Dating Advice for the Newbie Dater

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AI Thread Summary
The discussion revolves around navigating the complexities of dating after a hiatus, particularly focusing on how to approach a first date with a smart, no-nonsense woman. The main advice emphasizes being authentic and observant, suggesting that one should not alter their personality excessively to impress. Humor and playfulness can be beneficial, but it's important to gauge the other person's reactions and maintain a balance between seriousness and goofiness. Several anecdotes illustrate the importance of being genuine, with examples of dates that went well due to light-heartedness and spontaneity, contrasted with experiences of awkwardness stemming from overly serious or immature behavior. Participants agree that making a good impression is crucial, but ultimately, being oneself is key to forming a genuine connection. The conversation also touches on the idea of compatibility and the significance of mutual enjoyment during interactions as indicators of attraction. Overall, the consensus is to relax, be attentive, and focus on creating a comfortable atmosphere rather than overthinking the dynamics of the date.
  • #51
Cyrus said:
Were you arguing with a woman or a man about this?
I was having a discussion, then disagreement, with a woman. Most of the women I know are older than me, and many of them are what one might call - 'liberated' - although from what I'm not sure.

When a man goes out dressed nice, its expected that his date does as well, considering that its a formal event. If she does not want to dress up, she can simply stay at home. She lives in a society, and so does the man. There are consequences that result. I think there are far more important thinks to worry/argue about than this though. Honestly, who cares how revealing her dress is.
A lot of people (both men and women) like to get dressed up when they go out. That's fine, but it ain't me. I don't care to dress 'nice'. I'd rather dress comfortably.

I'll put on a suit for an occasion, but if I want to have a nice relaxed time, I don't want to be dressed up. I'd prefer business casual, perhaps a tie, but I'd prefer blue jeans and T-shirt.

Personally, I find dressing up to be silly and pointless. I can't stand hard shoes. And IMO, high-heeled shoes look ridiculous.

As for how revealing a dress. Over the years, some women I've known complained about the pressure to wear 'sexy' dresses or high heeled shoes. I expressed my thoughts - "then don't wear that stuff". My comments were not appreciated. :rolleyes:
 
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  • #52
Personally, I find dressing up to be silly and pointless.

I think this notion is generally false. Dressing up represents the local culture of a place. Style changes from city to city even in the states. Dressing nice does not mean dressing uncomfortably.
 
  • #53
I always enjoyed dressing up for parties. I had a large assortment of cocktail dresses and gowns. I had to go to many formal parties and honestly, dressing up was quite fun. I had at least one black tie affair a month that required an evening gown.
 
  • #54
Cyrus said:
I think this notion is generally false. Dressing up represents the local culture of a place. Style changes from city to city even in the states. Dressing nice does not mean dressing uncomfortably.

I agree. I really can't wear high heels. I have two pairs of dancing shoes with low-ish heels I can wear, but most heels cause too much pain (I used to wear them and enjoyed it since I'm short and they made me look taller, but after an ankle injury years ago, was never able to wear most heels comfortably again...the tendons just won't cooperate). Instead, I have some really cute ballet flats that look equally good with casual pants and nice dresses that I get compliments on every time I wear them, and I don't have to risk my toes taking my shoes off to dance (though the dancing shoes work for that too...they're much better padded and supported than usual high heels). I've never had anyone give me a hard time over wearing comfortable shoes (I have made mistakes and worn shoes I THOUGHT would be comfortable that turned out not to be so comfortable with a lot of walking, and then got a bit of teasing from the person I was walking with about women wearing shoes for looks rather than comfort knowing full well that wasn't my plan).
 
  • #56
Cyrus said:
http://www.skechers.com/

They have good shoes and they are comfortable and affordable.

I didn't know they made anything other than sneakers! I usually wait until I'm visiting a city to buy shoes. My one friend makes fun of me that I always go shoe shopping when I visit, but it's the one place I know I can find shoes that are both stylish AND comfortable for doing a lot of walking.
 
  • #57
Moonbear said:
I didn't know they made anything other than sneakers! I usually wait until I'm visiting a city to buy shoes. My one friend makes fun of me that I always go shoe shopping when I visit, but it's the one place I know I can find shoes that are both stylish AND comfortable for doing a lot of walking.

it sounds like your 100 miles north of International Fall (not that Canada is desolate everywhere)
 
  • #58
Evo said:
I always enjoyed dressing up for parties. I had a large assortment of cocktail dresses and gowns. I had to go to many formal parties and honestly, dressing up was quite fun. I had at least one black tie affair a month that required an evening gown.
Yeah, I remember the black outfit. But then you'd look gorgeous in anything you'd wear.

IMO, Evo, Moonbear, MIH and the PF sisters look nice in anything they'd wear, so fancy clothes are not necessary.

I've always found suits too confining, and for footwear, I prefer moccasins or nothing. For dressy shoes, I prefer soft leather at most.
 
  • #59
Dressing up is, ultimately about looking and feeling good. It's foolish to voluntarily wear clothes (or do anything else) that doesn't bring out the good things in oneself.
(Question for the grammer nazis - should that have been "don't" in the line above.)
There are situations that call for particular clothing - I would not recommend welding or long distance motorcycle riding in shorts and a t-shirt, and formal events do have their uniforms.

In my, admittedly limited experience, the only part of a suit that is particularly restrictive is the jacket, which can be shed fairly easily. Button-up shirts, suspenders, belts, and slacks can all be quite comfortable -- in my experience slacks and button-ups are more comfortable than jeans which tend to be heavier and knit shirts.

High heels are popular for the changes in posture and gait they produce as much as anything else.
 
  • #60
Dressing up is, ultimately about looking and feeling good.
Sure - that's blue jeans and T-shirt for me - and bare feet. :biggrin:
 
  • #61
rewebster said:
it sounds like your 100 miles north of International Fall (not that Canada is desolate everywhere)

:smile: No, but the nearest city is an hour and a half away, and that's hardly a "real" city. The nearest "real" city is about 3 hours away. But, having grown up in NJ, I also can't kick the habit of visiting "THE" city, which means NYC. On the other hand, when what I need is warm, durable clothing for working outdoors on a farm, I'm not shopping in a city for those.
 

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