Creative Writing major completely infatuated with a Physics Grad student

[Borek]

You should make the 1st move and let the guy know you want to go on a date. Typical guys at advanced levels in physics/math/etc. are usually not aggressive going after chicks. They want to determine beyond a doubt the girl likes them before making a move, so you just let him know and that will settle it. Either he goes on a date with you or he doesn't.

Ah, the joys of answering an old thread without reading it.

 

[GeorginaS]

Do guys give the girlfriend warning in casual conversation? I don't know many guys who talk about their girlfriends often as an aside in casual conversation. The few who do never shut up about them, every topic returning to the subject of their relationships. It's super annoying.

Um, yeah! Isn't that the internationally recognised signal from guys when they notice a woman is interested in them and/or they're interested in said woman? They mention something to do with "wife" or "girlfriend" pretty quickly to let everyone know where everything is. It's only fair. "Well, my wife's dragging me out to go shopping for new blinds for our daughter's room" let's a woman know exactly what's what without having to step out and make themselves vulnerable.

I rather get a bit of a kick out it when it's evident that a fellow thinks I'm interesting, and they consequently mention a wife/girlfriend several times in quick succession. I don't have to do or be doing a thing. It's almost as if they're reminding themselves. Which is cute. But, if I was even considering asking if they'd like to go for coffee or something, I'm already forewarned what the situation is. Which I appreciate.

 

[Office_Shredder]

So would saying something like "I was planning on going out to dinner on Saturday, but remembered I don't have a girlfriend" be an acceptable alternative for us single men? Or would it have to be something more like "I'm going to be eating dinner alone on Saturday, what are you doing?"

 

[GeorginaS]

So would saying something like "I was planning on going out to dinner on Saturday, but remembered I don't have a girlfriend" be an acceptable alternative for us single men? Or would it have to be something more like "I'm going to be eating dinner alone on Saturday, what are you doing?"

I'm going to assume this was a serious question, even though amusingly stated. (That'd be kind of novel, actually. "I'm eating dinner alone and etc.")

What I mean is, I was under the impression that people telegraph their relationship situation (unless they're a player) in casual conversation if they think there's any personal interaction potential. So, if you're single and are pretty sure a woman you've met is single, and you'd like to create an opening for either/both of you to step into without stepping in other stuff, you'd casually drop into the conversation that you and your girlfriend broke up four months ago.

Not jump into a whole song and dance about what a b***h she was and all of the awful/crazy/stupid stuff she did that drove you insane. Just a passing mention about your current relationship status.

And if you are in a relationship and meet a nice young lady who seems to be interested in you (and even if you're wrong about the signals, it still doesn't hurt to do) you mention something about your girlfriend or wife, again casually, in conversation. That way the woman in question doesn't have to guess or screw up her courage and take a flyer by inviting you out for coffee only to hear, "Oh, thanks, but I have a girlfriend". Alrighty then. Then it's awkward and there was no reason to let her go out on a limb like that. Just a simple, "Yeah, my girlfriend and I saw that movie last weekend. It was great!" Information dropped, situation under control.

This should also happen in the reverse, meaning women should offer than information to men too. Like I said, it's only polite.

 

[Topher925]

I don't believe a single word of this thread...its all lies.

 

[Galteeth]

I don't believe a single word of this thread...its all lies.

I want that on a bumper sticker.

 

[fictionftw]

For the sake of my emotional health, I probably shouldn't be on this thread again, but three cheers for self-destructive behaviors!

bringing up a girlfriend in conversation will be unwelcome because she doesn't have his interest, or because she thinks he thinks she is interested.

However disappointing it would have been to find out that he had a GF early on, I can guarantee that finding out after I asked him out was a ZILLION times worse. Because then I was disappointed, and humiliated. And because it had gone on for so long, I was considerably more than disappointed, actually.

Yeah, GeorginaS, explained the 'Why You Should Drop the Girlfriend Hint' very well. I'm actually a little surprised there was some contention over it. If you are currently in a relationship, and you meet somebody who is flirting with you, it is a common courtesy to mention your relationship status. You don't have to ramble. You don't have to make it awkward. You just drop the hint. It takes about 2 seconds, and saves about 2 months of pining.

Alternatively, you could just make a Facebook profile that publicly displays your relationship status. That takes care of it too.

So would saying something like "I was planning on going out to dinner on Saturday, but remembered I don't have a girlfriend" be an acceptable alternative for us single men?

Ahahaha! That would be funny. But no, you would just keep on flirting. Or keep on allowing the girl to flirt. You're basically single until discovered taken, I guess.

And thanks for all the supportive comments! :]

Btw, Topher, what don't you believe?? :/