Collection of Science Jokes P2

[GiriBang]

What's the name of Max Planck's son?

Karl and Erwin.

Wrong! It's Quantum Physics!

 

[WWGD]

P stands for plaisir, not please.

SVP= S'Il Vous Plait.

 

[fresh_42]

SVP= S'Il Vous Plait.

And plait comes from plaisir. "If it pleases you." What a pity that English degenerated it from "if it pleases you" to "please". In any case, "il plait" isn't please, although they once might have been of the same origin.

 

[DrClaude]

And plait comes from plaisir. "If it pleases you." What a pity that English degenerated it from "if it pleases you" to "please". In any case, "il plait" isn't please, although they once might have been of the same origin.

But "s'il vous plaît" means please, RSVP is literally "answer, please."

 

[fresh_42]

If it pleases you and please have two different meanings. Apart from that it is a different language.

 

[DrClaude]

If it pleases you and please have two different meanings. Apart from that it is a different language.

My point is that no francophone reads "s'il vous plaît" as the literal combination "if it pleases you," but as please.

 

[WWGD]

That's why bakeries don't make more money when making profit-erols, Fresh. Maybe not the best analogy but It doesn't break down that way. But now I'm hungry.

 

[DrClaude]

Moderator's note: I have moved the interesting discussion of French expressions to
https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/french-expressions.988527/

 

[Keith_McClary]

Moderator's note: I have moved the interesting discussion of French expressions to
https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/french-expressions.988527/

That's futile, it will just evolve into science jokes.

 

[phinds]

That's futile, it will just evolve into science jokes.

Yes, but they'll be in French, so ... eh.

 

[Vanadium 50]

Or Belgian jokes.

 

[Ibix]

Belgium, man!

(Excuse my French)

 

[Demystifier]

 

[DrGreg]

Use the same method on a 3-4-5 triangle to prove that $3 + 4 = 5$.

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 262162

You have to show both directions of the proof!

gets us $\pi=2$. Hence $\pi = \dfrac{4+2}{2}=3$.

A fact engineers knew all the time.

 

[phinds]

 

[jack action]

 

[256bits]

View attachment 262420​

Mathematicians are an emotional bunch, while programmers are calm, soft and cuddly!

 

[jack action]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

Q: Lightening strikes that rear of an 800 foot long train. How long until it reaches the front of the train and kills the driver.
A: Depends on how good a conductor he is.

 

[JT Smith]

Made me laugh. But the joke perhaps ought to be modified slightly since the conductor doesn't control the train, the engineer does.

 

[fresh_42]

Made me laugh. But the joke perhaps ought to be modified slightly since the conductor doesn't control the train, the engineer does.

And it is easily possible, as the conductor runs through the train.

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

Before Coronavirus:

def factorial(number):
    if(number==1):
        return 1
    else:
        return number*factorial(number-1)

After Coronavirus:

def factorial ( number ) :

    if ( number == 1 ) :

        return 1

    else :

        return number * factorial ( number - 1 )

 

[Klystron]

Before Coronavirus:

def factorial(number):
    if(number==1):
        return 1
    else:
        return number*factorial(number-1)

After Coronavirus:

def factorial ( number ) :

    if ( number == 1 ) :

        return 1

    else :

        return number * factorial ( number - 1 )

Hilarious. You could rewrite post-Corona virus factorial() to use masked variables.

 

[Ibix]

Before Coronavirus:

def factorial(number):
    if(number==1):
        return 1
    else:
        return number*factorial(number-1)

After Coronavirus:

def factorial ( number ) :

    if ( number == 1 ) :

        return 1

    else :

        return number * factorial ( number - 1 )

So that's how they write anti-virus programs!

 

[mfb]

Test numbers for infection before you allow them to multiply.

 

[fresh_42]

Test numbers for infection before you allow them to multiply.

C++ would be better the better mask. It can catch exceptions.

 

[DennisN]

 

[BillTre]

 

[sysprog]

And my 1st world gripe: ATM, not ATM machine.

Similarly, PIN, not PIN number. -- temporarily missed your earlier post and that of @George Jones on this . . .

 

[sysprog]

P stands for plaisir, not please.

When translating 'please' at the beginning of a request sentence, I tend to use 'prière de (bien vouloir)', and 's'il vous plaît' when it's (less formally) placed at the end.

 

[davenn]

gotta love the bad physics of cartoons

(courtesy of Looney Tunes)

 

[jack action]

gotta love the bad physics of cartoons

View attachment 262919
(courtesy of Looney Tunes)

Though, it's hard to compete with real life ...

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

The wife, on her way home, texted to her husband:

"Can you start cooking those sausages? <3"

He cooked 2 sausages.

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

 

[BillTre]

 

[Keith_McClary]

View attachment 262985​

Sounds like our Chief Medical Officer of Health. She is highly regarded and could run for office.
(I don't know if we have Chief Medical Officers of other things besides Health.)

 

[fresh_42]

Why women live longer than men:

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]