Collection of Science Jokes P2

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

A new policy for Physics Forums?

 

[DrClaude]

This hits too close to home. I teach quantum mechanics but can't understand my university's accounting...

 

[dkotschessaa]

This hits too close to home. I teach quantum mechanics but can't understand my university's accounting...

My theory is... Yes you can. It's just...so..DULL.

 

[fresh_42]

My theory is... Yes you can. It's just...so..DULL.

My theory is, that the capability is direct proportional to the distance to the next liquor store ...

 

[collinsmark]

Hee hee.

[Source: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/the-other-side-of-the-chessboard-2]

 

[davenn]

 

[julian]

An oxygen atom walks into a bar and tells the barman "I think I have lost an electron"
The barman says "Are you sure?"
The oxygen atom says "Yes, I'm positive."

 

[fresh_42]

Cuius GUT demonstrationem mirabilem sane detexi hanc a PF regulis abhorrere et exiguitas non caperet.
(I have discovered a truly miraculous GUT, however PF rules and size of posts doesn't allow me a development here.)

 

[mfb]

Posuerunt eam in arXiv.

(Put it on arXiv - assuming google translate did a good job)

 

[Wastrophysicist]

http://www.jupiterscientific.org/sciinfo/jokes/physicsjokes.html
It's funny to see they have an explanation for every joke for people away from science. Anyway, it's fun.

 

[fresh_42]

http://www.jupiterscientific.org/sciinfo/jokes/physicsjokes.html
It's funny to see they have an explanation for every joke for people away from science. Anyway, it's fun.

One joke there was:

A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a gin and tonic?" The bartender smiled wryly and replied, "For you, no charge."

Shouldn't it have been:
"If you hurry up, no charge."

 

[fresh_42]

Spoiler: The Patience Paradox

The less you have from the more you lose.

 

[davenn]

Spoiler: The Patience Paradox

The less you have from the more you lose.

so true !

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[dkotschessaa]

Can anyone vouch for this?

 

[DrClaude]

Can anyone vouch for this?

Yes!

 

[EnumaElish]

Job interview for staff economist.

 

[Battlemage!]

Can anyone vouch for this?
View attachment 111409

Lol that's really funny.

 

[DennisN]

Can anyone vouch for this?

I can vouch for that it is really funny!

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[Phellippe Marques]

Can anyone vouch for this?
View attachment 111409

How about silicium?

 

[dkotschessaa]

Why won't the sun go to college?

Spoiler

It already has millions of degrees.

 

[Bandersnatch]

Hullo

Not wanting to make a new thread for this silly endeavour, I'll ask here.

Say, if you wanted to come up with a cheeky cosmology-related science joke, what would it be? (I'm thinking, maybe, to put it on a t-shirt)

The best I can think of is: 'yo mama so fat, her curvature is indistinguishable from flat using current best measurement methods'

Any other ideas?

 

[fresh_42]

Why won't the sun go to college?

Spoiler

It already is bright enough.

 

[dkotschessaa]

Hullo

Not wanting to make a new thread for this silly endeavour, I'll ask here.

Say, if you wanted to come up with a cheeky cosmology-related science joke, what would it be? (I'm thinking, maybe, to put it on a t-shirt)

If I wanted to come up with one, how would I know what it would be until I came up with it?

 

[Bandersnatch]

Grumble grumble. It made sense in my mind when I was writing it! And I was only slightly drunk at the time, too.
No, seriously, I need to learn conditionals, properly, one of these days.

 

[dkotschessaa]

Grumble grumble. It made sense in my mind when I was writing it! And I was only slightly drunk at the time, too.
No, seriously, I need to learn conditionals, properly, one of these days.

Just don't drink and derive!