Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[ah87]

Is Quantum Mind ********?

How much physics is there in psychophysics?

 

[Math Jeans]

As much as the phycho says there is.

What happened to Alfred Hitchcock?

 

[Will M]

he was attacked by a flock of birds while cleaning his bathroom sink out

If you named a burger chain Heisenburger, would you be able to tell what was in the food and how much it cost at the same time?

 

[Crazy Tosser]

No. A good lawyer could prove the burgers were actually cats in boxes with explosives.

Procrastination: If nobody minds, does it really matter?

Spoiler

Procrastination = Mind/Matter
Matter x Procrastination = Mind
Matter = Mind/Procrastination
If Mind=0
Matter = 0/Procrastination=0

 

[Math Jeans]

That question cannot be answered as the proof loops into a division by 0.

What makes 0 so special anyway?

 

[tim_lou]

wow... this thread is longggg...

oh yeah, the question... because zero, unlike any other integer, doesn't equal to any integer not equal to zero.

So... yeah knock knock... who isn't there?

 

[Montag42]

i'm not.

Am i really a sentient AI program running on John Travoltas laptop?

 

[adicabrady]

I'm not sure.John travolta is from my home town & he had a computer when he was a kid.That thing took up the room.I heard that he sold it though. I have spent days reading this thread.I got to page 68 & thencheated because I havean exceedingly important quetion.I started reading a series of books in 1990.the series reached 11 books and then the author died.I would like to know if it takes a dead person longer to write a book than alive one.You know getting adjusted to a new place 7 all.

 

[adicabrady]

Please stick to this threads format. I have STILL not received an answer to my quetion.How long does it take for a dead person to ghost write a book?Also do ghosts write with a pen or type?

 

[Moridin]

Please stick to this threads format. I have STILL not received an answer to my quetion.How long does it take for a dead person to ghost write a book?Also do ghosts write with a pen or type?

I shall spare you a detailed description of a materialist argument against that position. mostly because I am a dead person, and i do not want to ghost write this post and later turn it into a book.

So how do you turn a PF post into a book?

 

[llauren84]

Copy and paste.

Why am I not doing my physics homework?

 

[adicabrady]

You are not doing your physics homework because it has been discovered that there is no such thing as physics.It was invented by a group of old white men,who thought if they made it hard to learn;they could profit off it.Also,they could look and sound intelligent.They were pompous old chaps. quetion-How did they pull off this con job and why did the world fall for it?

 

[llauren84]

The world fell for for it because what Einstein said about human stupidity is true ("Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe"). These old chaps were at least bright enough realize and just decided to capitalize. =)

What con job would you like to do?

 

[adicabrady]

The 'job' I am working on now is becoming 'Emperor of the World'.I have many plans when I finally achieve this.My most important accomplishment will be the sentences that I (or should I make that a royal We) will impose on fat,hirsute,gross men,who refuse to wear shirts in public.We (I) will first give said person a fine depending on how repulsive it is,second offense will be a larger fine,third offense is mandatory life in prison.Quetion-If said offender does not wear a shirt in prison,should we execute him?

 

[tormund]

wutz ur favorite type uv cheese??

 

[adicabrady]

I will ignore 'tormund' being he is too rude to answer my quetion.According to 'holy law',it is a sin to ask a quetion without first giving an answer.I will pray for his soul,although I fear it will not matter,his antisocial behavior demonstrates a grievous unwillingness to conform to mandatory spiritual principles.I would be exceedingly grateful if a pious person (or parson) would answer my original quetion'what punishment for the jailed non-shirt-wearing-hirsute-man?

 

[Math Is Hard]

I will ignore 'tormund' being he is too rude to answer my quetion.According to 'holy law',it is a sin to ask a quetion without first giving an answer.I will pray for his soul,although I fear it will not matter,his antisocial behavior demonstrates a grievous unwillingness to conform to mandatory spiritual principles.I would be exceedingly grateful if a pious person (or parson) would answer my original quetion'what punishment for the jailed non-shirt-wearing-hirsute-man?

I will appeal to Ptolemy IV who wrote, "Let us hold him down and wax him, and he will no longer inflict quite such grievous offense upon our eyes."

What is the appropriate punishment for a display of Plumber's Cleavage?

 

[adicabrady]

I (we) did not remember the exact punishment for that,so to make sure I (we) gave you the precise,up to date,fair penalty for that heinous offense ,I (we) checked 'The Holy Book' You know the Book.It is mandatory reading (at least an hour a day,except,of course Tuesday).The sentence is (as I'm (we're) sure you remember)forfeiture of one body part.Said body part is of the offender's choosing.Keep in mind,that part must be jointed.Which body part do the most people pick & why?

 

[Mentallic]

Which body part do the most people pick & why?

The nose, for its infamous delicacies.

If I were to drive up to a girl's house, should I:
a) honk coz horny
b) rev the engine
c) all of the below
d) all of the above

 

[llauren84]

Well that's a trick question. You left out the choice e) call the girl and ask her to go out.

How many hours is too many hours for studying?

 

[Mentallic]

How many hours is too many hours for studying?

For all x\leq 0, where x = hours

Is this the part where I ask a question?

 

[llauren84]

No, that was the part where you ask a question. This is the part where I answer a question.

Where do headaches come from?

 

[alxm]

Where do headaches come from?

Norway?

 

[quantumdude]

Hard swung hammers to the noggin.

If mechanics work on cars, then what do quantum mechanics work on?

 

[llauren84]

Really fast cars.

So headaches are Nowegian?

 

[alxm]

If mechanics work on cars, then what do quantum mechanics work on?

Minibuses like the Toyota Quantum?

 

[Redbelly98]

It's uncertain.

Is answering a question with a question an efficient way to respond in this thread?

 

[lisab]

It's uncertain.

Is answering a question with a question an efficient way to respond in this thread?

Well, is it?

 

[khemix]

Well, is it?

Is what?

 

[Mentallic]

Is what?

How would I know?

 

[Ofey]

How would I know?

Do you have to know to answer?

 

[Evo]

The rules of the game are to give a stupid answer AND THEN ask a stupid quetion.

 

[Mentallic]

The rules of the game are to give a stupid answer AND THEN ask a stupid quetion.

Stupidly, I would agree to your proposition.

If one breaks the rules of the game, is this punishable by death?

 

[adicabrady]

No,it is not punishable by death.Members of 'Stupid Quetion' hunt down the offender & bring him to court to decide his penance.The offender might be made to muck out New York sewer systems,right out a 10000 word apology,give homeless people new hairdos etc...What is the harshist fine that they have levied?

 

[Mkbul]

No,it is not punishable by .Members of 'Stupid Quetion' hunt down the offender & bring him to court to decide his penance.The offender might be made to muck out New York sewer systems,right out a 10000 word apology,give homeless people new hairdos etc...What is the harshist fine that they have levied?

Mine :P


Why this to me?

 

[Brilliant!]

What are the other ways to skin a cat?

 

[Fragment]

All the ways you can't think of.

How can there be self-help groups?

 

[madcat11]

What is the harshist fine that they have levied?

[okay, i'll bite...] infinite stupidity re stupid quetions

what is the stupidest quetion thus far (she said, managing to say "stupid" three - wait, no! four! - times in the last two sentences)

 

[adicabrady]

The one you just asked .It has already been asked in this thread.Why can't people come up with original stupid quetions?Are they too stupid to ask a stupid quetion?" No,forget those quetions.I want to known,can a person be so stupid that they can't conceive of a stupid quetion?

 

[zoobyshoe]

I want to known,can a person be so stupid that they can't conceive of a stupid quetion?

It's well known that this can be statistically extrapolated from a person's S.Q. (Stupidity Quotient) which is always a non-positive, irrational number, with no fixed value since it is always defined as a non-linear acceleration directly downwind, faster than the wind. When the square root of this number is multiplied by its inverse square, then beaten flat to a thickness of .002 inches by Afgani craftsmen, it can be applied as a conductive surface to dried gourds (and other vegetables), electrically charged, and the charge measured and added to pet food, for quantum nutritional purposes. Makes for shiney eyes, splendid fur, and improved vocal qualities (even in iguanas.)

However, you should check that because it's all from memory of my June 13th, 1987 reading of Granger's seminal 1957 paper On the Possibility of a Quantum Limit To Stupidity (Granger, et al, Journal of Quantum Stupidity, Fall Quarter, 1957 pp 35-39).

Regardless, it has been reported recently that the furry singing iguanas of the Fagistan Archipelapagos are on the brink of extinction due to poor marketing strategies resulting in low sales volume. I heard this tragic news with a sharp twinge of indifference that left me wondering: Is anyone really going to care if they go extinct?

 

[adicabrady]

Zooby,I am amazed.Your apathy is only surpassed by my own.I have visions of myself being the envy of all women when they see me in my one of a kind ,singing lizard fur.Actually,the more I think of it,YES.I will have that coat made & then personally make sure all of the other lizards are destroyed.I WILL have the ONLY coat.I can picture how lovely I will look on the cover of ' Vouge ' What method should I use to make sure that after my lovely fur is made that all other lizards will be destroyed & no copies of my coat should be made?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What method should I use to make sure that after my lovely fur is made that all other lizards will be destroyed & no copies of my coat should be made?

I'm not sure. The Furry Singing Iguanas of the Fagistan Archipelapagos, is, you may or may not know, a group of homosexual musicians specializing in Polka/Mariachi fusion. They don't actually have fur. Therefore, I don't see any direct route to a fur coat from that source.

Speaking of "Vouge", however, reminds me of the anecdote about the spooneristic Frenchman. That anecdote, in turn, reminds me of the First Amendment, for obvious reasons.

It should come as no surprise, therefore, to encounter me posing the logically following quetion: why don't we do it in the road?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Note to newcomers: This thread is a game with rules. Please answer the previous quetion first, and then you may ask your own quetion.

 

[adicabrady]

Zoob,I'm confused.Was that a come-on? Are you having fantasies of 'doing it in the road' with furry singing iguanas serenading us?My favorite music is Polka/Mariachi ,so this does sound romantic. Still,I do think a courtship of at least,oh say,one year would be in order.I could be persuaded to lessen that amount of time if you have found an exquisite,romantic road. What special qualities would that road have to possesses for me to give up my chastity in undo haste?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What special qualities would that road have to possesses for me to give up my chastity in undo haste?

I suppose you're going to be picky and demand a stretch of road where there aren't a lot of chickens crossing to get to the other side.

Speaking of roads, which all lead to Rome, where, upon arrival, you should do as the Romans do, it occurred to me once, when I was gladiating in the Colosseum, that roaming on a road out of Rome might take you to Rhodes. But it might not. In something of the manner of Xeno's Paradox, it might lead you back to Rome instead. Since that's where all roads lead. In which case, there is no significant difference between Rome and the Hotel California. Therefore, why is it so difficult to find a woman who doesn't object to a chicken stampede or two when we're doing it in the road?

 

[Gokul43201]

Therefore, why is it so difficult to find a woman who doesn't object to a chicken stampede or two when we're doing it in the road?

Sorry to interrupt your little road trip with your roadie friend, but your quetion is ill-posed. How difficult is "so difficult"? That was not my quetion; I was being rhestorical. But setting rhestorical quetions on the far side of the road for the moment, and getting to the likely intent of your quetion, I believe the answer may be that women, presumably like men, are not particularly into tarring and feathering.

Have you tried asking any men about chicken stampedes, while you're doing it in the road with them? That was a rhestorical quetion too, but anser me this: so we know where the S went, but where's W?

 

[zoobyshoe]

so we know where the S went, but where's W?

Third shelf from the bottom of the bookcase on the north wall of the living room of the upper duplex at 2245 Rossly Avenue, Schenecdedy, New York, U.S.A.

Several months ago when I was lounging in the sun on the back patio of the cafe, La Souris Perdue, a young lady of my acquaintance began to earnestly explain to me that the human being was more closely related, genetically, to the fruit fly than to any other animal. I chuckled, and began to explain to her that she'd garbled the facts up quite a bit, but she flew away.

It is said that time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana. It is also said that you are what you eat. Bananas, therefore, are actually fruit flies.

But what do bananas eat?

 

[adicabrady]

Zooby,I am shocked that you don't know what bananas eat.They eat baby Zoobies ! Haven't you noticed that you have been losing members of your race at extremely large rates since bananas tricked your kind into importing them. Why don't you do some research & find out exactly how those sneaky bananas deceived your people? I will suggest if you could find a rare copy of 'Banana Warfare' written in the early 1900's by an eminent sociologist named Zigmoid Bananabread,that you could avert more possible disaster.There are not many copies left of this most important work.The bananas found out about this (from their point of view) treachery & destroyed all the books they could.Also,being the books were written on banana parchment some rotted. I know at least one exists, because 8 years ago,when I was homeless in Cambridge,Ma. while I was grubbing for spare change for food,a Harvard student kindly gave me said book to eat.I,unfortunately,sold it to a used bookstore for the princely price of $2.50,which enabled me to get a most delicious hamburger. So,sorry, I sold the book,I didn't know it would become so important. Can this book be found & bananas be stopped before they commit genocide on Zoob's people?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Can this book be found & bananas be stopped before they commit genocide on Zoob's people?

As a matter of fact, Zigmoid Bananabread is a close friend of mine. I first met him, by accident, on a cruise aboard the Steamer South Sea !pod bound for the Fagistan Archipelapagos out of Buenos Aires. He approached me as I was lounging on the quarterdeck during a sleetstorm to inquire what I was reading. Since I wasn't reading at the time I determined he was delerious from accute mal du mer and I threw him overboard, evasively, before he vomited all over the place.

The second time I met him was on purpose when I spotted him approaching me with a scimitar in the streets of New Delhi, bent on revenge for the events of our previous meeting. This was several years later, give or take a decade, and I'd forgotten all about it, and bore him no grudge. We've been great pals ever since.

At some point around this time Zigmoid lost his head in a scimitar accident in New Delhi and now suffers from that mysterious neurological condition known as Phantom Head Syndrome. He is convinced he can still feel his lost head and frequently complains of terrible headaches. Additionally he claims he can feel it when you put your hand in the vicinity of the missing body part, and he must take pains to avoid bumping the phantom head against tree limbs and swing sets. Harder to believe are his claims he can still think with the absent head, but, uncanny as it seems I tested him and found he was able to do simple addition and subtraction, as well as a few more complex cognitive tasks. "I don't know how to explain it" he said to me once, "It just feels like it's still there."

Contrast this with the case of Arthur F., an electrician and weekend ghosthunter, whose Phantom Limbs were severed from his body in a scimitar fight with a ghost. Now, though he appears to any onlooker to be completely whole, he is completely unable to experience sensations of pins and needles or other phantom pains in his bodily arms or legs. Relegated to being completely corporeal he bemoans the days when he could touch and wrestle with ghosts, pookas, and other phantoms, and has nothing but a life of an ordinary electrician to look forward to.

Are there any loose ends?

 

[adicabrady]

What a coincidence that you mention loose ends!I went to see my psychiatrist this week & he told me that the results of my brain scan came back in.THE SCAN SHOWS MILLIONS OF LOOSE ENDS IN MY BRAIN! Naturally,I am panicked.This,of course,explains all the ridiculous problems I have had living my life.All the myriad addictions,homelessness,family problems,etc... Everything is due to loose ends.I am having surgery scheduled as soon as possible.Does anyone know how the surgeon will tie up these loose ends?Or maybe they will just remove them?Answer fast,I am terrified!