Collection of Science Jokes P2

[EnumaElish]

View attachment 203508

:D

 

[kuruman]

What do you call a single person from Krakow who sticks to refrigerators?

Spoiler

Magnetic monopole.

 

[davenn]

hahahaI guessed as to where Krakow probably was, but had to google to be sure

 

[fresh_42]

What do you call a single person from Krakow who sticks to refrigerators?

There's a kind of sausage here named "Krakower" (transscripted). No wonder I couldn't solve the riddle.

 

[Bandersnatch]

I guessed as to where Krakow probably was, but had to google to be sure

For your horrible, horrible crime of ignorance I offer an invitation. Should you ever visit Krakow, I'll be happy to show you around.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

2 guys "from Krakow" (or can say it with 2 blondes - no offense to either ...)
Sitting in a cafeteria, against the mirror, on the other side:

"Look look! Two guys just like us, over there. Let's go meet them!"
[Standing up ...] ... [Pause]
"Ok, never mind, they're coming here! ..."
[Sitting down]

 

[davenn]

For your horrible, horrible crime of ignorance I offer an invitation. Should you ever visit Krakow, I'll be happy to show you around.

thanks mate

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[DennisN]

 

[davenn]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

If the Earth is flat, so could be the moon. Look at it!

 

[davenn]

If the Earth is flat, so could be the moon. Look at it!

ahhhh but the libration wobble of it proves otherwise

 

[kuruman]

ahhhh but the libration wobble of it proves otherwise

Besides which I think there are no cats on the Moon to worry about.

 

[davenn]

Besides which I think there are no cats on the Moon to worry about.

but there are dogs ... apparently ...

 

[fresh_42]

Besides which I think there are no cats on the Moon to worry about.

And nobody shall say there hasn't been searched for: Max, the mooncat.

 

[mfb]

If there are chicken on Mars, they might be on the Moon as well. Here is an artist's impression.

 

[kuruman]

If there are chicken on Mars, they might be on the Moon as well. Here is an artist's impression.

Clear evidence that the chicken got there before the eggs.

 

[fresh_42]

Clear evidence that the chicken got there before the eggs.

... and that their reputation is completely false: It takes braveness "to bear with unbearable sorrow, to run where the brave dare not go".

 

[DennisN]

but there are dogs ... apparently ...

He was searching for a black monolith, but he ended up finding a wormhole:

 

[DennisN]

One more space gif...

 

[kuruman]

Patient to doctor: I can neither feel heat nor cold.
Doctor to patient : You must be a diabetic.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

He was searching for a black monolith, but he ended up finding a wormhole:

I like the "wind" blowing his mouth ! ...
Is it "warp wind"?

 

[Stavros Kiri]

If there are chicken on Mars, they might be on the Moon as well. Here is an artist's impression.

That means if cows go to either one ... they'll have something to eat! :

 

[davenn]

He was searching for a black monolith, but he ended up finding a wormhole:

speaking of wormholes ...

 

[kuruman]

Is it "warp wind"?

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind.

And he seems to be living it! ...

 

[davenn]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

View attachment 204176

Or two cats ...

 

[mfb]

Looks more like 0.9 cats.

If you think non-integer cat numbers are weird, consider this video. We clearly start with a cat number of 1 and end with a cat number of 0. But would you say the number jumps from 1 to 0 in between? No, continuous cat numbers make much more sense.

 

[kuruman]

No, continuous cat numbers make much more sense.

Unless they are $Schr\ddot{o}dinger's$ cats.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Looks more like 0.9 cats.

If you think non-integer cat numbers are weird, consider this video. We clearly start with a cat number of 1 and end with a cat number of 0. But would you say the number jumps from 1 to 0 in between? No, continuous cat numbers make much more sense.

So there's digital and analog "cat system"?

 

[davenn]

ohh dear ... haha

 

[davenn]

couldn't help but laugh at this one ...

 

[kuruman]

What do you call a reclusive elevator attendant?

Spoiler

Hermitian operator.

 

[DennisN]

couldn't help but laugh at this one ...

Hilarious!

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DrGreg]

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 205014

It's not that wrong. Except that I found '98 far worse than ME - more crashes.

 

[davenn]

It's not that wrong. Except that I found '98 far worse than ME - more crashes.

ohhh ok ... My 98 SE version was very stable, only to be outdone by my current Win7 Pro

Not all versions of Windows are created equal

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

This thread needs some electronics jokes...

#58: Write-Only Memory
April 1, 1973: The Signetics corporation issued a press release announcing their invention of a revolutionary new electronic memory that promised to "improve the quality of life for billions of people who are affected by computer data." As opposed to the common "write-and-read" or "read-only" memories (ROM), they had perfected Fully-Encoded 9046XN 25120 Write-Only Memory (aka WOM). Data could be written to the device, but never read back, thus ensuring Eternally Inaccessible Storage (EIS).

from http://hoaxes.org/aprilfool/P50

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 205263

You're lucky! I had to deal with FFT!

 

[DennisN]

It's not that wrong. Except that I found '98 far worse than ME - more crashes.

ohhh ok ... My 98 SE version was very stable, only to be outdone by my current Win7 Pro

(note: I'm a Windows guy, not a Mac guy, but I enjoy seeing the "Bluescreen of Death" in unexpected places :)

from http://royal.pingdom.com/2008/10/09/blue-screen-of-death-in-unexpected-locations/

 

[DennisN]

You're lucky! I had to deal with FFT!

Me too... as a matter of fact I'm a big fan of Fourier Transformation/FFT, very useful in many places, e.g. when programming/processing audio stuff. Here's a nice, free Android app (realtime audio spectrum analysis) I discovered some days ago: Spectroid.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

ohhh ok ... My 98 SE version was very stable, only to be outdone by my current Win7 Pro

Not all versions of Windows are created equal

Is it true that "good" (+) and "~bad" (-) Windows main versions almost alternate? (by coincidence, naturaly or on purpose?)

I switched from Mac to Windows almost after XP. Here we go: (you guys do the "before Wind. XP"...)
XP: +
Vista: -
7: +
8: - (although I liked it! ...)
8.1: +
9: Non-existent! , thus "-" [although that can get us into a "philosophical" debate here ...]
10: +

Anyone cares to complete the chart by doing the before? Does it work?
[Use common acceptence (stat./ly) - not personal views ...]

 

[fresh_42]

Who cares bad grades at school when you just found lots of barrels of fidget spinners?

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Who cares bad grades at school when you just found lots of barrels of fidget spinners?

View attachment 205317

But how do they spin?