Can Long-Term Marriage Retain Its Spark?

[rewebster]

In real life, if you love somebody and let them go, they will be hurt and confused and not understand why you let them go. They're most likely to assume you don't care and never return. I've always thought this was the worst advice.

Most of the women that I've "let go" come back around trying to start up the relationship again----maybe men have better common sense

emphasis on 'trying'

 

[Evo]

I've learned to never give a relationship a second chance, tried it twice and the relationship quickly ended again for the same reasons it ended the first time. I find it best to move on to someone I haven't damaged yet.

 

[rewebster]

I've learned to never give a relationship a second chance, tried it twice and the relationship quickly ended again for the same reasons it ended the first time. I find it best to move on to someone I haven't damaged yet.

so that's why there's so few 'good' men out there for all those other women

 

[Evo]

I think I've found and alienated all the good men in my age range, at least on two continents.

 

[rewebster]

before Evo:

after Evo:

http://www.happinessonline.org/MoralCode/images/nicknolte4.jpg

 

[zoobyshoe]

Can we get to stupid love quotes that irk me?

by Kahlil Gibran.

In real life, if you love somebody and let them go, they will be hurt and confused and not understand why you let them go. They're most likely to assume you don't care and never return. I've always thought this was the worst advice.

I've always assumed this referred to a situation where the other person wanted to leave. In other words, if you really love them you respect the fact they're not getting what they want from the relationship and you let go to allow them to pursue what they want. This goes from allowing them some "alone" time without making a fuss, all the way to an actual breakup.

Another line I hate - "love means never having to say you're sorry".

This, too, strikes me as making more sense than people think: if two people really love each other they are so sensitive to each others needs and boundaries that they don't do anything to each other that will require an apology.

 

[Evo]

before Evo:

after Evo:

http://www.happinessonline.org/MoralCode/images/nicknolte4.jpg

That about sums it up.

I've always assumed this referred to a situation where the other person wanted to leave. In other words, if you really love them you respect the fact they're not getting what they want from the relationship and you let go to allow them to pursue what they want. This goes from allowing them some "alone" time without making a fuss, all the way to an actual breakup.


This, too, strikes me as making more sense than people think: if two people really love each other they are so sensitive to each others needs and boundaries that they don't do anything to each other that will require an apology.

Oh, now, don't try to sugarcoat it.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Oh, now, don't try to sugarcoat it.

My God. I feel so...damaged.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Well, you are a little naive if you think your spouse married you because she liked you more than anyone else - possibly she married you because she, at the time, liked you more than anyone else of those she could get...

Tsu dumped a brain surgeon for me.

What a dummy!

 

[animalcroc]

monogamous marriage is not a universal institution although it has been increasing popular over the last few centuries. Different people around the world have had their own ways of doing things. For instance, when Columbus went to the Caribbean he observed open relationships and was repulsed. Apparently, marriage is relative like other social institutions.
Even Erwin Schroedinger had two mates.

 

[Integral]

If you are married to the wrong person, every day can be hell. Unfortunately, you don't find out how wrong they are until after you've been married for awhile. This is why I can't imagine people getting married without having first lived together for at least a year or two.

I think statistics will show that living together before marriage does not improve the chances of a sucessful marriage.

http://www.clasp.org/publications/cohabation_snapshot.pdf

 

[Evo]

I think statistics will show that living together before marriage does not improve the chances of a sucessful marriage.

http://www.clasp.org/publications/cohabation_snapshot.pdf

I agree that nothing is a guarantee for a successful marriage. Living together before marriage would hopefully prevent a bad marrriage from happening in the first place though.

It sounds like most of the people that have posted here lived together before marrying, or are currently living together if they are in a long term relationship.

Other than census statistics, I'd be interested to see what poll she pulled the rest of her information from. For example stuff like this

· For a small but significant minority, cohabitation is a long term relationship which does
not lead to marriage. For one tenth of cohabiters, cohabitation is a long-term relationship
that does not end in marriage.

· A significant number of cohabitations end before marriage. About 40 percent of
cohabiting relationships end before marriage.

· Two years marks a crucial point in the cohabiting relationship. For about half of
cohabitaters, the relationship lasts approximately 2 years and then ends, either through
marriage or dissolution.

I would think that the number of cohabiting relationships that end without marriage would be higher than 40%. It seems quite normal in the US right now for young people to move in together while they are dating just to save money. Marriage isn't even necessarily on their radar in most cases.

 

[Moonbear]

I think the limitation to cohabitation as a "trial run" for marriage is that some of the big issues that hinder marriages can still be avoided while cohabitating. For example, if you're smart, you're not going to intermingle finances if you're not sure you're going to get married, so there's no dealing with one person being a big spender and the other not and using each other's money or having to make financial decisions together yet. Another is that you're still not dealing with having children and how to raise them. That's often a big issue that doesn't come up until seriously discussing making that baby (or, too often, after the baby is on the way).

Of course, what it can help with are the, "Is seeing this person first thing in the morning and last thing at night, sometimes all day, every day, all year long, for years on end, going to drive me absolutely bonkers?" problem.

 

[rewebster]

I think the limitation to cohabitation as a "trial run" for marriage is that some of the big issues that hinder marriages can still be avoided while cohabitating. For example, if you're smart, you're not going to intermingle finances if you're not sure you're going to get married, so there's no dealing with one person being a big spender and the other not and using each other's money or having to make financial decisions together yet. Another is that you're still not dealing with having children and how to raise them. That's often a big issue that doesn't come up until seriously discussing making that baby (or, too often, after the baby is on the way).

Of course, what it can help with are the, "Is seeing this person first thing in the morning and last thing at night, sometimes all day, every day, all year long, for years on end, going to drive me absolutely bonkers?" problem.

it sounds like you have a real good handle (attitude) on things

 

[Moonbear]

it sounds like you have a real good handle (attitude) on things

That's why I'm not married.

 

[rewebster]

That's why I'm not married.

have you been?------

(you sound like you may have been there before)

-----------------------------------------------------
A lot of women don't get out and 'play' as much as they used to--I hear that too often, "I don't know where to go!"--"I don't have girl friends to go out with!"--- "I don't want to go out alone!"----"There's no good men left out there that haven't been damaged!"
----------
just got off of the phone with a woman who said three out of the four from above---she's been divorced about eight years now. She doesn't go out much, but she said another one, " I can't find a good man" three times. I've told her a dozen times to start going to new places to try new things, and attend some club meetings for things she likes.


I'm not married--and it seems a lot of women I meet can't stop talking about their baggage (like the one I just got off the phone with). Seems like most women worry about talking about their baggage too much but still do anyway--it's like they can't help it, and they want us (men) to know about all of it. Women just seem to worry about it more than men.

__________________________________________

I was thinking last night about this woman that calls me every once in a while for 'help' with her problems----if she's been talking to me about her past relationship even a fraction as much as to the guys she's trying to date --that may be the problem why she may be having 'trouble finding' a guy----I think she relates what she's done in her life through her 'ex-' as he is still 'part' of her present existence (new guys don't really want to have to even try to measure up)---"New Strategy" to help her!

 

[Reshma]

Can we get to stupid love quotes that irk me?

Another line I hate - "love means never having to say you're sorry".

That's really stupid. I will make sure they are sorry even if I love them. It is easier to forgive someone once you are even with him. Okay, I am kidding.

 

[Evo]

That's really stupid. I will make sure they are sorry even if I love them. It is easier to forgive someone once you are even with him. Okay, I am kidding.

I think it should say "loves means knowing when to say you're sorry". Now *that* would make more sense.

 

[Moonbear]

have you been?------

Nope.

(you sound like you may have been there before)

Got real close once, but Evo's dreaded cliche "If you love them, set them free" seemed to apply...we could either be married or follow our desired career paths, but not both, and neither of us would ask the other to sacrifice their career (we needed to be in different states).

-----------------------------------------------------
A lot of women don't get out and 'play' as much as they used to--I hear that too often, "I don't know where to go!"--"I don't have girl friends to go out with!"--- "I don't want to go out alone!"----"There's no good men left out there that haven't been damaged!"
----------

Yep, it's hard finding the undamaged ones, especially. I think Evo has gotten to them first. Well, the reality is, many are probably still single because they started out damaged, not because someone damaged them along the way. And once you get to that age where all your friends are married with kids, it is hard to find people to go out with, even just for fun.

just got off of the phone with a woman who said three out of the four from above---she's been divorced about eight years now. She doesn't go out much, but she said another one, " I can't find a good man" three times. I've told her a dozen times to start going to new places to try new things, and attend some club meetings for things she likes.

Everyone gives that advice. It doesn't help. For starters, once you're out of college, there aren't clubs around for every interest. I was looking around the area here to see if there was some sort of a ballroom dancing club or just a place that holds dances, figuring if I don't have someone to go out dancing with, a dancing club would be a good way to meet someone to do that with. There aren't any. The nearest place that even holds dances is about 2 h away! A lot of my other interests aren't the sort of things you'd join a club to do.

I'm not married--and it seems a lot of women I meet can't stop talking about their baggage (like the one I just got off the phone with). Seems like most women worry about talking about their baggage too much but still do anyway--it's like they can't help it, and they want us (men) to know about all of it. Women just seem to worry about it more than men.

Too many do. I figure if someone can't avoid talking about an ex on a date, they're not ready to be dating yet because they still feel too strongly about the ex. In a way, it's not much different than selling a car. Nobody wants to hear about the huge crash you were in with the car that you follow up by saying, "But it's all fixed now, almost like new again." You're going to stare at them suspiciously, wondering whether it's really fixed, or if they've just slapped a new coat of paint on it, and walk away. The problem is, guys do the same thing, "You wouldn't believe the psycho I dated," type stuff. One psycho story might be entertaining, but if they harp on about it, or if it starts to sound like they think every woman they ever dated was psycho, I start to wonder what's wrong with them that they either attract psychos, or turn them into psychos.

I was thinking last night about this woman that calls me every once in a while for 'help' with her problems----if she's been talking to me about her past relationship even a fraction as much as to the guys she's trying to date --that may be the problem why she may be having 'trouble finding' a guy----I think she relates what she's done in her life through her 'ex-' as he is still 'part' of her present existence (new guys don't really want to have to even try to measure up)---"New Strategy" to help her!

When someone is still that bitter about a breakup, it's hard for them to stop thinking every new person they meet will be just like the previous ones. Sometimes they're right, because for some reason, they keep being attracted to people with similar personality traits, even though they know that's not compatible with them. They need to start trying something different...but they also have to get over that bitterness first, or they'll never give the right person a chance.

 

[Astronuc]

Seems like most women worry about talking about their baggage too much but still do anyway--it's like they can't help it, and they want us (men) to know about all of it. Women just seem to worry about it more than men.

I think some men do it too. Basically it means they haven't processed and reconciled the failed relationship. In that case, they need to consult a therapist/counselor and move on. It's a grieving process - and some people don't know how to deal with it and move on.

 

[mathwonk]

to be married, you must give some preference to someone elses wishes. and that is pretty much sufficient, outside the basic attraction.

 

[rewebster]

OH--boy...talk about "baggage":

 

[rewebster]

Got real close once, but Evo's dreaded cliche "If you love them, set them free" seemed to apply...we could either be married or follow our desired career paths, but not both, and neither of us would ask the other to sacrifice their career (we needed to be in different states).

yep, been there (she got some kind of post-residency fellowship at Vanderbilt)

Yep, it's hard finding the undamaged ones, especially. I think Evo has gotten to them first. Well, the reality is, many are probably still single because they started out damaged, not because someone damaged them along the way. And once you get to that age where all your friends are married with kids, it is hard to find people to go out with, even just for fun.

one way that I looked at it to make it an 'level playing field' is that we're all damaged with baggage (just how much is the question )

Everyone gives that advice. It doesn't help. For starters, once you're out of college, there aren't clubs around for every interest. I was looking around the area here to see if there was some sort of a ballroom dancing club or just a place that holds dances, figuring if I don't have someone to go out dancing with, a dancing club would be a good way to meet someone to do that with. There aren't any. The nearest place that even holds dances is about 2 h away! A lot of my other interests aren't the sort of things you'd join a club to do.

start one (locally)!

Too many do. I figure if someone can't avoid talking about an ex on a date, they're not ready to be dating yet because they still feel too strongly about the ex. In a way, it's not much different than selling a car. Nobody wants to hear about the huge crash you were in with the car that you follow up by saying, "But it's all fixed now, almost like new again." You're going to stare at them suspiciously, wondering whether it's really fixed, or if they've just slapped a new coat of paint on it, and walk away. The problem is, guys do the same thing, "You wouldn't believe the psycho I dated," type stuff. One psycho story might be entertaining, but if they harp on about it, or if it starts to sound like they think every woman they ever dated was psycho, I start to wonder what's wrong with them that they either attract psychos, or turn them into psychos.

When someone is still that bitter about a breakup, it's hard for them to stop thinking every new person they meet will be just like the previous ones. Sometimes they're right, because for some reason, they keep being attracted to people with similar personality traits, even though they know that's not compatible with them. They need to start trying something different...but they also have to get over that bitterness first, or they'll never give the right person a chance.

I don't mind listening to 'psycho' stories (especially if I know that its not going to go beyond the 'friendship' level)---its some of the best entertainment around!

 

[Astronuc]

This is a great story. Marriage does work - for some folks.

Awwww! This is so sweet! I love stories like this!

Three-Day Courtship, Lasting Marriage
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=15633460

A blind date and a short courtship led to a marriage that has lasted more than half a century.

Morning Edition, October 26, 2007 · They've been married for 57 years, but when Gayle Burton first met Frank Newby, she would not have predicted such a long-lasting relationship. It all started on a triple blind date that Gayle dreaded.

Gayle had spent the day at an Indianapolis beach with friends, and she wasn't looking forward to going out.

"My hair was a mess, and I really didn't want to go," she says.

Gayle saw the three men that were waiting for her and her friends.

"Look at the hick with no tie," she told one of her friends. "I bet I'll get stuck with him."

As a matter of fact, Frank was the guy with no tie and Gayle did get stuck with him.

The other dates wanted to grab a burger and a Coke, but Frank didn't have money for it.

"And he just frankly told me, 'I can't afford it,'" Gayle recalls. "Somehow or other that seemed honest to me, and I said, 'Let's just sit in the car and talk.'"

They talked about love and marriage. At the end, they parted ways. Gayle called Frank later, and they made plans for a date. But Gayle stood him up. She had some friends visiting from out of town.

"I waited longer for her that day than I've ever waited for anybody in my life," Frank says. "I don't think that I was really mad — I was disgusted — and I just wrote this girl off."

One night, Gayle called him at work.

"In her little girl voice, she started explaining to me. And the sucker that I was, I accepted the apology," Frank says.

A couple of days later, Frank introduced Gayle to his parents. It was a Friday. On Saturday, Frank told his father to find a minister. On Sunday, they were married.

Frank had $20 to spend on their three-day honeymoon. They found a motel for $3 a night, and they feasted on hamburgers and beer.

"I've never once regretted a three-day courtship," Gayle says.

 

[Moonbear]

Aww...that is sweet. Definitely defied all the odds, but still pretty cool. A real life Dharma and Greg.

 

[rewebster]

what do you think?---do you think I should email her?

 

[Astronuc]

what do you think?---do you think I should email her?

One should start a thread "Question for women?"

But sure - email her. And take a number.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Looks good to me. Is the problem 'consists in/consists of"?

Yes.

In that case, the grammar in the poster is correct.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were.

I have to advise against this gambit in the most ardent way. I have tried this on my wife many times, but she keeps coming back.

Love means never having to say you're sorry

Love means having to say you're sorry every five minutes.

 

[Astronuc]

I have to advise against this gambit in the most ardent way. I have tried this on my wife many times, but she keeps coming back.

Ummm, Henny Youngman was your spiritual advisor and mentor?

On the other hand -

Youngman's wife, Sadie Cohen, was often the butt of his jokes ("My wife said to me, 'For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen!'", or "my wife's cooking is fit for a king. (gesturing as if feeding an invisible dog) Here King, here King!") but in reality the two were very close, with Sadie often accompanying her husband on his tours. Youngman remained married to his wife for over sixty years until her passing in 1987, after a prolonged illness. While she was ill, Henny had an ICU built in their bedroom, so she could be taken care of at home, rather than in the hospital (Sadie was terrified of hospitals).

- now that is the way it's supposed to be!

Love means having to say you're sorry every five minutes.

She let's you up off the floor for that long?! Amazaing.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

She let's you up off the floor for that long?! Amazaing.

No joke, tomorrow, my wife is headed for a month long vacation (from me?) to Liechtenstein. First she told me it would be a week, but then she bought a ticket for a month. Then she told me she regretted it and would try to get it changed to three weeks. I really don't look forward to getting on without her, but Gibrish says I must. When she returns she will be as welcome as the flowers in May.

 

[DaveC426913]

No joke, tomorrow, my wife is headed for a month long vacation (from me?) to Liechtenstein. First she told me it would be a week, but then she bought a ticket for a month. Then she told me she regretted it and would try to get it changed to three weeks. I really don't look forward to getting on without her, but Gibrish says I must. When she returns she will be as welcome as the flowers in May.

What?? When did she decide to leave Liechtenstein a week early?? Now my ticket's useless! Guys, who wants to trade their week for mine? I knew picking last was a bad idea...

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

What?? When did she decide to leave Liechtenstein a week early?? Now my ticket's useless! Guys, who wants to trade their week for mine? I knew picking last was a bad idea...

Trust me, you're not man enough to handle that woman.

 

[Zenparticle]

I think if you look at in terms of a business partnership and are mentally healthy as well having the special someone you feel you couldn't live without then marriage is a good thing- It just takes 2 people putting in the effort of their life's, after all your partner is worth it, right?

 

[turbo]

Business partner? No. Life partner, with another person whose commitment to the "venture" does not rest solely on the quarterly earnings. My wife and I started with nothing but each other and a few personal possessions. We did not even own a car for the first year that we were together, and I traveled to work (even in the snow) on my motorcycle.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

No joke, tomorrow, my wife is headed for a month long vacation (from me?)

I believe it.

 

[Astronuc]

I think if you look at in terms of a business partnership and are mentally healthy as well having the special someone you feel you couldn't live without then marriage is a good thing- It just takes 2 people putting in the effort of their life's, after all your partner is worth it, right?

I share turbo's perspective. It's more a life partner - someone who is with you because he or she wants to be with you - and both share that desire. It's about mutual support, mutual benefit and reciprocity.

As for mentally healthy - these days I wonder what that means. Everyone has certain behavorial traits, and I suppose it's a matter of compatibility.

What a long term relationship takes is commitment, which is really based upon the values of both individuals. Both have to be committed to the idea of a long term relationship. Marriage is about making a promise or committment, and then keeping that promise, which can take some effort.

If one has never done it, then certainly it can appear to be impossible. But those in a long term relationship just simply do it.

My wife and I were very much independent when we met, and I think that was one of the reasons we were attracted to each other. We each maintained our independence by which I mean we each have our own interests, likes and dislikes, but we share them as much as the other is able and/or willing.

Marraige as an partnership is an interdependence, and it allows one to share oneself and one's experience with the other. It's an intimate dance.

 

[Zenparticle]

Business partner? No. Life partner, with another person whose commitment to the "venture" does not rest solely on the quarterly earnings. My wife and I started with nothing but each other and a few personal possessions. We did not even own a car for the first year that we were together, and I traveled to work (even in the snow) on my motorcycle.

I meant that it is a partnership in which you may love one another, but not be in love with each other-so at times it takes work to maintain(as in both working together) The word business may have been wrong, I meant it more as a legal partnership then having to do with financial issues. It's just not always going to be roses and smiles but it can be close to "perfect" if the right amount of effort is put fourth by both sides and that does take work in most cases.

If one has never done it, then certainly it can appear to be impossible. But those in a long term relationship just simply do it.

I have been in my relationship for 10 years- We are not married but we have a child and we live together and it never seems impossible just a bit hard at times.

 

[Astronuc]

I meant that it is a partnership in which you may love one another, but not be in love with each other-so at times it takes work to maintain(as in both working together) The word business may have been wrong, I meant it more as a legal partnership then having to do with financial issues. It's just not always going to be roses and smiles but it can be close to "perfect" if the right amount of effort is put fourth by both sides and that does take work in most cases.

Understood. It's not always roses, but hopefully the good times outweight the not so good times.

I think it helps to love one another (the caring, nuturing part) as well as being in love with (romantic, playful, and occassionally erotic part) each other. Romance does take effort sometimes, i.e. finding the time to play.

I have been in my relationship for 10 years- We are not married but we have a child and we live together and it never seems impossible just a bit hard at times.

Yeah - and I hope continues. It sounds like a good/great relationship.

It is not impossible, but at times difficult. People change and hopefully one's partner is willing to adapt.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

I believe it.

How are your plans to leave shaping up?

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Tonight I head out to JFK to pick up my wife. She decided she couldn't stay away for an entire month and so she cut her one month vacation to just over 2 weeks. The kids and I are planning a little party to welcome her home. She won't be leaving the country again until January. Then we're going to Aruba. We've been there twice and this will be the third time. It's a tiny island and there isn't much to do there. There used to be a natural bridge that you could go see. But it caved in and now there is nothing to do but crack open a bottle of beer, sit on the beach and watch the sun set all day long. I hope the weather here is horrid, for it is not enough that we should enjoy ourselves. Others must suffer.

 

[BobG]

I hope the weather here is horrid, for it is not enough that we should enjoy ourselves. Others must suffer.

That's the attitude!

With any luck, when you try to return you'll be stranded in Aruba wearing shorts and sandals because JFK has been shut down because of a blizzard.

 

[Moonbear]

Then we're going to Aruba. We've been there twice and this will be the third time. It's a tiny island and there isn't much to do there. There used to be a natural bridge that you could go see. But it caved in and now there is nothing to do but crack open a bottle of beer, sit on the beach and watch the sun set all day long. I hope the weather here is horrid, for it is not enough that we should enjoy ourselves. Others must suffer.

That's the sort of vacation I need!

With any luck, when you try to return you'll be stranded in Aruba wearing shorts and sandals because JFK has been shut down because of a blizzard.

Now that would be wonderful! I never have such luck. I'm always stranded in the blizzard on the way out, and the flight returning home always seems to leave even a bit early. It's just not fair! I want to get stranded on a tropical island of no fault of my own for a few extra days.

 

[Astronuc]

That's the attitude!

With any luck, when you try to return you'll be stranded in Aruba wearing shorts and sandals because JFK has been shut down because of a blizzard.

That would beat being stranded in Charlotte, NC because LGA and every other airport within 200-300 miles is closed due to a blizzard - and they remain closed for 3 days! And all you have to eat is Cracker Barrell or Waffle House - because they are the only places open - since the ice storm took out the surrounding areas. And of 6 channels on the cable, 4 are religious broadcasting and 2 are sports. That was a trip from H@!.

 

[Moonbear]

That would beat being stranded in Charlotte, NC because LGA and every other airport within 200-300 miles is closed due to a blizzard - and they remain closed for 3 days! And all you have to eat is Cracker Barrell or Waffle House - because they are the only places open - since the ice storm took out the surrounding areas. And of 6 channels on the cable, 4 are religious broadcasting and 2 are sports. That was a trip from H@!.

That's why I'm driving for Christmas this year. I've already forewarned the people I'm staying with that if there is any forecast for snow, they can expect me a day or two early. Much better than relying on plane reservations and being stuck in an airport for 2 days with all the other holiday travelers who are stranded.

 

[Astronuc]

That's why I'm driving for Christmas this year. I've already forewarned the people I'm staying with that if there is any forecast for snow, they can expect me a day or two early. Much better than relying on plane reservations and being stuck in an airport for 2 days with all the other holiday travelers who are stranded.

Be careful - and watch the weather before traveling.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

How are your plans to leave shaping up?

Luckily, with the collapse of the Republican party and the death of the Bush agenda, the sense of urgency is diminished. We expect to cash out when our place hits a million in profit. Then we can do whatever we want.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Luckily, with the collapse of the Republican party and the death of the Bush agenda, the sense of urgency is diminished. We expect to cash out when our place hits a million in profit. Then we can do whatever we want.

But your beef was not with Bush, it was with the American people. We're still here and so are you. What gives?

 

[Moonbear]

Be careful - and watch the weather before traveling.

I'm not making the mistake of driving through Frostburg again, that's for sure! Or at least will make sure I leave early enough to drive through during daylight hours (I'm still seeking excuses to NOT stay at my sister's house...it's nearly impossible to just get up and get out early from her place, which was why I ended up driving through snowy mountains at night a couple years ago. )

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

And all you have to eat is Cracker Barrell or Waffle House - because they are the only places open - since the ice storm took out the surrounding areas.

At least you had that. In Aruba they don't have Cracker Barrel or Waffle House, or ice storms. I did once get stranded in Tokyo because of a snow storm in JFK. It's an overrated pleasure. But stranded in Aruba would be OK. If you're ever there, take a look at the scratch marks on the airport runway. My fingernails did that when they dragged me away last time.