Collection of Science Jokes P2

[mfb]

But what was y?

 

[fresh_42]

But what was y?

On the milk boxes - for missing letters. Possibly taken hostage by foreign names.

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

A distaraptor would walk a lot, and a timeraptor (tempusraptor?) would have a long life?

It's time for philosoraptor to participate in this thread...

EDIT: Bonusraptor, not science, but too funny not to share here, IMO:

 

[mfb]

If we fix the definition of sunset to a particular point (bottom/center/top of the sun touches the horizon or something similar), there should be regions close to the pole where the sun does indeed set in the East, to be observed at most once per year.

 

[davenn]

sounds about right

 

[Farang]

A neutrino walks through the bar...

 

[Stavros Kiri]

PF profile:

Age: "-38"

Birth date: May 1, 2055

Occupation: historian, time traveller

Favourite area of science: Relativity, time travel etc.

Hobbies-interests: time slip, teleportation, time spa, history of early 21st century ... etc.
(i.e. the usual)

 

[DrGreg]

PF profile:

Age: "-38"

Birth date: May 1, 2055

Occupation: historian, time traveller

Favourite area of science: Relativity, time travel etc.

Hobbies-interests: time slip, teleportation, time spa, history of early 21st century ... etc.
(i.e. the usual)

You've said that before, in 2029!

 

[Stavros Kiri]

You've said that before, in 2029!

Ouoooops! time slip ...

 

[Stavros Kiri]

PF profile:

Age: "-38"

Birth date: May 1, 2055

Occupation: historian, time traveller

Favourite area of science: Relativity, time travel etc.

Hobbies-interests: time slip, teleportation, time spa, history of early 21st century ... etc.
(i.e. the usual)

Nobody wished me Happy Birthday!
Wait! I haven't been born yet!

Anyway, I am leaving now. After checking out 2001 "spectacles" ... I'm going "back to the future" ... Bye! ...

 

[davenn]

You've said that before, in 2029!

hahaha ... great response

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Math was easy in the Roman empire. x was always 10.

But what was y?

There was only one [geopolitical] variable in the Roman empire: 'Roman Power'. And it was always a 10.

 

[DrGreg]

Math was easy in the Roman empire. x was always 10.

But how could $X$ be constant if $V$ was 5? A paradox.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

V then would have to be a function, not a variable. E.g. V(X) = 1/2 X ["domain of X" = D = {10} ]

 

[kuruman]

Why were $p_x$ and $x$ cited by the traffic cop?

Spoiler

They were caught driving together in the commuter lane.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Why were $p_x$ and $x$ cited by the traffic cop?

Spoiler

They were caught driving together in the commuter lane.

Was it a quantum cop?

 

[fresh_42]

But how could $X$ be constant if $V$ was 5? A paradox.

$V(t) = DX(t)$ but $t$empus fugit, ergo $V = DX =$ dividere $X$:

 

[DrGreg]

ergo $V = DX$

5 = 510? Another paradox.

 

[mfb]

V II = X, if we skip multiplication signs between numbers.

 

[fresh_42]

5 = 510? Another paradox.

That's because these idiots killed Archimedes. No wonder they couldn't differentiate!

 

[Stavros Kiri]

V II = X, if we skip multiplication signs between numbers.

Thus 7 = 10. Another paradox!

 

[fresh_42]

Thus 7 = 10. Another paradox!

$1\,0$ can be any number greater than $1$.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

$1\,0$ can be any number greater than $1$.

Proof?

 

[DrGreg]

V II = X, if we skip multiplication signs between numbers.

And if we don't skip multiplication signs $515 = LXV = L \times V = 50 \times 5 = 250$

But how could $X$ be constant if $V$ was 5? A paradox.

Roman accelerations were also constant:$$a = v \frac {dv}{dx} = 5 \cdot \frac {505}{510} \approx 4.95$$

And one more: $2 = ii = i^2 = -1$.

 

[fresh_42]

$1\,0$ can be any number greater than $1$.

Proof?

$1\;0=1\cdot b^1 + 0 \cdot b^0$ and now chose a basis $b>1$ of your choice.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

$1\;0=1\cdot b^1 + 0 \cdot b^0$ and now chose a basis $b>1$ of your choice.

Then always 2 = 3 = ... = 10 = etc. , and we don't need Roman power anymore!
Is that why the Roman empire fell?

 

[mfb]

And one more: $2 = ii = i^2 = -1$.

3 = iii = -i = -1?

 

[kuruman]

If a mole is Avogadro's number, what's a guacamole?

Spoiler

Avocado's number.

 

[davenn]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Another time-traveller joke (visitor of PF):
Birth date: May 1, 2050
Occupation: Time cop
...

1st post: where did that phony historian time-traveller go?

 

[kuruman]

A clown hurled a pie at another clown's face whereupon both clowns vanished. Why?

Spoiler

They had a face difference of one pie.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

View attachment 199565

How soft and "micro" was the apple?

 

[kuruman]

Why did the electron spin skip attending this year's 95th anniversary gala celebration of the Stern-Gerlach experiment?

Spoiler

It wasn't up for it.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

How soft and "micro" was the apple?

Or should I say "How "micro" and soft was the apple?" ? (to be understood better ... )

[I didn't want to have made it that obvious, ... that's why I flipped the order. (See also davenn's original)]

 

[DennisN]

I'm thinking about starting a club, The Black Hole Club, anyone want to join?
We have some rules:

1. When you approach the club, you must set your watch to tick at a slower rate.
2. What goes on beyond the event horizon stays beyond the event horizon.
3. Rule number 3 is you do not talk about what goes on beyond the event horizon.
4. You must cut off all your hair and we will charge you for this.
5. You can not leave. If you try, we will disintegrate you into radiation.

Any other rule that may fit the club?

 

[kuruman]

Any other rule that may fit the club?

Rules 4 and 5 could be modified to be less intimidating. Mandatory haircuts and the specter of disintegration will not attract prospective members which is what this club is all about.

 

[mfb]

- To enter, you must cross the Killing fields (what did you expect?).
- Spaghetti is not just a food, it is also the way you will enter the club.

 

[zonde]

I'm thinking about starting a club, The Black Hole Club, anyone want to join?

If I would want to invest in your club will I get my interest as black money radiation?

 

[Stavros Kiri]

It must be a "really dark club"! (society)
I'm afraid to sign up ...

 

[fresh_42]

8. Our club life lies mostly in the dark. However, from time to time an M&A of our franchises cannot be avoided. This might make some waves in public. Be prepared.

 

[kuruman]

If I would want to invest in your club will I get my interest as black money radiation?

You get your money only if it evaporates.

 

[Bandersnatch]

The Black Hole Club

Members must always maintain appearance to the outside worlds as if they're yet to join the club, even though they have long since passed the hazing rituals.

 

[OmCheeto]

...
- Spaghetti is not just a food, it is also the way you will enter the club.

And by what method should we use, to become spaghettified?
hmmmm...
(google google google)

Ah ha!

When entering the club, one must lose one's clothing, becoming singularly naked, and don some ramen type clothing. Available at amazon.com for between $29.99 & $34.99, USD.

If entering the club with someone else, you must argue incessantly regarding noodle/pasta/ramen/spaghetti quadrality, where they are all the same thing at once, but can be viewed differently, depending on which culinary experiment one is going to feast upon, once you've had time, if and only if time actually exists in the club, after looking at the menu.

 

[kuruman]

Should you choose to become spaghettified, you'd better watch out for pastafarians and the flying spaghetti monster.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster

 

[Stavros Kiri]

I just started swimming, so if there's no swimming in the club ... no way!

 

[mfb]

We have swimming covered

 

[Stavros Kiri]

We have swimming covered

e.g. "Swimming in Spacetime: Motion by Cyclic Changes in Body Shape"

Count me in! Ou yeah! ... count me in!
It's an opportunity to also learn how to swim in dark ... and in fierce gravity.
Any known black hole as a canditate for the premises?

 

[davenn]