Collection of Science Jokes P2

[BillTre]

 

[davenn]

 

[BillTre]

 

[gmax137]

I saw a new one (well, it is new to me):

Remember the seat-belt campaign, "Click it or Ticket?"

for CoVid
"Mask it or Casket"

 

[fresh_42]

I saw a new one (well, it is new to me):

Remember the seat-belt campaign, "Click it or Ticket?"

for CoVid
"Mask it or Casket"

This is actually not true, hence only partially funny. The masks protect others, not oneself. So wearing no mask is like speeding on the highway. People risk other people's lives. Not a new phenomenon.

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[gmax137]

View attachment 270950

We had a choice of channel 4 (NBC), 7 (ABC), or 9 (CBS). Oh, and on UHF26 we could see Julia Child, "the French Chef" but adjusting the round antenna to get the picture meant only static for the sound, and vice versa.

 

[phinds]

I had to move some money from my brokerage account to my bank today and was reminded of the thought I had the first time I had to make such a transfer about 20 years ago (and every time since).

Money COULD be transferred at nearly the speed of light but in the world we live in it's transferred at the speed of bureaucracy.

 

[collinsmark]

I saw a new one (well, it is new to me):

Remember the seat-belt campaign, "Click it or Ticket?"

for CoVid
"Mask it or Casket"

This is actually not true, hence only partially funny. The masks protect others, not oneself. So wearing no mask is like speeding on the highway. People risk other people's lives. Not a new phenomenon.

There's nothing in the phrase that prohibits the casket in question being somebody else's.

 

[fresh_42]

There's nothing in the phrase that prohibits the casket in question being somebody else's.

Yes, there is. It suggests a symmetry which isn't there. Thus the pun relies on false assumptions.

 

[collinsmark]

It suggests a symmetry

No it doesn't.

It's pretty simple. Wear a mask so people are less likely to die. Mask it or casket. Simple.

 

[davenn]

 

[etotheipi]

 

[phinds]

View attachment 271447

Reminds me of this:

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 271447

My buddies and I saw a White Lamborghini drive past us once.

We noted that the only time we've ever seen a red Lambo is when it was driving away from us.
And the only time we've ever seen a blue Lambo, it was heading toward us.

 

[etotheipi]

We noted that the only time we've ever seen a red Lambo is when it was driving away from us. And the only time we've ever seen a blue Lambo, it was heading toward us.

Most of the time I can’t even remember if I’ve had breakfast yet, let alone the directions of motion of cars I’ve passed on the road

 

[phinds]

Most of the time I can’t even remember if I’ve had breakfast yet, let alone the directions of motion of cars I’ve passed on the road

Yes, but your breakfast doesn't red shift or blue shift (unless of course your are eating on the run )

 

[Ibix]

My buddies and I saw a White Lamborghini drive past us once.

I know a car enthusiast who has a Lamborghini LM002. Apparently, if you drive carefully, you can get 10 mpg out of it.

 

[Ibix]

Yes, but your breakfast doesn't red shift or blue shift (unless of course your are eating on the run )

I dunno. I could sometimes come close to red shifting (or blue shifting, from my perspective) my food when I was in my teens and growing.

 

[davenn]

Apparently, if you drive carefully, you can get 10 mpg out of it.

I guess that's better than 10 gallons / mile

 

[mfb]

Not even tanks need that much fuel. They need something of the order of 1 liter per kilometer. Whatever that might be in weird inverted units.

 

[fresh_42]

Not even tanks need that much fuel. They need something of the order of 1 liter per kilometer. Whatever that might be in weird inverted units.

7.2 Leopard 2, Abram twice as much.

 

[DaveC426913]

...1 liter per kilometer. Whatever that might be in weird inverted units.

That would be ... 1 kilometer per liter...

 

[mfb]

That's regular, inverted units, not weird, inverted units.

 

[Ibix]

Not even tanks need that much fuel.

Town or long distance driving? Idling at the traffic lights wrecks your fuel consumption.

 

[DennisN]

A very funny article:
(n.b. some foul words in one quote, but apart from that, it's no foul language)
https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Turing_Duck_Test

Turing Duck Test flowchart:

 

[Ibix]

A very funny article:
(n.b. some foul words in one quote, but apart from that, it's no foul language)
https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Turing_Duck_Test

A lot of fowl language, though.

 

[DrGreg]

A very funny article:
(n.b. some foul words in one quote, but apart from that, it's no foul language)
https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Turing_Duck_Test

They missed out the final test: Does the quack have an echo? If yes, it's not a duck.

Spoiler: I don't get it

A reference to the once-popular myth that a duck's quack does not echo. Anyone who knows anything about physics ought to recognise that is nonsense.