How many of you have not had a bf or gf?

  • Thread starter Thread starter peejake
  • Start date Start date
Click For Summary
The discussion revolves around the challenges of finding romantic partners among young individuals, particularly those aged 16 and older. An 18-year-old participant expresses feelings of being single and seeks to connect with others in similar situations. Many contributors share their experiences of struggling with self-confidence and the difficulties of approaching potential partners. There's a recurring theme that societal pressures and stereotypes about attractiveness can hinder genuine connections. Participants discuss the importance of self-acceptance and the idea that confidence can significantly impact first impressions. Some express skepticism about the need for a girlfriend or boyfriend, suggesting that relationships should stem from genuine feelings rather than societal expectations. The conversation also touches on the complexities of love and dating, emphasizing the need for personal growth and comfort in one's own skin before pursuing romantic relationships. Overall, the thread highlights the emotional struggles and societal influences affecting young people's dating lives.
  • #31
Pengwuino said:
I know cyrus has had a few boyfriends in the past, maybe you can talk to cyrus about our problems.

Nah, he is ambiguous.
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #32
wolram said:
Der, 18 to 80 if one can still select drive.

Wol, please talk in simple language to me, my mind can't handle any professional responses. I don't quite understand this, sorry. :
 
  • #33
heartless said:
Why do you need a girl friend?

why do u think people fall in love get married and start a family...Dont they just want that someone special in their life...Don't they just want to find love; fall in love with someone no matter how hard it is...
 
  • #34
Hurkyl said:
I don't understand the fascination with getting a girlfriend.

It's one thing to meet a nice girl and want her to be your girlfriend...

But to simply want a girlfriend??

Oh common...where has all the fire gone...

:!) :!) :!) :!) :!) :!) :!) :!) :!)
 
  • #35
peejake said:
why do u think people fall in love get married and start a family...Dont they just want that someone special in their life...Don't they just want to find love; fall in love with someone no matter how hard it is...

No. Part of the people do it, because the other part of the people are already doing it or have done it. They heavily want to find their love, because their friends already found a girlfriend or even a wife. Love in today's world is rather driven by a stereotype. Effect of this are all the divorces we have. Most of the people want girlfriends because that's the custom to have one, and have a desire for sex though sex isn't something bad, it gives pleasure. That's what people are looking for, pleasure. Of course this kind of pleasure is just an illusion which sooner or later passes away in most of the people. Your girlfriend would please you for couple of months, or years and then begin to bore you as her being aside you wouldn't give anymore pleasure. If you want to find someone do it, by being yourself and don't follow your friends. Talk with girls that you like, and that should do it.
If you want to find someone special in yourlife, open your eyes and find yourself.
//
also, you want to find your love or rather you demand somebody to fall in love with you. You demand somebody to love you. Why start with somebody else? Start with yourself. Is there a girl you can say, you love? If yes, go for her :)
 
Last edited:
  • #36
Dont they just want that someone special in their life.
Sure. If I find someone special, it would be nice to have her in my life.

But pretending that someone is special doesn't work. :-p
 
  • #37
Although I don't have this problem (Quite the opposite, sadly. I'm a girl, too, that makes things different), but many of my friends have never had dates. I know a boy who's 20 or 21 and has never had a date, and one of my very close friends is 18 and has never had a girlfriend (I don't get it, really, he's a great guy).

At this age, a lot of guys are unsure of themselves and feel that they have to look like a 'jock' for girls to be interested in them. Confidence is very flattering on a man...
 
  • #38
Never had one.
 
  • #39
Whats with everyone perpetuating the stereotypical nerd on a computer forum?
 
  • #40
hi

10 characters
 
  • #41
heartless said:
and have a desire for sex though sex isn't something bad, it gives pleasure. That's what people are looking for, pleasure. Of course this kind of pleasure is just an illusion which sooner or later passes away in most of the people. Your girlfriend would please you for couple of months, or years and then begin to bore you as her being aside you wouldn't give anymore pleasure. If you want to find someone do it, by being yourself and don't follow your friends. Talk with girls that you like, and that should do it.


I am not only talking about pleasure here at all...im talking about getting into the habit of dating women. Leave alone the pleasure and rest of it, the very fact the i could get a chance to talk to a girl is a hard thing to do. Talking to girls that i like can be a hard thing to do, for any boy as a matter of fact...Well i feel that way don't know about you guys.

I also don't allow my friends at all to get in my way, neither do i copy them...This is all upto me and these are my own desicions I am making...:!) :!) :!) :!) :!) :!) :!) :!) :!)
 
  • #42
Pengwuino said:
Whats with everyone perpetuating the stereotypical nerd on a computer forum?


Why you, of course.
 
  • #43
SimplySolitary_ said:
I know a boy who's 20 or 21 and has never had a date, and one of my very close friends is 18 and has never had a girlfriend (I don't get it, really, he's a great guy).

At this age, a lot of guys are unsure of themselves and feel that they have to look like a 'jock' for girls to be interested in them. Confidence is very flattering on a man...

True True very true!

I know for a fact that this is true and i have seen it happening in many peoples lives...that many of the good guys are the ones that are not able to get themselves a date...i think its just our level on confidence as you say...i must admit that my level of confidence in appraoching a girl is close to ZERO! :confused:

:!) :!) :!) :!)

-jake
 
  • #44
Kinda like catch-22 for me. I feel like I lack adequate experience to approach girls that I'm attracted to, but at the same time, don't really feel like it's worth my time to gain any experience with girls to whom I'm not attracted to. (I can't believe I'm talking about this on an internet forum)
 
  • #45
Hurkyl said:
I don't understand the fascination with getting a girlfriend.
Neither do I.
 
  • #46
SimplySolitary_ said:
At this age, a lot of guys are unsure of themselves and feel that they have to look like a 'jock' for girls to be interested in them. Confidence is very flattering on a man...
Can someone explain this? Does confidence really matter, or do you just want a guy who has other real qualities, those qualities that justify his confidence? If it's the latter, then is it really the confidence that's attractive, or is it instead all the good qualities he has that justify his confidence? If it's the former, then what about this:

Suppose you meet a guy who respects you, who is funny, interesting, intelligent, attractive, etc. but lacks confidence, would you pass him up? On the other hand, what if you met a guy who was confident, but was unnattractive, or stupid, or rude, etc? Would confidence make up for one of those things?
 
  • #47
In general, unattractive persons tend to lose confidence in themselves.
Sad, but true.
 
  • #48
peejake said:
I wanted to know in general how many of you guys and gals out there have wanted to but not managed to get yourselves a girlfriend or boyfriend at all... I am talking of people aged from 16 onwards...Jake

Is that before or after getting married? o:)
 
  • #49
I am 20 and have never had a date or a girlfriend, is that unusual?

Not to say I have never met a girl I would want to get to know better, but I want to get my own life sorted out before I get another person involved in it. Even then, I would not go actively searching for someone. Love seems to happen on its own, we cannot control that emotion, only influence it.
 
  • #50
Ok I'll admit it, I am 24 and have never had a boyfriend.
 
  • #51
The Evo Child's new boyfriend is drop dead gorgeous (I Think), but he is incredibly shy. He also a real sweetie, the other day I was at her apartment and he served me pizza he'd just made. :smile:

He's had a crush on her for two years and was too afraid to talk to her. He thought she was so incredible that she'd never consider him. At one point, he applied for a job at a place she worked so he could get to know her, what he didn't know was that she had just quit, he was crushed.

I've got to ask her how he finally approached her.
 
  • #52
LeBrad said:
Ok I'll admit it, I am 24 and have never had a boyfriend.

You loser.
 
  • #53
Les Sleeth said:
Is that before or after getting married? o:)

Well i could not be possibly married at 18 without meeting a girl that i fell in love with...:smile:
 
  • #54
I could tell you how to find a girl...its very easy :rolleyes:

But if I did...you'd seek me out...Hunt me down...and kill me...

...:eek:
 
Last edited:
  • #55
AKG said:
Can someone explain this? Does confidence really matter, or do you just want a guy who has other real qualities, those qualities that justify his confidence? If it's the latter, then is it really the confidence that's attractive, or is it instead all the good qualities he has that justify his confidence? If it's the former, then what about this:

Suppose you meet a guy who respects you, who is funny, interesting, intelligent, attractive, etc. but lacks confidence, would you pass him up? On the other hand, what if you met a guy who was confident, but was unnattractive, or stupid, or rude, etc? Would confidence make up for one of those things?

In confidence, I simply meant a first impression! I wouldn't (But have, come to think of it) date a man who had confidence but was a jerk. I mean when a person is talking, have confidence in themselves to carry out a conversation, be confident in your walking, the way you hold yourself, ect ect. It gives a beautiful first impression.

Example; I went to a small bookstore in the mall today. After looking around a bit, I went to the man who worked at the counter and asked him to show me the science section (I had such a hard time finding the dang thing...). He wasn't extremely attractive, and had the quote "nerd" look to him, but he was confident in the way he explained how he was trying to expand the section, and in telling me what was there, and such, and by the time he left me there I wished he hadn't. :smile:

Confidence makes a beautiful first impression.
 
  • #56
I've never had a boyfriend either...!

Of the girls I've been with, the ones I've loved and the ones who have lasted have been the ones I've got together with whilst I've not been actively looking for someone.

If you start actively trying to find someone, some weird thing happens and you send out 'desperate' vibes which make ladies run a mile. The ones you meet when you're really trying to find someone are the one nighters, and the ones you keep seeing anyway even though you know they're not right for you!

I don't know why but I think the advice about being comfortable with yourself first is really good; after all, why would you want to be with someone who doesn't like who you really are?
 
  • #57
peejake said:
Well i could not be possibly married at 18 without meeting a girl that i fell in love with...:smile:

Being the current philosophy guru :cool: I must point out that you certainly could be married without meeting a girl you fell in love with. You might be an illegal alien hoping to stay in the US, you might have mistaken hornyness for love, you might have gotten so drunk in Las Vegas you thought you were in love, someone might have spiked your drink with Ecstasy . . . and so it goes with what people think is love :!)
 
  • #58
Les Sleeth said:
Being the current philosophy guru :cool: I must point out that you certainly could be married without meeting a girl you fell in love with. You might be an illegal alien hoping to stay in the US, you might have mistaken hornyness for love, you might have gotten so drunk in Las Vegas you thought you were in love, someone might have spiked your drink with Ecstasy . . . and so it goes with what people think is love :!)

well putting that all aside les sleeth...i don't drink for one thing...just hate it don't know why...What is so great about drinking anyway? The stuff tastes like crap, even if it is the costliest wine or alcohol ever or even the cheapest...Alcohol is responsible for the worst of the worst deaths..."Drinking and Driving" so why take it at all...Take it so that you would feel in the company of others at a party...get ure drink spiked and end up in more trouble...Certainly not...:mad:
 
  • #59
peejake said:
well putting that all aside les sleeth...i don't drink for one thing...just hate it don't know why...What is so great about drinking anyway? The stuff tastes like crap, even if it is the costliest wine or alcohol ever or even the cheapest...Alcohol is responsible for the worst of the worst deaths..."Drinking and Driving" so why take it at all...Take it so that you would feel in the company of others at a party...get ure drink spiked and end up in more trouble...Certainly not...:mad:

Just hypothetical situations, I'm sure.

And drinking comes from many things, feeling the need to be accepted, to forget the past, to hope the future will never come, ect. And actually, there's this watermellon drink, I believe it's Bacardi, and it tastes quite good, as far as alcoholic beverages go. And some sort of strong liquor that tastes like black liquorish, amazingly good. Funny, I don't even drink.
 
  • #60
LeBrad said:
Ok I'll admit it, I am 24 and have never had a boyfriend.

Excuse me! that does not sound and look quite right :smile:
 

Similar threads

Having trouble finding a girlfriend
  • · Replies 17 ·
Replies
17
Views
4K
Seeking psychological help: Tricks to deal with being really envious?
  • · Replies 1 ·
Replies
1
Views
2K
Need a mediator: who's right, the gf or me?
  • · Replies 52 ·
2
Replies
52
Views
9K
How many of you ride Motorcycles/Scooters?
  • · Replies 25 ·
Replies
25
Views
4K
Navigating the Stress of a PhD: How Did You Cope?
  • · Replies 8 ·
Replies
8
Views
2K
Quantum mechanics, many worlds, and its implications -- I have questions
  • · Replies 47 ·
2
Replies
47
Views
3K
Should I Pursue a Girl Who Already Has a Boyfriend?
  • · Replies 17 ·
Replies
17
Views
5K
'How Does Your Garden Grow' thread - raised beds
  • · Replies 36 ·
2
Replies
36
Views
2K
Why Is This Girl Sending Mixed Signals?
  • · Replies 52 ·
2
Replies
52
Views
13K
Having extremely hard time letting go (serious viewers only)
  • · Replies 14 ·
Replies
14
Views
3K