Help, I've fallen for an astrophysicst

  • Thread starter Thread starter Klute
  • Start date Start date
AI Thread Summary
A 26-year-old art student with a passion for astronomy has developed feelings for a 33-year-old astrophysicist she met through her local astronomical society. Initially not attracted to him, she grew to appreciate his intelligence, kindness, and humility. Despite her concerns about not fully understanding his scientific work, she actively engages in amateur astronomy and enjoys popular science literature. The discussion revolves around her hesitation to ask him out, questioning whether a logical scientist could be satisfied with an artist. Responses encourage her to pursue the relationship, emphasizing that differing interests can enrich a partnership. Many contributors share personal experiences, highlighting that mutual respect and shared passions can bridge gaps in understanding. Ultimately, she gains confidence and successfully asks him out, receiving positive feedback and encouragement from the community. The thread concludes with excitement about her upcoming date and advice on navigating their differences.
  • #51
Klute said:
Well I had to ask a couple of times over each time getting less subtle until he finally got it. He went a bit quiet for a second and for an awful moment I thought he was going to say no but then he broke into a big smile and accepted ... phew!

Thanks again everyone for the advice and good wishes. I'm looking forward to it and I guess we can just see how we get on and take it from there but I have a really good feeling about this guy and I'm glad I took the chance to ask him out.

Great news!

Have fun and be yourself! :approve:
 
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  • #52
Evo said:
Oh, I think this is our first date resulting from our new "relationships" forum!

Yeah, the old "Flirtation Alerts" never worked, did they?

Or, did the alerts work too well??
 
  • #53
Klute said:
Well I had to ask a couple of times over each time getting less subtle until he finally got it. He went a bit quiet for a second and for an awful moment I thought he was going to say no but then he broke into a big smile and accepted ... phew!

:smile: Okay, this bit of advice will serve you well for a long time:
Don't be subtle with men. Tell them directly what you want or need or are asking or they won't get it.

If you fail to be direct, and inadvertently try to communicate something through subtle hints, don't get mad at them for missing what you thought were blatantly obvious hints. It's not their fault. They really do try, but they're just missing that gene.

Definition of subtle: Anything short of bludgeoning them over the head with a sledgehammer to make your intentions known. :biggrin:
 
  • #54
Good one, Moonie. It has taken over 30 years, but my wife now understands that subtle hints don't work on me. I'm nearsighted, too, so unless I'm wearing my glasses and she is in a well-lit area, I don't "get" body-language, either.
 
  • #55
Moonbear said:
It's not their fault. They really do try, but they're just missing that gene.

We are missing loads of genes. For example, the genes who gives you the patience to storm stores for 3 hours searching for a dress, then cross back in the opposite side of the city to the first store, and buy the very first dress you tried in the that day.

But we are cute and considerate and pay for the dress, so we really do deserve a break for our efforts :P
 
  • #56
DanP said:
We are missing loads of genes.

We do have a few extra ones, for example the TV-sports gene. Or the one for what Dave Barry called Male Genetic Dirt Blindness syndrome.
 
  • #57
jtbell said:
We do have a few extra ones, for example the TV-sports gene. Or the one for what Dave Barry called Male Genetic Dirt Blindness syndrome.

I agree. And I also blame male inability to solve the Toilet Seat Cover problem to genes.
 
  • #58
DanP said:
We are missing loads of genes. For example, the genes who gives you the patience to storm stores for 3 hours searching for a dress, then cross back in the opposite side of the city to the first store, and buy the very first dress you tried in the that day.

But we are cute and considerate and pay for the dress, so we really do deserve a break for our efforts :P

Even I'm missing that gene. I think my sister got a double dose though! :smile: That is one thing my boyfriend and I get along VERY well about...neither of us "shops." We BUY. In other words, we don't go to a store unless we know exactly what we are going for, head straight to that department, buy it, and get out. None of that running all over town looking for a bargain while spending twice as much in gas for the few dollars difference in cost between the first and last store.

Surprisingly, I'm the one with more tolerance for dirt and clutter than my boyfriend. Then again, we differ on cleaning approaches. I sort of go for the whirlwind of cleaning once a month approach, while he goes for the hire a housekeeper approach. :rolleyes: I'm a bit torn on the housekeeper idea. While I LOVE the idea of someone else doing the cleaning for me, I'm not so in love with the idea of going on a scavenger hunt for my own belongings after the housekeeper has put things away. He does know how to clean, and does leave the seat down. Though, then I'd drive him mad by also always putting the lid down. Having a cat who likes to drink from the toilet rather than her water dish has changed my perspective a bit. Currently, I just leave the lid up, but when she was in that stage when she'd dunk her toys in the toilet water and splash the seat while retrieving them, for a while I was the one who left the seat up just so it wouldn't be sopping wet with toilet water when I needed it. :smile: I think that may be the only reason he likes my cat.

I'm laughing at the whole "paying for the dress" part. It's been a while since my boyfriend has bought me anything. The last time he bought me something was over a year ago when he sent me flowers because I got a new job (same university, new department). I honestly don't mind, because our relationship isn't built on buying stuff for one another. But, just this week, we were talking about vacations and lifestyles, and spending habits, and amidst all of it, I commented that it would be nice to be spoiled with first class tickets to go some place warm and tropical for vacation (he ALWAYS travels first class...mostly because he always has enough frequent flyer miles with his business travel for it). He said I didn't like being spoiled so he didn't do it. I about died laughing. Whenever he does something nice, I thank him and tell him he doesn't HAVE to do that for me. And, it's true, it's not something I expect or demand. But, I had to explain to him that I certainly don't MIND if he does nice things for me, and I certainly do LIKE it when he spoils me, I just would never be so superficial as to expect it or demand it or require it. I mean, really, who doesn't enjoy being spoiled rotten by their significant other?
 
  • #59
Moonbear said:
They really do try, but they're just missing that gene.

DanP said:
We are missing loads of genes.

We used to have these genes. Those genes were where communication, manners and sensitivity were encoded.

But after Grok and Thag had one too many drunken falls from the Stegosaur, that chromosome got a corner busted off. Now it looks like a Y.
 
  • #60
Moonbear said:
.
Surprisingly, I'm the one with more tolerance for dirt and clutter than my boyfriend. Then again, we differ on cleaning approaches. I sort of go for the whirlwind of cleaning once a month approach, while he goes for the hire a housekeeper approach.

My mother use to take the housekeeper approach. She jokingly instructed me that if I hire hands for housekeeping work Ill better make sure they have a degree, or else Ill end up with dirt hidden under the bed and so on, you got the idea. I guess her cleaning lady never loved her too much, she was better than an army drillmaster in finding even trace amounts of dirt left uncleaned. I mostly take your approach to cleaning, but I do hire a cook. I never have too much mood to waste time with cooking, and I find the restaurant food pretty much unsavory. My girlfriend wouldn't touch the stove with a three meters pole.

Moonbear said:
Having a cat who likes to drink from the toilet rather than her water dish has changed my perspective a bit.

This explain why that furry cutie in your avatar wields a gun shooting through the window at ppl in the streets. Must be something in the water :smile:

Moonbear said:
Whenever he does something nice, I thank him and tell him he doesn't HAVE to do that for me. And, it's true, it's not something I expect or demand. But, I had to explain to him that I certainly don't MIND if he does nice things for me, and I certainly do LIKE it when he spoils me, I just would never be so superficial as to expect it or demand it or require it. I mean, really, who doesn't enjoy being spoiled rotten by their significant other?

I used to be the same. Several years ago we had an event important to the both of us, we where a bit tight on the money and with a lot of expenses, so we decided we won't buy gifts for each other. Guess what, I didnt buy anything and she made me a pretty considerate gift. You can imagine how I felt :P I started somehow slowly understanding that "you don't have too" doesn't mean she doesn't really enjoy gifts :P
 
  • #61
DaveC426913 said:
But after Grok and Thag had one too many drunken falls from the Stegosaur, that chromosome got a corner busted off. Now it looks like a Y.

And doesn't the Y feel damn good ?
 
  • #62
Moonbear said:
Even I'm missing that gene. I think my sister got a double dose though! :smile: That is one thing my boyfriend and I get along VERY well about...neither of us "shops."
The comic freefall has a half-dozen or so strips on the issue. It's an amusing read.

Start here.
 
  • #63
Hurkyl said:
The comic freefall has a half-dozen or so strips on the issue. It's an amusing read.

Start here.

:smile: Those are great! I really like the one that says, "Great! You just gave an engineer a problem that can't be solved with duct tape. Now we're going to be stuck here all day." :smile:
 
  • #64
Every time I see the title of this thread, I want to add "and I can't get up!" :-p
 
  • #65
Moonbear said:
:smile: Those are great! I really like the one that says, "Great! You just gave an engineer a problem that can't be solved with duct tape. Now we're going to be stuck here all day." :smile:

There are probolems that can't be solved with duct tape?

Ah, you mean those that require WD40?
 
  • #66
Ok here for the love of god. DO NOT ASK HIM OUT. THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING TO DO. I don't care who you are but you are seriously taking away his manliness. Give him a lot of IOI (indicators of interests)

Here's a list of IOI you can do with him

http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/list-of-iois-vt36387.html

If he still isn't biting, give up because a real man would see these IOI and ask you out already unless he's just generally not interested in you.

ASK HIM OUT TO GO CLUBBING WITH YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS. Then atleast become intimate there. Get drinks

Honestly if you really have fallen in love with this astrophysicist, have sex with 12 guys and if you still want the astrophysicist, then proceed and get him.
 
  • #67
kramer733 said:
Ok here for the love of god. DO NOT ASK HIM OUT. THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING TO DO. I don't care who you are but you are seriously taking away his manliness. Give him a lot of IOI (indicators of interests)

I don't understand how asking him out would take away his "manliness".

kramer733 said:
If he still isn't biting, give up because a real man would see these IOI and ask you out already unless he's just generally not interested in you.

Are real men not shy?

kramer733 said:
ASK HIM OUT TO GO CLUBBING WITH YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS. Then atleast become intimate there. Get drinks

How do you get intimate in a club?

kramer733 said:
Honestly if you really have fallen in love with this astrophysicist, have sex with 12 guys and if you still want the astrophysicist, then proceed and get him.

Is this a serious suggestion?
 
  • #68
Dembadon said:
I don't understand how asking him out would take away his "manliness".

Because the men are supposed to ask the women to date. You never see this happen. It just does. This coming from my cousins (25+ years old) and my brazilian jiu jitsu instructor. It just doesn't make you manly.

Are real men not shy?

Real men have confidence and an incredible amount of mental strength to overcome anything. This in my opinion is what defines a man.

How do you get intimate in a club?

.. Have you never been in a club before? One thing leads into another and before you know it, you're in bed. He can call you back if he's interested. He'd have already broken the ice so it won't be as bad.

Is this a serious suggestion?

Yes. I'm quite serious. Read the book "the game" by neil strauss.

USE THE INDICATORS OF INTERESTS.
 
  • #69
kramer733 said:
Ok here for the love of god. DO NOT ASK HIM OUT. THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING TO DO. I don't care who you are but you are seriously taking away his manliness. Give him a lot of IOI (indicators of interests)

Here's a list of IOI you can do with him

http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/list-of-iois-vt36387.html

If he still isn't biting, give up because a real man would see these IOI and ask you out already unless he's just generally not interested in you.

ASK HIM OUT TO GO CLUBBING WITH YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS. Then atleast become intimate there. Get drinks

Honestly if you really have fallen in love with this astrophysicist, have sex with 12 guys and if you still want the astrophysicist, then proceed and get him.
That has to be the worst advice I've ever seen
 
  • #70
Evo said:
That has to be the worst advice I've ever seen
Is kramer a Cyrus sock-puppet? :smile:
 
  • #71
Evo said:
That has to be the worst advice I've ever seen
OMG And you just had that procedure. God help him/her.
 
  • #72
dlgoff said:
OMG And you just had that procedure. God help him/her.
Which procedure? Sex with 12 guys?
 
  • #73
Now you're in trouble too turbo.
 
  • #74
dlgoff said:
Now you're in trouble too turbo.
Pretty much a given, dlg.
 
  • #75
turbo-1 said:
Which procedure? Sex with 12 guys?

At the same time?








Welcome to PhysicsForums.com!
 
  • #76
Evo said:
That has to be the worst advice I've ever seen

I hope you realize a lot of your genders do those IOI. So you're calling your gender dumb >_>
 
  • #77
kramer733 said:
I hope you realize a lot of your genders do those IOI. So you're calling your gender dumb >_>
A lot of people pray before exams in addition to studying.

You are telling the OP to forget about actually studing and just pray. Does that make Evo dumb for saying your advice to "not study" is terrible advice?
 
  • #78
kramer733 said:
I hope you realize a lot of your genders do those IOI. So you're calling your gender dumb >_>

Hmm...we try to keep the level of discussion here above retorts that a 10-year-old would use.

Your advice is truly bizarre: don't ask him out, just flirt; take him to a club and "at least become intimate there" (:confused:); and to sleep with 12 guys to be sure of her feelings...really?!?

You're either trolling, or you need to work on your delivery.
 
  • #79
Evo said:
That has to be the worst advice I've ever seen

Ditto:approve:

Whatever happened to our 1st successful date anyway?:biggrin: I guess if the good advising cause that people disappear from here we should stop giving good advice:biggrin::devil:
 
  • #80
Evo said:
That has to be the worst advice I've ever seen
I concur!

Much better advice:
Evo said:
Ask him out and stop worrying. You are looking for a romantic relationship not an academic collaboration. You sound like a nice person. :smile:
 
  • #81
It's actually pretty flattering to be asked out on a date by a woman. Not emasculating at all. Much harder is to say no without hurting feelings.
 
  • #82
Lisa! said:
Ditto:approve:

Whatever happened to our 1st successful date anyway?:biggrin: I guess if the good advising cause that people disappear from here we should stop giving good advice:biggrin::devil:

There's been a first successful date based on our advice?? :eek:

They should dump them immediately! If anything anyone has suggested here actually worked, then there's something seriously wrong with the person they're dating!

It kind of makes me wonder ... where is a person most likely to get good dating advice?

1) The Physics Forum
2) The Divorce Forum
3) Yahoo Answers
4) From a Chinese fortune cookie

Should a person be depressed about having searched all four places for advice?
 
Last edited:
  • #83
Lisa! said:
Whatever happened to our 1st successful date anyway?:biggrin:

Must have gone well -- she's too busy counting her lucky stars with the new guy to come and report back! :!)
 
  • #84
rolerbe said:
Must have gone well -- she's too busy counting her lucky stars with the new guy to come and report back! :!)
Imagine the headlines a few centuries from now:

Just in: Humans from Internet Age found in ancient capsule near asteroid Pluto; extinct forum may hold answers.
 
  • #85
Hello Everyone, my, my this thread has been busy since I last checked! Yes sorry for not reporting back sooner but thought I would post today to let you all know that everything is still going great with my astrophysicst! It's still very early days but we have really clicked and I just have a really great feeling about things, not exactly scientific but sometimes you really do just need to go with your intuition. Thanks again everyone for all the advice and giving me the push I need to go after him. This is my best Christmas in years!

Merry Christmas everyone and all the best for 2010!
 
  • #86
I would say that's the first time I hear that PF advice was actually right. But if it worked - I am happy with you.

All the best!
 
  • #87
It's still very early days but we have really clicked and I just have a really great feeling about things, not exactly scientific but sometimes you really do just need to go with your intuition. Thanks again everyone for all the advice and giving me the push I need to go after him.

I am not sure what that means ... in a relationship/single/complicated
 
  • #88
rootX said:
I am not sure what that means ... in a relationship/single/complicated

It means we win! We got an assist.
 
  • #89
BobG said:
There's been a first successful date based on our advice?? :eek:

They should dump them immediately! If anything anyone has suggested here actually worked, then there's something seriously wrong with the person they're dating!

It kind of makes me wonder ... where is a person most likely to get good dating advice?

1) The Physics Forum
2) The Divorce Forum
3) Yahoo Answers
4) From a Chinese fortune cookie

Should a person be depressed about having searched all four places for advice?

:smile::smile:

No, s/he should come straightly to you and cyrus for advice!
 
  • #90
Wish you the bst of luck, Klute!:smile:
rolerbe said:
Must have gone well -- she's too busy counting her lucky stars with the new guy to come and report back! :!)

You were right!:biggrin:
 

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