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Hyphenated last names

  1. Aug 14, 2008 #1

    Evo

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    Where does it end?

    I was channel surfing and was stopped at a group of couples with obvious emotional problems on Oprah.

    The first woman "I was about to have our son when friends said to me" if you don't add your last name to your husbands, then who is your son to you?" "How will you connect to him?"

    :bugeye:

    Maybe because he's your son?

    Ok, so first we have Abramson-Johnson marries Stofanich-Sobieski. Now we have a kid with the last name of Abramson-Johnson-Stofanic-Sobieski. Then she marries John Stewart-Gibson-Carson-Lettermen, So their kid is Cindy Abramson-Johnson-Stofanic-Sobieski-Stewart-Gibson-Carson-Lettermen.

    Ok, maybe I am just old-fashioned, but there is a practical reason for a tradition of taking one last name.

    These people made it sound like if you don't insist on passing your own last name onto your child that you will never bond with them and they will never know your side of the family. Some of the couples were in counseling over it. :surprised

    How do people get to the point that something like this brings them to the verge of a nervous breakdown? Now I admit that shows like Oprah look for the people that are borderline psychotic because it makes for a more interesting show, but still, these people are out there.

    One husband was saying that the last names were getting ridiculous and wanted to revert to a single last name.

    At what point does a three page last name become ridiculous? Or do you think that a child should have the last name of every family member throughout history? Because that is the trend that has started.
     
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  3. Aug 14, 2008 #2

    mgb_phys

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    Most of the managers at a previous employer seemed to have solved the problem.
    I'm convinced their parents must have had the same surname before they were married.
     
  4. Aug 14, 2008 #3
    That's your own fault for watching tv, Oprah none the less.

    You have to remember, these shows are pointless. They need SOMETHING to talk about day in, day out. Its the same reason Leno or Letterman's jokes suck. They have to have new ones every single night. There just not well thought out. Neither is the point of Oprah. Now, at least with Maury you KNOW its going to be a 'whos the babbies daddy' or 'guess which woman has man junk' .....

    Personally, I don't even have a middle name.
     
  5. Aug 14, 2008 #4

    LowlyPion

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    It's really economics isn't it? If the men are paying the freight, then they get the name over the door looks like the real tradition. I doubt it will be soon broken so long as men are predominately and nominally the bread winners.
     
  6. Aug 14, 2008 #5

    Evo

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    My mother doesn't have a middle name. :uhh:

    And I always made WAY more than either of my husbands. As a matter of fact I supported both of my husbands after becoming separated, even though they worked.
     
  7. Aug 14, 2008 #6
    Meh, nearly as bad are some of the paternal names in my ancestry in Norway (I don't know the term for that type of name...)

    Cyrus, thats why I watch about 10 channels.
    Nat Geo, Science Channel, VH1 and VH1 Classic, Fuse, the Travel Channel, some stuff on Discovery, and Cartoon Network for Family Guy. Oh, and occasionally Comedy Central when they actually have GOOD comedian on.
     
  8. Aug 14, 2008 #7
    I was flipping back and forth from football (the American version) and the Olympics, and both of the American males in that one swimming event, had hyphenated last names.
     
  9. Aug 14, 2008 #8
    Enjoy as much TV and online computer games before college comes and destroys your life. :devil: I mean, before you have so much fun and free time while in college!
     
  10. Aug 14, 2008 #9

    Evo

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    The British used to do it to some extent, but, well, they're British and don't even know the difference between biscuits and cookies.

    I believe the rule though for names, if the husband's last name was Berkshire-Hathaway that the woman would take her new husband's last name and not hyphenate her own onto it, so it never became a train wreck.
     
  11. Aug 14, 2008 #10
    'Harold Everett Burne-Jones Biscuit-Cookie'
     
  12. Aug 14, 2008 #11
    I have to figure out what I'm doing with my life before going to college, although I'll most likely go to Oregon State.
     
  13. Aug 14, 2008 #12

    mgb_phys

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    It was common when the wife had a rich relative you wanted to 'honour', or if the wife came from a powerful family. Now it's generally just trying to sound posh.

    A more modern problem is what to call the kids if the wife doesn't change her name - a friend suggested that the girls take the mother's surname and the boys take the father's. It might just be easier to go back to the ....son and ....dochter
     
  14. Aug 14, 2008 #13

    lisab

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    I remember trying to decide if I should keep my name, or take my husband's, or hyphenate. I didn't like the hyphenated choice. But it's not an easy decision...I felt torn between loyalty and independence.

    So I kept my name when I married. But for family functions I take my husband's name. It's less confusing than you might think - my career and my family are completely separate.

    I'm very happy with my decision. After I was hired at my present job, I learned of a serindipidous encounter that helped tip the hiring decision in my favor. There was an incidental contact where my name, "Lisa B," was mentioned as a possible hire. Someone I worked with years ago was there and gave me a glowing recommendation. Had I taken the name "Lisa W" I would not have received that endorsement - he wouldn't have known me!

    But the hyphen thing just didn't appeal to me.
     
  15. Aug 14, 2008 #14

    ~christina~

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    I had to go out and missed watching Oprah, today. Darn it, now it reminds me that I missed the soap operas today that are always before Oprah...:cry:
    LOL, maybe through conversation, because he lives in your house. (good grief, I can't believe that they need to think about that)

    Well I'm just wondering how you remember all those names, the spellings, and the order of them. :surprised: Photographic memory? :wink:

    That is crazy. The whole bonding thing is based on how much you interact with them and how good your relationship is with them. As for the, "side of the family," issue, they would not know your side of the family unless you introduced them to your own family. Their way of thinking is quite strange.
    I haven't been married but I would say that this conflict, may be reflecting an underlying rift in the marriage. They may be unhappy together and this is a way to just argue about something. If they really got along, it wouldn't really be an issue and it would be quickly solved, in my opinion.

    It becomes ridiculous, when you can't even remember your whole name or your child's own name for that matter.
     
  16. Aug 14, 2008 #15
    well--keep reading those things that interest you --on your own time--as many as possible
     
  17. Aug 14, 2008 #16

    lisab

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    Go Beavers! But give the Huskies a consideration, too...:wink:
     
  18. Aug 14, 2008 #17
    Are your sure you are not making him imagine your verbs more than an encouragement ?
     
  19. Aug 14, 2008 #18

    wolram

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    Cookies :rolleyes:
     
  20. Aug 14, 2008 #19
    there's a real easy solution--

    don't marry anyone unless they have the same last name
     
  21. Aug 14, 2008 #20

    LowlyPion

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    If they have the same last name do you just use an exponent then?
     
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