Creative Writing major completely infatuated with a Physics Grad student

[TMFKAN64]

I'm old. All young women are attractive. :-)

 

[zoobyshoe]

I'm old. All young women are attractive. :-)

Ah, not what I was thinking.

The reason I assumed, without even consciously thinking about it, she was attractive is that her posts seemed free of any anxiety over whether the TA would think she was physically attractive. That indicates a history of being treated as attractive by most men she's encountered. Therefore, I'd also probably would assess her as attractive.

 

[Kajahtava]

Ah, not what I was thinking.

The reason I assumed, without even consciously thinking about it, she was attractive is that her posts seemed free of any anxiety over whether the TA would think she was physically attractive. That indicates a history of being treated as attractive by most men she's encountered. Therefore, I'd also probably would assess her as attractive.

This is of course waiting to be disillusioned.

But tell me, how do we know she is attractive? I think I missed a part here. Even I want to know what she looks like now.

 

[fictionftw]

The reason I assumed, without even consciously thinking about it, she was attractive is that her posts seemed free of any anxiety over whether the TA would think she was physically attractive. That indicates a history of being treated as attractive by most men she's encountered. Therefore, I'd also probably would assess her as attractive.

Ah, I see where you were going with that. Hmmmmmm. But I don't know if I'd really follow that myself - I could be narcissistic or blatantly delusional or something.

:]

I dunno, I consider myself reasonably attractive, but I mainly just get told that by my friends who like to say supportive things like "Dang girl, looking hot!", "Ow ow cutie!", etc etc. I do get told I'm attractive by boys...drunken boys...drunken frat boys looking to hook up...so I feel like everybody who I've received input from is either super biased or otherwise ulterior-ly motivated.

Also, I think I have good days, and I think I have bad days. And sometimes I wear my hair in a ponytail, and sometimes it's down, and sometimes I put my contacts in, or sometimes I'm lazy and wear glasses, and sometimes I dress up to go out, and sometimes I'm in the library without any kind of makeup. So it honestly just depends.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Ah, I see where you were going with that. Hmmmmmm. But I don't know if I'd really follow that myself - I could be narcissistic or blatantly delusional or something.

:]

I had the same instinct as Zoob when I first read your thread. I noticed that you did not seem to have any concern for whether or not he would be attracted to you and never pointed out anything that may support that we was attracted to you. It seems that insecure people will generally either look for, and highlight, evidence that the person is attracted to them or voice an assumption that this is not an issue because they know that they are attractive. They way that you do neither of these things gives me the impression that you are fairly secure in your self perception.

Narcissism often betrays a lack of confidence, like an over compensation. I have known multiple women who would hit on any guy, any where, any time. Generally it seemed to be that they were attempting either to find reinforcement of their self perception as attractive (because they were not assured of it in themselves) or they were forcing themselves to act as though they were attractive even though they did not believe it themselves.
Men do this too of course but I think it is more often just because they want to get laid and not so much because they are concerned with their self image.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Ah, I see where you were going with that. Hmmmmmm. But I don't know if I'd really follow that myself - I could be narcissistic or blatantly delusional or something.

:]

I dunno, I consider myself reasonably attractive, but I mainly just get told that by my friends who like to say supportive things like "Dang girl, looking hot!", "Ow ow cutie!", etc etc. I do get told I'm attractive by boys...drunken boys...drunken frat boys looking to hook up...so I feel like everybody who I've received input from is either super biased or otherwise ulterior-ly motivated.

Also, I think I have good days, and I think I have bad days. And sometimes I wear my hair in a ponytail, and sometimes it's down, and sometimes I put my contacts in, or sometimes I'm lazy and wear glasses, and sometimes I dress up to go out, and sometimes I'm in the library without any kind of makeup. So it honestly just depends.

All of which reminds me of the other thing that tipped me off: you are attractive enough to have the luxury of eschewing the attentive, but shallow, frat boys in favor of someone whose personality you actually like. Also, you said to Evo he's not the physical type you're usually attracted to. i.e. physically you can usually do a lot better. All these little tell-tails lead to an unquestioned assumption by me that you were attractive. I didn't realize it till TMFKAN64 just asserted it without explanation.

 

[Char. Limit]

You know what the weirdest part of reading the first post was? The description of the TA sounds exactly like an older version of me... down to the number of T-Shirts worn a day, the paleness, everything.

In addition, I'm going to sign up as a tutor when I enter college next year...

If any of the girls at Washington State are like you, fictionftw, college will be fun. Finally, someone to date who I know is attracted to me! (Not you in particular, but someone like you. I'm not a stalker.)

 

[zoobyshoe]

You know what the weirdest part of reading the first post was? The description of the TA sounds exactly like an older version of me... down to the number of T-Shirts worn a day, the paleness, everything.

In addition, I'm going to sign up as a tutor when I enter college next year...

If any of the girls at Washington State are like you, fictionftw, college will be fun. Finally, someone to date who I know is attracted to me! (Not you in particular, but someone like you. I'm not a stalker.)

You're in luck! She just mailed me a pic:

[URL]http://www.28th-infantry-division.us/store/ugly%20girl%200.bmp[/URL]

All yours, Char. Limit!

 

[Char. Limit]

You're in luck! She just mailed me a pic:

[URL]http://www.28th-infantry-division.us/store/ugly%20girl%200.bmp[/URL]

All yours, Char. Limit!

You know, you'd do better cropping the bottom strip. If you're going to do that, at least make it more believeable by taking away the company logo! AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

Sorry, but if it's not perfectly executed, I become the Hulk. You understand, right??

 

[zoobyshoe]

Sorry, but if it's not perfectly executed, I become the Hulk. You understand, right??

Uh oh. Creative writing majors all over the world have just put a slash through your name.

 

[kof9595995]

You know, these joyous posts really cheer me up for the day.

 

[fictionftw]

Hm, as for the attractiveness logic, I guess I understand where you guys are going with it, but I don't know if it's all that accurate because 1) I think I'm pretty insecure, so I don't quite know how the opposite was conveyed in my original post, 2) Just because you like attractive people, doesn't mean they like you back; so just because he's not my usual 'type' that I go for, doesn't necessarily mean that I'm dating attractive people. Maybe I like cute guys but never end up with any of them bc I'm unattractive? Who knows?

But here, if the TA and I end up going out, I'll post a picture of us so you can gauge how attractive/unattractive we are for yourself. Fingers crossed!

Lol, these posts are ridiculous. :D OMyGosHhH!11! How did you find my picture?!

As a side note, someone here told me to check out the Big Bang Theory, and after being pestered by my other friend, I finally just caved in and watched an episode...SO hilarious. 13 episodes later, I absolutely love this show.

But, what I can't figure out is why is Penny so attractive? She's really bland. And annoying! And depthless. Her only defining characteristics are that she works at the Cheesecake Factory and has a VAGINA. Seriously, where's the appeal? Can somebody explain?

 

[Borek]

Her only defining characteristics are that she works at the Cheesecake Factory and has a VAGINA.

I don't know the show, but I think you put too much weight to her work place. I told you earlier that psychology of a male is a simple one.

 

[fictionftw]

I don't know the show, but I think you put too much weight to her work place. I told you earlier that psychology of a male is a simple one.

Yeah, that was sort of my point. :/

 

[rewebster]

I can't tell so far if you're waiting for him to make a move. Him being into physics may put him into the 'I know physics, but I don't know women' area.

Ask him out for coffee when he looks less stressed than usual.

 

[rootX]

But, what I can't figure out is why is Penny so attractive? She's really bland. And annoying! And depthless. Her only defining characteristics are that she works at the Cheesecake Factory and has a VAGINA. Seriously, where's the appeal? Can somebody explain?

Penny is not attractive?

She doesn't have anything wrong with her face and her face is so clear and she dresses nicely and doesn't have bad glasses ..

 

[fictionftw]

Penny is not attractive?

She doesn't have anything wrong with her face and her face is so clear and she dresses nicely and doesn't have bad glasses ..

No, lol, not what I meant. Penny is really cute/pretty physically, I guess I just mean her personality-appeal. I'm only part way into the first season, so maybe this gets explained more later, but I have a hard time seeing why Leonard still continues to like her. Yes, she's pretty, but what else does she have going for her?

She's nice I suppose...but I feel like her character hasn't been given any other defining attribute than "Description: waitress, isn't geeky".

 

[fictionftw]

I can't tell so far if you're waiting for him to make a move. Him being into physics may put him into the 'I know physics, but I don't know women' area.

Ask him out for coffee when he looks less stressed than usual.

No, I'm waiting for me to be able to make a move. I'm pretty sure it's against faculty policy for TAs to date the students currently in their classes, so I plan on emailing him for coffee after the quarter is over. I'd rather not email but there's really no other way to get in contact with him over the summer. :[

 

[rewebster]

No, I'm waiting for me to be able to make a move. I'm pretty sure it's against faculty policy for TAs to date the students currently in their classes, so I plan on emailing him for coffee after the quarter is over. I'd rather not email but there's really no other way to get in contact with him over the summer. :[

well, that's the only limitation/obstruction, it sounds like, and you don't know if it is the policy. Find out---maybe from a teacher or a TA in another area, or call an administrative office ---what's the big deal IN FINDING out-for SURE

if you wait until summer, I'd guess you'd just give up now, and not think about it any more

 

[lisab]

well, that's the only limitation/obstruction, it sounds like, and you don't know if it is the policy. Find out---maybe from a teacher or a TA in another area, or call an administrative office ---what's the big deal IN FINDING out-for SURE

if you wait until summer, I'd guess you'd just give up now, and not think about it any more

And if you figure out a way to do that, please let us know.

 

[rewebster]

And if you figure out a way to do that, please let us know.

by finding someone else?

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Hm, as for the attractiveness logic, I guess I understand where you guys are going with it, but I don't know if it's all that accurate because 1) I think I'm pretty insecure, so I don't quite know how the opposite was conveyed in my original post, 2) Just because you like attractive people, doesn't mean they like you back; so just because he's not my usual 'type' that I go for, doesn't necessarily mean that I'm dating attractive people. Maybe I like cute guys but never end up with any of them bc I'm unattractive? Who knows?

I doubt anyone is really all that secure. If your read most of the threads about people who have crushes and are considering asking the person out though you will find that they almost invariably contain reasons why the poster thinks that the person will or will not be attracted to them which they are fretting over. Your post only seems to place a concern on a practical issue of compatibility.

Of course it is also possible that you are such a good writer that you have fully integrated the writers prohibition against weak assertion into your everyday writing. ;-)

 

[Kajahtava]

I'm pretty sure it's against faculty policy for TAs to date the students currently in their classes.

These kind of rules always puzzled me, is there some testable definition of 'to date'?

I mean, what if you don't make it official and announce it but still kiss, is that allowed?

Or can't they kiss their students?

What if he's just mildly in love with you and pulls favourites regardless of any intimacy there or not?

Thoughtcrime? He cannot have certain feelings?

 

[rewebster]

I knew a couple of teachers in college 'dating' students---and one married a student

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

These kind of rules always puzzled me, is there some testable definition of 'to date'?

I mean, what if you don't make it official and announce it but still kiss, is that allowed?

Or can't they kiss their students?

What if he's just mildly in love with you and pulls favourites regardless of any intimacy there or not?

Thoughtcrime? He cannot have certain feelings?

Policy is generally against "fraternization" which is still vague. It is generally interpreted to mean having any sort of relationship with the student other than a professional one. Still vague. I guess it is supposed to be vague. The purpose, technically, is to reduce the likelihood of conflicts of interest. A person could still give better grades to "cuter" students and poorer grades to "annoying" students but there is not much control over that. It is far easier to control whether or not a person will feel pressured to give different grades based on an existing relationship with the student.

 

[Kajahtava]

Policy is generally against "fraternization" which is still vague. It is generally interpreted to mean having any sort of relationship with the student other than a professional one. Still vague. I guess it is supposed to be vague.

The only rules not vague in universities are the ones you learn in your textbooks eh?

But to be honest, I never got this at all, a lot of these rules seem to assume some well-defined notion of a 'relationship', a thing itself I always found vague, especially 'breakups' or 'trying to win some one over', but surely the reason I don't get this is because I'm too enlightened for your archaic social customs, I reject your view on romance and substitute my own.

The purpose, technically, is to reduce the likelihood of conflicts of interest. A person could still give better grades to "cuter" students and poorer grades to "annoying" students but there is not much control over that. It is far easier to control whether or not a person will feel pressured to give different grades based on an existing relationship with the student.

Quite likely, a lot of rules are not there to be enforced, rather they are there only for a scaring measure or to 'not give passive support to some practice'.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Quite likely, a lot of rules are not there to be enforced, rather they are there only for a scaring measure or to 'not give passive support to some practice'.

In my job we have a rule against "fraternization". I have directly observed the sort of issues that arise when this is ignored. I had to go and assist one of my coworkers because he allowed a situation to get completely out of hand. Each side of the issue believed that due to their friendship the other would not go against them even though they were at cross purposes. My coworker got upset and started yelling and cussing and further breaching rules of professional propriety.

 

[Kajahtava]

In my job we have a rule against "fraternization". I have directly observed the sort of issues that arise when this is ignored. I had to go and assist one of my coworkers because he allowed a situation to get completely out of hand. Each side of the issue believed that due to their friendship the other would not go against them even though they were at cross purposes. My coworker got upset and started yelling and cussing and further breaching rules of professional propriety.

But how do you prohibit 'fraternization', this means you cannot drink a beer together after work, or what?

Also, you've been prudent to observe the 'Kai' in lieu of 'Kaj' I see, excellent work.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

But how do you prohibit 'fraternization', this means you cannot drink a beer together after work, or what?

It depends on the situation. When I worked as a "Public Safety" officer at a college I could likely have gone to have a beer with a staff coworker even though they were technically under my supervision as far as campus rules and such go. They would have been held to the same standards of professional conduct as I was. The students would not have been though and we were strictly prohibited from any nonprofessional activity with a student in or out of the workplace. Not to say that no one ever got away with it.
The TA/student relationship is a bit different though since they are both students and it would be hard to strictly forbid any and all nonprofessional interaction. I'm not sure exactly how that works out.

Also, you've been prudent to observe the 'Kai' in lieu of 'Kaj' I see, excellent work.

It reminds me of Kai from LEXX. Not sure if you ever watched that show or would really appreciate the comparison.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Hm, as for the attractiveness logic, I guess I understand where you guys are going with it, but I don't know if it's all that accurate because 1) I think I'm pretty insecure, so I don't quite know how the opposite was conveyed in my original post,

You are assessing yourself as "insecure" now because the degree of your security has become a topic. When it wasn't the focus you demonstrated no natural worries about it, which made an unconscious impression on me.

Yet another thing that gave me the automatic impression you're attractive is the list of what might be called 'rules of dress' you gave Turbo. It's my experience that women who make and observe such guidelines do so because they have something worth packaging well. The converse is also true: that which is packaged well is automatically more attractive.

Of course, "attractive" is a pretty ambiguous word. Asserting you're attractive based on clues in what you've written is no more specific than asserting I'm sure you're not "unattractive". It's calling heads or tails. I'm mostly intrigued by the unconscious train of thought that made me so sure it was one and not the other. The logic is good, but nothing's 100% airtight. There are anomolies.