Mom and Dad, you belong together

[DadandMom]

My mom now is already 53 years old, living in Malaysia.
i am now a student in japan, 21 years old. My dad died when i was 8.

My mom now falls in love with a 46 year-old American man, an achitect for a construction company in california.

She met him on her business trip to America. I know she loves him already but she keeps saying she doesn't. How can she runs away from what her heart tells her ?
I also find both are a very well-matched couple, since everything they say, everything they plan and even in writing articles for business archives are all perfectly matched.

What do you think i should advise my mother for her another-step-to-another-happiness. Everybody lies about having happiness, right ?

Thank you...

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

I had a similar scenario, but at a much earlier age. I just told everyone they were already married. It got the message across to them and, probably more out of sheer embarassment, they then tied the knot. However, thinking back, I don't know whether it was a good or a bad thing. I don't think marriage necessarily leads to bliss unless you have a particular neurosis about having to be married. If they don't, then the issue here seems to be that your mother has difficulty admitting to herself that she's in love. I don't know what to say on that, but perhaps instigating environments where they might get caught up in the moment? Romantic movies, candle-lit dinners, that kind of thing? Of course, if you're wrong about it, you will come across as an annoying meddler.

No, I don't think everyone lies about having happiness, but it depends on what you mean by happiness. If you mean leading a happy life with someone you love - I honestly have that! If you mean broader happiness, then it would be difficult in the world we are in - a world full of misery, poverty, corrupt and dishonest world leaders... Christ, I'm depressed.

 

[DadandMom]

El-Hombre-Invisible chan, thank you for sharing ideas, but truly i need advise so my mom will tells the man she loves about her true feelings, something in her should be out a bit more...
I know she is not young, and telling something like that to a big, strong man would make her feel ashamed...Isn't it so stressful to her in a world like this when she keeps silent about her real feelings ??

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

Yes, it must be stressful indeed. I'm sorry I can't offer any real advice, but every family dynamic is different and you may find you either have to let her choose if and when she opens herself up or determine for yourself how best to broach the subject with her since you know her best. Have you tried talking to him about it as well?

 

[DadandMom]

Yes, it must be stressful indeed. I'm sorry I can't offer any real advice, but every family dynamic is different and you may find you either have to let her choose if and when she opens herself up or determine for yourself how best to broach the subject with her since you know her best. Have you tried talking to him about it as well?

Well, that is a nice suggestion, I will., I guess he must also have something the same as how my mom feels,
dang, why didn't I try to take this as a chance to make things work around ? I was so stupid.. and couldn't see it till you lightened me up with that advice, El Hombre Inv.
Come on, do it, dadandmom, do it for happiness around a bit,,,please...

 

[DadandMom]

By the way, I am sure my mom is a very active woman, like a computer, functioning very well. I am proud of her.
I will test the man out soon.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

i need advise so my mom will tells the man she loves about her true feelings

Tell her your true feelings. Then butt out.