My conversation with a six year old

[zoobyshoe]

I think I agree with you on this. wow. I'm evil. I think I really hate myself now.

Start a thread: "I'm evil and I really hate myself now."

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

I think I agree with you on this. wow. I'm evil. I think I really hate myself now.

Glad I could help you out with that.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Start a thread: "I'm evil and I really hate myself now."

Tempting. Very tempting.

 

[Math Is Hard]

I had to follow up my Santa visit with an email - just for good measure. I wanted to be very, very clear about my list this year. So I went to this wonderful site, www.emailsanta.com. Santa wrote me back within seconds. Here's what he had to say:

HO! Ho! ho! Jessica!
Thank you for sending me your email all the way from California! HO! Ho! ho! We get wonderful Christmas emails from boys and girls around the world but everyone at the North Pole sure gets excited when we get one from you Jessica!

Sorry the presents the last little while probably haven't been quite as exciting as they were when you were a little girl but, well, you know how these things go (*wink*). Anyway, Santa's glad to see some of the 'older kids' (not to mention anyone in particular!) still take the time to write. I also hear you've been a sort of good girl. (Of course, you won't mind if I do a little checking, will you?)

Let's see what you put in your letter for Christmas wishes: 1. husband; 2. trip to hawaii and; 3. box of nirvana chocolates. HO! Ho! ho! Well that *would* be quite a present if I brought you a husband for Christmas! But, as you know, that's one present the elves can't make -- and anyway the last time I stuck a new husband in my toy sack to deliver Christmas Eve they weren't too happy with me by the time I dropped them down the chimney! (Besides, I know you're going to find a very nice husband all on your own without any help from me.)

HO! Ho! ho! Rudolph wants to take me for another test ride in the sleigh so I better get going! The new sleigh is 'Internet-equipped' so I can even send & receive emails Christmas Eve! I hope you'll come back to EmailSanta.com Christmas Eve to watch me go around the world! Take care Jessica and don't forget to come back and visit me here at EmailSanta.com on Christmas Eve! And remember... only 6 more sleeps until Christmas!

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas,

Santa Claus

 

[zoobyshoe]

I can't believe how many times that vile, obese pervert called you a "ho".

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

You DID sit on his lap when you asked him right?

 

[Cyrus]

Hello Cyrus!
Thank you for sending me your email all the way from Rockville! I sure do love the Net because now I never feel lonely all the way up at the North Pole. An email from you, Cyrus, really makes my day!
Well call me the King of Jing-a-Ling, Cyrus, you're getting to be quite a big boy! Wow, 20 years old already! Pretty soon you'll be too big to sit on Santa's knee! Well, even though you're getting a little older Cyrus, Santa's glad to see you still have the Christmas Spirit. I also hear you've been a REALLY REALLY good boy. (Of course, you won't mind if I do a little checking, will you?)
Let's see what you put in your letter for Christmas wishes: 1. to steal the rights to your name; 2. make you pay gratuity for ever present you deliver and; 3. steal mrs. claus from you. HO! Ho! ho! That's exactly what I thought you might like! I'm thinking of putting some of those on my wish list too! Of course, I never get everything I have on my wish list -- but then again, it wouldn't be much fun if I always got everything I asked for. Then there would never be any surprise!
Oh! oh! The Grinch is trying to steal some of Mrs. Claus' cookies! That Grinch sure is funny. He may not like Christmas, but he sure likes those cookies! Well, I better go stop him before he snitches them all. Take care Cyrus and don't forget to come back and visit me here at EmailSanta.com on Christmas Eve! And remember... only 6 more sleeps until Christmas!
Lots of Love,

AHhahaha I am going to burn in hell...I just couldn't resist.

 

[Math Is Hard]

I can't believe how many times that vile, obese pervert called you a "ho".

Zooby, you should email Santa. Wish for Zooby things.

You DID sit on his lap when you asked him right?

AHhahaha I am going to burn in hell...

oh dang! that was too funny!

 

[Cyrus]

I think santa might kill himself if I do that to the poor guy, I better change it to something simple like a president, astronaut, and race-car driver.