I'm going to be a bit busy for the next day or so, but I'll try and give a short answer
In special relativity, the metric coefficients are fixed. What is the same for all obsevers is the value of the Lorentz interval, given in geometric units (where c=1) by
ds^2 = dx^2 + dy^2 + dz^2 - dt^2
(Sign conventions vary - sometimes people use ds^2 = dt^2 - dx^2-dy^2-dz^2)
Time dilation can be derived most conveniently from the second form of the interval above. I was thinking of doing it to show how time dilation follows from the invariance of the Lorentz interval, but the post was getting too long.
General relativity calculates the Lorentz inteval with metric coefficients which can vary with one's position in space.
ds^2 = g_00 dt^2 + g_11 dx^2 + g_22 dy^2 + g_33 dz^2
(this is not the most general from of the metric possible, but it's a diagonal form that's very common and useful).
Here the metric coefficients are a function of one's position in space, and possibly of time as well.
Gravitational time dilation shows up in the term g_00. g_00 controls the rate at which coordinate time maps to the time a clock actually measures. If g_00 is 1, clocks keep the same time as coordinate time.
Gravitational length contraction shows up in the spatial terms of the metric, like g_11, g_22, g_33. If they are one, there is no length contraction.
The time dilation equations for moving clocks have to be re-derived from genreal considerations of the invariance of the Lorentz interval. In many circumstances you can multiply the gravitational time dilation by the SR time dilation factor, but you can't do this in all cases.
Doing special relativity is NOT a matter of replacing mass with relativistic mass.
Take a look at
http://math.ucr.edu/home/baez/physics/Relativity/SR/mass.html
for instance, especially the section about the relativistic version of F=ma at the end.