Messing Up Bad: Dealing with a 25-Year-Old Acting Like a Little Girl

[TheStatutoryApe]

I used to know a guy back when that SelfMade reminds me of. He started coming around the coffee house I worked at and came off as kinda odd and dorky but definitely a nice guy. He found himself in heaven because we had so many pretty girls that hung out there who had a fondness for dorky guys. He often bought people drinks, mostly the females, and was rather popular for a while. It didn't take very long for him to become infatuated with several of the ladies and most of them decided that he was kind of creepy and clingy and couldn't take the hint that they weren't interested. He offered to take them out to dinner and the movies, "just as friends", and most of them declined. He also had a habit of giving back rubs without asking and being too insistant to notice how uncomfortable he was making them. The few ladies that took him up on his offers and back rubs quickly found themselves the center of his obsessed infatuations. They thought he was nice and did not want to be mean so the situation would carry on for a while. Ultimately he would get told off rather rudely and generally still didn't get the "hint".

A girl I knew in particular got herself caught up with him. She certainly did not mind letting him buy her dinner and take her places. He didn't care that she was not interested. He still wanted to take her out places so she went. Eventually every outing turned into a chance for him to tell her he loved her and wanted to be with her. Every time he would whine, cry, or get angry when she turned him down. When I stupidly dated her he apparently decided I was a jerk and got mad at her for it. I think he felt he was better than me. At some point she started going places with him just to pacify him because he would call and show up at her work or home to see her. She began to feel as though she was owed for all the trouble he gave her and expected him to buy her stuff. Over 3-4 years he bought her a couple cellphones and a car that I know of.

My phone won't let me type more so I'll come back to this.

 

[ZQrn]

Wow, this thread shows that romantic love is a mind altering drug that makes you lose all sanity and is highly addictive like I've never seen it shown.

SELFMADE, see it as rehab, the initial period is going to be rough, but life will be a lot better without the addiction, not to mention, you'll start thinking more clearly and in the end probably realize that she wasn't that special or worth all of it.

 

[Pengwuino]

She began to feel as though she was owed for all the trouble he gave her and expected him to buy her stuff. Over 3-4 years he bought her a couple cellphones and a car that I know of.

WOW. Just WOW.

 

[ZQrn]

The obvious advantage of liking shy people is that they won't let you buy them stuff even if you really want to, to the point of refusing to let you pay back at least half of the phone bill they accumulated from staying up one night to talk to you because you got stuck missing the last train. I tried, she wouldn't let me.

 

[DanP]

What part of

do you not understand?

When a woman says that, you can take it to the bank. Unfortunately, that's probably about all you'll be able to take to the bank in this case. You've insulted her and acted like a psycho and now she's afraid to approach you even if she had intentions of giving you back the $1400.

With any luck, her conscience will bother her and she will want to repay you the money (and not in the way you were hinting at). If you want her to contact you to make that repayment arrangement, your best bet is to back off, move on, and stop being "scary, crazy guy".

I hate to be so blunt with you, but this is how you are being perceived.

Math, it's nice for you to defend her, but ...

1. If a women plays you for money you have every right to treat her like a whore.
2. Women who conn man for money will many times offer sex for money too, in the situation
they don't find a naive man to leech from it while giving back only words.
3. The thing "she is scared to give 1500 US$ back doesn't hold any water. She could write a check and mail it.
4. If she wants his money back, the best thing is to pressure her badly and coerce her, speak to her a language she understands. The OP should be warned that usually those leeches do not operate alone, and she may offer further surprises.

 

[DanP]

I could very, very easily present a scenario in which the OP is actually a snake in the grass manipulating a young lady with offers of material goods (no, no, please! I insist! Let me pay for dinner. It would make me really happy. I know how much school is costing you. Really, it's my treat.) and then later resenting what he'd offered or done because he actually had other intentions.

Please present the scenario .:P

The issue is not taking advantage of his little gifts, but asking for a loan of 1500 US$ , with no intention to pay back. A "actually a snake in the grass manipulating a young lady" would never fork 1500 US$ from his pocket. A snake in the grass knows how to manipulate her into a relation, and how to make his money worth.

Sure there are countless times when males are unhappy they spent money with a women and didn't manage to screw her, but when loans are involved, the snake isn't the one who gave the money.

 

[DanP]

Should I txt her telling "dont worry about the money" now or no? First person responds decides.

Ask her for the money repeatedly and pressure her till you have them back. Then forget her. If what you wrote here is true, she basically conned you. If you loose the money, don't worry, the lesson is worthing 1.5 k :P

 

[xxChrisxx]

Thread is tl;dr only read the first post and last few posts.

Didn't you post this sob story on 2+2?

Then I said "you can give me other stuff" she's like "what" I said "you know, u could be working on your debt right now instead of just sitting around" she says "omg I can't believe" "it'll be just between u and me, i'll pay you more than your work" "are you actually asking me to sell my body?" "think whatever you like, I didn't say that" "you won't say it cus you're a coward" "hey I only wanted my money" "alright I'll give it to you this week" "by sunday" "yeah by sunday!"

I know what you meant, she knew what you meant. I can't say what you should do as it would get me banned, but the above quote makes me want to punch you.

 

[Borg]

I suggest then get acquainted :P

No thanks.

In any case, I think that your attitude would be healthier for him at this point. He has been obsessing over this woman for months and needs to stop caring so much.
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=400629"

 

[DanP]

Ah, well yes. It's unfortunate you have such a miserable, misogynistic point of view. You might learn that there's joy in life. Lots of it.

And I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as a "post-menopausal woman". You might want to research that physical concept a bit if you're going to continue to hold yourself out as an expert on women. Me? I've got the inside track.



Yeah we old folks understand each other.

YOu may have got the inside track, but you didnt got the definitions :P

Postmenopausal: After the menopause. Postmenopausal is defined formally as the time after which a woman has experienced twelve (12) consecutive months of amenorrhea (lack of menstruation) without a period.

The average length of the postmenopause has been increasing. With greater longevity, a woman will soon be postmenopausal on the average a third of her life.

 

[cristo]

PF is better than this. Thread closed.