I must be a superficial jerk

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  • #26
JasonRox
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Hm, if one experiences pure physical sexual attraction, it would make him/her superficial?
From Google, the definition of superficial, the part that applies here.

Concerned with or comprehending only what is apparent or obvious; shallow.
It is not apparent or obvious, so he's not superficial. He's going out with her for crying out loud. And liked her before hand, now he's more attracted to her. He's not only concerned with her looks or the obvious of her (because he only caught on to this feeling now).
 
  • #27
JasonRox
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Oh, and even if it was superficial, who cares. No need to be politically correct.
 
  • #28
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Hm, if one experiences pure physical sexual attraction, it would make him/her superficial?
My opinion is that would be superficial, but wouldn't necessarily be shallow. The word 'superficial' has a nasty stigma attached to it. I was trying to point that out. I don't see anything wrong with being superficial on occassion, unless one enjoys searching for deeper meaning in all things. Personally, I would find that exhausting and a bit irritating. Being superficial is only a problem when one rarely is interested in or capable of seeing anything meaningful, 'shallow'.

I like cereal!
 
  • #29
radou
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My opinion is that would be superficial, but wouldn't necessarily be shallow. The word 'superficial' has a nasty stigma attached to it. I was trying to point that out. I don't see anything wrong with being superficial on occassion, unless one enjoys searching for deeper meaning in all things. Personally, I would find that exhausting and a bit irritating. Being superficial is only a problem when one rarely is interested in or capable of seeing anything meaningful, 'shallow'.

I like cereal!
I agree. Further on, it all depends. Not all women will attract you in an equal way, nor will one experience the same type of attraction every time.

Btw, what is the difference between "superficial" and "shallow"?
 
  • #30
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Well that depends on why she's lost weight::uhh:
1. You keep telling her that you'll like her more if she loses some weight and be a skinny girl!
2. Some people lose weight when things aren't going on well especially in relatioships.
So if these are not the cases, you are not a superficial jerk or at least not in a bad way!

because they're blond!
I think she lost the weight because I have been out of town quite a bit lately; so, I haven't been around to feed her. So, she just eats cold cereal.

Don't get me wrong... I'm not her cook/*****.... She's kind of a scavenger. She just waits until I make myself some food, then she takes some of the remains.
 
  • #31
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She's just a gf. Unless you two have planned this to always be a long-term committed relationship (liken to marraige) the whole premise of the relationship is superficial. Why act like it isn't? Otherwise you are just setting yourself up for misery when it's over. Have fun with it.

Yeah but if she drops down to 98 lbs, then I will ask her to marry me. :surprised
 
  • #32
BobG
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I think it is okay to love her more when she gets skinny as long as you don't love her less when she gets fat.
Why did she lose the weight? to be more attractive, you better be more attracted or you are in trouble.
Mathematically, I think that could be a problem.

What if she undergoes frequent phases of weight gain and weight loss. There's only a net gain in how much he loves her and how much he has to be attracted to her. Pretty soon he's going to be spending 24 hours a day groveling along behind her and it's going to be hard to increase much beyond that.

Or, maybe he could just love her a tiny bit more when she gets skinny, just to leave room for future expansion. Do something like toss her a cookie or something.

Or, then again, some of us might be so superficial we have no concept of superficiality. :rofl:
 
  • #33
What if she undergoes frequent phases of weight gain and weight loss. There's only a net gain in how much he loves her and how much he has to be attracted to her. Pretty soon he's going to be spending 24 hours a day groveling along behind her and it's going to be hard to increase much beyond that
:rofl: :rofl:
 
  • #34
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Mathematically, I think that could be a problem.

What if she undergoes frequent phases of weight gain and weight loss. There's only a net gain in how much he loves her and how much he has to be attracted to her.
Maybe I can try to rectify the signal. Then my love for her can be measured in terms of a root mean square.
 
  • #35
Office_Shredder
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Mathematically, I think that could be a problem.

What if she undergoes frequent phases of weight gain and weight loss. There's only a net gain in how much he loves her and how much he has to be attracted to her. Pretty soon he's going to be spending 24 hours a day groveling along behind her and it's going to be hard to increase much beyond that.

Or, maybe he could just love her a tiny bit more when she gets skinny, just to leave room for future expansion. Do something like toss her a cookie or something.

Or, then again, some of us might be so superficial we have no concept of superficiality. :rofl:
Perhaps his love for her increases proportional to 1/love^2, where love is his love before she lost the weight most recently. Then it will converge to a finite limit, so he'll be OK
 
  • #36
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wow you guyz are ****ing weird
 
  • #37
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You're superficial if you only like her because she's looks good. If she looks good and she's dense as a post then you are superficial.
 
  • #38
Moonbear
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Okay, so you think she looks better a bit thinner than she was before, yet, you were still attracted to her enough before she lost the weight to start dating her, so how is that superficial? Since she is very petite, you're attracted to her in a healthy weight range. I'd only be worried if you were demanding she lose more weight to the point of being underweight/undernourished. It's only superficial if you don't appreciate anything else about her and just are after her for her looks and will dump her as soon as her weight is above or below some ideal for you. If appearances are the ONLY reason you're with her, then that's superficial, but if her appearances just add to the attraction, that's normal. While many of us don't count physical appearance as the most important quality for dating someone, we all recognize that there are certain physiques that appeal to us more than others. There's certainly nothing wrong with suddenly finding yourself MORE attracted to your girlfriend (and who knows, maybe it's not just the weight loss...if you've been away a while or a lot, maybe you missed her more and she missed you so both of you have been more attentive to each other since returning, or realized how much you enjoy being together, and the slight change in appearance is just icing on the cake).
 
  • #39
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OK guys, I got a confession to make. I am married to her. We've been married for almost eight years. Damn, admitting that makes me feel so old... that is why I just posted "gf" before.

Well, the lesson to be learned here is that if you make a marriage work by being a faithful companion, there are cycles of good times and bad... sickness and health... skinny and not-as-skinny.

But "seriously", if she drops down to 98 lbs, I will ask her to renew our marriage vows. :rofl:

BTW: Thanks for the moral support in the "Smoking" thread (which is now locked)... especially those who poured their hearts out (like Danger) and those who kept the thread hillarious (like marlon).
 
  • #40
SpaceTiger
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Perhaps she is just more confident now that she weighs less. I find that my level of attraction to someone hinges much more on that than on the physical characteristics.
 
  • #41
BobG
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OK guys, I got a confession to make. I am married to her. We've been married for almost eight years. Damn, admitting that makes me feel so old... that is why I just posted "gf" before.

Well, the lesson to be learned here is that if you make a marriage work by being a faithful companion, there are cycles of good times and bad... sickness and health... skinny and not-as-skinny.

But "seriously", if she drops down to 98 lbs, I will ask her to renew our marriage vows. :rofl:

BTW: Thanks for the moral support in the "Smoking" thread (which is now locked)... especially those who poured their hearts out (like Danger) and those who kept the thread hillarious (like marlon).
It sounds to me as if you just need a way to respond to that perplexing, "Does this dress make me look fat?" question.

Well, I have the answer to that, as well. Just quote some Shakespeare to her. Shakespeare always works.

Shakespeare - My Mistress' Eyes Are Nothing Like the Sun said:
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
 
  • #42
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The Dark Mistress,
Of course, if she knows Shakespear, she might take that as an insult. Just hope it doesn't backfire.
 

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