Men: How Would You React to Being Contacted Out of the Blue?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Evo
  • Start date Start date
AI Thread Summary
The discussion centers around the reactions of individuals when contacted unexpectedly by a woman expressing admiration for them. Initial responses include feelings of flattery mixed with suspicion, particularly regarding how the woman obtained their email address. Public figures note they often receive such messages, which can feel overwhelming or even creepy, depending on the approach and content of the email. Many participants agree that the context and tone of the message significantly influence their reactions; a well-crafted email referencing shared interests or work is more likely to be welcomed than a vague compliment. Some express that if they were single, they might be more open to engaging, while others emphasize discomfort, especially if the message is overly focused on physical attraction. The conversation also touches on the challenges of online communication, where initial impressions can be easily misinterpreted. Ultimately, there is a consensus that while such outreach can be flattering, it often requires careful consideration of how to approach the recipient to avoid coming off as strange or overly forward.

How would you feel about a woman e-mailing you with no prior contact?

  • She must be crazy

    Votes: 10 18.5%

  • I would be flattered

    Votes: 21 38.9%

  • Depends on what she looks like

    Votes: 11 20.4%

  • Depends on her personality

    Votes: 12 22.2%
  • Total voters
    54
  • #201
RetardedBastard said:
Sorry to let you down evo but I was only kidding when I said I knew his lab assistant.
But if you want his home address and #, it's quite easy to find... in case you didn't already know. Perhaps you could send him a personal letter via postal mail. Or even buy one of his books and ask him to autograph it for you. You could arrange to have it shipped via DHL, prepay for the envelope ofcourse to save him all the hassle. I bet all his OTHER stalkers contact him via email, so you would really stand apart :)
Now that's making me sound like a stalker. :smile:

No, I will wait until hell freezes over.
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #202
I guess I haven't made it clear, I think he's handsome, I think he's intelligent, maybe an e-mail. But I'm not obsessed, I'm not going to make up pretenses to talk to him, I'm not going to research what he likes and try to strike up a converstaion, I'm not going to try to engage him in a discussion of his work, I'm not going to fly acrosas the Atlantic to try to meet him in person. It was just going to be a simple e-mail saying that I think he has a fascinating mind and that he's cute.
 
  • #203
Evo said:
I guess I haven't made it clear, I think he's handsome, I think he's intelligent, maybe an e-mail. But I'm not obsessed, I'm not going to make up pretenses to talk to him, I'm not going to research what he likes and try to strike up a converstaion, I'm not going to try to engage him in a discussion of his work, I'm not going to fly acrosas the Atlantic to try to meet him in person. It was just going to be a simple e-mail saying that I think he has a fascinating mind and that he's cute.

Dang it evo, as a friend I have to tell you now you've become delusional! You say you're not obsessed but you've created and posted on a thread with dozens of replies in a short period of time. THAT is not obsession? You're going to drive yourself crazy if this pace continutes. I'm giving you till tomorrow morning. If you havn't emailed him by then, I'm sending him a link to this discussion!
 
  • #204
I don't see what the big deal of sending someone an e-mail saying you admire them.

I've done it to people of both sexes! Admiration for another person is completely normal and a positive thing (if it's for positive reasons).
 
  • #205
RetardedBastard said:
Dang it evo, as a friend I have to tell you now you've become delusional! You say you're not obsessed but you've created and posted on a thread with dozens of replies in a short period of time. THAT is not obsession? You're going to drive yourself crazy if this pace continutes. I'm giving you till tomorrow morning. If you havn't emailed him by then, I'm sending him a link to this discussion!
And how will you know if she's emailed him or not? Better send it anyway, you know, just to be sure. :-p
 
  • #206
JasonRox said:
I don't see what the big deal of sending someone an e-mail saying you admire them.

I've done it to people of both sexes! Admiration for another person is completely normal and a positive thing (if it's for positive reasons).

Thrice said:
And how will you know if she's emailed him or not? Better send it anyway, you know, just to be sure. :-p

Prepare to get banned!

:eek::bugeye::eek: DUN DUN DUUUNN :eek::bugeye::eek:
 
  • #207
Evo- that probably did sound a little, uh, forward. He lived on the next block over. I didn't want to make a habit of strolling by on my walks if there was a Mrs. in front of his name. It turns out he was trying to figure out a way to meet me as well. Knowing something about him also gave me a little more confidence. Funny how that works.

Nope, no e-mail to a friend of a friend here. My fingers are walking over to a cup of hot cocoa instead.

It's good that you started this thread (despite what you might be thinking). I imagine there are other people faced with the same dilemma that are too shy to say anything.
 
Last edited:
  • #208
Math Jeans said:
Prepare to get banned!

:eek::bugeye::eek: DUN DUN DUUUNN :eek::bugeye::eek:

Get in line. I'd be the first one to receive a swift banning after I said she was being delusional :)
 
  • #209
wolram said:
Run for my life, only a crazy woman would do such a thing.
I've heard that sex with a crazy person can be very intense.

Wear a condom, and don't fall a sleep.
 
  • #210
Evo said:
I'm afraid you're not safe either zoob.
Safe from what?
 
  • #211
RetardedBastard said:
Get in line. I'd be the first one to receive a swift banning after I said she was being delusional :)
Hey, I'm not delusional, we'll, perhaps just a bit. :wink:

No, I'm just bored because I'm injured, and I've had to put my life on hold just when I started a move, my best friend is mad at me and won't talk, so this gives me something to do.

Far Star said:
Evo- that probably did sound a little, uh, forward. He lived on the next block over. I didn't want to make a habit of strolling by on my walks if there was a Mrs. in front of his name. It turns out he was trying to figure out a way to meet me as well. Knowing something about him also gave me a little more confidence. Funny how that works.
That's great! Someone has to make a move.

It's good that you started this thread (despite what you might be thinking). I imagine there are other people faced with the same dilemma that are too shy to say anything.
Yeah, we've had so many threads lately on how guys are too shy to approach women I thought I'd do one.
 
Last edited:
  • #212
zoobyshoe said:
Safe from what?
From being stalked by me. I'm going to go crazy before I can move around again, I have too much to do. :mad: Unfortunately I can only stalk by e-mail right now.
 
  • #213
Evo said:
Unfortunately I can only stalk by e-mail right now.
Amateur. Math is Hard stalks me personally, or, when she's busy, has one of her enslaved minions do it.
 
  • #214
Evo said:
Yeah, we've had so many threads lately on how guys are too shy to approach women I thought I'd do one.

If only there were more women who did the same.
 
  • #215
Have you e-mailed him yet, Evo?
 
  • #216
RetardedBastard said:
If only there were more women who did the same.
Wait a minute, you just got through telling me I was delusional, you can't back track now.

zoobyshoe said:
Amateur. Math is Hard stalks me personally, or, when she's busy, has one of her enslaved minions do it.
I'm taking Math Is Hard's correspondence course on stalking the wild zooby. Have all of our wild party videos been erased? Those were so good.
 
  • #217
RetardedBastard said:
Have you e-mailed him yet, Evo?
Good heavens no.
 
  • #218
To all of you that have e-mailed and pm'd me with helpful hints, thanks. I'm often misunderstood, I'm rarely serious about anything. I think the scene from The Bishop's Wife between Loretta Young and Cary Grant sums me up. (I'm Cary Grant)

Young: I never know what to think of you Dudley. I never know whether you're joking or serious.

Grant: I'm at my most serious when I'm joking.
 
  • #219
Evo said:
No, I'm just bored because I'm injured, and I've had to put my life on hold just when I started a move, my best friend is mad at me and won't talk, so this gives me something to do.

well, health first---
 
  • #220
JasonRox said:
I don't see what the big deal of sending someone an e-mail saying you admire them.

I've done it to people of both sexes! Admiration for another person is completely normal and a positive thing (if it's for positive reasons).
Thanks Jason, that's how I feel about it. I'm usually on the receiving end of such e-mails, and as long as they aren't of a sexual nature, I find some of them quite interesting.
 
  • #221
Far Star said:
My fingers are walking over to a cup of hot cocoa instead.

I usually prefer drinking hot cocoa over sticking my fingers in it, but to each his or her own I suppose. :rolleyes:
 
  • #222
evo--maybe it would be best to wait until you got out of that body cast (and start doing those back flips again)---things are not too much fun from a wheel chair

(or, at least until your arm heals)



(its hard to be yourself while in pain and/or on meds from the pain--)
 
Last edited:
  • #223
Evo said:
Wait a minute, you just got through telling me I was delusional, you can't back track now.

LOL. I never would have stated "If only there were more women who did the same" had I been fully aware of the fact that you had already entered into a state of delusion! :)

I'm taking Math Is Hard's correspondence course on stalking the wild zooby. Have all of our wild party videos been erased? Those were so good.

You're stalking zooby now? Did you give up on the other "chemical scum" *ALREADY*? :)
 
  • #224
RetardedBastard said:
You're stalking zooby now?
You missed my offer to stalk anyone willing to be my victim? I've never stalked anyone before. I guess I should practice. I don't think I'm focused enough to stalk properly. I'd end up getting distracted.

Did you give up on the other "chemical scum" *ALREADY*? :)
Nope, he's still top scum in my book. :smile:
 
  • #225
Facebook is excellent for stalking. If you're on the same network as the stalkee, that is. There's women there posting private information who wouldn't give me the time of day. It's almost boring how easy it is.
 
  • #226
Evo said:
You missed my offer to stalk anyone willing to be my victim?
Nope, he's still top scum in my book. :smile:

Nope, I don't just let anyone stalk me... they would have to like me first.
 
  • #227
The nice thing about stalking Zooby is that he is so accommodating. I can usually just call him and ask him where he will be, and let him know what time I plan on stalking him, and he's kind enough to show up. Last time he even let me sit down and draw pictures with him.
 
  • #228
RetardedBastard said:
Nope, I don't just let anyone stalk me... they would have to like me first.
A picky stalkee.

Math Is Hard said:
The nice thing about stalking Zooby is that he is so accommodating. I can usually just call him and ask him where he will be, and let him know what time I plan on stalking him, and he's kind enough to show up. Last time he even let me sit down and draw pictures with him.
The distance makes stalking difficult. Maybe a little voice when he opens his e-mail that says "you've been stalked" similar to "you've got mail". ?
 
  • #229
Which raises another question. Is it really stalking if you don't have to work for it? The whole point was that you'd be intruding on someone's privacy. What if he/she doesn't have any privacy?
 
  • #230
Thrice said:
Which raises another question. Is it really stalking if you don't have to work for it? The whole point was that you'd be intruding on someone's privacy. What if he/she doesn't have any privacy?
I would never intrude on anyone's privacy. I would stalk by invitation only.
 
Last edited:
  • #231
Evo said:
I would never intrude on anyone's privay. I would stalk by invitation only.

Yeah, so is that violating the letter or the spirit of stalking? I'm leaning towards the former because I don't think it matters as much how you get the information.
 
  • #232
Let's face it, I'm too laid back to be a successful stalker. :frown: I guess I will just abandon the whole idea of contacting him.

I'll just buy some potted plants instead. My cat loves destroying potted plants. That ought to keep me busy for awhile.
 
Last edited:
  • #233
Moonbear- you've never stuck your fingers in hot cocoa? Makes a great page turner and lint brush.
 
  • #234
Far Star said:
Moonbear- you've never stuck your fingers in hot cocoa? Makes a great page turner and lint brush.

Hmm...do you lick the cocoa off your fingers before or after you've picked up the lint? Then again, probably no worse than those who insisted I should bathe my cat with my tongue when I first got her. :rolleyes:
 
  • #235
Moonbear said:
Then again, probably no worse than those who insisted I should bathe my cat with my tongue when I first got her. :rolleyes:

That's no worse than...never mind. I'll stick with Evo and buy a plant. Safety in greenery.
 
  • #236
Far Star said:
That's no worse than...never mind. I'll stick with Evo and buy a plant. Safety in greenery.

I love plants!

It's like my new addiction. I have 4 plants in my room. I have a palm tree that goes over my bed, which is like sleeping under a tree and reading under a tree every night!
 
  • #237
JasonRox said:
I love plants!

It's like my new addiction. I have 4 plants in my room. I have a palm tree that goes over my bed, which is like sleeping under a tree and reading under a tree every night!
The palm tree sounds very nice. Until my cat goes, no living plant will survive in my house. And I love plants. :frown:
 
  • #238
Math Is Hard said:
The nice thing about stalking Zooby is that he is so accommodating. I can usually just call him and ask him where he will be, and let him know what time I plan on stalking him, and he's kind enough to show up. Last time he even let me sit down and draw pictures with him.

This is why I can't keep my stalkers interested: I'm way too easy.
 
  • #239
Evo said:
The palm tree sounds very nice. Until my cat goes, no living plant will survive in my house. And I love plants. :frown:

Ahhh! Sounds like the cat at my home.
 
  • #240
Evo said:
Let's face it, I'm too laid back to be a successful stalker. :frown: I guess I will just abandon the whole idea of contacting him.

NOOOOO :cry:
 
  • #241
Evo said:
Let's face it, I'm too laid back to be a successful stalker. :frown: I guess I will just abandon the whole idea of contacting him.

I had this general outline in my head where you and David would hit it off, and David would come to Kansas with you. And while he was here, he would give a lecture at say, Exploration Place or the Cosmosphere and I'd get a chance to meet him in person, maybe even have a sip of tea. Alas, 'tis would have been pretty memorable.
 
  • #242
Any woman who emails me out of the blue has got to be crazy. She will soon find out that there is only one woma, other than mom, who can put up with me and she has been doing it for 20+ years.
 
  • #243
Evo said:
Let's face it, I'm too laid back to be a successful stalker. :frown: I guess I will just abandon the whole idea of contacting him.

again: NOOOOO :cry:
 
  • #244
Thrice said:
Facebook is excellent for stalking. If you're on the same network as the stalkee, that is. There's women there posting private information who wouldn't give me the time of day. It's almost boring how easy it is.
Scariest comment on this thread -- in a "umm... yeah"... slowly backs away from poster... way

:-p
 
  • #245
RetardedBastard said:
I had this general outline in my head where you and David would hit it off, and David would come to Kansas with you. And while he was here, he would give a lecture at say, Exploration Place or the Cosmosphere and I'd get a chance to meet him in person, maybe even have a sip of tea. Alas, 'tis would have been pretty memorable.

Math Jeans said:
again: NOOOOO :cry:
On second thought, I am wounded and need something to do...

Okay, what should I say? I need suggestions. If it was me I'd just write "I think you're fascinating and cute". Oh wait, it is me.
 
Last edited:
  • #246
Why are the two last options even listed? How would anyone ever know through an e-mail?
 
  • #247
JasonRox said:
Why are the two last options even listed? How would anyone ever know through an e-mail?
I think personality comes through in writing, at least it does to me. Also, if you have pictures, then you can tell something about appearance.
 
  • #248
ask him, that if you sent him your (well read) copies of his books, would he mind inscribing and signing them
 
Last edited:
  • #249
rewebster said:
ask him, that if you sent him your (well read) copies of his books, would he mind inscribing and signing them
If I'm not mistaken signed copies of his book had a higher price and the money was donated to the children's foundation he supports.
 
  • #250
Evo,

Well, you could ask if he would sign a few books to be auctioned on E-bay or some such with the proceeds going to a worthy organization or cause. This would allow you to add something about yourself so he would know you're not a flake or fraud. A link to a bio and picture under your signature perhaps? I have no doubt a few members might help you along by donating books that are in excellent condition. A win-win proposition if he's inclined to sign them.

edit to add: You can still express your admiration for him in the note. Btw, the other person in that picture looks like his son.

Or, you could simply say: Hello, I find your as interesting as your work. It takes two to Tango, care to Waltz?

Edit to add: if he's single
 
Last edited:

Similar threads

Book Review: Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men
Replies
19
Views
7K
Is zero of nothing nothing? If so, would you write units for nothing?
Replies
14
Views
1K
Have men been priced out of the dating market?
3
Replies
126
Views
42K
  • Poll Poll
MHB Would you read a blog about numerical analysis?
Replies
1
Views
1K
Why do we spend so much time learning grammar in the public school system?
2
Replies
98
Views
2K
Is Heightism the Last Acceptable Prejudice?
Replies
9
Views
2K
What to Do if You Encounter a Possible Psychopath? Report?
Replies
15
Views
3K
What we can learn from conspiracy theories
Replies
12
Views
2K
Focus all of your ire on me, if you would
Replies
4
Views
2K
How will public react if we discover life on another planet?
Replies
12
Views
2K

Hot Threads

Recent Insights

Back
Top