Have You Ever Talked to an Attractive Woman?

[lisab]

Is it just me or have you guys noticed that when you meet someone new on campus and they ask what you are majoring and you respond with Math and Physics (well for me at least), their faces turn into the most confused or horrified look. Typical verbal response is "wow you must be a genius," "I couldn't ever imagine doing that," or "why?"

Try having that experience and being female ! I know exactly what you mean.

 

[Astronuc]

Is it just me or have you guys noticed that when you meet someone new on campus and they ask what you are majoring and you respond with Math and Physics (well for me at least), their faces turn into the most confused or horrified look. Typical verbal response is "wow you must be a genius," "I couldn't ever imagine doing that," or "why?"

I got that. Now when I mention nuclear engineering, I get asked about nuclear weapons, severe accidents, and host of other topics which seem to represent the anxieties of an uninformed and severely undereducated public.

 

[Lancelot59]

Is it just me or have you guys noticed that when you meet someone new on campus and they ask what you are majoring and you respond with Math and Physics (well for me at least), their faces turn into the most confused or horrified look. Typical verbal response is "wow you must be a genius," "I couldn't ever imagine doing that," or "why?"

I get that all the time when I say engineering. More so when I mention how many courses I take.

 

[rootX]

I will talk to almost anyone, but it has to be about math.

Here's the girl for you!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzLi_y4Vv5s

 

[Dougggggg]

Something like that just happened about an hour or two ago. We were playing poker and this girl asked my major and then responded, "of course!" I was kinda cleaning up the table just playing odds.

 

[Lancelot59]

Here's the girl for you!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzLi_y4Vv5s

Ehhhh, no. I wouldn't wanna...don't know where she's been. For that matter I don't know where those puppets have been.

 

[EinsteinsDog]

Is it just me or have you guys noticed that when you meet someone new on campus and they ask what you are majoring and you respond with Math and Physics (well for me at least), their faces turn into the most confused or horrified look. Typical verbal response is "wow you must be a genius," "I couldn't ever imagine doing that," or "why?"

its the look on their faces jajajaja priceless. A girl once told me I should go to a psychiatrist because my love for math was abnormal jajaja.

 

[Lichdar]

Yes.

Its not that complicated. They're attractive and yet, human in many ways that are entirely separate from their ability to ignite a physical reaction in you. So I just talk to them as human.

You tend to pick up cues pretty fast whether they're open to flirting, and I've always enjoyed that even if I never intended to pursue anything more. People like being reminded that they're attractive too.

I have, for the sake of experimentation, also tried blatantly hitting on girls and I think that if you do in the right place with enough of a sense of humor so that it does come off as silly rather than serious, it does work out well too.

The key is not coming off as a creep is not thinking /as/ a creep, and not acting as one. The pretty girl is just a pretty girl, not your only sole chance at love and adoration and acceptance; she's just someone who's probably nice and happens to be pleasant to look at too.

 

[Mentallic]

jajajaja

You need to move your finger one more spot over to the left.

 

[mathwonk]

the key is to lie. one of my old girl friends perfected this, she told strangers that i was a professional boxer and that she was a professional pool player. At least guys did not hit on her as much when I was around, but they did wonder why i was such a wimp.

 

[pergradus]

I don't, not so much that I'm afraid but just because it takes more than looks to get my attention.

If a girl is pretty and also has some quality that interests me, I have no problem approaching her. If she's just pretty, I'd probably not want to speak to her even if she approached me, and I have "rejected" good looking girls before because they are uninteresting to talk to.

I just think its sad for guys to have such low standards all the time.

 

[HeLiXe]

I don't, not so much that I'm afraid but just because it takes more than looks to get my attention.

If a girl is pretty and also has some quality that interests me, I have no problem approaching her. If she's just pretty, I'd probably not want to speak to her even if she approached me, and I have "rejected" good looking girls before because they are uninteresting to talk to.

I just think its sad for guys to have such low standards all the time.

This was great to read :) Thx for sharing your thoughts!

 

[Lichdar]

Yes, it is tragically sad for me to have such vastly low standards. I think I might have to make up for my plunging esteem with a threesome.

In all seriousness, though, I think there's value in all people and not talking to anyone because you feel like you have vastly inflated belief in how interesting or intelligent you are is robbing yourself of a lot of potential knowledge. And sexual partners, for that matter, but I'm a troglodyte after all.

 

[pergradus]

Yes, it is tragically sad for me to have such vastly low standards. I think I might have to make up for my plunging esteem with a threesome.

In all seriousness, though, I think there's value in all people and not talking to anyone because you feel like you have vastly inflated belief in how interesting or intelligent you are is robbing yourself of a lot of potential knowledge. And sexual partners, for that matter, but I'm a troglodyte after all.

Easy there skipper, don't get your towline in a tangle.

There's the key difference - I do not see value in all or most people. It doesn't have to do with my traits, but I do have taste and opinions and that extends to other people.

Generally most guys evaluate a girl on the sole factor of whether she's hot or not. I guess I just grew out of that high school mentality and a persons character is of huge importance to me, although there also has to be physical attraction. I need someone who can challenge me, whether that's intellectually or physically or on any other number of levels. I don't see why you're offended by my comment - lots of empty headed girls out there who I'm not interested in - more for you!

 

[Lichdar]

I'm no offended, just sarcastic ;) And good for you!

 

[SamirS]

DanP got it right. Hot women get hit on all the time by creepy, or stupid, or insecure, or plain boring guys. You need to be different (hence, memory-worthy) without being creepy.

Also, never give your number - always take hers. It's in our culture that women seldom take the initiative, and it's also very different if she can call you whenever she wants - there is nothing unexpected for her and she knows for sure she got you in her hand and that you are not the guy who takes control. It doesn't matter the least if any of this is actually true. It only matters what people think and feel.

Most guys come up to hot girls and are like "woah I want you and you know it, pleeeeaaaaase take me", albeit not in those words. Don't be that guy. The "you got me slightly interested, now you need to show me that you warrant that"-attitude while showing humor, confidence and that you are interesting yourself works much better.

You know those great salespeople who somehow invoke the feeling in their customers that the potential buyer wants to please the salesguy, even though he is the one who, objectively, needs to convince you? That's not.. entirely unlike!

 

[KingNothing]

Yes. And I usually go into my Borat voice and say "how much?"

 

[mathwonk]

this reminds me of my freshman year in college. there was a "mixer", i.e. a dance you could bring anyone to. I found myself with this smoothly confident guy with oily hair on the sidewalk outside the campus gates and neither of us had a date. He said, we need some girls, no problem there's lots out here. He immediately chatted up two cute if shallow young girls who looked magnetized by him. He handed them off to me, said I should entertain them while he got some more and strolled off. The girls looked disappointedly at me, asked me something like what do you do? and got a smooth answer like: I am a math geek from tennessee, what about you? They said something polite like well we have to go, and instantly disappeared. A few minutes later my new friend came back with about three more sharply dressed girls and asked where the other girls were. I said they had to go, and he said that's ok we have enough, and he went off to the mixer with one or two on each arm. I don't remember whether I actually had the nerve to go to the dance with them, but I probably did and gave up after a short time striking out. Until you get some practice chatting up the other sex, this is what its like for many of us. But everyone can learn. I am actually a married man, and my wife is both brilliant and gorgeous.

 

[turbo]

The key is to be non-threatening and a comfort to be around, even in relatively mild situations. When I managed my high-school's basketball team and kept the stats (I had far too many competing sports to train and compete in BB), I got to ride up front in the bus with the coach and the cheerleaders. A musician friend's younger sister (who was still 2 years older than me) used to glom onto me, take the window seat and lean on me and doze (sometimes drool) all the way home on the long bus trips. When she graduated, her younger sister (1 year older) claimed me for a seat-mate on bus-trips. None of this endeared me to the basketball team ensconced in the back of the bus behind the barrier of duffel-bags and ball-bags.

 

[Tregg Smith]

Hey,

Looking through this forum, it seems that many guys here are asking questions from a relatively lost, helpless perspective. They seem afraid to talk to girls, unsure of how to meet them and without the confidence to think that these women might be attracted to them.

The question: who has ever walked up to an attractive woman and started a conversation from nothing?

Corollary: if you're having girl problems, what's stopping you? Is it anything more than nerves/low self-esteem?

I agree with all that. Believe it or not most women actually want to meet someone but not someone with bad breath, green teeth, fingernails like broken claws and who smells like cigarettes and dirty laundry. Many times the woman who seems cold is just afraid and putting on a front and if you just say hello in a non threatening way she will come around. But don't be too foward. Say a little on one occasion then a little more until she feels confident you are not a perv. Try to appear as a gentleman. See Matt Damon in Hearafter. It is a compliment and assurance that she is desirable for a man to just walk up and start small talk-or even to give her a look. Wouldn't you feel the same? But you have to look decent unless of course she also is a slum dog. I kind of like slum dog bitches. And BTW be tactful in how you talk. If you only work off a beet wagon say you're in agriculture. Don't lie but be a salesman.

 

[wisvuze]

hell no :P I don't have the guts to talk to anybody; I rarely have the courage to open my mouth in ANY context ( I might say something that isn't quite what I wanted to say, or something ). Throwing a pretty girl in the mix just destroys any possibility at all aha

 

[wisvuze]

this reminds me of my freshman year in college. there was a "mixer", i.e. a dance you could bring anyone to. I found myself with this smoothly confident guy with oily hair on the sidewalk outside the campus gates and neither of us had a date. He said, we need some girls, no problem there's lots out here. He immediately chatted up two cute if shallow young girls who looked magnetized by him. He handed them off to me, said I should entertain them while he got some more and strolled off. The girls looked disappointedly at me, asked me something like what do you do? and got a smooth answer like: I am a math geek from tennessee, what about you? They said something polite like well we have to go, and instantly disappeared..

if that were a bit worse, i'd probably refrain from trying anything ever again aha; one of the reasons why I'm really recluse is to avoid situations like that

 

[mathwonk]

well i claim that's how you learn. next time you say something like: " I am a math geek from tennessee, ...but my cousin is django reinhardt!" or bill monroe, or mohammed ali, or richard feynman, ...of course it still doesn't work, but eventually one makes progress.

i.e. he who can sustain a sequence of such failures and not lose heart, and continue to evolve from them, eventually winds up with beautiful intelligent girls on every hand. really, trust me.

 

[mathwonk]

the comments above about who people find it interesting to talk to reminds me of a plane trip i once took, forced to sit near a boring woman and an interesting man. Turns out i found the man interesting because he seemed interested in me and asked me questions to draw me out. When he turned to the woman and began to engage her in conversation, suddenly she also became fascinating, and was not the boring person i had judged her as at all. In fact I was the boring (and judgmental) one, as the woman's story was much more interesting than mine. This man's questions revealed that everyone has an interesting side. The key was just taking an interest and being a good listener.

 

[Dude.]

This man's questions revealed that everyone has an interesting side. The key was just taking an interest and being a good listener.

Yesss! I think this is key to every conversation (regardless of the person's aesthetics, beliefs, faults, or knowledge). You've got to understand that every one of us has had extremely different lives and experiences leading up to this conversation. No 2 paths are the same. It's impossible for 2 brains in this universe to have the same life story (what with the arrow of time and cause and effect and whatnot).

So keep this concept in mind every time you meet somebody new. Find something they can teach you about the world, teach them something they don't know yet, ponder abstract questions together, question human nature, ask them what they do for fun, and definitely only ask about stuff you truly care about (because insincerity is very obvious and disheartening to anybody worth your time). But most importantly, be freakin' excited that you're about to learn something new that only this sack of cells in front of you can teach! That's awesome! =D


A good mentality I've found to go into conversations with is: a child's. Think about it, little kids have nooo inhibition or filters when asking the most interesting and personal questions. We seem to lose this art as we get older. Just don't go toooo personal too quick, because we don't all have the charm of a child's smile. You have to feel out where their emotional boundaries are, based on the depth of their answers and body language. Stay away from too deep of questions unless you have the time to fully comprehend their thoughts or if you can help them with a problem.

"Moderately intimate" at a slow incline of deepness is what psychologists say is "socially acceptable". Don't start out with "what position do you best achieve orgasm in?", start out with like, "what's your name?" and see where it goes from there, based on what peaks interest in you.



Also understand that they might not ask a single thing about you in the whole conversation. That's ok. You've got to realize that all people love talking about themselves, but not all of 'em want to listen (mainly because it takes wayyy more effort). If you're out of questions and they aren't helping you out, the conversation is done. Pick an exit line and move along about your life. They either aren't interested in you, aren't prepared for a new relationship (in the broad sense of the term), or they're satisfied with a shallow understanding of the world, meaning you really don't want to waste time with that simpleton anyways. There are sooo many deeply interesting people out there!

Related Quote:
"The one asking the questions holds reigns of the conversation" - Some guy from the past



A good question I've found for random people:
"What're good questions to ask random people?"

- key thought: ask yourself this! What would you love to be asked by a random person? And what makes you think that another brain out there wouldn't love to be asked this same question? Or hell man, one of those wrinkle blobs might know the answer! =O



ps - Beauty is subjective and relative. Treat everyone like an interesting mother f**ker (because they are), so that when you get to a cute chick, it really doesn't matter at all. They're just another interesting mother f**ker, only now they're pleasant to look at too! =D

 

[Winzer]

To answer the OP's question: not sober.

 

[zoobyshoe]

To answer the OP's question: not sober.

Which question?

 

[Lancelot59]

This is the original post.

Hey,

Looking through this forum, it seems that many guys here are asking questions from a relatively lost, helpless perspective. They seem afraid to talk to girls, unsure of how to meet them and without the confidence to think that these women might be attracted to them.

The question: who has ever walked up to an attractive woman and started a conversation from nothing?

Corollary: if you're having girl problems, what's stopping you? Is it anything more than nerves/low self-esteem?

 

[zoobyshoe]

This is the original post.

I know. But there are two questions. Is he saying he approached a woman when not sober, or that an alcohol problem is what's holding him back?

 

[Lancelot59]

I would assume it would be a sober affair.