How to deal with annoying co-workers in a friendly manner

[CFDFEAGURU]

Hello all,

I need some help with this.

I work for a very annoying and extremely long winded (talks alot) individual who goes to great lengths to have people (all people) think he is the most inteligent person on the planet.

The individual has convinced himself that he is all knowing by continually watching/listening to lectures from the Teaching Company. He buys lectures on every subject they have and then at any chance he gets, he regurgitates what he has memorized on the unsuspecting victim. For example, you could be drinking a coffee from Starbucks and mention it is called the Komodo Dragon brew and you will be cornered for the next 20 minutes listening to him regurgitate what he memorized on the actual Komodo Dragon. Another example, you could mention that you bought a book from India on Amazon and you will be told the memorized version he has of the history of the Indian government.

This person is completely oblivious to the fact that no cares and no one is the least bit interested in hearing all of this additional information. To make matters worse this individual is not married and has no children to unload this stuff on at home or the loving wife to tell him to shut up and get to the point. (Like I do. LOL)

Sometimes this person simply makes up stuff just to sound inteligent. An example of that is; My hobby is General Relativity and this individual knows that so he gave me a lecture on the Einstein Field Equation and had everything incorrect so the next day I wrote the equation down and he didn't even know what it was. Another time, he was giving me a lecture on Quantum Mechanics and I asked him if he knew who David Hilbert was and he never heard of him.

All of these examples, and thousands more I won't bore you with, have made this individual become completely ignored by all of us in my office. We dread having to speak to him.

Lastely, when I ask this person a simple question that requires a two word answer, I end up listening to him ramble for about 1/2 an hour about stuff that has nothing to do with what I asked and usually he gets himself so confused that about half way through I have to aske the original question again and sometimes I just give up and leave (poliltely) without having my simple question answered.

I have been dealing with this for about 2 1/2 years and I just can't take it any longer.

Can anyone help me out or suggest how I can politely tell that person to shut up and get to the point?

Thanks
Matt

 

[FredGarvin]

I have almost the same problem except the one I have to deal with is very intelligent and in most cases really knows his stuff. He just can not stay on track, keep to his own business and shut up. We have a joke that says "ask him what time it is and he'll tell you how to build a clock." So I feel your pain.

Quite frankly I still have to endure it, but I have done a couple of things that have helped.

1) I made sure that this person understands that my time is just as important, and sometimes more important, than his and to get to the damned point (however you want to say that part is up to you).

2) I avoid him until I absolutely have to talk to him. When he starts going off in left field about something he has nothing to do with, I constantly interrupt him and remind him the point we were talking to.

In the end, I think I can get away from him in 15 minutes instead of 30.

Good Luck. If you find a better way, let me know too!

 

[leroyjenkens]

I wouldn't mind having some people around who actually know what they're talking about.
My problem is I'm always hearing people talk about stuff that they're either making up, or they misinterpreted from some show they watched. I usually don't have the heart to flat out tell someone they're wrong, so I let it go.
I had a girl try to tell me babies could breathe under water in the womb. That was something I couldn't let go. I didn't just say "you're wrong" and explain how much of an idiot she is for believing that. I kinda guided her into understanding on her own how ridiculous that statement was.
It was hard, because even after I asked questions like "How do they lose the ability to breathe under water after they're born?", she would give me an answer like "I don't know, but they do it."

 

[rootX]

Lastely, when I ask this person a simple question that requires a two word answer, I end up listening to him ramble for about 1/2 an hour about stuff that has nothing to do with what I asked and usually he gets himself so confused that about half way through I have to aske the original question again and sometimes I just give up and leave (poliltely) without having my simple question answered.

When I go for help to people like that:
1) I ask my question
2) If he is not answering it directly, I ask the question again in different words or re-mention the main subject I want to discuss until I bring him on the track
3) As soon he answers, I summarize what he answered, thank him for his help and leave

 

[Cyrus]

http://www.sreejith.net/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/angry-guy.jpg

 

[Moonbear]

I have almost the same problem except the one I have to deal with is very intelligent and in most cases really knows his stuff. He just can not stay on track, keep to his own business and shut up. We have a joke that says "ask him what time it is and he'll tell you how to build a clock." So I feel your pain.

Argh! I work with one of those too. A 2 min question turns into a half hour conversation. My solution is to take one of two approaches. Either I ask the question just before I need to leave for another meeting, and when the discussion gets side-tracked, I just look at my watch and tell him I have another meeting to get to so can't stay and talk. Or, I save my questions for when he comes to my office for something, so once the question is answered and he hangs around continuing to talk, I can just keep getting work done (he never gets the hint that I'm busy with something to cut the conversation short and leave, but he also doesn't seem to get offended if I keep working while he's talking).

 

[CFDFEAGURU]

Fred,

2) I avoid him until I absolutely have to talk to him. When he starts going off in left field about something he has nothing to do with, I constantly interrupt him and remind him the point we were talking to.

I usually do the first sentence in the quote above. I have just recently started the interruption phase.

1) I made sure that this person understands that my time is just as important, and sometimes more important, than his and to get to the damned point (however you want to say that part is up to you).

This I have to start doing immediately. Side Story on this one. Once, I had to get a General Arrangement drawing out of the office by 4 PM and he had to review it. I gave it to him to review, he forgot about it, and at 3 PM I went to see if he was done making comments on it. He just started reviewing it when I walked in and was complaining that the drawing contained some incorrect dimensions. Somehow from that he ended up talking about slide rules and I (mistakenly) said "yeah, I need to learn how to use on of those one day" immediatly, he had his out of desk and was destined to show me how to use it. Now the whole time he knew this drawing had to go out and still couldn't stay focused on the simple task of reviewing the drawing.

That was the first time that I had to be rude to him and I felt bad about it, so I haven't done that since.

rootx,

3) As soon he answers, I summarize what he answered, thank him for his help and leave

I do this every time. (If I get an answer) to make sure I understand it.

In order to give him some credit, he is an intelligent person in certain areas. Such as, the ASME (American Society of Mechanical Engineers) Presure Vessel Code, Power Piping, and boiler design.

Thanks for your advice.

Matt

EDIT:

Moonbear,

...but he also doesn't seem to get offended if I keep working while he's talking.

We have another annoying idividual we call the "light" version of the one I wrote this post about. He gets highly offended when you keep working. Last time I did that he didn't speak to me for a week or more.

End EDIT:

 

[Redbelly98]

Something that worked at a job I had 10-12 years ago required cooperation among my other coworkers. When you see somebody else trapped in a conversation with this person, just interrupt them ... the interruption alone was often enough to break things up. If not, then the interrupter can make up an excuse, for example: "Excuse me, Jim, could you give me a hand with something in the lab?"

Or, if the gabber has trapped somebody in their own office, call that person on the phone. The gabber will not know who is on the phone, and will leave the room to let the person take his "very important phone call."

The person who was a problem at my workplace seemed unable to know when was the appropriate time to wrap up a conversation. For whatever reason, these little interruptions provided the necessary stimulus to make that happen.

 

[CFDFEAGURU]

Or, if the gabber has trapped somebody in their own office, call that person on the phone. The gabber will not know who is on the phone, and will leave the room to let the person take his "very important phone call."

Yeah, we tried that but this guy is so far out in space cadet camp that he just stands there the whole time. Sometimes he keeps talking while your on the phone.

We have been trying sports questions to rescue each other with now that football and hockey are underway. The other day the guy didn't even know who Sidney Crosby was. (Now that offended me. LOL)

Thanks
Matt

 

[tyroman]

leroyjenkens,

I wouldn't mind having some people around who actually know what they're talking about.
My problem is I'm always hearing people talk about stuff that they're either making up, or they misinterpreted from some show they watched. I usually don't have the heart to flat out tell someone they're wrong, so I let it go.
I had a girl try to tell me babies could breathe under water in the womb. That was something I couldn't let go. I didn't just say "you're wrong" and explain how much of an idiot she is for believing that. I kinda guided her into understanding on her own how ridiculous that statement was.
It was hard, because even after I asked questions like "How do they lose the ability to breathe under water after they're born?", she would give me an answer like "I don't know, but they do it."

Google "Amniotic fluid"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amniotic_fluid
"Amniotic fluid is continually being swallowed and "inhaled" and replaced through being "exhaled", as well as being urinated by the baby. It is essential that the amniotic fluid be breathed into the lungs by the fetus in order for the lungs to develop normally."

You might want to find her and apologise?

 

[Moonbear]

Yeah, we tried that but this guy is so far out in space cadet camp that he just stands there the whole time. Sometimes he keeps talking while your on the phone.

That's when you say, "I'm sorry, I really need to take this call in private. Can you close the door on the way out? Thanks."

 

[Moonbear]

leroyjenkens,




Google "Amniotic fluid"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amniotic_fluid
"Amniotic fluid is continually being swallowed and "inhaled" and replaced through being "exhaled", as well as being urinated by the baby. It is essential that the amniotic fluid be breathed into the lungs by the fetus in order for the lungs to develop normally."

You might want to find her and apologise?

Um, no. They aren't breathing through amniotic fluid, because their lungs are functional yet. They get all their oxygenation from the mother's circulation.

 

[turbo]

I had to work with a real blowhard for years and couldn't get rid of him. He was the owner of the company, and he had some misguided impression that if he interfered with your work and wasted your time, you were getting valuable advice and "training". He was quite pompous and would never use a common word when he could use a longer (and often less-appropriate one). Absolute hell ensued when you were tag-teamed by that jerk and the GM, whom I shall fondly refer to as Bub Buzzword. There was not a training video he had not seen or a management book that he had not read, and he would derail potentially valuable conversations by constantly making reference to world-class, outside-the-box, incentivizing, ownership, self-motivating, crap. It was really sick, and the owner somehow thought that we people who managed the departments and made millions for him should have to listen to that pin-headed martinet. (Think of Dilbert's pointy-haired boss as a mild and funnier example of this perversion.) It was funny to watch deadlines loom thanks to their obstructionism, then Mr. Work Smarter, not Harder became Mr. You're Not Pulling Your Weight because you wanted to have an hour or two with your spouse in the evening, and perhaps part of a weekend.

 

[Virtuous]

If he/she is not the boss, why do you have tip-toe around it all the time? Why not just say "Sorry, but you get into conversations all the time which have no real point. I don't mind talking with you but you have to drop the lectures or I am just going to leave". It's not rude at all. Think of it as if you were that person or a person EVERYONE is trying to be too polite and not tell you that something you do irritates a whole group of people. Would you like to be oblivious towards it?

Sounds like some of you have been dealing with for so long. What loss would it be to you if he doesn't talk to you because you offended him/her? People will get over it, if they don't; that's not your problem. As an adult we should of developed a pretty decent layer of thick skin not to take everything so hurtfully.

 

[Pythagorean]

you answered your own question!

Q) How to deal with annoying co-workers?
A) In a friendly manner.

Only, I'd change friendly to polite. Being too nice or too mean will just deepen your relationship with them.

 

[tyroman]

Um, no. They aren't breathing through amniotic fluid, because their lungs are functional yet. They get all their oxygenation from the mother's circulation.

Moonbear,

Seems you had a different opinion some years ago;

https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=35588&highlight=amniotic

Jul18-04, 07:14 PM #5
Moonbear
"Makes sense that Monique would know this...surrounded by water the way she is! Though, that leaves the question of how or why that reflex developed. Fetuses don't "hold their breath" in the womb, they breathe in amniotic fluid all the time."

The Wiki link says a lot about the issue... nowhere does it imply that the fluid contains oxygen or that the fetus absorbs oxygen from the fluid. As I understand it, blood gases (oxygen & carbon dioxide) are exchanged between mother and fetus across the placental membrane. However, the fetal "breathing" of the fluid appears to be necessary for proper lung development

 

[leroyjenkens]

leroyjenkens,




Google "Amniotic fluid"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amniotic_fluid
"Amniotic fluid is continually being swallowed and "inhaled" and replaced through being "exhaled", as well as being urinated by the baby. It is essential that the amniotic fluid be breathed into the lungs by the fetus in order for the lungs to develop normally."

You might want to find her and apologise?

Apologize for what? Inhaling liquid into your lungs isn't breathing. Breathing is respiring, and respiration doesn't take place just because something goes into your lungs.

 

[tyroman]

leroyjenkens,

Your argument is not with me... take it up with all the MD's who believe that a fetus breathes amniotic fluid.

 

[Moonbear]

leroyjenkens,

Your argument is not with me... take it up with all the MD's who believe that a fetus breathes amniotic fluid.

No, you're the one who seems to believe that based on a complete misunderstanding of a wikipedia article. I already explained to you what is wrong with your statement.

 

[lisab]

Yeah, we tried that but this guy is so far out in space cadet camp that he just stands there the whole time. Sometimes he keeps talking while your on the phone.

Wow, if the phone trick doesn't work, you work with a guy who has absolutely no idea how he comes off to others. Of course you already knew that, haha. It's likely he's lonely, too, so his coworkers may be his only social contacts.

I think you have three options, none of them very good.

• You can do nothing.
  
• You can speak with his direct supervisor, or perhaps the HR person, or both. Let them know he's affecting your productivity. You might even bring some coworkers with you...that would make it clear this is the company's problem, not just an interpersonal problem between you and him.
  
• You can speak with him directly, keeping it friendly as possible. It might go something like, "I've been having trouble with my productivity lately, so I have to cut back on socializing during work hours. Please don't take it personally, I just need to focus more on my work."

I just thought of one more thing...try to set him up with a date .

 

[turbo]

Come on, folks. Amniotic fluid is essential for the development of the baby, but the development of the baby is entirely dependent on the oxygenation of its blood stream by its mother. Please spend a bit of time learning about the basics before dashing off crap posts.

 

[tyroman]

Come on, folks. Amniotic fluid is essential for the development of the baby, but the development of the baby is entirely dependent on the oxygenation of its blood stream by its mother. Please spend a bit of time learning about the basics before dashing off crap posts.

Just curious... which post(s) do you consider to be cxxp?

 

[lisab]

Come on, folks. Amniotic fluid is essential for the development of the baby, but the development of the baby is entirely dependent on the oxygenation of its blood stream by its mother. Please spend a bit of time learning about the basics before dashing off crap posts.

I think the root misunderstanding is the difference between the words "inhale" and "breathe".

A fetus is oxygenated through the placenta. But it does inhale amniotic fluid. According to my midwife, it does this to strengthen the muscles needed to breathe...which it doesn't do until it's born.

 

[Evo]

Off topic, but intertesting.

Before birth, a fetus' lungs are filled with fluid. While inside the mother, a fetus does not use the lungs to breathe — all oxygen comes from the blood vessels of the placenta.

As the due date nears, the baby's lungs begin to clear the fluid in response to hormonal changes. Some fluid may also be squeezed out during the birth, as a baby passes through the birth canal. After the birth, as a newborn takes those first breaths, the lungs fill with air and more fluid is pushed out of the lungs. Any remaining fluid is then coughed out or gradually absorbed into the body through the bloodstream and lymphatic system.

http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/lungs/ttn.html

By the beginning of the second trimester there are 50 cc of fluid in the amniotic sac, and this fluid isn't much different from the baby's plasma, indicating an origin from secretions through the umbilical cord, membrane coverings of the placenta, and even the baby's skin. By the 36th week there is usually around a liter of amniotic fluid, but by this time it is made up for the most part from fetal urine. The turnover of fluid is fairly rapid, with a build up from urine and a reabsorption from fetal swallowing being important dynamics in the amniotic fluid picture from hour to hour. Since the baby's kidneys mature over the gestation, the amniotic fluid is more fetal urine-like later than it is when the kidneys are less mature.

Also included in the amniotic fluid are the old skin cells of the baby which have nowhere to go but into this bath.(In the outside world we shed skin cells all day long; they fly off into the air and that's that.) Chemicals from the lungs (often detectable as signs of lung maturity) are present later in pregnancy. Also, sodium, potassium, and other electrolytes are present as part of the exchange between those two dynamic entities, mother and child.

The amniotic fluid is crucial to lung development. When there's little fluid, like in congenital abnormality of the bladder or missing kidneys, the trachea and other respiratory structures don't mature, indicating that the pressure and nature of the fluid bathing these structures is important in their growth. This is a significant risk of premature rupture of membranes. We've made great strides in preventing preterm labor and infection with premature rupture of membranes in the second trimester, only to have lung immaturity haunt us later.

continued...

http://www.gynob.com/amniotic.htm

 

[Pythagorean]

semantics are so fun to argue!

 

[BobG]

This I have to start doing immediately. Side Story on this one. Once, I had to get a General Arrangement drawing out of the office by 4 PM and he had to review it. I gave it to him to review, he forgot about it, and at 3 PM I went to see if he was done making comments on it. He just started reviewing it when I walked in and was complaining that the drawing contained some incorrect dimensions. Somehow from that he ended up talking about slide rules and I (mistakenly) said "yeah, I need to learn how to use on of those one day" immediatly, he had his out of desk and was destined to show me how to use it. Now the whole time he knew this drawing had to go out and still couldn't stay focused on the simple task of reviewing the drawing.

That was the first time that I had to be rude to him and I felt bad about it, so I haven't done that since.

You're an idiot and the only general arrangement drawing management would trust with you was too trivial to matter whether it was actually accomplished on time.

And, yet, you were so self-absorbed that you failed to recognize an opportunity far more significant than whether your trivial drawing was accomplished on time or not. When it comes to learning slide rules, there's no time like the present.

Instead of being rude, you should have thanked him, you moron!

Anyway, what kind of slide rule did he show you? Do you remember the model number? Or at least whether it was duplex or simplex? Circular, cylindrical, or straight? (the cylindrical slide rules are very popular with the ladies - they always ask about it when you carry it around in your pocket). Was it 6", 10", or the 2 ft long?

And, yes, it's important to remember to subtract a power of ten when your answer wraps around from the left side to the right side and to add a power of ten when you wrap around from the right side to the left side. I can understand how a mistake like that could have resulted in incorrect dimensions on your drawing. It's an easy mistake and something you shouldn't be embarrassed about. It takes some practice to really become proficient at using a slide rule and I'm sure he'll be able to provide some invaluable hints.

I think the root misunderstanding is the difference between the words "inhale" and "breathe".

A fetus is oxygenated through the placenta. But it does inhale amniotic fluid. According to my midwife, it does this to strengthen the muscles needed to breathe...which it doesn't do until it's born.

My N4-ES has 2 scales for square roots and 3 scales for cube roots, so roots normally aren't misunderstood.

 

[lisab]

You're an idiot and the only general arrangement drawing management would trust with you was too trivial to matter whether it was actually accomplished on time.

And, yet, you were so self-absorbed that you failed to recognize an opportunity far more significant than whether your trivial drawing was accomplished on time or not. When it comes to learning slide rules, there's no time like the present.

Instead of being rude, you should have thanked him, you moron!

Anyway, what kind of slide rule did he show you? Do you remember the model number? Or at least whether it was duplex or simplex? Circular, cylindrical, or straight? (the cylindrical slide rules are very popular with the ladies - they always ask about it when you carry it around in your pocket). Was it 6", 10", or the 2 ft long?

And, yes, it's important to remember to subtract a power of ten when your answer wraps around from the left side to the right side and to add a power of ten when you wrap around from the right side to the left side. I can understand how a mistake like that could have resulted in incorrect dimensions on your drawing. It's an easy mistake and something you shouldn't be embarrassed about. It takes some practice to really become proficient at using a slide rule and I'm sure he'll be able to provide some invaluable hints.




My N4-ES has 2 scales for square roots and 3 scales for cube roots, so roots normally aren't misunderstood.

Thanks, Sliderule Bob !

 

[DaveC426913]

"You're an idiot .."

"...you moron!"

This is shameful behaviour from a PF representative.

 

[seycyrus]

This is shameful behaviour from a PF representative.

Uh, it was a joke.

 

[DaveC426913]

Uh, it was a joke.

So it is. Complaint retracted.


Let's just hope I'm the ONLY reader that misinterprets it...

 

[CFDFEAGURU]

You're an idiot and the only general arrangement drawing management would trust with you was too trivial to matter whether it was actually accomplished on time.

Uhhh ... What kind of response is that?

Instead of being rude, you should have thanked him, you moron!

Thanked him for what? Wasting my time on a lecture on how to use an obselete tool.

Maybe you two are brothers.

Thanks
Matt

 

[seycyrus]

So it is. Complaint retracted.


Let's just hope I'm the ONLY reader that misinterprets it...

Why should anyone care about how something is misinterpreted? Because of potential lost revenue?

 

[DaveC426913]

Uhhh ... What kind of response is that?




Thanked him for what? Wasting my time on a lecture on how to use an obselete tool.

Maybe you two are brothers.

Thanks
Matt

I get it. BobG is being sarcastic. He's mocking your prof, not you.

 

[seycyrus]

Uhhh ... What kind of response is that?

A sarcastic one...

Note his avatar.

Note how he proceeds to "lecture" you in a manner that is exactly reminiscent of your complaint about your co-worker.

 

[CFDFEAGURU]

Aww I get it.

Thanks
Matt

 

[DaveC426913]

Why should anyone care about how something is misinterpreted? Because of potential lost revenue?

PF has ethics to uphold and an image to uphold. That includes real issues as well as perceived issues.

Not everyone is a long-term member, and not everyone lands on this page having had the opportunity to follow the thread closely enough to see that it was meant in jest (there is nothing in the comment itself that suggests it is in jest. The only indicator at all is blind faith that BobG would NOT have said something so callous).

It's just the risk of bad PR that PF will wish to avoid.

 

[seycyrus]

PF has ethics to uphold and an image to uphold. That includes real issues as well as perceived issues.

Not everyone is a long-term member, and not everyone lands on this page having had the opportunity to follow the thread closely enough to see that it was meant in jest (there is nothing in the comment itself that suggests it is in jest. The only indicator at all is blind faith that BobG would NOT have said something so callous).

It's just the risk of bad PR that PF will wish to avoid.

Eh, there's plenty of banter going around, not to mention the continuous breaking of the spirit of the law regarding implied insults.

Example (paraphrased): "I'm not like *you* seycyrus! I'm an intelligent, compassionate individual who uses his head for something besides a hatrack!"

etc.

 

[CFDFEAGURU]

This thread has taken the same route that most conversations take with the person that I was trying to find help in dealing with.

We have an argument about amniotic fluid, a non-implied sarcastic post (how is anyone supposed to know that BobG was being sarcastic?), and now an argument about being sarcastic and insulting within PF threads.

?

Someone please lock this thread. It has entered into the world where it can no longer benefit anyone to read further.

Many thanks to those of you who read the title of the thread and provided an answer that pertained to this thread. Also, to those of you who deal with similar situations I hope the best for all of you.

Again, lock this thread as it is now useless.

Thanks
Matt

 

[seycyrus]

...
Again, lock this thread as it is now useless.

Thanks
Matt

Maybe we were providing you with an opportunity to utilize some of the techniques that were presented to you by the earliest replies?

Yeah, that must be it.

 

[CFDFEAGURU]

For heavens sake,

Maybe we were providing you with an opportunity to utilize some of the techniques that were presented to you by the earliest replies?

Are you for real? Did you read the rest of what I posted?

I don't need an example of how to be sarcastic. If you knew me in real life you would see that I am very sarcastic. The difference between here and real life is the fact that you can see my face and read my demeanor and know that I can being sarcastic. If I wanted to be a rude jerk to the person I wouldn't have asked for help with a "friendly" manner in which to deal with them.

What does this thread have to do with amniotic fluid and how a fetus breathes? What does this thread have to do with the public relations of the Physics Forum?

I am not asking the thread to be locked because I didn't learn anything, I am asking it to be locked because there is nothing more that I can gain from it. (Assuming the same useless posts about issues this thread was never inteded for continues forward.)

Thanks
Matt

 

[DaveC426913]

This thread has taken the same route that most conversations take with the person that I was trying to find help in dealing with.

We have an argument about amniotic fluid, a non-implied sarcastic post (how is anyone supposed to know that BobG was being sarcastic?), and now an argument about being sarcastic and insulting within PF threads.

?

You - the OP - had the same complaint in https://www.physicsforums.com/showpost.php?p=2391423&postcount=31": "Uhhh ... What kind of response is that?" - demonstrating that it was a good idea to correct it.

OK, so it took 7 posts (28 - 35) to tease out the misunderstanding. This is not an argument, this is what is known in a debate as a point of order. A debate sometimes has to pause while a correction is made to the process, then the debate resumes.

CFDFEAGURU is right though. Let's resume the original discussion - if anyone has anything else to add.

 

[CFDFEAGURU]

... Let's resume the original discussion - if anyone has anything else to add.

DaveC426913,

Thank you very much.

Matt

 

[turbo]

Matt, does your cell phone have an alarm feature? You can set if for about 5 minutes into your projected meeting with a really annoying co-worker, and when it goes off, look at the display and say "Sorry! I really have to take this call." No guarantee how many times you can get away with this, though.

 

[DaveC426913]

Matt, does your cell phone have an alarm feature? You can set if for about 5 minutes into your projected meeting with a really annoying co-worker, and when it goes off, look at the display and say "Sorry! I really have to take this call." No guarantee how many times you can get away with this, though.

I keep thinking there's got to be a way to take this bull by the horns, rather than simply find some disingenuous way to escape.

I just haven't been able to think of it yet.

The key, I think, is to bring this guy up short by shining a spotlight on his behaviour (instead of ignoring the elephant in the living room), and then asking about the root case. In a friendly way.

In a way, what you do is pretend to yourself that you're reading between the lines of his nonsensical banter and hearing a plea for help with his social communication problems. You then you proceed to help him "resolve" them by asking insightful questions about his need for attention. Without ever saying a thing, you effectively appoint yourself as his therapist.

He's not about to take you up on it (since you will be getting him to talk about his fears), but I imagine we will stop gifting you with his gems pretty quickly. And who knows, he may just stop gifting other people too.

 

[BobG]

More to the point, I think you did mention the guy has some valuable expertise.

On the other hand, he may not fit into the social fabric of your workplace (I assume there's some social fabric, such as discussion of sporting events, fashion, etc). The question is, is the expertise he contributes worth having to put up socially with a person that has practically nothing in common with you or your coworkers?

Many employers take prospective employees on a tour of the workcenter to get at least some feel for how he'll get along with the current employees before making a hiring decision, so how a coworker fits into the social fabric isn't downplaying the issue as trivial. Obviously, a supervisor probably won't fire a qualified employee because he doesn't fit in socially, but it is a consideration of savvy supervisors when making hiring decisions.

you answered your own question!

Q) How to deal with annoying co-workers?
A) In a friendly manner.

Only, I'd change friendly to polite. Being too nice or too mean will just deepen your relationship with them.

Yes, dealing with them in a firm, but polite manner is best. Ironically, many workers have more problems being firm, but polite to a coworker that they wish they never had to deal with at all than they do with workers they have friendlier relations with. There's a little more confidence that a worker you have a close relationship with won't get offended when you need something done fast.

 

[turbo]

Yes, dealing with them in a firm, but polite manner is best. Ironically, many workers have more problems being firm, but polite to a coworker that they wish they never had to deal with at all than they do with workers they have friendlier relations with. There's a little more confidence that a worker you have a close relationship with won't get offended when you need something done fast.

Bear in mind that this can back-fire on you. I tried the polite but firm approach with some time-wasters only to have them run to the boss, so that my next evaluation contained helpful notes like "Needs to learn to interact better with co-workers."

Some people in that company found any number of reasons to wander around and buttonhole people who were actually trying to get some work done. Management actually encouraged some of that, in the name of "cohesiveness and company spirit". It was a colossal waste of my time to have some garrulous nut from accounting trying to entertain himself at my expense with the "excuse" of hand-delivering a routine, non-critical report that could easily have been put in the company mail system.

 

[seycyrus]

You should learn simply realize that there are different types of people in the world and and suck it up.

I had a professor who had a tendency to go on tangents. For me and everyone else, the correct way to deal with him was to realize that he answered your question in the first few sentences and the rest was ancillary material.

Now if I needed to go to him for an answer, I realized the price I would have to pay AND how to deal with the deluge of information.

 

[BobG]

I had a professor who had a tendency to go on tangents.

That's always a bad sine.

I tried the polite but firm approach with some time-wasters only to have them run to the boss, so that my next evaluation contained helpful notes like "Needs to learn to interact better with co-workers.

And, worse yet, when you do try to "interact better with coworkers" when they bring their silly problems to you, they complain about how you're wasting their time instead of focusing on solving problems they should have been capable of solving on their own.

 

[DaveC426913]

That's always a bad sine.

Why? Just cos he's a prof?

Bear in mind that this can back-fire on you. I tried the polite but firm approach with some time-wasters only to have them run to the boss, so that my next evaluation contained helpful notes like "Needs to learn to interact better with co-workers."

Perhaps. Though it does sound like, in this case, the boss is as aware as everyone else.

In fact, it might not be a bad idea to go to the boss simply to make him aware of the issue (not that you ask your boss to do anything about it). Afterall, this is a performance issue (your performance).

 

[daveg360]

I've spent years becoming more and more jaded by these situations until I finally stumbled upon the solution. I'd always wanted these idiots to get their comeuppance but it's never going to happen. The best you can hope for is for them to stop being your problem. Therefore I now have a policy of going to their senior manager and telling them how great they are, over and over. Once they start believing, find another senior manager from a different and hopefully geographically separated area convince them that this person is a key asset. The ultimate aim being to get them the hell away from you. Who cares if they get more money out of the deal? it may hurt my sense of what's right but in the big scheme of things...