Not necessarily. Some persons are innately bent on being abusive.
Well, next time it threatens you, punch him in his face. I guarantee you it will never ever again threaten you.
But one observation. It is not homosexuality or machismo who threatens a man , it is another man.
I don't know how innate it is. Perhaps the person's brain is not normal and that leads them to abusive behaviour, but their brain may have developed that way because of experiencing abusive behaviour, or it could be an entirely genetic disposition. Still, I'm not sure, but I believe abusive behaviour is normally a learned behaviour that a person uses to achieve their desires.
I think what happens is that the abuser feels threatened when there is no threat. Their insecurity with their own view makes them threatened by anyone who expresses an opposing view. Rather than confront their own issues with the opposing view, they direct their hatred towards the man expressing it. The man becomes an innate representation of the opposing view. To resolve their own insecurity they decide that punching the other man in the face will remove the threat. It makes the abusers viewpoint more secure because they can suppress the viewpoint of the other man by intimidating him.
Sometime it takes 30 secs to save 2 years of future belittling. Unfortunately those persons won't stop to act aggressively on you if you take the high way. So it boils down to a personal choice: will you let another person to act aggressively towards you constantly in the name of "social accepted ways of behavior" or speak to them a language they do understand to make them stop.
My reaction depends very much on what I think their reaction will be. I didn't think my 70 year old great uncle was going to be physically violent to me. Punching him would have been an extreme over-reaction. His gossiping brought more conflict into his life than it did into mine. He had an argument with his brother, my grandfather, that did not go very well for him. One of my uncles asked me about it while he was drunk and I was driving him home from a wedding party. He's the one who told me about my great uncle's sexual behaviours. While my uncle viewed women with the same macho viewpoint as my great uncle, he wasn't insecure in his own viewpoint so there was no conflict between us. I never noticed any reaction from my direct family, and I don't speak to most of my other family members so I have no idea what their reaction was. I think they lost interest in including me in their gossip a long time ago. Out of sight, out of mind.
The whole thing started with a sexual joke with my aunt and uncle who I was staying with at the time. I was talking in what I call a tranny voice like Jim Carrey from
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SF6Ed--Dxg8" They thought it was funny and we all laughed. So when I moved to Phoenix I stayed with my great uncle while I got a job and saved money for my own place. We were watching TV one night and something from a commercial reminded me of the of the time with my aunt and uncle. So I used the tranny voice to make some joke about the commercial. Well, he didn't think it was funny at all. He asked me what I said, haha, so I stupidly said it again in the tranny voice. Then he got up and went to his room. The next day he said I had a week to move out because he had some relatives coming to visit. The relatives were my grandfather and my step-grandmother, and there was an empty room. I had been at my great uncles place less than 3 weeks when he told me I had to move out.
So I moved out and was staying at a studio apartment that I payed by the week in west Phoenix because that was all I could afford at the time. I had spent a few hundred on new tires for my car because my aunt and uncle lived 5 miles down a rocky dirt road that I used to drive almost every day. I would replace them with tires from a junkyard because, between the mesquite thorns and terrain they seemed to last as long as new ones on my Ford Escort on those roads. The glass in my hatchback shattered, probably from the summer heat, though I had my windows open a crack. I just had it replaced with the entire hatch from another junkyard car. I ended up living not far from the junkyards.
I was looking to get into a place with affordable rent so I could save money for school. A guy I knew from work had a friend who was looking for a roomate. He seemed reasonable enough when I met him, and I was desperate, so I agreed. The guy was a 250 pound, muscular black man that turned out to be not reasonable at all. I was working 12 hour night shifts 5 or 6 days a week so I was barely home anyway. Then his son came to visit for a few days and he had to work. He seemed agitated after that. Then I was coming home one night from a party and my roomate was in the apartment with some woman. I was a little drunk and tired and they had sex in the next room while I played playstation with the headphones on until they were done and I could get some sleep. I think I was playing one of the Final Fantasy games. Anyway, after that he became aggressive towards me and seemed to think I was gay. I probably shouldn't have told him about the incident with my great uncle, or my 'not so great uncle' as I referred to him while he was living.
Luckily, as that conflict came to a boil and he finally threatened to kill me I was making plans to move into the school dorms. So one day while he was at work I took all my things, including the cable TV I was paying for, and left. I went to the apartment manager about a week later to get my security deposit back, but he couldn't give it to me because it had been paid by my roomate in cash. So we went to the apartment and woke my roomate up and I demanded my money. He of course denied that I ever gave him any money. I didn't expect to get it, but it was worth seeing his reaction. When I went to my car he came out to the parking lot, but the manager intercepted him. If the manager hadn't been there I probably would have been hospitalized at the least. So yeah, solving that problem by punching someone would have been a poor decision too.
Sadly, none of this is unusual in my life. I understand the anger and propensity towards violence, and I still disagree with it. People need to focus more on controlling themselves and less on controlling others that are not posing a genuine threat to them. Punching someone doesn't remove the cause of a problem if the cause resides in one's self. It masks a symptom by removing the effect. Just like invading someone's privacy doesn't resolve the real issue of trust that resides in the person who invades privacy. Insecurity is ugly.
That is a qualitative term which can just as easily represent 1 in 10-20. And remember that I can't spot a gay from a mile away, many are discrete about their sexuality.
