Collection of Science Jokes P2

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The discussion revolves around a collection of science-related jokes and humorous anecdotes shared among forum members. A notable joke features a mathematician with a dog and a cow who are claimed to be knot theorists, leading to a playful exchange with a bartender. Other jokes include puns related to physics, such as Heisenberg's uncertainty principle and light-hearted takes on mathematical concepts. The conversation also touches on the nature of humor in science, with members explaining the nuances of certain jokes, particularly those involving mathematical notation. Additionally, there are references to classic jokes that have circulated over the years, illustrating how humor can bridge complex scientific ideas with everyday life. Overall, the thread highlights the community's appreciation for clever wordplay and the joy of sharing science humor.
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  • #502
plant cell.jpg
 
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  • #503
What is the unit of time measuring how long it takes light to travel from the heel to the toe of a particular space-faring comic book character?
 
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  • #504
Not an answer, but something I noted:

I know how long a light-saber is, but I have never seen the time unit "saber" used anywhere.
 
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  • #505
Two scientists go into a bar.
One asks for a pint of beer and the other asks for a measure of vodka.
I forget the rest.
 
  • #506
mfb said:
Not an answer, but something I noted:

I know how long a light-saber is, but I have never seen the time unit "saber" used anywhere.
Gives me an idea: Next time someone asks how tall I am, I'll answer 6ns.
 
  • #507
jambaugh said:
What is the unit of time measuring how long it takes light to travel from the heel to the toe of a particular space-faring comic book character?
A buzz-year?
 
  • #508
DrGreg said:
A buzz-year?
No, a Gordon Lightfoot

(I know it's not the best joke, and probably the younger crowd won't catch the references at all.)
 
  • #510
A light-second (,-minute, -year) is a unit of length. A light-kilometer(,-meter, -foot) is a unit of time. The "light" is the respective multiplication or division by c to transpose the unit type.

Assuming Flash Gordon has a foot of length 0.98357105643045 US ft long then this time unit will be 1 nanosecond. And of course the speed of light is 1x10^9 Gordon Feet per second.

And I so declare ... <with the tune of "The wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald" playing in the background> ... that this IS the length of Flash Gordon's Feet and thus we should adopt a new standard for US measure, The Gordon Foot and the Gordon Lightfoot!
(3 Gordon Lightfeet to a Gordon Lightyard, 1/12 a Gordon lightfoot to the Gordon light inch... but we can just call it 1/12 nanoseconds. :)And since "Gordon Lightfoot" is a bit unwieldy we can just call that 1 nanosecond unit a "Flash".
"Honey, just going for cigarettes, be back in a Giga-Flash!"
 
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  • #511
I only know that if you break the toe of the foot in question, you'll get a Green Lantern.
 
  • #512
Wait ! ... for just a Giga-Flash could you ?
fresh_42 said:
I only know that if you break the toe of the foot in question, you'll get a Green Lantern.
jambaugh said:
And I so declare ...that this IS the length of Flash Gordon's Feet...
Did you mean: And I so declare ...that this IS the length of Flash Gordon's Foot... ?:ok:... carry on. . :biggrin:
 
  • #513
OCR said:
Wait ! ... for just a Giga-Flash could you ?Did you mean: And I so declare ...that this IS the length of Flash Gordon's Foot... ?:ok:... carry on. . :biggrin:
Flash Gordon, we may presume, has both feet of equal length... 1 light-Flash long each. So it is not just the length of his left foot, nor just the length of his right foot, but the lengths of both feet. (So I guess I should have said "lengths".)
 
  • #515
  • #516
For the kitten thread or the science jokes thread? Hard choice... let's post in this thread...
I did not know that a cat had published in Physical Review Letters:
Wikipedia said:
F.D.C. Willard (1975–1980) was the pen name of a Siamese cat named Chester, who internationally published under this name on low temperature physics in scientific journals, once as a co-author and another time as the sole author.
[...]
...the journal would reject this form on submissions with a sole author. Rather than take the time to retype the article to use the singular form, or to bring in a co-author, Hetherington decided to invent one.
Source: F.D.C. Willard
Paper: http://journals.aps.org/prl/abstract/10.1103/PhysRevLett.35.1442
 
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  • #517
Not sure whether it fits better here or in the lame jokes thread.
Anyway, I've just learned what acronym the 'H0 Lenses in COSMOGRAIL's Wellspring' team has come up with.
I'll let you take a guess (no cheating with google!).
 
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  • #518
There is also the Cosmic Ray Energetics and Mass Experiment - flying to the ISS. Guess what the combined acronym is.

Yes it is.
 
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  • #519
Bandersnatch said:
Not sure whether it fits better here or in the lame jokes thread.
Anyway, I've just learned what acronym the 'H0 Lenses in COSMOGRAIL's Wellspring' team has come up with.
I'll let you take a guess (no cheating with google!).
It could have been worse! Hint: use the "p" in Wellspring.
 
  • #520
20664089_10155660671404214_1520021929690663746_n.jpg
 
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  • #521
36297042812_47b8850f2c.jpg
 
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  • #522
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  • #524
moss vs lichen.jpg
 
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  • #525
As an aside

When I was doing geology at uni, we were taught about the method of using lichen growth rates
to determine times of last movements on faultlines
 
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  • #526
You know that saying about having rocks in your head? :doh:

SteeringWheelClaymore.jpg
 
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  • #527
I'd tell you a joke about chemistry, but all the good ones Argon, and you'd think them Boron :sorry:
 
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  • #528
Ah yeah mathematics girl. I'm like ##e^{2x}##; you can differentiate me all night long, and I only get bigger.
 
  • #529
Integration makes you smaller?

d/dy
 
  • #530
mfb said:
Integration makes you smaller?

Alternatively: d/dy

Integration is the pillow talk of mathematics :)
 
  • #531
davenn said:
a little astronomy comedy from days gone by ... used to enjoy Pink panther cartoons when I was a kid


there is, in this cartoon, ( as in all cartoons) a number of serious breaking of physics laws :smile:


Oh the scientific inaccuracy!
 
  • #532
How come ##< \psi |H|\psi> ## and ##< \varphi |H|\varphi> ## got to be ##H|\psi> ## and ##H|\varphi>##?

They took off their bras to prove that they are real.
 
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  • #534
Knowing that ##\frac{1}{\infty} = 0##, prove that ##\frac{1}{0} = \infty##.

Solution:
  1. Rotate both sides 90° counterclockwise: ##-18 = 0##
  2. Add ##8## to both sides: ##-18 + 8 = 0 + 8## or ##-10 = 8##
  3. Rotate both sides 90° clockwise: ##\frac{1}{0} = \infty##
 
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  • #535
Show that ##x = 1## for ##2x + x^2 = 3##.

Solution:
$$2x + x^2 = 3$$
$$2x^{\rlap{/}3} = \rlap{/}3$$
$$2x = 1$$
$$x = 2-1$$
$$x =1$$
 
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  • #536
Related:$$\frac{1\rlap{/}6}{\rlap{/}64} = \frac 1 4$$
$$\frac{1\rlap{/}9}{\rlap{/}95} = \frac 1 5$$
 
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  • #537
In fact, all numbers are equal to each other.

Let ##a## and ##b## be any two numbers. Define$$
c = a + b.
$$Multiply both sides by ##a - b##:$$
ac - bc = a^2 - b^2.
$$Reaarrange:$$
ac - a^2 = bc - b^2
$$Subtract ##ab##:$$
ac - a^2 - ab = bc - ab - b^2
$$Factorise:$$
a(c-a-b) = b(c-a-b).
$$Cancel:$$
a = b.
$$
 
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  • #538
Legal got all upset about a leap second, and when US daylight savings changed to a longer duration, legal went into a histrionic coma. After all, since calendars use numbers, then they must be higher math.

Sound familiar? then this one's for you:

https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/supervillain_plan.png
 
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  • #539
how to capture an astronomer.jpg
 
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  • #540
What's an Astronormer? :confused:
 
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  • #541
Borg said:
What's an Astronormer?
An astronomer who looks at planets, moons, stars and nebulas, but refer to them as "just various celestial objects"?
 
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  • #542
Borg said:
What's an Astronormer? :confused:
Not sure. Either those you deal with
$$
R_{\mu \nu} - \frac{1}{2}g_{\mu \nu} R = \kappa T_{\mu \nu}
$$
or those who deal with

Starlives1.gif
 
  • #543
Borg said:
What's an Astronormer? :confused:
hahaha good catch
I didn't notice the typo :-p
 
  • #544
An astronormer makes the distance to all objects equal to 1.

Good for asteroid defense, bad for supernovae.
 
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  • #545
Wouldn't that be if they filmed Cheers in space.
A different actor though, not the same Norm.
He would be an Astro-Norm-er
:woot:
 
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  • #546
Borg said:
What's an Astronormer? :confused:
Now the physicists definitely went too far with their renormalization mania.
 
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  • #547
256bits said:
Wouldn't that be if they filmed Cheers in space.
A different actor though, not the same Norm.
He would be an Astro-Norm-er
:woot:
There are similarities:
latest?cb=20140520175045.jpg
860a4ed2acf214d99c021ad85a1839001657a847.png
 
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  • #548
f4289615bdc57006edf4cb3ac0aaf6ad--funny-science-jokes-science-humour.jpg
 
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  • #549
A couple of more...
eae0bdb9dde1232741f23273a961cc4e--funny-science-jokes-science-humour.jpg

8a8b133c722b8ac807e57de6cb410d85--funny-science-science-humor.jpg

1eab81be23a61aa3c5cf316ba877ade3--chemistry-humor-science-humour.jpg
 
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  • #550
I know an interesting limerick about time travel:

There was a young lady of Whight,
She traveled much faster than light.
She traveled one day,
In a relative way,
And arrived on the previous night.

(Relative way refers to relativity)
 
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