How many of you have not had a bf or gf?

[Evo]

The Evo Child's new boyfriend is drop dead gorgeous (I Think), but he is incredibly shy. He also a real sweetie, the other day I was at her apartment and he served me pizza he'd just made.

He's had a crush on her for two years and was too afraid to talk to her. He thought she was so incredible that she'd never consider him. At one point, he applied for a job at a place she worked so he could get to know her, what he didn't know was that she had just quit, he was crushed.

I've got to ask her how he finally approached her.

 

[Knavish]

Ok I'll admit it, I am 24 and have never had a boyfriend.

You loser.

 

[peejake]

Is that before or after getting married?

Well i could not be possibly married at 18 without meeting a girl that i fell in love with...

 

[eggman]

I could tell you how to find a girl...its very easy

But if I did...you'd seek me out...Hunt me down...and kill me...

...

 

[SimplySolitary_]

Can someone explain this? Does confidence really matter, or do you just want a guy who has other real qualities, those qualities that justify his confidence? If it's the latter, then is it really the confidence that's attractive, or is it instead all the good qualities he has that justify his confidence? If it's the former, then what about this:

Suppose you meet a guy who respects you, who is funny, interesting, intelligent, attractive, etc. but lacks confidence, would you pass him up? On the other hand, what if you met a guy who was confident, but was unnattractive, or stupid, or rude, etc? Would confidence make up for one of those things?

In confidence, I simply meant a first impression! I wouldn't (But have, come to think of it) date a man who had confidence but was a jerk. I mean when a person is talking, have confidence in themselves to carry out a conversation, be confident in your walking, the way you hold yourself, ect ect. It gives a beautiful first impression.

Example; I went to a small bookstore in the mall today. After looking around a bit, I went to the man who worked at the counter and asked him to show me the science section (I had such a hard time finding the dang thing...). He wasn't extremely attractive, and had the quote "nerd" look to him, but he was confident in the way he explained how he was trying to expand the section, and in telling me what was there, and such, and by the time he left me there I wished he hadn't.

Confidence makes a beautiful first impression.

 

[brewnog]

I've never had a boyfriend either...!

Of the girls I've been with, the ones I've loved and the ones who have lasted have been the ones I've got together with whilst I've not been actively looking for someone.

If you start actively trying to find someone, some weird thing happens and you send out 'desperate' vibes which make ladies run a mile. The ones you meet when you're really trying to find someone are the one nighters, and the ones you keep seeing anyway even though you know they're not right for you!

I don't know why but I think the advice about being comfortable with yourself first is really good; after all, why would you want to be with someone who doesn't like who you really are?

 

[Les Sleeth]

Well i could not be possibly married at 18 without meeting a girl that i fell in love with...

Being the current philosophy guru I must point out that you certainly could be married without meeting a girl you fell in love with. You might be an illegal alien hoping to stay in the US, you might have mistaken hornyness for love, you might have gotten so drunk in Las Vegas you thought you were in love, someone might have spiked your drink with Ecstasy . . . and so it goes with what people think is love :!)

 

[peejake]

Being the current philosophy guru I must point out that you certainly could be married without meeting a girl you fell in love with. You might be an illegal alien hoping to stay in the US, you might have mistaken hornyness for love, you might have gotten so drunk in Las Vegas you thought you were in love, someone might have spiked your drink with Ecstasy . . . and so it goes with what people think is love :!)

well putting that all aside les sleeth...i don't drink for one thing...just hate it don't know why...What is so great about drinking anyway? The stuff tastes like crap, even if it is the costliest wine or alcohol ever or even the cheapest...Alcohol is responsible for the worst of the worst deaths..."Drinking and Driving" so why take it at all...Take it so that you would feel in the company of others at a party...get ure drink spiked and end up in more trouble...Certainly not...

 

[SimplySolitary_]

well putting that all aside les sleeth...i don't drink for one thing...just hate it don't know why...What is so great about drinking anyway? The stuff tastes like crap, even if it is the costliest wine or alcohol ever or even the cheapest...Alcohol is responsible for the worst of the worst deaths..."Drinking and Driving" so why take it at all...Take it so that you would feel in the company of others at a party...get ure drink spiked and end up in more trouble...Certainly not...

Just hypothetical situations, I'm sure.

And drinking comes from many things, feeling the need to be accepted, to forget the past, to hope the future will never come, ect. And actually, there's this watermellon drink, I believe it's Bacardi, and it tastes quite good, as far as alcoholic beverages go. And some sort of strong liquor that tastes like black liquorish, amazingly good. Funny, I don't even drink.

 

[peejake]

Ok I'll admit it, I am 24 and have never had a boyfriend.

Excuse me! that does not sound and look quite right

 

[loseyourname]

Hey, I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 18, and I've had too many since.

 

[honestrosewater]

Neither do I.

...

 

[honestrosewater]

Excuse me! that does not sound and look quite right

He can't help it. He was born with that face.Oops, I forgot to say the more useful part. Define 'a nice person' to be someone who does not laugh in your face or spit on you when you approach and attempt to talk to them. If you are looking for a nice person, the first step to finding one, or many, is simply to start approaching and talking to people. If you are looking for a different type of person, you might be better off hiring a professional (unless you enjoy being spit on, of course).

If the real problem is that you want something that you think you don't deserve, I think you might want to change that. It doesn't seem like a healthy thing to want, and even if you do get it, it doesn't seem like a healthy thing to keep.

Otherwise, I don't see what the problem is with being single.

 

[scott1]

Whats with everyone perpetuating the stereotypical nerd on a computer forum?

|)0n'7 61r|5 |1k3 6uy5 wh0 (4n 5p34k 1337, and don't they like girls who know what http:// means, or who where big cool squared glasses, and who have a live +7 elf in World of warcraft?

 

[AKG]

In confidence, I simply meant a first impression!...

Thanks for the explanation.

 

[Les Sleeth]

well putting that all aside les sleeth...i don't drink for one thing...just hate it don't know why...What is so great about drinking anyway? The stuff tastes like crap, even if it is the costliest wine or alcohol ever or even the cheapest...Alcohol is responsible for the worst of the worst deaths..."Drinking and Driving" so why take it at all...Take it so that you would feel in the company of others at a party...get ure drink spiked and end up in more trouble...Certainly not...

I was just teasing you, don't take anything I said seriously.

However, love does seem to be difficult to maintain for many people. One thing I've learned (and am still learning) is to separate the experience of love from "love objects." If I want to stay in the experience of love, it seems best if I just am determined to experience it without having my partner, or whomever, be some way before I allow myself to feel it. That way I get to experience love regardless of how others are behaving or appear.

It takes the pressure off of a relationship too. If you are constantly demanding that your partner be some way before you are okay, that really gets old after awhile; it brings down a great many relationships (of course, that doesn't include destructive behavior).

 

[peejake]

Ok I'll admit it, I am 24 and have never had a boyfriend.

honestrosewater,

Read again what LeBrad said carefully and then tell me what sounds wrong ...I am not saying anything bad about his looks...

 

[arildno]

What is wrong is that LeBrad isn't gay.

 

[honestrosewater]

honestrosewater,

Read again what LeBrad said carefully and then tell me what sounds wrong ...I am not saying anything bad about his looks...

Yes, I understand. I was saying something bad about his looks.

 

[LeBrad]

Yes, I understand. I was saying something bad about his looks.

I'll have you know that I am saving myself for http://newyork.mets.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/team/player.jsp?player_id=431151" .

 

[honestrosewater]

I'll have you know that I am saving myself for http://newyork.mets.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/team/player.jsp?player_id=431151" .

What a coincidence -- so am I. Hey, you do look kinda like him, just much less attractive.

 

[Lisa!]

In general, unattractive persons tend to lose confidence in themselves.
Sad, but true.

If you mean ugly people, I have to say that's not true at all!

 

[jimmydelgado777]

I'll have you know that I am saving myself for http://newyork.mets.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/team/player.jsp?player_id=431151" .

What, and not Pedro Martinez? he has a devastating circle changeup, a sharp breaking curveball and a career 2+ ERA with 2000+ strikeouts.

 

[Bladibla]

Relationships are for puny little mortals.

Just kidding. I've had a few crushes on other girls, but I've never had the guts or time to tell them. I've had 2 real big ones, one before left for
Alaska, while the one now, well, I'll just hang around.

I acknowledge a crush is a crush. Nothing much. Thats probably the reason why I am not telling. Better to keep yourself too busy with work.

 

[Kazza_765]

Don't try to find a girlfriend, just start making friends. You need to feel comfortable talking to people, girls or guys. Spark up a conversation with the guy sitting next to you on the train, or ask the girl behind the counter at the supermarket how her day was.

The more people you meet, the better the chance that you will find someone you like, and that likes you as well. I never met any of my ex-girlfriends because I was looking for someone to like. Just practice talking to people you don't know, and getting to know them, the rest will happen in good time.

 

[peejake]

I'll have you know that I am saving myself for http://newyork.mets.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/team/player.jsp?player_id=431151" .

i told you guys...But u didnt listen....

 

[Tyris]

There was one I liked enough to consider. It turned out I wasn't her type... being male.

 

[quantumdude]

I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 18 and freshly graduated from high school. Fortunately we didn't have internet message boards back then, which saved me the indignity of trumpeting to the whole world what a dork I was.

*pauses as sickening irony sets in*

Oh buggers, I just let the cat out of the bag didn't I?

 

[rocketboy]

There was one I liked enough to consider. It turned out I wasn't her type... being male.

should have gone after her anyway... could have gotten pretty interesting!

 

[peejake]

Fortunately we didn't have internet message boards back then, which saved me the indignity of trumpeting to the whole world what a dork I was.

For the sake of not having a gf right now i wish there were nothin as email and txting...Because i feel that these two things made me get sooo attatched to them that i find it hard to actually ask a girl out in real life...

Txting Email/Msn

Jake:!) :!) :!)

 

[peejake]

Anyway I am glad that this topic has started up again... Keep it going people

 

[Moonbear]

I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 18 and freshly graduated from high school. Fortunately we didn't have internet message boards back then, which saved me the indignity of trumpeting to the whole world what a dork I was.

*pauses as sickening irony sets in*

Oh buggers, I just let the cat out of the bag didn't I?

That's okay, it's ancient history now.

 

[blindconsole]

I'm 20, and have never had a girlfriend. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that I haven't even had any friends since I started college two years ago. At college, I've never even been in anyone else's residence for social reasons (i.e., no parties, no hanging out, etc.). I'm really very sad, though from what others have told me, I appear quite happy. Is there anyone else that's been in my situation? How did you get out of it?

 

[Physics is Phun]

I've never had a girlfriend...up until a week ago
she's so perfect. and to top it off, smoking hot too. Having a gf rocks! and we haven't even done anything too, how you say, physical...yet

edit: I'm 19, so i think I'm definitely behind the times. I didn't even kiss a girl (her^) until a month ago

 

[arildno]

Hopefully, you'll still think physics is fun.

I know, it was rather bad.

 

[Physics is Phun]

oh yes,
nothing like a good practical demonstration of conductive heat transfer

 

[Pyrrhus]

I'm 20, and have never had a girlfriend. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that I haven't even had any friends since I started college two years ago. At college, I've never even been in anyone else's residence for social reasons (i.e., no parties, no hanging out, etc.). I'm really very sad, though from what others have told me, I appear quite happy. Is there anyone else that's been in my situation? How did you get out of it?

Hello, I used to be like you until one day i said to myself, enough is enough. I started practicing more sports (for socializing) and going to the parties/get togethers i was invited to, all worked from there.

 

[JasonRox]

Hello, I used to be like you until one day i said to myself, enough is enough. I started practicing more sports (for socializing) and going to the parties/get togethers i was invited to, all worked from there.

Same here and I took your approach too.

I left all my friends from high school. They all got into drugs and things, so I had to go. I went from having too many friends to virtually none in a matter of months.