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I am also told that because of Hawking radiation all black holes will evaporate fully in a finite (maybe very long) time. Therefore, from the point of view of a distant observer the black hole will actually disappear before the in-falling person crosses over the event horizon.

How is it possible that from one point of view a person can fall into the singularity being destroyed forever, while from another point of a view after a finite amount of time the in-falling person never even crosses into the black hole and can even rejoin the far away observer.