Breaking News: Wilting in Plants Caused by Internet Trolls

[Drakkith]

Per wikipedia's article on wilting: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilting

Wilting refers to the loss of rigidity of non-woody parts of plants. This occurs when the turgor pressure in non-lignified plant cells falls towards zero, as a result of diminished water in the cells. The process of wilting modifies the leaf angle distribution of the plant (or canopy) towards more erectophile conditions.

Lower water availability may result from:

drought conditions, where the soil moisture drops below conditions most favorable for plant functioning;
the temperature falls to the point where the plants vascular system can not function.
high salinity, which causes water to diffuse from the plant cells and induce shrinkage;
saturated soil conditions, where roots are unable to obtain sufficient oxygen for cellular respiration, and so are unable to transport water into the plant; or
bacteria or fungi that clog the plant's vascular system.
Internet trolls have clogged the plant's vascular system.

Edited the article. The article before the revision can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wilting&oldid=497326200

 

[micromass]

Is there a question here?? The wikipedia article looks ok.

 

[Drakkith]

Is there a question here?? The wikipedia article looks ok.

I just edited it, sorry. Just thought it was funny lol.

 

[lisab]

It's been fixed. You can still see the troll reference by going to the "View History" tab.

 

[Drakkith]

It's been fixed. You can still see the troll reference by going to the "View History" tab.

Them dang trolls blocking all those vasculars!

 

[micromass]

Why did you edit it?? Are you saying that the paragraph on internet trolls was incorrect??

 

[Drakkith]

Why did you edit it?? Are you saying that the paragraph on internet trolls was incorrect??

Unless you've found some trolls blocking the vascular systems of your houseplants, then yes.

 

[micromass]

Unless you've found some trolls blocking the vascular systems of your houseplants, then yes.

Do you have a reference to a scientific journal that proves that such a thing does not happen??

 

[Evo]

Why did you edit it?? Are you saying that the paragraph on internet trolls was incorrect??

Troll!

 

[Drakkith]

Do you have a reference to a scientific journal that proves that such a thing does not happen??

Plant Vascular Monthly of course. A study was just done and less than 0.0002 trolls per vascular were found. This is well within the error margin for the instruments when measuring 0. Either that or it was a loose cable.

 

[Evo]

Plant Vascular Monthly of course. A study was just done and less than 0.0002 trolls per vascular were found. This is well within the error margin for the instruments when measuring 0. Either that or it was a loose cable.

 

[Drakkith]

By the way, that was my first wikipedia edit. Go me. My first transiting exoplanet light curve, then my first wikipedia edit, soon I will formulate the GUT. For vasculars of course.

 

[Pengwuino]

So micro has been killing my garden!?

 

[Drakkith]

So micro has been killing my garden!?

Gardens are not vasculars!

 

[micromass]

So micro has been killing my garden!?

That was because you forgot to water your tomatoes for a week. For once, I had nothing to do with it.

 

[Pengwuino]

That was because you forgot to water your tomatoes for a week. For once, I had nothing to do with it.

Not according to wikipedia.

Wikipedia knows all.

 

[micromass]

Not according to wikipedia.

Wikipedia knows all.

There are many problems with wikipedia. This video explains it all very well:

 

[Borek]

less than 0.0002 trolls per vascular were found

That's 200 microtrolls.

 

[Drakkith]

That's 200 microtrolls.

They prefer the term "vascularly challenged".

 

[Pengwuino]

There are many problems with wikipedia. This video explains it all very well:

Who do you think I am? Ivan92?

 

[dlgoff]

That's 200 microtrolls.

 

[Ivan92]

Who do you think I am? Ivan92?

Ban micro and Peng!

 

[Drakkith]

Does anyone else here realize that Danger's name is on that troll meter?

 

[micromass]

Ban micro and Peng!

Ivan, you're hurting my feelings here

 

[BobG]

So micro has been killing my garden!?

That was because you forgot to water your tomatoes for a week. For once, I had nothing to do with it.

An onion in a tomato garden and you claim to have nothing to do with the garden's problems?