Er, the latter.

Is there an end to all this jellitivity?
 
  • #2,974
madcat11 said:
Er, the latter.

Is there an end to all this jellitivity?
Yes! I seriously ain't gellin' unless it involves my wife's wonderful hot chili jelly. Mmmmm.

Why do we invite turkeys to Thanksgiving dinner? I invite my father, but he always gets to go home after.
 
  • #2,975
I guess that inviting Mr. Bush for dinner is a guilty pleasure. Gobble gobble!


What really happened in Tunguska and did chili jelly have anything to do with it?
 
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  • #2,976
In a very possible future I will get my PhD in Astrophysics and use that knowledge for evil. Using neutrino based communications technologies I will phone up an alien empire, and wager which one of us can eat their weight in chili jelly first. My winning the bet will upset the aliens greatly and in an attempt to wipe me from the timeline they will attack Earth with a large chili-jelly-based weapon of mass destruction. Failing miserably they will kidnap and anally probe rednecks for at least 100 years.


How much like an expostition scene on an Oliver Stone movie was that, and was chili jelly involved with that as well?
 
  • #2,977
You should realize you have just changed the future through the act of asking that question. On the other side of the office that has the portal to John Malkovich's mind hidden behind a filing cabinet is a portal to Oliver Stone's stomach hidden behind a water cooler. I had read your quetion the other day, and being keen on adding new flavors to my pallet, I decided to try some of this chili jelly you spoke of. Anyway, I hear a gurgle from behid the water cooler and I go over there, lunch in hand, to investigate. Upon opening the door I was blasted by a wave of noxious fumes. In my surprise I dropped my lunch in the doorway before quickly slamming it closed. The very next day I read in the tabloids that Oliver Stone was working on a new film called Gleeful Nihilism, with the premise of an alien culture invading Earth with large chili-jelly based weapons. Hillbillies take up their plastic sporks in defense of the human race. I'm sure it will be another blockbuster for the acclaimed director. Ironically, a google search of "Oliver Stone want chili-jelly" leads to post #2978 on the Physics Forums website. The posting members alias is Gleeful Nihilism. I think you should demand royalties.

All this talk of chilli-jelly has made me hungry. Whenever I think about food I also think about my mother. Not being the most family oriented child I didn't call my mother until last weekend to inquire about how her Thanksgiving holiday went. Everything was as usual at home as expected, but at the end of the phone conversation I was baffled by her parting gesture. My mother told me that she loves me and I replied, "I can believe that you do, but how do I really know that? The fact that you raised me probably counts as good anecdotal evidence, but I would like a lie detector test and a brain scan of neural activity while experiencing the emotion of love. I need measurable variables to verify the factual authenticity of that statement." Ofcourse, I was only kidding, but the long silence on the phone suggested to me that my mother was actually considering my response. So I curiously awaited her response. She said, "What does measurement have to do with my feelings?" I didn't have an answer for her query.

When next I call my mother, how should I answer her question?
 
  • #2,978
When you call you mother, you should demand measurement so that you know that her affection is directed at you. Case in point: a near-sighted dowager totters into her living room and experiences a flash of affection for her Shih Tzu which quickly fades when she realizes she's not looking at the yappy little mutt, but at a scarf which had fallen on the floor. How does this relate to you? Your mother may have seen you sleeping in your crib and felt that same flash of affection until she realized that little pink object was not the ham that she was planning on cooking for dinner. Remember, trust but verify.

A chickadee can say its own name, as can a whippoorwill, and a phoebe. Why hasn't the tufted tit-mouse picked up this very basic skill?
 
  • #2,979
The guy who was put in charge of naming rodents was nearly deaf. You aren't squeezing them hard enough. Try a vice. A mousetrap might work also. I know I say "tufted tit-mouse" every time I've ever got my toe sprung in a mouse trap.

Does this mean I am a tufted tit-mouse or that deaf guys shouldn't use onomatopoeias when naming the animals they are responsible for?
 
  • #2,980
I can only assume by the lack of a reply that I am a tufted tit-mouse and nobody had the heart to point it out to me. It's not nearly as difficult to adapt to this new situation as I thought it would be, and it explains a great deal about my midnight cravings for all things cheesy delicious.

I was visiting an old abandoned desert mine with a tufted tit-mouse friend of mine. We spelunked down into a dark cavern wearing adorable little mouse lighted helmets. There was an object placed in the center of the cavern with a canvas over it. Upon removing the guano-covered canvas, much to our surprise, we discovered a pristine '67 Shelby Cobra.

After a few moments of absorbing this information I stated the obvious, "How does a '67 Shelby Cobra get into the bottom of a mine shaft?" My tit-mouse friend replied "It must be a natural phenomena, perhaps one of those incredible cases of quantum tunneling that is possible in theory. We should investigate." I was a bit hungry and wanted to go back outside and enjoy a nice mid-day meal in the shade so I told him, "Don't waste your energy. The simple answer is that some crazy guy decided this would be a good place to reassemble his automobile. Let's have lunch before he comes back to check on it."

So we replaced the canvas and scrambled out of the mine to enjoy our meal. We didn't speak much, each of us wondering the same quetion,...

Is there any rational explanation for the existence of a '67 Shelby Cobra to be at the bottom of a mine shaft?
 
  • #2,981
Is there any rational explanation for the existence of a '67 Shelby Cobra to be at the bottom of a mine shaft?

It is a long story, but it all began with a flame war I had with some market anarchists that where part of the Ayn Rand objectivist cult. After four hours or so, the dust had settled and we'd pretty much exhausted ourselves.

Actually, while Rand and other unrealistic, maleficent airheads sometimes differ on the details and scale of their upcoming campaigns of terror they never fail to agree on the basic principle and substance. Hence, it is imperative that you understand that we must give to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance. When she was first found trying to do everything possible to keep gritty champions of deceit, lies, theft, plunder, and rapine inimical and contentious, I was scared. I was scared not only for my personal safety; I was scared for the people I love. And now that Rand is planning to fund a vast web of bad-tempered, spineless yahoos, batty lowbrows, and grotesque lugs, I'm downright terrified. She claims that there should be publicly financed centers of demagogism. Well, I beg to differ. The time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must sincerely push the envelope on our knowledge of the world around us. The first step in that process is to realize that a person who wants to get ahead should try to understand the long-range consequences of his/her actions. Rand has never had that faculty. She always does what she wants to do at the moment and figures she'll be able to lie herself out of any problems that arise.

People used to think I was exaggerating whenever I said that Rand has OD'd on sexism. After seeing Rand promote violence in all its forms -- physical, sexual, psychological, economical, and social -- these same people now realize that I wasn't exaggerating at all. In fact, they even realize that it seems that no one else is telling you that Rand has no soul. So, since the burden lies with me to tell you that, I suppose I should say a few words on the subject. To begin with, Rand's licentious fulminations often resemble an inverted fairy tale in that the triumph of innocence comes at the start and the ugly sisters of antagonism and recidivism enter on stage in triumph for the final curtain. With Rand's convictions hanging over us like the Sword of Damocles, it makes sense that we need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with Rand. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that the last time I told Rand's trained seals that I want to expose injustice and puncture prejudice they declared in response, "But the only way to expand one's mind is with drugs -- or maybe even chocolate." Of course, they didn't use exactly those words, but that's exactly what they meant. At this point, our task is to answer the power-hungry chiselers who pass off all sorts of ophidian and obviously termagant stuff on others as a so-called "inner experience". Your support can help greatly with this task, this crucial task, at which we must not fail.

So, what is your experience of the experience of experience?
 
  • #2,982
It sounds to me that this Rand creature you describe has been torn straight from the pages of some fairy tale, cut short at the part where children are most frightened and hide their faces under pillows, pleading to their parents not to continue. What a terrible shadow she must cast on the world when she dares walk in daylight; a cursed specter; a wailing banshee, sent to sear it's horrific visage and tormenting syllables into vulnerable minds. If one looks only to the horizontally linear cardinal directions, no matter which way they look there seems to be a broom-straddling, wicked witch swooping down on them, closely followed by an army of deep-throated, vowel chanting, winged apes. But don't be afraid. She is just a plot device in a fictional story, and turning away at the climax can create the impression of an inverted fairy tale. In the resolution to stories told to children by parents that love them, the villian always gets what she deserves, and the moral of the story is apparent to all who had the courage to finish it. Heroes persevere and villians persecute. That has been my experience of the experience of experience.

This is a trick quetion. What happens when a materialist convention and a solipsist convention are scheduled for the same place and time?
 
  • #2,983
Huckleberry said:
This is a trick quetion. What happens when a materialist convention and a solipsist convention are scheduled for the same place and time?

um, they become pist? they liszt to port, or they make the best-dresed liszt. Or they liszten to Polish muzak.
 
  • #2,984
jim mcnamara said:
um, they become pist?

Probably.

Why do birds eat my portion of the worms?
 
  • #2,985
joeyar said:
Probably.

Why do birds eat my portion of the worms?
They are entitled.

Do you mean your intestinal worms?
 
  • #2,986
No I mean the worms in my brain.

Will broccoli scare the birds off?
 
  • #2,987
joeyar said:
No I mean the worms in my brain.

Will broccoli scare the birds off?
No. Broccoli has worms and will attract birds like crazy.

If you take out your brain and soak it in a saturate solution of NaCl, will it drive out the worms like it does in broccoli?
 
  • #2,988
Yes, but it will attract wasps.

Do wasps eat TNT?
 
  • #2,989
The Alien Stuff

Do aliens eat broccoli? :bugeye:

--------------------------------
I am in love with this site.


XXXxx
 
  • #2,990
When they stop by my place they usually ask for water, and sometimes food, but have never specifically asked for broccoli. I have never thought to ask them if they would like to eat broccoli. There was one who I invited inside and when it saw the bag of frozen cauliflower I had in my freezer it became quite excited. So I gave him a bowl of cauliflower with some butter and saltines. Then the government came to my door and took the alien away.

Where does the government take all these aliens?
 
  • #2,991
Huckleberry said:
Where does the government take all these aliens?


I hear that brocolli grows wild at area 51

Is cauliflower an alternative?
 
  • #2,992
Its never a alternative, our "guests" think its just nasty.

Why did my groundhog not come out of its den on feb2?
 
  • #2,993
Because his wife needed him to clean.

My broom is broken. What should I use?
 
  • #2,994
Your will power.

What shouldn't you use?
 
  • #2,995
I read a Darwin Award about this guy that had a groundhog problem. The crafty bugger just couldn't be caught. So one day in a fit of foamy rage the man decided to rig up his entire lawn with electric rods. Then he soaked the ground and turned on the power. There was no dead groundhog, but the man ended up electrocuting himself. So, yeah, don't use that.

When would be a good time to use electrified rods?
 
  • #2,996
When would be a good time to use electrified rods?

Um, at 2 o'clock on Saturday morning when the neighbor's kids; who have been up partying all night with their friends because the folks are out of town; have decided to use your pool without your permission? 1 rod at either end should do the trick. :-)

Hmm...electrified rods. Would that too much like giving them the shaft?
 
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  • #2,997
I want answer please
if the life of an atom is 9*10^9
92 Electrons in the atom 92
Charge=-1,6*10^-19
-1,104*10^17 Charge what is the age of that atom
 
  • #2,998
samaya said:
I want answer please
if the life of an atom is 9*10^9
92 Electrons in the atom 92
Charge=-1,6*10^-19
-1,104*10^17 Charge what is the age of that atom

It's at least a teenager.

What's a two-letter word for cheese?
 
  • #2,999
Math Is Hard said:
It's at least a teenager.

What's a two-letter word for cheese?

Blue Cheese

How many numbers are there between 1 and 2.
 
  • #3,000
3!
That was easy.
Because if I have 1 and you have 2, then between us, we have 3.

So my question is why do you have more than I?
 
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