Funny phrases taken out of context

[turbo]

And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin' outta my butt that day!

 

[Artman]

"That's my boat."

 

[turbo]

“A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat.'”

 

[Artman]

"I would rather be remembered for my own small contribution to science then for my accidental relationship to a famous...cuckoo."

 

[Artman]

"Want to go get some coffee?"

 

[Hurkyl]

Luckily, it's a multipurpose lead sheet.

 

[Artman]

"I suggest you put on a tie."

 

[Hurkyl]

IF YOU CAN DEFEAT JUNPEI IN MORTAL COMBAT YOU CAN ENTER.[/size]

 

[Andre]

But spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling "Tuesday" simply doesn't count.

 

[Artman]

"Depends on who's playing Macbeth."

 

[twisting_edge]

"Fishing for Martians with a swizzle stick?"

- yours truly (these things just slip out sometimes)

 

[physics girl phd]

"He'd rather play with his robot than have [relations] with me."

 

[twisting_edge]

"He'd rather play with his robot than have [relations] with me."

Huh? I can't imagine a context in which that would not make perfect sense.

 

[Andre]

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind!
The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.

 

[rhuthwaite]

"I suggest using a double fold so that one fold is beyond a control so that the control is visible, but when you get to the control swap to the fold before the control so that the original contol is still on the visible bit of the map."

 

[Artman]

"We can do that. We don't even need a reason."

 

[ultranet]

amaizing...

 

[Artman]

"Right in the lumber yard."

 

[Andre]

"There are only about 20 murders a year in London and not all are serious"

Scotland yard (- is also a yard)

 

[Artman]

"Not in the yard, from the yard."

 

[Chi Meson]

"A palindrome of Bolton would be Notlob!"

 

[Artman]

"Not a finga'!"

 

[Andre]

units and dimensions,

A milli Helen (mH) is the amount of beauty that can launch a single ship

 

[ndola]

There, now my lip smells much better.

 

[jobyts]

"My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you’ll join with me as we try to change it."

 

[JaredJames]

"Today's landing will be slightly more vertical than usual!"

 

[Ivan Seeking]

"Lieutenant D'Sora just gave me what could be considered a very passionate kiss in the torpedo bay."

 

[Borg]

My first thought on seeing this thread was to take multiple quotes out of context. Something like this:

All your base are belong to us.
You're going to have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.