Page 310 to 311 of Introduction to Electrodynamics by Griffiths has complete explanation of [itex]L_{12}=L_{21}[/itex]. I don't think you can always explain Maxwell's equation in a simple ( in easy English) way. You try too hard, you might misinterpret the equations. My suggestion is to look at the meaning of the double integral and learn to make sense of it. You need to be very good and study inside out of Vector Calculus, there is no short cut way. This is not for the weak of heart. I spent over two years studying Vector Calculus, studied and worked through the exercises in 3 different EM books before I think I get some feel of it. If there is an "ABC" way of explain EM, I have not found it yet. And I am by no means claiming I understand EM.
The mutual inductance involves a double integration respect to both loops, so both mutual inductance has the same formula.