Can Old Sayings Get a Modern Twist?

[arildno]

Toby, or not Toby, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler as a man to suffer
the stings and arrows of his outrageous fortune,
Or, to take harms against his spear of troubles,
and by opposing, deflate it?

 

[Artman]

One of my favorite modifications of an old saying was in a birthday card I got years ago.

There was a caveman that wanted to move a huge rock, so he thought, he could use a lever and probably move the rock, or he could get his extremely strong friend Nate to move it for him. He finally decided to get Nate to move it.

The moral of the story was: "Better Nate than lever."

 

[arildno]

Smart caveman!

 

[arildno]

to bee or not to bee, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler
in a man to stuff it,
in the sinks and burrows of an outraged unfortunate
or, to show charms to a sea of couples
and by imposing, end them?

 

[Artman]

to bee or not to bee, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler
in a man to stuff it,
in the sinks and burrows of an outraged unfortunate
or, to show charms to a sea of couples
and by imposing, end them?

I like this one. Very sharp.

 

[Artman]

How about:

Tubby, or not tubby. that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the pangs of hunger or indulge whims, or to take arms against a sea of buffets, And by opposing get trim?

 

[arildno]

To die, to sleep-
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural f*cks
That flesh is heir to.
'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wish'd..

 

[arildno]

How about:

Tubby, or not tubby. that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the pangs of hunger or indulge whims, or to take arms against a sea of buffets, And by opposing get trim?

Verry good!

 

[phusicist]

don't walk around naked in a glass house.

 

[arildno]

That depends on your size.

 

[Artman]

"It's not the size of the boat, its the motion of the ocean."

It's not the size of the boat, It's how you dock it.

 

[arildno]

Also, it is easier to dock in a well-trafficked harbour where lots of expertise awaits you.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

The moral of the story was: "Better Nate than lever."

That reminds of the guy who had a clone who constantly used foul language. Eventually the man became so digusted with his clone, and his nasty mouth, that he threw him off the roof an killed him. He was later arrested for making an obscene clone fall.

 

[Art]

"Slept like a baby."

You know, tossing and turning all night, waking up every half hour crying, then get up hungry and cranky.

Or speaking of one's manhood -

Hung like a baby ---- 12 inches long and weighing 8 lb.

 

[tribdog]

3D or not 3D what's your impression?
Whether that boulder filled scene
seemed to spring off the screen
as an overhead shower.
How's your ears, the cardboard glasses
by wearing, did cut them?

 

[Evo]

He has a mind like a blotter, he soaks it all in, but gets it all backwards.

Well, ok, I didn't modify it, it's good as is.

 

[Moonbear]

"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

Actually, that one's already a bit weird.

Hmm...I always thought a dagger worked better for that.

"The pen is mightier than the sword..." well, at least those little plastic toothpicks shaped like a sword.

 

[matthyaouw]

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his breastbone, but his stomach offers the path of least resistance.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

A mime is a terrible thing to waste.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

"DARE to keep kids off drugs"... no really I dare you... come on just try it.

 

[daveb]

A mime is a terrible thing to waste.

A mime is a terrible thing!

 

[Artman]

"It ain't over until the fat lady sings."

I have a recollection of an episode of the Simpsons, Marge took everyone to the opera. Bart asked when is it over and Homer responded with, "It ain't over until the fat lady sings." The next singer was a huge woman, to which Bart said, "Is that fat enough for ya?" Homer started laughing and Marge said, " I suppose," and they all left. (I think that's how it went.)

Found the correct passage:

Homer grows impatient, but Bart reminds him, ``It ain't over 'til the
fat lady sings.'' Homer asks, ``Is that one fat enough for you, son?''
Homer stands up. ``Let's go get a burger.''

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/7G02.html"

 

[arildno]

The quickest way to enflame a man's heart (whether straight or gay) is up his guts.

 

[daveb]

There is no "I" in teamwork. Nor is there a "B", a "C", a "D"...

 

[jimmy p]

"Save your pennies for a rainy day" so you can get a bloody big umbrella.

 

[tribdog]

Early to bed, early to rise pretty much describes a PFers social life.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

There is no time like the present; all others must differ by at least one quantum event.

 

[jimmy p]

"Call me old fashioned" but I send my son up chimneys. Keeps him out of mischief.

 

[arildno]

"Save your pennies for a rainy day" so you can get a bloody big umbrella.

"Don't save your penis for a dainty ray"-it's a contradiction.

 

[jimmy p]

"Charity begins at home"...so keeping all your money for yourself and not giving any away. Which is in fact the opposite of charity.

 

[phusicist]

"An I for an I leaves genetic ethics to be seen"

 

[jimmy p]

"Not until the cows come home" Those party animals.

 

[phusicist]

"Truthiness is self-evident"

 

[Artman]

Early to bed, early to rise pretty much describes a PFers social life.

Sad but funny.

 

[scott1]

"Don't let the bed bugs bite" don't worry I a lot of DDT in my bed tonight