Convert Xbox to Marshall & Morphy XJX: Time Machine Help

  • Thread starter Thread starter bozo the clown
  • Start date Start date
  • Tags Tags
    Machine Time
AI Thread Summary
The discussion revolves around converting an Xbox into a time machine, specifically the Marsahll & Morphy XJX 24-hour time machine. Key points include the challenges of installing an anti-gravity chip without causing static discharge, with various humorous and impractical suggestions offered, such as using a genetically engineered marmoset and methods involving David Blaine's levitation techniques. Participants debate the feasibility of using an Xbox for this purpose, with some suggesting a DeLorean as a more suitable vehicle for time travel. There are also concerns about the potential consequences of time travel on the fabric of reality and the legality of using Xbox hardware for such modifications, highlighted by a mock legal warning from Microsoft regarding copyright infringement. Overall, the conversation blends technical inquiries with absurd humor, emphasizing the complexities and absurdities of attempting to create a time machine from an Xbox.
bozo the clown
Messages
93
Reaction score
0
I need help converting my X-box to the Marsahll & Morphy XJX 24 hour time machine.

How do I install the anti gravity chip without a static discharge, I've tried everything from Zykron static discharge units to David Blaine levitation ?

Also I need a cheap Quad sync time pulser crystal

tx
 
Physics news on Phys.org
bozo the clown said:
I need help converting my X-box to the Marsahll & Morphy XJX 24 hour time machine.

How do I install the anti gravity chip without a static discharge, I've tried everything from Zykron static discharge units to David Blaine levitation ?
I use a genetically engineered, static-free marmoset that I trained to replace all components.
Also I need a cheap Quad sync time pulser crystal

tx

Well, if your machine was working, you could go to the swap-meet, in New Des Moines, but since it doesn't exist yet, you're kinda screwed. I suggest manipulating the stock market for a few weeks, use the profits to buy your QSTP xtal, jump to the meet, buy a cheapie, then hop back to prevent yourself from screwing up the time stream before the chronocops catch you.

Njorl
 
Who in their right mind would use an X-box to create a time machine. Your going to end up crashing the fabric of space and time.
 
bozo the clown said:
How do I install the anti gravity chip without a static discharge, I've tried everything from Zykron static discharge units to David Blaine levitation ?


The David Blaine method has come under some scrutiny lately and perhaps it has caused some of your difficulty.

Did you try the Zyrcon units before or after the DB method? If you tried DB first, some residual blather may have been left on the motherfathersisterbrother-board. David Blaine blather is extemely counterintuitive to any logic circuits and could reverse all intended outcomes.

I'd suggest a hadron composite rectilineator to reset the circutry, and you may have to get a new Zyrcon unit, since they only work until you try to use them.

Seeing as how you have not thanked me yet, I guess It didn't work.

to be said by bozo the clown
You people are talking goblydygook do you understand my post ?
As I came back, I picked up this huge wad of cash!
 
Last edited:
Good grief. You're an idiot. For starters, you need a Delorian. That's the best frame for the job, large enough to carry you and a passenger to the required "take-off" speed, large enough to carry the required equipment, et cetera. Strong chassis. Next, install a flux capacitor (tm) just between and behind the seating area. If you're into time travl, then you know all about flux capacitors. They may be a rather old technology, but they work fine. Reliability should be high on your list of priorities while scooting through time. You can usually find a second hand flux capacitor on Ebay at a reasonable price (although often those selling time-travel gear on the net are doing it as a scam; they sell something, travel, take it back, sell it again...). Now, some people like junk-powered, some like steam, some use solar, whatever. I like the Mini-Apocalypse Cold Fusion Master from Suitcase Nuke Incorporated. It's the size of a briefcase and should power your time traveling car nicely for about 250,000,000 years (subjective, of course). If you want flight capability, I suggest a set of Gravitron Booster 3000s from Hoverlite (a company which gets started in the year 2019, so you'll have to shoot forward to install these). They're fast, reliable, and provide amazing manoeuverability. And of course when you travel through time, you can sometimes arrive in altered Earth environments, due to industrial disasters or such, so I suggest taking a few litres of peanut butter. Smearing it along the edges of the doors and winoows works very nicely for a bit of extra sealing.

Oh, take a cat, and trust it's instincts. Cats being the masters of time travel and trans-dimensional motion.

X-Box indeed. Pfft.
 
First of all, the X-Box Conversion, XBC, to M^2 XJX is of course the poor-man's-method of time travel (As has been hinted at in previous posts).

Some important notes before proceeding:

1. By the time you procure the parts to perform the conversion, you'll end up spending more in time and effort than the money you'll save by going this cheaper route.

2. This method also leaves your X-Box disabled for usual game play, which many people consider unacceptable.

3. Einstein, in his studies of time, determined mathematically that time is indeed money. So, armed with this knowledge, are you sure you want to advance quickly through time? Having advanced quickly through money, I can tell you that it is not all that it is cracked up to be.

4. The parts you are looking for will probably not be available online, however, I can get them for you, for a fee. Of course if you are planning to install the kit yourself, it will negate the warranty and there can be no guarantee that the parts will function correctly.

In my conversion kit I have added many special features for instance: many people who have done this conversion have experienced Boise-Einstein Condensate flux. Should this occur, just push the special button, which I provide with the unit marked, "Flux Off."
 
bozo the clown said:
I need help converting my X-box to the Marsahll & Morphy XJX 24 hour time machine.

How do I install the anti gravity chip without a static discharge, I've tried everything from Zykron static discharge units to David Blaine levitation ?

Also I need a cheap Quad sync time pulser crystal

tx

Sorry, but those titles have not yet been released outside Japan.
 
Next week, you will haven told me that it will workened out.
 
You people are talking goblydygook do you understand my post ?
 
  • #10
Sure. Get a Delorian.
 
  • #11
I just use a tuna sandwich...
 
  • #12
I believe time travel would be impossible. If somebody had a working time machine it would virtually tear the fabric of...well...everything! All 11 Dimensions (according to M-theory).
I've played X-box, I lose a lot. If that was actually happening (with time travel) anyone would ruin the universe as we know it. (Hence, if you have rigged up something like that, I suggest NOT using it!)
 
  • #13
Dear [bozo the clown]:

It has come to our attention that you have made an unauthorized use of our copyrighted hardware entitled [x-box] in the preparation of a work derived therefrom. WE have reserved all rights in the Work, first published in [date], [and have registered copyrightof Microsoft]. Your work entitled time machine] is essentially identical to the Work and clearly used the Work as its basis.

As you neither asked for nor received permission to use the X-box as the basis for [Time Machine] of same, WE believe you have willfully infringed my rights under 17 U.S.C. Section 101 et seq. and could be liable for statutory damages as high as $150,000,000,000 as set forth in Section 504(c)(2) therein.

WE demand that you immediately cease the use and distribution of all infringing works derived from the Work, and all copies, including electronic copies, of same, that you deliver to me, if applicable, all unused, undistributed copies of same, or destroy such copies immediately and that you desist from this or any other infringement of my rights in the future. If I have not received an affirmative response from you by [date give them about 2 weeks] indicating that you have fully complied with these requirements, I shall take further action against you.

Very truly yours,

Microsoft





OR ELSE...
 
  • #15
kaos said:
Dear [bozo the clown]:

It has come to our attention that you have made an unauthorized use of our copyrighted hardware entitled [x-box] in the preparation of a work derived therefrom. WE have reserved all rights in the Work, first published in [date], [and have registered copyrightof Microsoft]. Your work entitled time machine] is essentially identical to the Work and clearly used the Work as its basis.

As you neither asked for nor received permission to use the X-box as the basis for [Time Machine] of same, WE believe you have willfully infringed my rights under 17 U.S.C. Section 101 et seq. and could be liable for statutory damages as high as $150,000,000,000 as set forth in Section 504(c)(2) therein.

WE demand that you immediately cease the use and distribution of all infringing works derived from the Work, and all copies, including electronic copies, of same, that you deliver to me, if applicable, all unused, undistributed copies of same, or destroy such copies immediately and that you desist from this or any other infringement of my rights in the future. If I have not received an affirmative response from you by [date give them about 2 weeks] indicating that you have fully complied with these requirements, I shall take further action against you.

Very truly yours,

Microsoft





OR ELSE...
:smile: So, does that include any copies that he already distributed in the future, after the patent expiration date? :biggrin:
 
  • #16
Moonbear said:
:smile: So, does that include any copies that he already distributed in the future, after the patent expiration date? :biggrin:

Oh crap now my head is spinnmg...
 
  • #17
Time machine help?

Just read the .
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Hot Threads

Recent Insights

Back
Top