Have men been priced out of the dating market?

[DiracPool]

A good story and one people here should pay attention to.

I see too many guys posting here with the certainty they're screwed vis a vis women because of some ridiculous preconception they've bought into about what all women want. I've personally broken all those barriers. I've had girlfriends taller than me, richer than me, better looking than me. Whatever criteria women say they have is always tentative, subject to change depending on actual overall "chemistry".

That's pretty much it, women love to have that option of changing their mind. Makes me really frustrated after I bought them the diamonds and now they want pearls!

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xij53e_prince-diamonds-and-pearls_people#.UbBio5rn_IU

 

[HeLiXe]

I may never be able to buy my wife everything she ever dreamed of, but I did make ever piece of furniture in our house and to her the effort I put into try to get her to smile is worth more than that BMW that guy had.

awwww <3

 

[Evo]

In the end, if you can make a girl happy, you'll find how quickly money drops in importance. I may never be able to buy my wife everything she ever dreamed of, but I did make ever piece of furniture in our house and to her the effort I put into try to get her to smile is worth more than that BMW that guy had.

Your wife sounds lucky to have you.

 

[Lavabug]

In a sudden fit of enthusiasm, I got on a number of the more popular social/dating sites in my area. Anyone who has never done this before will find something quite telling. As a lower bound, there are 4 times as many ads from males than there are from females, and most of them seem like legit, real people. Almost all of the female ads are prostitute or scam ads. You'll find even worse statistics in random pair-up webcam chat rooms intended to meet people (certainly NSFW... I found out the hard way :S).

Oh, and well though this wasn't new to me, the biggest/oldest paid dating site in my part of the world (the equivalent of okcupid or similar) charges male members exclusively. Females pay no fees for contacting male members.

 

[Lavabug]

I need to find a man with a BMW. Maybe I can get my college tuition paid off and also get the new xbox.

I found your mate right in my hometown:

http://www.datanta.es/user-view_user-141708.html

It's a Mercedes, but close enough!

 

[WannabeNewton]

I found your mate right in my hometown:

http://www.datanta.es/user-view_user-141708.html

It's a Mercedes, but close enough!

I can't see his face What if he isn't pretty

 

[Lavabug]

I have a pretty face, but I'm flat broke. You can't have everything in life.

 

[WannabeNewton]

I have a pretty face, but I'm flat broke. You can't have everything in life.

That's not what my 2nd grade teacher told me; I can have everything I want, that's what the education system taught me!

 

[dirk_mec1]

I can't see his face What if he isn't pretty

True beauty is on the inside...

 

[Lavabug]

True beauty is on the inside...

of his wallet!

 

[WannabeNewton]

True beauty is on the inside...

Boooo give me something I can actually work with man

 

[dirk_mec1]

Boooo give me something I can actually work with man

Ok, how about this:

All (feminist) women in my environment tell other women: "You don't need a man to be happy, living your life to the fullest and be independent makes you happy!"

 

[Lavabug]

I have a pretty face, but I'm flat broke. You can't have everything in life.

I retract the first statement, apparently 48 women on social dating sites concur I'm ugly! There goes what was left of my self-esteem... and my account. :P

 

[daveyrocket]

Ok, how about this:

All (feminist) women in my environment tell other women: "You don't need a man to be happy, living your life to the fullest and be independent makes you happy!"

Yeah, I think they're wrong about that. Considering the amount of time, resources and energy most people put into finding a life partner, and the number of studies out there that conclude that married people are happier than single people, I'd say that statement doesn't stand up to empirical verification.

 

[lisab]

I retract the first statement, apparently 48 women on social dating sites concur I'm ugly! There goes what was left of my self-esteem... and my account. :P

No-no-no, please don't put any consideration to faceless, anonymous opinions on the innerwebs! We know you here, and we like you a lot .

 

[dirk_mec1]

Yeah, I think they're wrong about that. Considering the amount of time, resources and energy most people put into finding a life partner,

That time energy and resources is mostly spend by men...

and the number of studies out there that conclude that married people are happier than single people,

That does not mean that this holds for all pepole :)

I'd say that statement doesn't stand up to empirical verification.

Maybe somebody should make another paper regarding this subject.

 

[dirk_mec1]

No-no-no, please don't put any consideration to faceless, anonymous opinions on the innerwebs! We know you here, and we like you a lot .

You say that lisa because you can't see his face on PF

 

[Lavabug]

You say that lisa because you can't see his face on PF

Absolutely. And the voters were definitely not faceless or anonymous!

I apologize for the cuss. :P

 

[WannabeNewton]

Baby youuuuu're amaaziiiiing juuuuust the waaaaaaaaay you aaaaaaaaaaaaare

 

[Bacle2]

Sorry, I saw a post somewhere claiming that marriage correlates with happiness, or something to that effect, but I lost track of who posted it. Anyway, here is a counterclaim:http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200303/marriage-is-not-the-key-happiness

 

[HayleySarg]

Hmm, I don't agree to the OP. My first point being that not everyone equates marriage or even children, with the ideal bond. In fact, I'm not planning to get married for quite some time, until it becomes financial advantageous to do so. My boyfriend feels the same way. Being secular has it's benefits. We see it as a big hoopla about nothing.

I didn't accept my boyfriend's advances becuase he was attractive. He was the first guy I've ever met outside of other physics majors that when I said "I study physics" he was entirely honest. He said "I don't know much about physics, but if you listen to my talk of history, I'll listen to your talk of physics"

Rather than "Oh, I'm so sorry"

He's an okay looking guy, but he was unemployed for 2 years of our relationship. Did I leave, even though I'm an average female who could "find better"? Absolutely not. To me, a relationship is a friendship first and foremost. Sure you can love someone, but do you LIKE them. That's the real question.

Money doesn't make you more likable. Looks don't make you more likable. Those things make you more tolerable, more approachable--but at the end of the day, it's what's inside. If you can't be silly, talk for hours, hold one another and support one another, then what are you? And here's a newsflash, even "ugly" people can laugh and cry and smile.

I'm sorry about your difficulties in dating. But to make sweeping generalizations about the playing field with little more than anecdotal evidence and bias will get you no where.

Cheers

 

[MarneMath]

To me, a relationship is a friendship first and foremost. Sure you can love someone, but do you LIKE them.

Random fact, my wife and I were married for over a year before she decided to like me. It took me nearly dying =(.

 

[Bacle2]

Hmm, I don't agree to the OP. My first point being that not everyone equates marriage or even children, with the ideal bond. In fact, I'm not planning to get married for quite some time, until it becomes financial advantageous to do so. My boyfriend feels the same way. Being secular has it's benefits. We see it as a big hoopla about nothing.

I didn't accept my boyfriend's advances becuase he was attractive. He was the first guy I've ever met outside of other physics majors that when I said "I study physics" he was entirely honest. He said "I don't know much about physics, but if you listen to my talk of history, I'll listen to your talk of physics"

Rather than "Oh, I'm so sorry"

He's an okay looking guy, but he was unemployed for 2 years of our relationship. Did I leave, even though I'm an average female who could "find better"? Absolutely not. To me, a relationship is a friendship first and foremost. Sure you can love someone, but do you LIKE them. That's the real question.

Money doesn't make you more likable. Looks don't make you more likable. Those things make you more tolerable, more approachable--but at the end of the day, it's what's inside. If you can't be silly, talk for hours, hold one another and support one another, then what are you? And here's a newsflash, even "ugly" people can laugh and cry and smile.

I'm sorry about your difficulties in dating. But to make sweeping generalizations about the playing field with little more than anecdotal evidence and bias will get you no where.

Cheers

It's more than just anecdotal. I posted a ref. to data supporting that people with higher income are more likely to marry--other people with high income-- than people with lower income, which are less-likely to marry (and, if/when they do marry they are much more likley to marry someone else of lower income).

 

[Lavabug]

Perhaps the claim about being married specifically can be disputed. But I think it's hard to argue that people in long-term relationships are less happy than people who are alone:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23097143

Looks like I'm lacking in all of the things they point out.

 

[HayleySarg]

Hence why I specifically stated happiness doesn't correlate with marriage. Sure, lower income people are less lilkely to marry. Female professors are less likely to have children--are they miserable?

So what if you marry someone with a lower income? I don't really understand the issue.

All I see is that people with equal stats marry one another. It's unusual to find someone leaping many levels above their "league". I'm sure this has as much to do with physical appearance as it does lifestyle, social circle, and interests.

 

[Digitalism]

If you put yourself on a path to success and display self-mastery, confidence, humor, and other positive traits you will begin attracting many more options. You're correct that good looks and financial status play a role, but this can be improved over time with proper diet, exercise, and education. Intelligence is also valued highly, use yours to improve your social skills, physical appearance, status etc in a way that is open and approachable and you will find yourself with no shortage of dates. Basically improve yourself and hustle.

 

[jduster]

It's not only the feminists who would find your ramblings offensive but rather anyone who engages in rational thought.

This, pretty much.

Justify it however you want, OP, but there are plenty of middle to lower class men who end in relationships with beautiful women. It's just you.

Also, real life is much different than online dating, OP.