Can Low Self Esteem Affect My Dating Life?

[aaronbenjamin]

hi, i am concerned that my lack of self esteem may be making it hard for me to meet someone, any advice? thanks!

 

[lisab]

I'm guessing your doubt about meeting someone is due to a cycle: you have low self esteem, which makes you unsure of your social skills, which reinforces your low self esteem.

You need to break the cycle. I suggest doing that by working to improve your social skills. This can help you meet someone, and can also improve your self esteem.

Social skills are like any other skill: to improve, you need to practice, practice, practice. How much do you interact with people now (either gender, any setting)?

 

[aaronbenjamin]

I'm guessing your doubt about meeting someone is due to a cycle: you have low self esteem, which makes you unsure of your social skills, which reinforces your low self esteem.

You need to break the cycle. I suggest doing that by working to improve your social skills. This can help you meet someone, and can also improve your self esteem.

Social skills are like any other skill: to improve, you need to practice, practice, practice. How much do you interact with people now (either gender, any setting)?

hi Lisa, and thank you for your advice. i do socialize with people now pretty well i think. i think that part of my lack of self esteem is due to a) some moles that i have on my back that i find unattractive and b) a high forehead which looks a bit odd when i have short hair or when my hair is not sitting on head so well. there is another issue as well, but this may be enough for starters. thank you again.

 

[lisab]

The moles you should get removed. Seriously, if they are impacting you, do it; don't be embarrassed to ask your doc to do it.

Actually for health reasons, it's a good idea, especially if they're in a place where you can not monitor them for changes.

 

[aaronbenjamin]

The moles you should get removed. Seriously, if they are impacting you, do it; don't be embarrassed to ask your doc to do it.

Actually for health reasons, it's a good idea, especially if they're in a place where you can not monitor them for changes.

when i was a teenager i asked a doctor to remove a few of the moles and he did but they left some scars. maybe a more refined technique could be used for some of the others. thanks for the suggestion i will look into it when i can.

 

[AFG34]

the fastest way is to hang out with people who are confident and pickup on their certain behaviours that you like. Also stop caring what people think - only way to do that is to make a fool of yourself in public.

 

[aaronbenjamin]

the fastest way is to hang out with people who are confident and pickup on their certain behaviours that you like. Also stop caring what people think - only way to do that is to make a fool of yourself in public.

thanks for the suggestion but i don't know if i am up to that one.

 

[jbs80106]

Also stop caring what people think - only way to do that is to make a fool of yourself in public.

+1 to this. Looking back I was way too self-conscious in my youth...worried about what other people would think and letting their opinions define me. Know yourself, stay true to yourself, the rest doesn't really matter...

 

[Dembadon]

... Also stop caring what people think - only way to do that is to make a fool of yourself in public.

I wasn't able to just stop caring what other people thought until I became a confident person. I believe confidence comes first. In other words, "not caring" is a by-product of confidence.

 

[brainstorm]

You can become more confident about your physical self-esteem issues by realizing that everyone has such insecurities. If you are friendly and give someone with similar self-esteem issues the feeling that you are not going to judge, ridicule, or tease them about their issues then you two might get to the point where you can divulge your insecurities and a big weight will be lifted off both of you, which will strengthen your relationship if you're ready for that.

 

[aaronbenjamin]

You can become more confident about your physical self-esteem issues by realizing that everyone has such insecurities. If you are friendly and give someone with similar self-esteem issues the feeling that you are not going to judge, ridicule, or tease them about their issues then you two might get to the point where you can divulge your insecurities and a big weight will be lifted off both of you, which will strengthen your relationship if you're ready for that.

Thanks to all, some interesting ideas floating around here.