zoobyshoe said:
According to my informants the biggest mistake guys make is to outright say they think the girl is attractive and then ask for some kind of date. Girls aren't impressed in the least that a guy thinks they're attractive: they get that all the time. You lose points for making the subject of your attraction to them a topic of conversation. You lose yet more points for implying they should be grateful for the compliment. Push it a little further and you're on their "no more chances for you" list.
The guys they're looking for are the ones who behave such that they (the girls) attracted to them, not the ones who make an issue of how much they are attracted to the girls.
As a general "rule", that is good. Another rule of thumb is "being yourself". I don't think constructing another persona or multiple ones is worth the pain.
As Zoobyshoe has said a few times, girls do get chat up a lot. If they're what most would consider hot, then it is very likely that they know people think so of themselves and another likely outcome for these particular girls is that they can tell when people will say this or that thing to them. Every other Tom, Dick and Harry has, after mustering up his courage, walked up to that girl and told her she's pretty. Then what? Yes, you told her she was pretty, what next? Telling a girl that *you think* she is attractive is not a bad thing, the bad thing here is falling short of words after you say it. If she is what most would consider attractive, it's very likely that others have been there before you and done that. And one thing that most people don't particularly like is being bored. Girls are no different.
There really is no formula to getting somebody to like you. If you really want somebody to like you, you're going to have to figure out how they think and what they like and then change your behaviour accordingly and I wouldn't advise that. There are *LOTS* of women (and men) alive today and if a hundred of them dislike you, what does it matter? There's **** loads more of people and if you find at least one that likes you, every once in a while, I'd say you wouldn't be doing so bad. And people skills is something that comes with practice. One can read all the theory one can put their hands on but actually putting all of that into action is what matters.
One of the things that I really enjoy is having interesting conversations with people, especially with women. I'm not very good at this but I make a conscious effort to try. Maybe one should figure out what they really want from somebody before attempting to get it...
No, really!
Also, girls while being a collective (lol), aren't a unit and they all have their little "quirks", if you will. What works with Natasha might not work very well with Natalia and so forth. One particular Thursday, I was on my way to class in the bus and I didn't have much to do. I had just finished reading through my notes quickly and wasn't in the mood to listen to Richard Ashcroft's voice through my headphones. Then I saw this chick come in. I didn't think she was very pretty but I thought I might talk to her and see what would come out of it. Worse case scenario is she won't say a word or will tell me to bugger off and I am absolutely fine with that.
So, I walked forward and took a seat next to her (had just been vacated) and I said: "Hi, I got to get down in a minute or two and I happen to think you're attractive. Here's my phone, tap in your number. Maybe we'll hang out some time and maybe it'll be fun." She smiled and said that she had a boyfriend. I said: "Yeah...as far as I know, I'm not really into men and I don't see how that concerns me. Maybe we could go back to what I was talking about, yeah?" She repeated that she was with someone and bla bla bla. Boring stuff. I laughed (cause I just found the whole thing funny), said I understood (or something of the kind) and got down at the next stop.
I also saw her on my way back home that day. She smiled at me when she saw me, I did likewise and that was it. She didn't get a sledge hammer from out of her handbag and try to hit me with it. She just smiled. That's all. Maybe I was lucky...
What is there to learn from this? There are women, lots of them. However, a lot of these women are a number of things but interested in you. Some of them are perfectly happy with who they are right now. Some of them are absolutely fine without any kind of boyfriend...hell, some of them are lesbians. Maybe another few are asexual and so on. So yes, the odds are quite high that any given woman won't be interested in you. So, if you get rejected, you don't have to take it personally...unless you're too much of a jerk, in which case, feel free to take it personally. :)
For the record, I said something similar to another girl. I had even less time to talk to her. She was much more attractive, in my opinion at least and she looked a bit more laid back. Then again, these are only assumptions based on her looks and mannerisms that I barely managed to glimpsed. So yeah, here's what happened..
Me: "I will be getting off of this bus in a minute or so. How much would you bet that I manage to get your number before then?"
I don't really remember what she said but I recall it being a fun minute and a half. No, I did not get her number but she asked me for my Facebook ID and that didn't really work out...because, well, I don't have Facebook. I could only muster a half-assed look and said, "Yeah...nah, I don't do Facebook - bye! Nice talking!"
Also, remember: figure out what you want. Why do I want to talk to this girl? Why her and not the other girl? Etc... If you know what you want, you'll be able to have a clearer idea as to how to go about with regards to actually getting it. Maybe you're looking for a random hook up or some kind of "relationship" or maybe you're like me and are trying to make what would have been an otherwise dull bus ride, become an interesting one. :)
P.S: I realize this post ended up being rather long winded. My apologies for this. I do hope it's of use to someone. ;)
Cheers
